Youngjae hates airports. Which is unfortunate, really, considering the amount of time he's had to spend in them lately.

Working as a bio-engineer meant two things: long, burdening work shifts, and seminars. The first misfortune is fine with Youngjae, actually- it was hard to get used to and difficult to manage, what with being a father of four and a doting husband, but he got used to and accepted it over the years; this is his life now, and he's learned to manage it.

As it stands, though, the seminars are by far the problematic aspect of his job. Youngjae has always hated unnecessary socializing and staying away from home for long periods of time, and seminars are just that; hotel convention halls filled to the brim with snooty professors and cranky, over-confident mechanics, and the depressing counting down of the days left until he gets to board a plane and come back to his loving family.

"Do you really have to go?" Junhong asks with a pout, his short arms wrapping around Youngjae's neck and drawing their faces closer together, as if to keep his father in place, prevent him from going.

Youngjae chuckles and pats his son on the back. "I'm afraid I do, baby," he confirms sadly, mimicking Junhong's expression to show his displeasure. "But it's only for five days, okay? I'll be back before you'll know it, and we'll have tons of fun."

"Me too, right, dad?" Jongup pipes up, tugging on Youngjae's pant leg with a tiny hand, face full of hope. Youngjae hefts Junhong so he's holding him with just one arm and uses the other to pat Jongup on the head, ruffling his hair a little and making the boy laugh.

"Of course."

The noise of O'Hare airport's departure hall bleeds into Youngjae's consciousness, people bustling around with heavy suitcases, messages sounding on the PA system, families saying goodbye to their loved ones for god knows how long.

A hand comes to rest at the small of his back, warm and reassuring, and Youngjae looks to his right to find Daehyun smiling at him. It's the easiness of that smile that sends relief and quiet spiraling through Youngjae's system, making his chest tingle and his fingertips buzz pleasantly.

He sets Junhong down next to his twin and issues a short command for them to stay where they are before taking Daehyun's hand in his and leading him to a place out of their sons' earshot, facing him with a nervous smile. "I don't know how I'll handle this without you guys," he admits quietly, mumbling, the noise around them almost drowning the words out.

But Daehyun hears him; he always does. "Hey," he starts, voice and eyes soft as he looks at his husband. "You can do this, I know you can. It's not like it's the first five-days-long seminar you've been to."

Youngjae sighs, the sound coming out shaky and unsure, and that's all it takes for Daehyun to engulf him in arms and pull him to his chest, one hand cradling the back of the younger's head gently. Youngjae melts into him and lets all the anxiety and fear bleed out of him through his lungs, arms weak around Daehyun's frame.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he whispers after a few heartbeats, burying his face in the crook between the older's shoulder and neck. Daehyun makes an understanding sound, running a hand up and down Youngjae's back.

"I know. I'll miss you too."

They stay like that for another minute, just letting their chests rise and fall together for the last time in five days. Youngjae inhales Daehyun's scent and lets it take over for a minute, blocking out the environment around them. His fingers move, tapping out a random rhythm against Daehyun's sides; it's an anxiety-fueled habit, one that he's had for years, but it always calmed him down somewhat.

Finally Daehyun draws back, smiling at Youngjae lovingly as he cups his cheeks. "You'll be fine. I believe in you." He plants a soft kiss on the younger's forehead and Youngjae closes his eyes and lets his husband's words trickle down his spine.

"You have to watch over the kids," he says when Daehyun pulls back, voice and eyes full of warning. "Especially Himchan. I'm worried about him," he adds, casting a glance at where the twins and Himchan are entertaining themselves while waiting for their parents to come back. The teenager in question is watching over his brothers carefully, taking the big brother role in Yongguk's stead. A feeling of pride swirls in Youngjae's chest as he looks at them; his boys.

"Of course I will. We'll have a blast," Daehyun promises enthusiastically. "And we'll call you on Skype every evening, okay?"

