He was never supposed to notice him. But he did.

He was never supposed to like his laugh. But he did.

His lips were never supposed to smile when his did. But it did.

His heart was never supposed to jump whenever he sees him, or whenever someone mentions his name. But it did.

His stomach was never supposed to be filled with hundreds of purple elephants with yellow polka dots with glittery wings rampaging around and trying to escape. But it did.

It was supposed to be a simple crush. Well, as simple as crushes could be when you’re a raging hormonal teenager.

It was supposed to be a one-sided love. Something he was familiar with. Something he could handle. Because there was nothing to handle.

Crushes are safe. No one knows about your crush on him because you didn’t tell anyone. There isn’t any need to. It’s just a crush. It’s not love. It’s no big deal. But that disturbing greasy leer your best friend gave you every time you so much as smell your crush within a mile radius of you might suggest different.

Crushes are much easier to ignore. Give or take a twinge of jealousy or two. A need to break a face or several. A desire to claim or mate –  

 

Whoa. Back up. Mate? Since when did they turn into animals?

 

“Well, technically you can because humans are mammals and mammals mate” said the lanky guy right across him busy gobbling his second lunch. His mismatched eyes closed in pleasure as he took a bite of his kimchi fried rice.

 

“Oh, heaven~” he moaned with mouthful of rice.

 

Tch, glutton.

 

Wait. Did he say everything he wrote out loud?

 

“Just something about being jealous and breaking faces and mating” the glutton interrupted again, snickering around yet another mouthful of kimchi fried rice. “Seriously hyung, you need to get your filter sorted. Better yet, get yourself one” his extra large plate of kimchi fried rice is almost finished.

 

Good grief. And he had the nerve to tell him to get a filter.

 

“Shut up, Min. It’s rude to talk with your mouth full” he was annoyed now. His snarky friend just interrupted his daily daydreaming aka his longtime hobby of thinking about his crush 24/7. Such is the act of cruelty to have that dream dangling in front of you and have it snatched by someone who doesn’t deserve a tenth of his time. Scratch that. A tenth of his all-you-can-eat-buffet lunch.

 

“My mouth isn’t full. See?” he opened his mouth as wide as he can. It was empty this time – the extra large plate of kimchi fried rice is now happily swimming in his stomach. Or maybe, judging by that obnoxiously loud belch, he is happy they’re swimming around in his stomach.

 

“Ewwwww, gross~” he scrunched his nose. “Would it kill you to have table manners?” His normally subtle vanilla scented perfume is now polluted by digested kimchi air plus whatever it was inside Changmin’s stomach. Ugh, he is actually feeling one with his stomach contents.

 

“I bet Yunho does it too” he wiggled his eyebrows and his grin was all-knowing. God damn, eyebrows. He’d like to see them wiggle when he shaved both of them off. Someday. Soon. Very soon.

 

“Whatever” the beautiful guy rolled his eyes. His cheeks quickly coloured though because his heart skipped again with just the mere mention of his crush’s name.

 

An observation that went unnoticed by the evil glutton who cackled at his expense. Jaejoong is really gearing up with his wax for that mother effing eyebrows – Changmin deserve nothing short of waxing torture. God knows his voice has the pitch to scream his lungs off when he pulls those sheets off his eyebrows. Slowly, of course.

 

“And what are we laughing our heads off to?” asked an amused baritone.

 

“Nothing”

 

“Jae hyung’s crush”

 

Two very different answers were heard by the newcomer. But he knew which to listen to.

 

“Awwww, Jaejae. Look at you being adorable and squishy and blushing like Yunho’s favourite strawberry” Yoochun cooed, pinching Jae’s cheeks.

 

“Gerroff me, you big foreheaded ” Jae countered even as he coloured a little bit more. His two friends just howled in laughter and Jae considered getting some new friends. “And how do you know Yunho likes strawberries?” he was irritated at Yoochun’s words.

 

Does everyone know Yunho likes strawberries?

 

The thought made him unconsciously pout.

