Jongin is lost in his thoughts once again but finally snaps back to his senses when he felt a pinch on his arm. This isn’t the first time he spends his lunch break staring at the other side of the cafeteria where the love of his life is sitting, totally unaware of his love and existence.

“You have ten minutes to finish your lunch,” Baekhyun, his unsupportive best friend, said. “Staring at him for an hour won’t feed your empty stomach.”

“But he’s feeding my fantasies and I can’t ask for more.” Jongin dreamily sighed, playing with his chopsticks.

His best friend gave a disappointing click of his tongue and continued on his work, which happened to be scanning over a familiar old book about witchcraft.

The tanned boy looked over the pages and shifted his eyes to his best friend when he didn’t find any interesting on the book. He just doesn’t get it. Why does his best friend waste a lot of time learning witchcraft? Spells and potions don’t work. Witches aren’t real either.

When he decides to return his attention to the other side of the room, a frown appeared on his face to see Kyungsoo, his one and only love, leaving the spot with a group of friends.

“They’re leaving,” he muttered and Baekhyun quickly closed his book and buried it at the bottom of his bag. He finds it weird. What does it have to do with the guys leaving?

Baekhyun turns to the direction where Jongin had been staring.

That’s when Jongin noticed one of Kyungsoo’s friends approaching their table with a huge, creepy smile. His best friend was grinning back at the guy. Something’s fishy, he thought.

His eyes almost pops out of their sockets after seeing the unnamed guy sit down next to his best friend and share a not-so-innocent kiss right in front of him. Who is he and how did it happen? Baekhyun never mentioned about dating someone nor having a crush on someone. As far as he knows, his best friend is only interested with voodoo dolls.

“Oh, hey, meet my boyfriend. He’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun is literally clinging into the guy’s arm. “And Chan,” he pointed a finger to the tanned boy, “that’s Jongin.”

“Ah, Jongin!” Chanyeol exclaims with a surprisingly deep voice that made Jongin flinch. “You like Kyungsoo, eh?”

Instead of answering, Jongin throws a glare at his best friend because it was supposed to be their secret.

He needs a lot of explanations.

 

--

 

On their way home in the bus, Jongin keeps on glaring at his best friend and Baekhyun knows what the other needs.

“Okay,” Baekhyun says with a sigh. “I didn’t mean to tell Chanyeol you have a crush on Kyungsoo. It just kind of slipped off my tongue. You know, when you’re in the middle of hot and steamy you just kind of say anything so it’s nothing--”

“Wait! You what?” Jongin gapes at the realization. “When? Where? How? You never told me anything!”

“Well, last Saturday my cousin asked me to a party and Chanyeol was there and—oh, Kyungsoo was there too! Anyway, I got a chance to talk to Chanyeol and I’m sorry for not telling you, he’s the reason why I’m into this witchcraft thing!”

Jongin immediately goes for a lookout and is relieved to see that they are the only passengers in the bus. “What do you mean?”

A sly smile creeps into his best friend’s lips. “I gave him a love potion.”

There is a moment of silence before Jongin erupts.

“YOU WHAT?!”

Baekhyun nods in response.

“It… it worked?”

“Uh, duh, obviously.”

“But that’s cheating.”

“It’s love, Jongin. Everything’s fair in love and war as they say.”

“Oh my glob. I can’t believe it.”

Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders in return.

When he gets home, Jongin tosses his bag to the corner and slumps down on his bed. He isn’t so sure whether to believe Baekhyun or not. But what was there not to believe? His best friend had been into witchcraft for more than a year and actually made someone fall in love with him immediately.

Why is he thinking of using it on Kyungsoo too?

No, he thinks. It wouldn’t be fair. Everything has its limits and he’s sure the love potion will stop working at some point.

But he thinks it’s worth a try. He’s not going to lose anything on trying. Maybe there is the chance of losing the eternity of being with Kyungsoo if the potion actually works and stops working. Kyungsoo will realize it and hate him.

 

--

 

Days went by and Jongin is convinced that the potion worked because Chanyeol is obviously in love with his best friend. The couple is happy – too happy in their own world to actually notice his presence.