"If you won't I'll skin you," Youngjae murmurs gravely, and the older laughs and leans his forehead against his. They look into each other's eyes for a second before closing the distance between them, lips meeting sweetly; Youngjae savors this moment, eyes closed so the only thing he can remember is the feeling of Daehyun's lips against his and his taste on his tongue. "I love you," he whispers against Daehyun's lips, feeling them curl into a smile.

"I love you too."

------

Daehyun was always an enthusiastic father, admittedly, so having to spend five days alone with the kids was definitely not a problem- especially not with Yongguk in college, meaning one less kid to take care of. Granted, Yongguk was always a very self-sufficient kid (Youngjae tended to call him "the self-cleaning oven") and was always easy to look after, but it's nice to have less people to tend to.

"So I was thinking," he says over dinner on Day One of Youngjae's seminar. "How about we go to Shedd Aquarium tomorrow?"

Junhong, ever the ocean life and biology enthusiast even at the tender age of six, literally drops his fork. "Yes! Yes, please, can we, dad?" he pleads, bouncing up and down in his seat, eyes shining with excitement. His twin nods along with him, their expressions matching.

"Sure!" Daehyun says, smiling at his sons and their cute reactions. "Himchan, do you want to come too or do you already have plans?"

Himchan seems to think about it rather seriously, twirling his pasta with his fork absentmindedly as he ponders the question. "Okay," he decides with a small smile, and Daehyun celebrates silently in his head.

"Okay," he echoes. "After we finish dinner we'll call daddy and see how he's doing."

Jongup seems to double his eating pace at that, shoving a forkful of pasta into his mouth and barely chewing before swallowing it and shoving another forkful down. "Easy, Up," Daehyun cautions, patting his son on the back. "Chew your food, baby, don't choke on me."

"On us," Junhong corrects around his own mouthful of pasta.

Himchan makes a sound of disgust, looking at his brother with a gaze that seems to speak of deep aggravation. "Gross, don't talk with your mouth full."

The younger seems to take that as a challenge, stuffing his mouth full of spaghetti before turning to his older brother. "Like this?" he teases.

"Junhong, behave," Daehyun warns.

"Yes, dad," Junhong says in defeat, withering in his chair.

(He sticks his tongue out at Himchan when Daehyun isn't looking, though.)

They settle down in the living room after dinner, Daehyun taking the laptop and opening a new Skype window. They wait anxiously for Youngjae to pick up on the other side, the twins wriggling in their seats expectantly, and a great cheer fills the house when the call goes through and Youngjae's face appears on the laptop screen, tired but smiling at the sight of his family.

"Hey, guys," he greets happily, voice tinny over the laptop speakers. "It's good to see you."

"Good to see you too, dad," the twins sing together.

"Hi, dad," Himchan says quietly, smiling his usual small smile.

"Hey, Jae," Daehyun finishes, his chest swelling with warmth at the sight of his husband. It's been one day, but he already misses him so much. "How is it over there?"

A pained expression settles on the younger's face. "Ah, that," he states, voice sounding like Daehyun reminded him of a great displeasure that occurred to him. "You know, the usual. Stuffy people and boring lectures. We thought there was a cat inside one lecture hall, but it turned out to be someone's ringtone."

"Someone has a cat meowing for a ringtone?" Himchan questions with a raised eyebrow as the twins explode with laughter.

Youngjae shrugs, the movement a little choppy on the screen. "People are weird, but I don't judge. Anyway, what have you guys been up to?"

Cue the flood of stories from the twins' day, which includes either Jongup or Junhong animatedly telling a story with the other casually barging in to share his own point of view on the tale. Youngjae listens attentively, nodding and saying things like "I see" or "Really?" or "And then what happened?" at the appropriate times; Daehyun watches this exchange with a wide smile, happy to see his husband drinking up every last bit of information about their sons' day.

"And what about you, Himchannie?" Youngjae asks after the twins run out of stories to share. "What happened to you today?"

Himchan looks away from the laptop, lips set into a fine line. "Nothing interesting," he mumbles.

"What?" Youngjae says, leaning closer to his laptop. "Speak louder, honey, I can't hear you."