 

“Duh, he eats them for lunch every day. Oh, and you mention it ever so often in your diary” Yoochun smiled innocently.

 

Okay, that was just wrong. Yoochun and innocent do not belong in the same sentence. Not in this lifetime and many lifetimes to come.

 

“Shut up, Chun. It’s a journal. Diaries are for girls” Jaejoong defended his honour. He may look like a girl but he’d be damned if he acts like one.

 

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. You write feelings and everyday stuff in them. It’s the same thing. So, what did you write about Yunho today in your ‘journal’?” Yoochun lifted his hands in an imitation of quotation marks. “Is it his mole? His lips? His biceps? His abs? Oh, oh, oh, I know. His moobs?” he continued his onslaught of teasing, his greasy leer never leaving his lips.

 

“He was writing a poem about him – in the second person.” Changmin interrupted before he could respond, laughing with Yoochun as he said so.

 

Deciding that he’d had enough teasing for the day, Jaejoong quickly packed his things wanting to get the hell out of the cafeteria and away from the howling hyenas he has the misfortune to call best friends. He was too preoccupied with his escape from his merciless friends when he bumped into something hard. Or rather someone hard.  

 

And since it’s Jaejoong’s day from hell, who better to run into other than the bane of his existence?

 

He couldn’t have been more mortified in his life. Not even if he tried. He just bumped straight into Yunho. In the middle of the entire school cafeteria. And if that’s not enough, the impact of the collision sent his books randomly scattered across the floor. They didn’t even bump that hard! How hard is this guy?

 

You mean how hard is his chest right, Jaejoong? inner voice questioned.

 

He coloured at the implication of his inner voice’s words.

 

Not the time, inner voice me!

 

“Jaejoong-ssi, are you alright? I’m sorry for bumping into you. I wasn’t watching where I was going” a familiar deep voice interrupted his musings. He looked apologetic. And it was right then and there that he noticed Yunho was holding his waist to keep him from falling. He felt warm and tingly all over and nothing could have stopped him from flustering and flailing and falling hard on his at this revelation.

 

I had skinship with Jung Yunho! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

 

Really not the time, inner voice me!

 

“Jaejoong-ssi, are you okay? I’m sorry I dropped you” Yunho looked a little alarmed and guilty at dropping Jaejoong. He should’ve hold onto him really tight.

 

“Nothing but my pride and hurt” he blurted out.

 

Oh my god, did I really sound like an ?! Eomma, why didn’t you give birth to me with a filter? How am I supposed to get a boyfriend?!  T_____T

 

“I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Have you eaten yet? How about I treat you to lunch?” Yunho tried.

 

“I’m really okay, Y-y-yunho-ssi. It wasn’t your fault. I’m always clumsy”

 

Wow, stuttering and telling him your weakness. Pretty sure that was a 101 on ‘How Not To Impress Your Crush’

 

Shut it!

 

“I’d still like to make it up to you. If you need anything, just ask.” Yunho insisted, handing Jaejoong the books that he dropped.

 

“Okay” Jaejoong mumbled a quick reply and quickly made his way out of the cafeteria. He noticed the whole cafeteria went entirely silent at their encounter.

 

The Bermuda Triangle sounds about good right now.

 

He didn’t notice that the almond eyes that he’d spouted poetics about were following him out of the cafeteria. Nor did he notice a black diary that Yunho secretly held onto with the initials KJJ on it.

---------

“Hey, what’s that?” Junsu asked, wiping the sweat off his face. Football practice had been tough especially since the season’s game is about to start.

 

“N-n-nothing” Yunho lied, hiding Jaejoong’s diary behind his back.

 

Junsu squinted his eyes at him. Yunho may have the perfect pokerface but he is Kim Junsu, Jung Yunho’s best friend since they were in diapers and making number twos together. And pokerfaces are nothing if you stutter!

 

“Jung Yunho, you do not bull your best friend and expect him to not notice you crapped on him!” he scolded.

 

Yunho sighed. Why did he even try?

 

 “It’s just a book” he sidestepped.

