It is a little past 3 in the morning but in a place called Seoul, in a quiet pitch black room, there sits a boy, eyes staring far out into the dark nothingness of the room. 

His body is exhausted and he wants nothing more than to sink back into the comfort of his warm bed and let sleep wash over him. But he is afraid that when he wakes up, he would be hit by the panic and anxiety he feels when he thinks about their reality that he doesn't want to sleep. He has cried silently to himself so often that he isn't quite sure when his eyes are dry and not. It hurts him so much to think about how their efforts were going down the drain and how he can't do anything to save it that it is sometimes difficult to breathe. He is still young, so young and not quite ready to face the harsh cruel world yet but at times like this he feels so old and weary. He thinks back to when the six of them were truly and genuinely happy and wonders yet again where it had gone wrong, wonders if it could be that way again. He wonders if he could have done something to change things but he knows deep inside that some things were just meant to be. The other five had always protected him in place of his family, took care of him like he was their family. He doesn't dare to take comfort in the temporary solace that sleep can provide him with when he knows for sure that he will only feel worse when he awakes the next day. And so he sits in silence for the third night in a row, fighting off the demons in his head, telling him to sleep, sleep, sleep. 

The boy thinks he is up in the dead of the night alone but he is not. In the same dark room, in the bed opposite the said boy, another boy who is just a little older than the other lies quietly facing the wall, eyes open and blank.

He knows that the other is awake but he doesn't make an attempt to let the other know. He isn't all that sure that he is ready to talk or do anything at all and so he just lies quietly, not welcoming sleep nor trying to escape from it. He feels like an empty shell of what he used to be. He remembers happy smiles, spontaneous laughters and bright expression. He remembers and it hurts. He wishes with all his heart that this wasn't happening to them. But he knew it was bound to happen one day. People said he looked like he didn't know the bad of the world, what with his forever positive demeanor, but he knows. He knows more than anyone would ever know he did. He also knows how much he loves the other five and how much they love him in return. They are the second family he has been blessed to have. He has never been one that was good with words and affection but they have embraced him anyway, his good and his bad.  And he wishes so badly that he could embrace them back in return and make them feel all right again. 

The two in the room are the youngest of the six but neither are spared the pain and hurt that the other four feel. In the room opposite theirs, another two boys sit in a bed together, tucked under thick sheets and another bed lies on the opposite end of the room abandoned.

The first boy holds onto the hand of the second, eyes closed and expression peaceful as if he were asleep, but he isn't. His mind is filled with images of the six of them together, the memories of them on stage and off. He smiles slightly as the edges of his lips upturn a little as he remembers a silly memory of them fooling around in the dorms and how they had been so so happy, faces bright and laughter ringing. He wishes he could bring that smile back to each and every one of their faces, but he knows that it will take time and so he is glad that he has all the photos he took of them along their journey and tries his best to stay happy when he looks at how far they have come since the start and all the things they have done together since. He used to tease them and laugh at their silly antics with a bright smile and now he holds those moments even closer to heart. His heart clenches and unknowingly he frowns, smile disappearing as quick as it had come. 

The second boy, whose hand are still held tight by the other, lies on his side as he watches over the first boy. He sighs softly as he watches the boy smile a little, only for it to quickly turn into a frown. He clenches the boy's hand a little harder to let him know that he's still there and its alright. He wants very badly to reach over and smoothen out the crease lines that have formed on his face from his frown but he holds back and simply continues to watch over the other. He wonders when they had started to sleep on the same bed, too worried and stressed out by everything that was happening to them that falling asleep without the comfort of having the other close was near impossible. He wishes he could have foreseen their circumstance, that way he would at least have a little more strength to face the problems that were crushing them one after another. But he hasn't prepared himself at all and the aftermath was ugly. He doesn't feel all that sure what it was for that he waking up the next morning but as he watches the boy who has finally fallen into a fitful sleep beside him, he knows. He needs to protect the family that he holds so close to heart. The family that isn't blood related, but the ones who about his infinite love for cheesecake, the ones who laugh at him when he fails to reach the high note in their song sometimes, the ones that really care. 

In this manner, the two fall asleep with their hands still held tight, not knowing that another two boys are sitting somewhere outside, unable and unwilling to fall asleep. 

On the couch of the cramped living room, two boys sit together with the dim light from a nearby lamp casting harsh shadows over the room. The two in the room are the oldest of the six, and with their age came bigger responsibilities and emotional burdens. It is hard for them to remain strong for the rest but they try their best. 

The first boy, sharp features and strong gaze stares out of the window at the dull greyish blue sky and asks with a barely audible voice, "Why us, the kids don't deserve this."  He waits for a moment but doesn't get a response from the other who stays silent in his spot. He sighs loudly, closing his eyes as he leans back against the old and worn couch, heart heavy and mind exhausted from thinking about all the things he could and should do to make things better for them. They are all his kids and not even the one sitting beside him, the one who in reality is older than him, is an exception. He worries over them just like a mother would and it is painful for him to know that they are all hurt right now and that nothing that is in his ability to do will make them feel completely alright again. He worries so much about them that sometimes he forgets to worry about himself. He can make sure that everyone gets their meals and has their rest but somehow he just can't bring himself to do the same for himself. He is so tired and on the brink of giving up but he knows the other wouldn't be able to hold up alone. So he holds on a little longer for him and for the others. 

The other boy looks straight ahead at the white washed walls of the room, not quite sure what exactly he feels. He only knows that he is sorry, terribly sorry for what they are going through. He had promised them and promised himself that as the leader of the team as the head of this family that he loved, he would protect all of them. But he had failed completely and he felt so guilty that he finds it hard to look at them without looking away a moment later, too overwhelmed with emotions. He answers the question the other asked him a while ago in his heart, being painfully honest, he tells himself, "I don't know." He sees the way they all look at him as if he has all the answers to their problems, as if he knows how to fix everything that has gone terribly wrong, but he doesn't. He is tired, stressed, upset and so much more that can't be put into words but knows what his role is. He knows that once he breaks, the rest will not last long either and so he stays strong for them, just like how they are staying strong together. 

They had started out as six boys with the same big dream. Now as that same big dream comes crashing down, the same six boys who were once strong and believed that anything would be possible as long as they tried were starting to doubt themselves.

But bigger than the doubt was the hope, the hope that if they stood together and didn't stop fighting for the same dream that they started out with, they would come back standing stronger, taller, prouder

In the end.