It’s after lunch time and Jongin decides to get rid of the couple and stay in the library instead. He’s planning to find a safe and hidden spot to sleep and kill time. 

The geography section is the least visited part of the library but five minutes barely passed by when he hears a chair squeaking across the floor. The sound makes him cringe and when he opens his eyes, he is met with a familiar figure whose face is also cringed at the unpleasant sound.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologized in a hushed voice. “I didn’t think it would make such sound. Stupid me, the place is all rusty and squeaky.”

Jongin, however, just stays still as if the time stopped with him. He watched the figure drag the chair and set it against the bookshelf before using it to get the book on the top shelf.

Only a groan is heard and Kyungsoo huffed in disappointment. Jongin figures out that the needed book is still out of reach.

“I guess I’ll need another chair or,” Kyungsoo pauses and looks at him with a shy look, “another hand.”

Jongin just stares back, clueless.

The older boy manages to chuckle and shake his head. “A chair.”

“Oh!” Jongin suddenly realizes it before the other can grab a chair. “A hand. You… you mean me?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods and sighs in relief.

Jongin might have looked stupid for a minute.

“Sure.” He stands up and sets his feet on the chair Kyungsoo placed against the shelf. “Which one do you need?”

“The blue one.”

Jongin complies and handed the book to the older boy, receiving a small smile.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says before turning and leaving the tanned boy alone.

 

--

 

“Did something happen?”

Jongin sighs dreamily at the question. “Yes. I have fallen in love.”

The class just ended and both are heading to the nearby coffee shop to grab something to drink. Baekhyun shakes his head and ignores the other boy’s love-struck face.

Upon entering the shop, the tanned boy accidentally bumps into someone a little too harsh that the drink spills into his shirt.

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry!” the other person apologized, who happens to be Kyungsoo.

But he can just stare lovingly at his crush, who’s busy running around for napkins to wipe off the mess they had both made.

“Get a grip, Jongin,” Baekhyun says, snapping fingers in front of the boy.

“I can’t, Baek. He’s so adorable.”

“You can’t just stand at the doorway, idiot!”

“O-oh,” he snaps, looking back at the people behind him who are waiting for him to make way. He quickly scrambles away to an empty table, unaware of Kyungsoo following behind him, panicking and whining.

Before he can take his seat, he felt pressure against his chest and an unmanly squeak escaped his lips when he realizes Kyungsoo was wiping his uniform. The older boy gasped, a faint blush crept into his cheeks in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to invade your space.” Kyungsoo handed him the napkins before bowing and rushing out of the shop to the parked car outside.

Jongin wonders whose car it belongs to because the older boy entered through the passenger’s seat. At least he didn’t worry about Kyungsoo’s lover because the older boy doesn’t have one.

He sighed and takes a seat, eyes fixed on a tall plastic cup of cold coffee on the table. The cover is crooked and the straw is wet on the inside up to the tip. It was Kyungsoo’s drink. Kyungsoo was drinking it.

“Globness, I’m so lucky,” he mutters. After making sure no one’s looking, even his best friend by the counter, he grabs the drink and takes a sip.

Indirect kiss, he thinks and melts in the inside. He’s already chewing on the tip of the straw, thinking of all the benefits of having his lips where Kyungsoo’s were a few minutes ago. He can’t think of any benefit other than the indirect kiss.

“You’re disgusting,” Baekhyun comments, knowing what his best friend is thinking.

“It’s not.”

Baekhyun sits across him, sipping on his drink. “By the way, there’s another party next Saturday and Chanyeol said they’re all coming, including Kyungsoo.”

“So?”

“So I’m thinking it’s a chance for you to approach him. You know, in a cool way. Give him a drink and talk, maybe get him to bed too.”

“Ew.”

 

--

 

Bumping into Kyungsoo for the next few days didn’t do any progress for Jongin. He tried starting a conversation but the older boy is always uninterested. The longest time he had sent with his senior was ten minutes when they were falling in line, waiting for their turn in the cafeteria to get their lunch.

