What is life? This is the question with no proper answer. Everyone define it in different ways.When I was young,I believed that life is an unlimited happiness.However,my views started to change as I grow up. Teenage.Early 20s.These are the years that will define who I will become.However,I’m still unsure what my life will be and who I will be.

 

Name: Nini

age:20

Height: 150 cm

 

A girl with ordinary looks.Makeups are not my cup of tea so does fashion.They are superficial.They are not skills so I wonder why women seek those things…

Although nobody has never told me I am beautiful,I believed that I am beautiful in my way.Until...this event happened.

 

After High school graduation,I sought the temporary job to gain work experience. I was free anyways since I was waiting for my results and university admissions.Aided with some organizational and IT skills,I got my first job as an admin for famous designer,Eric. Who can be more delighted than I was?He is the fashion leader and world-class designer.He is a celebrity and I would take picture so that I can brag my friends about him.

That day:

White top+black skirt.The classic office style.Combed my hair neatly and let it flow down my shoulders.Carried my backpack and off to my new office.

 

~~~

 

“I didn’t expect you to look like that.” The woman at counter judged me.

 

Why?Anything wrong? I wondered.

 

“He will come down in a minute.”She said before sitting down and continued putting on her make-ups.

 

Tall and lean figure.He can kill any woman with his looks.Wearing silky floral suits,Eric sure lived up the name of designer.He gently folded his arms and looked at me.Head to toe.

 

“I am going to fashion show and you way coincides with my way.Oh my...girl.” He spoke in such a sassy voice which irked me a little. But that the start of our adversary. I never expected that his words would become more harsh as he continued,which would provoke me more than his voice.

 

“Look at that hair. Those are fur.not...not hair.”He touched my hair anf felt the texture of it.Then he carefully move his hand towards my face.

 

“Tsk.Tsk.Girl.Where is your makeup? Do you know makeups are girls’ lives?How could you..”

 

“Wait.wait Sir.I came here to work as admin. What with my looks?Who are you to judge my looks?”

 

“This one is out. Lucy,send her back.get another girl.Beautiful one.” He sulked his lips and insulted me in my face.

 

My blood boiled with anger and My eyes filled with tears.Not because I was sad.I was not given a chance because I failed to beautify myself.Do the beauty that important in society?AM I THAT UGLY?

 

“MORON!” I shouted.

Eric then bent gently and leveled his eyes with mine.He was caked with layers of makeup too.

 

“You looks quite decent actually.But dear. This is not how the society works. decency is never enough. Not here. Just because you are admin means you will not be photographed.This is fashion world! Look,Beauty is essential. I hired you because I thought you will be like any other  young adults who will be obsessed with beauty.Of course,cheap labor and your superficial skills were icy toppings. Now the cake itself is ruined!Why would I want that? You.are.not.beautiful.”

 

My tears rolled down my cheeks.I have no energy to talk back,all I felt was shame.Shame for not wearing makeup and not being glamorous.

 

Eric then put his hands in pockets and walked away,followed by his assistants.

That was the first step to break my self-esteem. I have always wondered why women have to glamorise.IS this the reason? The society will not accept those who are not beautiful? Beauty itself is a ticket to success? My first step into this realistic society scared me.