 

“And I’m Donald Duck’s long lost cousin” Junsu said, deadpanned.

 

“JaejoongdroppedhisdiaryinthecafeteriasoItookitbutI’mgonnagiveitbackIswearIwill” Yunho replied in rapid fire.

 

Junsu didn’t even bat an eyelid – he was too used to Yunho’s 100-word-per-second speed talk.

 

“And you’re reading it because-?”

 

“Er--” was his genius answer.

 

“Friggin’ hell, Yunho. I know you’re crushing on Jaejoong but there’s a difference between someone’s diary and a library book. You don’t check out someone’s diary” Junsu fumed.

 

“But I want to know him, Su. What was I supposed to do?” Yunho whined.

 

“Okay. Number one,” he ticked off one finger “do not ‘accidentally’ bump into him to start a conversation and feel his waist because he almost fell. Two,” he ticked off another finger “do not steal his diary when you’re trying to win him. And three, be normal and ask him out like any normal person does when he likes someone” Junsu finished with an exasperated look on his face. Yunho is honestly thick sometimes. And he was the one with the lower IQ.

 

God is fair, afterall.

 

Yunho winced. He should’ve known better than to orchestrate that cafeteria spectacle. Nothing gets past Junsu. Nothing.

 

But he was desperate and desperate times call for desperate measures. He’s been in love with Jaejoong ever since he saw him tripped over air playing badminton and fell flat on his . How that was even achievable is beyond Yunho but he’s been smitten ever since. He’d been content watching Jaejoong from afar and loving him at a distance from then onwards and his affections grew deeper with each passing day.

 

He had never interacted with Jaejoong in any way but he knew that Jaejoong is a Hello Kitty nut. He makes a point of using Hello Kitty stationery set, and Yunho could have sworn he saw Jaejoong jogging around his neighbourhood covered in Hello Kitty sportswear – the whole jacket and sweatpants set complete with sneakers. He didn’t even know such things existed.

 

He knew that Jaejoong’s favourite animal is elephant. They happened to have art class together – the only class they have together ­– and their teacher asked them to paint a picture of their favourite animal.

 

From that class, he also knew that Jaejoong was a talented artist. And if what he overheard the other day from his two teasing best friends, Jaejoong writes poetry too.

 

He also knew Jaejoong could sing – he isn’t dubbed the school’s “Angel Voice” for no reason.

 

He pouted at that last thought.

 

He didn’t feel that special knowing that everyone knows Jaejoong could sing.

 

Yunho wants more. He wants to be special. He wants to be Jaejoong’s special someone.

 

Yunho wants him.

 

 And he wants to know if Jaejoong likes him like he likes Jaejoong. So the whole stealing his diary thing had been a justified reasoning to find out everything he can about Jaejoong and see if his feelings were reciprocated or not – only now that the hazy clouds of love dissipated did he realize that it was an thing to do.

 

Stealing his diary was totally a spur of the moment thing though. He just wanted an opportunity to talk to Jaejoong and ‘accidentally’ bumped into him. But he saw the black book that Jaejoong carried everywhere with him and before he knew it, he was already keeping the diary safe in his varsity jacket.

 

But it was because of that he found out that Jaejoong likes him the way he likes Jaejoong.

 

He gushes at everything about Yunho in his diary – his mole, his eyes, his lips, his abs, his biceps, and even his moobs. He shuddered at the last thought. At least Jaejoong likes them even if he didn’t. It’s one less thing to worry about trying to impress Jaejoong.

 

And Jaejoong knows he likes strawberries. That was a very important fact to know and he inwardly cheered for Jaejoong as he rewarded him with brownie points in his head. The fact that everyone knows he likes strawberries is a point lost to the lovestruck teenager.

 

Yunho’s glad that he’s not suffering from unrequited love but he regrets delaying his confession. They could’ve made all sorts of precious memories together and he wasted all this time trying to figure out if Jaejoong likes him or not.

 

Junsu was right. He should’ve just asked Jaejoong out like any normal person crushing on someone.

