ForeWord 2 :

I'm ready. Waiting for it. I'm scratching my forearm because I'm so stressed. Why am I doing this ? I should have told my friends that I need some help, but I'm afraid they would get hurt. I'm slowly going upstairs, watching my breath, inhale, hold, exhale. I tie my hair up, shake my hands, breathe out loudly and check my plans for the 10th time. To give me some strength, I think about everything that made me go that far...

Chapter 1/1 :

"- I can't believe what I just read ! Is this person serious ?? JongHoon, come see what this crazy anti is saying !

(JongHoon backhugs me and puts his chin on my shoulder to read)

- Oh, don't worry honey, this kind of crap is not true, please don't mind it, you'll be sick if you worry too much, do you want me to cook something ? 

- Yeah, sure, I'd like something warm, whatever you want.

- Ok, just relax and please don't pay too much attention to these people."

That's easy to say... "Relax"... how can I ? I have to answer to this crazy person.

"Hey there, why so much hate, you don't need to go that far with your words. You coul bring up useless problems"

But the only thing I get is an even more agressive answer.

"I am serious, and what I said is what I think, get lost or you'll get hurt".

I decide not to answer, I don't want to make it worse.

3 days have passed when we recieve a weird letter.

"I will be there, seoul concert is going to be the last concert for one of your members."

We decided to call the other members to discuss about it. We then realized that all the members recieved the same one. I told them to cancel it but they seem to take it as a joke and choose to ignore it, which I totally disagree.

Min Hwan sees how stressed and sad I look, so he hugs me, take my hair off my face and tells me everything is going to be ok, which I can't pretend to believe. They all stay at home for diner, but even if they talk about this and that, I can't stop thinking that they're in danger.

When everyone's back home and JongHoon is asleep on the couch, I manage to find who this person is. I find her real name and some of her pictures. She's pretty, looking very normal with black eyes and short hair.

The concert day has already begun. The girl sent me a message again. "Today, one of them is not going to live anymore, be prepared". This person thinks I'm one of them, crazy woman.

"- Oh WOW ! Honey you look gorgeous in this white dress ! How can I resist kissing you again and again ?

- I don't know neither ! (I say as a joke, trying to calm myself down) please come here, I need a big hug before you leave. My seat is far from the stage, so I want to be close to you as much as I can now."

Saying that, I know he won't try to look for me. I have some time to prepare myself. He's now gone to do the rehearsal, so I can concentrate. I warm up, and put black clothes in a bag. I can't stop shaking when I enter the car and lock my seatbelt. Tears can't stop falling as I'm heading to the concert place. It's dark outside, I can't even see the stars.

I deeply breathe, take my bag and go to the restroom. I put on my black clothes, keeping my white dress under it. I manage to go behind the stage and try to find the girl. I can't believe it when I see her. It was so easy to find that one girl who doesn't move and stare at them with hate. She's right in front of me but doesn't seem to see me.

I'm ready. Waiting for it. I'm scratching my forearm because I'm so stressed. Why am I doing this ? I should have told my friends that I need some help, but I'm afraid they would get hurt. I'm slowly going upstairs, watching my breath, inhale, hold, exhale. I tie my hair up, shake my hands, breathe out loudly and check my plans for the 10th time. To give me some strength, I think about everything that made me go that far...

I go through the crowd, that seems to disapear while I'm walking towards her. When I finally reach her, I don't know how I keep my self-control. I catch her wrist and pull her to bring her outside.

"You thought you were invicible ? Just come with me."

She tries to get off of my hand but I'm too angry, my strength is out of control. As we're walking, I look at the guys and see that some people around us are watching, so I try to hide my face but I suddenly hear a big noise, which reminds me of a firework. I now feel something very warm  that covers all my right body side while blood comes out of my mouth. People around us start screaming and the music stops. I let go of the girl's hand without wanting it, my body is becoming weak, I don't understand. I see the girl being catched, a smirk on her face and someone piggybacks me. I can't get my head up so I stop trying to move. 

I feel the cold ground when the man puts me on the sidewalk. He removes my black clothes and roll it to push on the wound. People around us are running away and I hear the man calling an ambulance. I see JongHoon running crazily and I try to talk to him, but blood is the only thing that comes out of my mouth. It makes me cough in a weird sound of boiling mud. I feel tired and close my eyes when he puts my head on his knees. He caresses my hair and cries.

" please, don't leave me, open your eyes honey, come on, you can't leave that way, I'm sorry, open your eyes"

I can hear him but opening my eyes... I can't even do it.