The Girl is Mine

Every night she walks right in my dreams
Since I met her from the start
I'm so proud I am the only one
Who is special in her heart

The girl is mine
The doggone girl is mine
I know she's mine
Because the doggone girl is mine

Pluviophile (noun.) someone who loves the rain and who finds peace of mind when the heavens cry tears that may either be of sadness, of anger, or of joy.

It was probably love at first sight when he had first met her. He was of the tender age of eighteen and she was and still is two years older than him when he had first met and his life has changed since then. He who loved the rain had thought having met her was just like seeing an oasis in the middle of an unknown desert but at that time, he had not known that rather than having her in that heavily dry place, he had actually found her   right in the eye of the storm.

He had not known that at that single moment, he had unconsciously entered her world that is full of claps of thunder and shards of lightning. Her life was dangerous even if she was anything but that and that didn’t stop him because he knew that (from the lightning that warned him that she was too good for him, down to the Thunder who was more than willing to bust his confidence of his love for her, and up until the storm that both of them would face when the world was to receive the news of them being together) he was in it, living his life dangerously with her, without regard as to why he would willingly risk limbs and heart just to be with her.

He had known she was special when he was first introduced to him—that day had marked their first chapter in their book called Love. He knew he was the only one that could make her feel like the world was on her feet if he was to take care of her because he, however capable or incapable he was, would try to give her everything she could ever dream of. And he was not talking about material things.

He was talking about how he would give her the time…all the time in the world to think of what could possibly be in it for them. He did it because he knew that maybe a decade after, now eleven, she’d most likely come to her senses and realize that she was his. As he was all hers. Those eleven years that had passed had been a full-on tempest but he was adamant, more desperate than others, to survive it even if he had at one time lost one of his chances to the other creature, that slimy amphibian who called himself a dragon.

He had always known she was his right from that very moment she had opened and smiled at him when they were introduced to each other…oh good gods, he had known that in one way or the other he had to make her fall in love with him because that was what the heavens dictated for them to be. It had been a long journey full of dangerous and testy waters but he didn’t remain ashore during the storm because he himself was the violent sea who seemingly fought with it, in the hopes of luring the moon in even if the period was dark and the heavens that destined them were so against the idea of him having her kiss.

That period was his biggest frustration as she had left him to go to the other side of the world, a place that called themselves as a family and he was in this rather big town that had loathed the existence of what she was representing. But as frustrations grow old, they get forgotten and he had fancied himself in love with a younger one…a fair lady whose emotions are icy to others but warm when it comes to him. And his moon had crossed boundaries and loved a particular dragon that was part of her so-called family. It had been a brief phase, his being just a tad shorter than hers did but he loved her all the same even if that other girl had chosen her career over him, clearly because in her pretty head, she had thought he was not enough.

It probably was for the better because at that single moment when that fair younger lady ended it with him, he had realized that what they had was just that little spark that had gone wayward when he had flaunted her to the world…calling her his adorable dongsaeng for all the world to see…looking so happy when they had sang to the ocean of their town, hand in hand... and spoiling her with all the love that he could give. Time certainly has a way of dealing with it, with him, with the younger girl, with them…and time certainly has dealt with that little spark, blowing it out…when she had told him he was not her priority at all.

It had stung, of course, but that sting had not steeped through the blood that runs across his veins because that little spark was just nothing compared to the way the moon had her power over him. He tried lying to himself…telling him that distance was what she wanted…and what she had wanted was for him to leave her be with that (insensitive) boyfriend of hers. But he waited…and waited….and waited….and wait for years to go by, realizing that that other spark he had was just this image he had conjured in his imagination of what perfect lovers they could have been…but that image was so far from reality, as he had finally admitted to himself that kind of perfect was not for him…and that kind that was for him was her kind….

The imperfect kind….

That kind of girl who has big eyes…

That kind of girl who has the prettiest forehead he longed to kiss…

That kind of girl who seems so fragile on the outside…

That kind of girl who is actually the strongest inside….

That kind of girl whose story was a movie in real life…

THAT…that imperfect kind of girl was the most perfect one for him.

Imperfect, he says, because she was too good for him. She was not on his level because she was way ahead of him in every aspect. Mentally, he wanted to torture himself with the thoughts of her as he sees her from time to time on music shows where they do not even greet each other. Physically, he was drained with having to deny himself with the hugs he would give to her and would receive from her under the public’s watchful eye. Emotionally, he wished that she was not that imperfect kind for him because it was his dream to be her kind of perfect.

Imperfect, in her dictionary, was not defined the same as his as ‘imperfect’ had meant her life. The way she had grown with her family only to be conned by the man she had regarded her utmost respect—her father. The way she had to forget about everything else when she had posed for that rather racy spread that had caused others to frown upon her ‘behavior.’ The way she had to endure the scrutiny of the public eye because they had thought she was not enough. Imperfect meant her life…and her life…had meant this cluster of ferocious storms waiting to happen.

The cluster had meant chaos but he had not really cared because if he was to be in the middle of one, he would want it to be with her. And with his big faith and with a single leap, he had willingly, albeit nervously, jumped into her life’s vicious whirlpool, letting himself be swept away in the ferocious storm.

Her storm.

Her life.

It was at that same moment when he had entered her world and vowed to never leave it ever again. Even if it had meant he might never be the same again, if there were to come a time when she would never ever see him as more than someone she calls her ‘friend for a long time.’

Because at the very back of his mind he has been saying, “This girl…this girl named Sandara Park is mine.”

I don't understand the way you think
Saying that she's yours not mine
Sending roses and your silly dreams
Really just a waste of time

Because she's mine
The doggone girl is mine
Don't waste your time
Because the doggone girl is mine

But as the ferocious storm passes…he could glimpse that soft glimmer of the clear sky, telling him that there is hope, however little, for him to get closer to her even if she was so far out of his reach. Of Odin’s Gungnir, he had trembled, knowing that any second, the storm could hit him even under all the pretense of warmth beneath that little ray of hope he called destiny.

Destiny…

Destiny.

No matter how many times he had fancied thinking of what destiny has in store for them, there had been such a period where he thought giving up was the best he could do because there was no way she was going to see him the way she did when they had first met. That was the time when she had fallen…fallen so deep…deep into the pit of hell that he had named the dragon’s lair. His love was in love with someone he could not stand (much less understand) but he cannot do anything because at that certain moment, the heavens were playing with the idea that his destiny was to be altered because of one single man that his moon has clung on to.

But then came the lightning.

That sharp point of lightning…that point where he had lost his ignorance of her confusing ways…THAT, finally, was the point when he had thought that everything around him was rat’s and that he could love her freely even if she was still blinded by the other man because what better way could he show that he loves her if he would not just love her because he just does?

I love you more than he
(take you anywhere)

But I love you endlessly
(loving we will share)

So come and go with me
To one town.

But we both cannot have her
So it's one or the other
And one day you'll discover
That she's my girl forever and ever

And just because he loves her, he was