"Nothing," Himchan repeats, expression sour. "I'm going to my room."

"Himchan—" Daehyun starts, but the boy is already hopping up the stairs two at a time, the sound of a door closing following soon after.

Youngjae's eyes are sad when Daehyun turns back towards the laptop. "Let him go, baby," he advices quietly. "He'll tell us if he wants to."

------

In his room, Himchan is staring at the ceiling, his lungs burning as he tries to stifle a sob.

Calling Guk…

He ends the call before Yongguk picks up; even if he could talk, he doesn't know how he'll say it.

------

"Guys, look at this," Daehyun says excitedly the next day, pulling his kids towards a particular tank and pointing. "Isn't this awesome?"

At first they don't see it, but then it moves and they erupt into loud exclamations of surprise; it's a seahorse, colorful and flashy and disguised as colorful algae, floating gently in its tank.

"Why does it look like that, daddy?" Jongup asks, voice full of wonder as he presses his hands against the glass separating them and the seahorse.

Daehyun opens his mouth to reply, but Junhong beats him to it. "It's called camouflage," he explains knowingly. "If a predator wants to eat it, the seahorse disguises itself as algae so the predator doesn't see it."

Jongup's eyes look like they're about to bulge out of their sockets. "Cool!"

"Yeah."

They go about the massive compound of Shedd Aquarium like that, Junhong pointing out random facts wherever they turn; the mantis shrimp has the most elaborate visual systems ever discovered. When turned belly up, sharks enter a frozen state in which they can't move, so when orca whales set out to kill a shark, they turn it belly up and leave it to drown. Otters have the ability to create and use tools, just like beavers, monkeys and apes. Jongup drinks every single piece of information with his eyes wide open while Daehyun follows along with amused curiosity, and Himchan trails behind in silence.

"The Shedd Aquarium was tons of fun," Jongup says that night, when Youngjae picks up the Skype call. "Junhong knows tons of things."

"I bet he does," Youngjae agrees wholeheartedly, smiling at his family. "Did you get to see the dolphin show?"

"Oh yeah," Daehyun says. "Junhong dragged us there half an hour before it even started so we can get first-row seats."

"I just like dolphins," Junhong mutters, tone defensive.

Later, after Daehyun has put the twins in bed and tucked them in, he returns to his seat in front of the laptop and is greeted with the sight of a dozing Youngjae, chin resting in his hand and his eyes closed. Daehyun sits and watches for a while, admiring his husband's nose, his eyelashes, his lips, his cheeks, before waking him up with a soft "Jae, baby".

Youngjae blinks himself awake, smiling at his husband blearily. "Hey, idiot."

"I'm worried about Himchan," the older admits quietly, glancing upstairs even though said boy has went to his room over an hour ago. "He's so quiet, he barely says anything. He doesn't even admonish the twins when they do something gross."

"I've noticed it when you called yesterday," Youngjae agrees, settling back in the uncomfortable wooden chair his hotel room supplied. "Do you think something's up?"

Daehyun sighs. "It's hard to know with him, honestly."

The younger hums, nodding to himself. "I'm sure he'd tell us if it's serious, though," he says after a while. "Or do you want to talk to him?"

"No, we should do it together," Daehyun says, and Youngjae can see the tenseness in his shoulders, the thin line of his lips.

"Hey," he calls softly, drawing his husband's attention to him and smiling when their eyes meet. "You're doing great. I love you, okay? Don't overthink it, we'll handle it together when I get back."

Daehyun nods, his body relaxing slightly. "You're right. We'll handle it together."

------

It's Day Three to Youngjae's seminar, and Himchan can't back out anymore.

Calling Guk…

He takes slow, deep breaths, focusing on the white floor tiles beneath his feet and feeling the panic escalate with each passing ring; but no, he's done running away from it. He has to talk to someone about this, otherwise he'll explode.

"Hey, Himbunny," Yongguk's voice says from the other end of the line, and Himchan is surprised with how relieved he is to hear his brother's voice.