He thinks it’s nice that way. He doesn’t have to act stupid every time but how long is he going to bear with it? He can’t be a distance away forever. He never had any relationship before so he isn’t confident with his flirting skills and besides, Kyungsoo just doesn’t seem interested with him.

Maybe it’s time he should try Baekhyun’s love potion.

There’s nothing to lose if it doesn’t work.

“Baekhyun,” he poked his friend’s arm while they’re on their way home in the bus. “I need your help.”

“What?”

“I need your love potion.”

“Why?”

“Do you really have to ask that?”

“Yes, because you might use it to lure Chanyeol away from me.”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up.”

“Okay, I’m just tired of this one-sided love. I wonder how it feels like if Kyungsoo likes me back.”

Baekhyun flashes his most innocent smile and nods. “I see. But nothing will work if you don’t grow up some balls. And with Kyungsoo, you need big balls.”

“Stop being so dirty!”

“Hey, nobody likes small balls!”

“Stop!”

 

--

 

Jongin only have one reason why he’s in the party. To put his love potion to work.

He gets two cups of fruit punch, stealthily taking a tiny bottle of red liquid from his pocket. Earlier, he had an argument with his best friend because a tiny amount of potion doesn’t seem to work for him but Baekhyun insisted that it was the amount he used to lure Chanyeol.

He pours the whole amount into the cup which he will give to Kyungsoo. He goes around after he’s done with his trick, searching for his target. He spots Kyungsoo going to the bathroom and so he stays nearby so that he can give it to the older boy before anyone can do it.

The door swings open and Kyungsoo comes out.

“Hyung,” he calls out, successfully gaining the other’s attention. He raised the cup with the potion and Kyungsoo smiles before accepting it.

“Thanks.”

“So, uhm, wanna go outside and get some fresh air?” He wonders where all his confidence came from. He swears he was sweating a lot earlier.

“Sure.”

Both are staying on a bench at the yard, away from the people by the pool and grill. The tree above them provided them some privacy while they’re talking about anything.

“Why did you come?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Baekhyun wanted me to. He just won’t stop bothering me until I agree so here I am,” he says, lying at its best. He was the one who wouldn’t stop bothering his best friend until Baekhyun agreed to come so he wouldn’t be alone in case the potion doesn’t work.

“Chanyeol didn’t stop annoying me too. I originally planned to stay at home.”

Jongin notices the other’s cup is empty already. The potion must work soon.

Kyungsoo chuckles and shakes his head. “I should have stayed home.”

Then silence drapes over them. Jongin is simply waiting for the result and Kyungsoo is swaying his legs back and forth.

Jongin doesn’t know how long he was staring at the older boy. It must have been ten or fifteen minutes. Kyungsoo’s legs suddenly halted and Jongin stiffened at the action. Did the potion work?

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says softly but enough for the other to hear. It’s the first time he calls the younger by the name and Jongin’s heart starts pounding hard.

The older boy turns his head slowly to face the other and locked gazes.

“I know you like me and I just…”

Time is still for Jongin and it is painful but at the same time, he feels like he’s dreaming. It must be the alcohol.

“I just want you to know that…”

But it’s proven that he’s not dreaming when he felt soft and warm lips against his.

The potion worked, he concludes.

 

--

 

How many kisses they have shared that night, Jongin couldn’t count. Too many to count.

Though they haven’t said anything about liking each other, their feelings became mutual. Jongin can feel it and it’s obvious. They share stolen kisses in school, spend time in the library together after lunch and things get a little far from innocent sometimes.

Jongin always compliments the older boy for being neat and smart. In return, Kyungsoo tells him he’s so attractive and warm.

He is satisfied with the results. Everything is fine. He likes Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo likes him back. What could go wrong?

Guilt.

Yes, guilt. Even though they’re both happy, Jongin can’t avoid it. He cheated fate.

“Jonginnie,” Kyungsoo interrupts his thoughts with a coo. “You’re spacing out again.”

“It’s nothing. Just thinking.”

Kyungsoo gives him a smile. “I’ll see you later?”

“Of course. I’ll wait by your room.”