 

And it’s because of that that Yunho had finally reached his limit. He was done knowing things about Jaejoong that others also knew. He was done loving him from afar. He was done being passive. He’s going to be aggressive now. He’s not going to just think about Jaejoong. He’s going to be doing now.

 

Whoa, there. Don’t you think it’s a bit too early for that? You’re not even together yet.

 

Stop leering, inner voice me! Jaejoong is mine!

 

Yunho wasn’t even aware that Junsu left him in the locker room when he saw Yunho wasn’t even paying attention to his advice anymore. He mentally wished Yunho good luck because he is definitely going to need it.

-------------

Jaejoong is just a fraction of a minute away from a nervous breakdown.

 

He lost his dia journal! Damn Yoochun for making him think of his journal as a diary.

 

He only just noticed his missing black Hello Kitty journal when he was putting his things in his locker at the end of the school day. He never leaves his journal at home. He brings it everywhere because he doesn’t feel his journal is safe unless it’s with him. But it seems like it isn’t safe regardless of whether Jaejoong keeps it with him or not.

 

He searched high and low for it in his bags, in the classes he had to today, and even the toilet which he rarely frequents because boys’ toilets are never sanitary enough for him. But all his frantic searching boiled down to nothing.

 

He tried to recall the last time he had seen his journal. He was writing about Yunho – again – during lunch time when his friends about it. He took off wanting peace away from them and perhaps finish whatever is left of his poem. He bumped into Yunho in his haste to escape and fell on his when he realized Yunho was holding him – 

 

His eyes bulged out of its sockets.

 

What if Yunho has his journal?

 

But why would he have it? No guy in their right mind would pick it up. They probably thought it was a girl’s diary anyway.

 

He growled at his inner voice at that.

 

It couldn’t have been Yunho. At least, he hoped to God it wasn’t. He could handle someone else knowing about his crush but not Yunho. But that someone else would probably announce it to the whole school anyway so Yunho might as well have his journal and find out himself. At least Yunho would keep it to himself.

 

Right? Right?

 

He groaned at the thought. He could already envision his impending doom – he wouldn’t make it through the rest of his senior year.

 

How could he face Yunho? Ugh, why did he have to write about him in every single entry of his journal? Why did he have a journal anyway? A black Hello Kitty journal? Just why Jaejoong? Why?

 

He slammed his head on his locker, wincing at the impact. Great. He’s going to be walking with a purple bump on his forehead tomorrow.

 

“Er, Jaejoong-ssi, are you okay?”

 

Jaejoong jumped at the question. He didn’t notice Yunho was standing next to him. He prayed in consternation that now was one of those rare times that he actually had a filter and didn’t voice everything out loud.

 

“I’m okay. Just.. er.. lost something really important to me and I couldn’t find it” he confessed.

 

Yunho just finished showering after football practice and was about to head home when he saw Jaejoong at his locker. He decided that right then was as good a time as any to return his diary. Even at a distance, he looked upset.

 

Hearing Jaejoong’s response just worsen his guilt. He didn’t mean to cause the pretty guy worry but he’d probably bang his head against something too if all of his secrets and private moments were lost. He almost feels defeated now. There was no way Jaejoong wasn’t going to think that he didn’t read his diary. He just lost his chance to be together with Jaejoong. And that hurts him because it was his fault in the first place. But Jung Yunho is a fighter and he certainly is no quitter.

 

He gathered his courage and took out the diary that he kept in his bag – just in case he dropped it like Jaejoong because then it would be real trouble if he lost it.

 

“I think this is what you’re looking for” he handed the black diary to Jaejoong.

 

Jaejoong’s eyes widen as he saw Yunho handed back his journal. There was no way that Yunho didn’t read his journal. Even if he did just flip to the first page with his initials written on it.

 

“I know what you’re thinking. That I probably read your diary. And you’re right, I did” he stopped when he saw Jaejoong paled but he decided to press on. He has nothing to lose anyway – apart from Jaejoong but it’s not like he had him in the first place.