"Hi, Guk," he replies, the smile on his face automatic despite what he's about to do. "How's college?"

"Oh, you know, I'm working hard, keeping it together," the older says, the tiniest bit of humor in his deep voice. Himchan's chest is warm. "How are you, little one?"

"I'm three years younger thank you, Guk," Himchan says, but there's no real bite to his words. He bites on his lower lip, the warmth in his chest making way for anxiety. "Um, hey Guk?"

"Yeah?"

"I have something to tell you, and when I do, just… just promise not to freak out or anything, okay?"

"What is it, bunny?" Yongguk's voice is worried now, and Himchan's heart is beating so fast he can feel it in his throat.

"Promise," he says forcefully, fingers tight around his phone and hysteria bleeding into his voice.

"I promise, Himchan," Yongguk says, voice calm and reassuring. "Tell me what's wrong."

The younger breathes in, but it still feels like he's suffocating; he powers through it nonetheless, closing his eyes tight as he says it.

"I think I'm gay."

There are a few seconds of silence in which all Himchan can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and his own breathing, and all he can do is pray that his brother isn't completely disgusted with him now. But in the end, all he gets is a quiet "Okay".

He blinks, unsure of he heard right. "Did you just say 'okay'? Did you hear what I said?"

"Sure I did, and it's okay with me," Yongguk says; relief floods through Himchan's body like a waterfall, and he can finally breathe right. "Did you tell dad and dad?"

He wriggles on his bed uncomfortably, drawing his knees to his chest. "Um. Not really?"

"Why not?"

"What if they hate me?"

There's uproarious laughter on the other end, and it sounds like Yongguk's struggling to breathe. "I'm serious, Guk!" Himchan shouts, slightly angered by this reaction.

"Dude, Himchan," the older starts, wheezing, "they're gay. They've dealt with homophobia and hate their entire lives. Why would they hate you? Think about it."

Shame creeps up Himchan's neck in the form of a bright red blush. "Yeah, okay, you're right," he agrees quietly, resting his chin between his knees. "I'll talk to them."

"Good. Listen, I gotta go now, but I love you no matter what. Got it?"

Himchan smiles, the kind of smile that's reserved for Yongguk only. "Got it. Bye, Guk."

"Bye, bunny."

He hangs up and collapses on his bed, arms spread to the sides and a  weight removed from his chest.

------

Youngjae literally flies into Daehyun's arms when he comes to pick him up from the airport, relief overflowing and threatening to drown him as he squeezes his husband tight and breathes his scent into his lungs.

"I've missed you so much," he says after they're done kissing, smiling wide and grabbing his suitcase's handle as they walk towards the car. "This was awful, I'm never doing it again."

"You say that every time," Daehyun reminds him, but his smiling too; they were never good at being apart, especially ever since they got married, and it was always such a blissful experience, to hold each other close again.

The living room is decorated with balloons and a "WELCOME BACK" poster made by the kids (with Daehyun's supervision, of course; Jongup had the reputation of getting paint everywhere) and the twins explode with joy when Youngjae walks inside the house, launching themselves into his arms and shouting excitedly. Himchan gives him a hug as well and they celebrate their reunion by eating pizza and Skyping Yongguk, but it's not until later that night that Himchan knocks on Youngjae and Daehyun's bedroom door.

"Come in, baby," Youngjae says happily from his place on the floor, where he's been sitting for the past fifteen minutes to unpack his suitcase. "What's up?"

Himchan takes a deep, controlled breath and closes the door behind him, standing with his hands tightly clasped behind his back. "Can I talk to you guys?" he asks shyly, chewing on his bottom lip. Youngjae exchanges a meaningful look with Daehyun and joins his husband on their bed, patting the mattress next to him to signal Himchan that it's okay to sit. "You can talk to us about anything, baby."

"Okay." Himchan shuffles his feet awkwardly, a metallic taste of anxiety filling his mouth as he gathers the courage to just say it. He closes his eyes and lets it out.

"I think I'm gay."