He watches the older boy walk away and as soon as the other turns the corner, he sighs. He can’t keep doing this forever too. Guilt will never go away.

This is all wrong.

He’s so selfish. What if Kyungsoo was in love with somebody else? If that’s the case, he had deprived the older boy of his happiness.

 

--

 

“Baekhyun, this is not I wanted at all,” he mutters and his best friend raises his head to look at him. “This is so wrong.” He uses his chopsticks to poke his food.

“What’s wrong? The potion worked and you have Kyungsoo.”

“But it’s not fair! Don’t you feel guilty about Chanyeol? Huh?”

Baekhyun hums in thought. “Um, no.”

He doesn’t understand. Why not?

“Look, Jongin. We both worked hard for it. We earned it.”

“In a wrong way.”

“So I guess,” Baekhyun sighs in defeat, “I’ll just tell you that—“

“Chanyeol’s coming!” he announces as soon as he spots the other’s boyfriend. “I’ll go get Kyungsoo.” He stands up and leaves his food unfinished to look for his senior. They’re still in the mutual stage so he isn’t sure about calling the older boy his boyfriend yet.

“Hyung!” He catches up with the other who’s heading towards the comfort room. “Can I talk to you?”

The looks confused. “Don’t we always talk? I mean, you sound uneasy.”

The comfort room is empty and Jongin makes sure it is after checking the stalls before locking the door.

“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo smiles, but there’s worry in his eyes. “What is this about?”

Jongin’s taking advantage of his courage while he still has it or else, he will regret not telling Kyungsoo the truth.

He traps the older boy against the counter sink and his arms on both sides. “Hyung, I just need to tell you something—“

“Are you breaking up with me?” Tears start to form in the older boy’s eyes and Jongin feels even guiltier.

“No, hyung, I’m not—wait, we’re not boyfriends so why would I break up with you?”

“Then what are we?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Stop playing with my feelings. It’s not funny.”

He can’t stand seeing Kyungsoo so hurt and it’s because of him. He’s the reason why the other is crying.

“I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo is now hitting him with his hands but none of it was even painful. It hurts him to think that the other couldn’t return the pain he gave.

“Don’t leave me,” Kyungsoo begged, desperate, clutching on the younger’s uniform. The next words are muffled against the other’s chest.

“Hyung, you don’t like me.”

“I do!”

Jongin bit his lip and stares ahead on his reflection in the mirror. “You don’t.”

“I do!”

“It’s the potion that I asked from Baekhyun. I mixed it with your drink at the party. I cheated, hyung. You don’t like me.”

The other boy stops sobbing, probably thinking thoroughly what he just heard.

“But I like you, hyung. I really do.”

“What potion?” Kyungsoo asks softly, not moving an inch.

“Baekhyun made it. He used it on Chanyeol too.”

“You’re really stupid.” Kyungsoo pulls away, wipes his tears with his sleeves and playfully slaps the younger’s cheek. “You made me cry for nothing.”

And Jongin still doesn’t understand or maybe Kyungsoo just doesn’t mind about the potion thing.

“First, potions are not real. Second, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had been dating secretly for three months. Third, I already liked you way before the party. I can’t tolerate alcohol and I just took advantage of my drunkenness to confess you that night because you’re not doing anything! I grew tired of waiting for you to ask me out!”

“What?” That’s the only word Jongin manages to blurt out.

“I seriously thought you’re breaking up with me and well, that means I’m already accepting your offer to be my boyfriend in advance.”

Jongin doesn’t move. Everything he heard is just too much for him to process.

“Can you stop being dumb for a while?”

 

--

 

“So there’s no potion!” Jongin exclaims as soon as his best friend sits next to him in class.

“Exactly,” Baekhyun nods with a proud smile.

“Then what was that?”

“Red wine.”

Jongin’s mind stops working again.

“I lied to you, okay? I’ve been dating Chanyeol and I figured out a way for you to grow your still-small balls. I’m still interested with witchcraft and it’s just another factor for you to believe me. The only secret ingredient was your courage so you earned it. You have Kyungsoo.”

“Well, at least, technically, I didn’t cheat.”