 

“I’m sorry I read it but I don’t regret it. If I could turn back time, I would do it all over again because now I know that…that…you…I…we…that we….I mean…” he stuttered.

 

Dear God, please give this lion haired small faced alien a gist of eloquence for him to be happy for once in his life.

 

Thanks    =_=”

 

Yunho took a deep breath and tried to calm his erratically beating heart. Of course, it defied him just for the hell of it and started beating faster.

 

“IlikeyouJaejoong” he blurted.

 

You must’ve done something for God not to give the eloquence I asked for Yunho.

 

He wanted to strangle his inner voice. He’ll show him.

 

Jaejoong was speechless and doing a great job at imitating a blowfish. Alright, time for some calculated risk movement – honesty.

 

“I like you, Jaejoong. I know it was wrong to take your diary and read it. It was a pretty dumb move but I just wanted to know you better and maybe find out whoever it is you’re crushing on. I knew there was a possibility that you might like someone else but I was hoping it was me the whole time I read your diary and I couldn’t have been more thrilled when I found out that you do like me”

 

He smiled as he remembered Jaejoong’s entry from this morning. “I’m glad you noticed me. I’m glad you like my laugh. I’m glad that my smile makes you smile. I’m glad that seeing me or just hearing my name, your heart jumps. Mine does too. And I thought only I had those hundreds of purple elephants with yellow polka dots with glittery wings rampaging around my stomach, but yours does too, and I’m glad. I’m glad for everything. And you don’t have to feel jealous of anyone or break any faces because I only have eyes for you. More than I have them on strawberries” he finished. He grimaced at his cheesy strawberry adlib but he figured Jaejoong would get his message because Yunho doesn’t mess around with strawberries and Jaejoong knows that. And Yunho knows that Jaejoong knows that.

 

“So you like me? More than strawberries?” Jaejoong asked. He was too afraid to get his hopes up earlier even though Yunho just practically recited his poem back at him. Could it be possible that Yunho, his crush Yunho, hot as hell Yunho, Yunho that he wrote poetics about, likes him? But when Yunho puts strawberries into the confession, he knows Yunho is serious and he lets himself float on cloud nine – Yunho doesn’t kid when it comes to strawberries.

 

"Wouldn't be making a fool of myself if I didn't. And I don't joke about strawberries”

 

Jaejoong grinned despite himself.

 

“I guess it’s okay that you read my journal then” he shyly mumbled.

 

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” Yunho asked, barely keeping himself from breaking out into a conga – he was basically forgiven if that comment Jaejoong made was anything to go by. Aah, honesty is truly the best policy.

 

Jaejoong didn’t trust his voice not to squeal so he just settled with a nod but it was good enough for Yunho. Jaejoong looks good blushing like that.

 

“So do you wanna grab a smoothie or ice cream maybe?” Yunho asked. He couldn’t wait to make up for lost times and there’s no better time than the present.

 

“Sure, let me put this inside my bag first before I lose it again” Jaejoong slipped his journal into his bag and made sure he zipped fully.

 

“Imagine if someone else found your diary” Yunho commented.

 

Jaejoong shuddered at the thought but Yunho’s remark bothered him. “Yunho, since you’re my boyfriend and I like you, I’ll give you a warning that I didn’t bother with anyone else. Diaries are for girls and if you call my journal a diary one more time, I’m gonna castrate you and you can join the girls’ football team” he ended with a sweet smile but the threat was there.

 

Yunho was stunned. Jaejoong had balls. Figuratively, of course, because he literally knows that.

 

“I’m sorry. Did I just ruin our relationship before it started?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“No. I like that you’re honest with me. I could probably never imagine you’d be this way but the fact that you are makes this, makes us, feel real” Yunho grinned.

 

“So you still like me?”

 

“I still like you”

 

“More than strawberries?”

 

“More than strawberries”

------------

 

AN: I don't know if this is comedy enough. I can't write them to save my life T_T What do you guys think? Comments make me happy ^_^