Episode 5:

Love Diminishing

Groggy and aching from the day before JiYong woke up and rolled over trying to adjust his eyes to the usual darkness only to find the bed much shorter than he anticipated. He crashed gently into something sharply cold and ran his fingers along it to find a familiar decorative iron pattern against what he assumed was the wall. That could really only mean one thing; he was in SeungHyun’s room, which was not completely baffling, since that was where he usually ended up when he was fighting with Seungri. The confusing things were that a) he was in Seunghyun’s bed, not the creaky trundle bed that slid underneath it and b) he had a clear memory of having fallen asleep on the big purple sofa in the red room when they got back home from that wedding cake delivery.

He took a drag of a breath, in the musky smell of flour and something else that was distinctly masculine. SeugHyun always had the smell of bakery and applewood smoke hanging off of him and it had clearly soaked into the bed. The slender baker rolled onto his belly and hugged the single pillow to his chest as he attempted to rouse himself further. His head was pounding and his hair felt greasy when he tried to run a hand through it. With a pit of anxiety starting to settle in his stomach he reached over the white iron side of SeugHyun’s ridiculous daybed and turned the alarm clock around. There was a blue sticky note pasted across the neon numbers that read “Don’t panic, SunDae is working,” in wobbly, rushed handwriting.

SunDae, that made Ji crack the first genuine smile of the day, he reached up reflexively to cover his mouth with the back of his hand even though he was alone. With a gentle touch he peeled it off and peeked at the numbers beneath it 8:15 am. How could he still be this tired at eight in the morning?

The discomfort of having slept in stiff jeans didn’t set in until he made an effort to stand up. As they shifted against the sheets he could feel the lines where the thick seams had dug into his skin and left angry red valleys. With a sigh and a full minute worth of hesitation he spun into a sitting position and planted his feet on the floor. He kicked his feet absently a couple of times, feeling the soft carpet pass between his toes.

SeugHyun didn’t get much use out of his room, so the carpet felt almost brand new except for the places were the trundle bed had pressed wheel tracks in and the furniture feet had weighed in. It had in fact been the older baker who had been forced to pick out the flooring for the bedrooms. JiYong and Seungri had gotten into an argument about the color. JiYong had wanted a darker color that stains wouldn’t show on, Seungri had wanted white. It had ended in a long argument about children and how the younger didn’t want them. And the carpet was medium beige.

Ji shook the bitter memory out of his head as he stood. He tried to stretch out his aching back as he stumbled for the door but just ended up knocking his forehead against the trim when his balance came up short.

His hand landed on a crinkle of paper when he d blindly for the doorknob. Another sticky note. As he peeled it off the brass knob he took a half a step back so he could pull it to his face and read it. The words dragged across his vision and found a place in the cold angry pit of his heart. “Remember Ji, every ending can be a new beginning too.” Instead of a signature it had a weird, half drawn cake emoji with a smiley face. For all of his artistic talent SeugHyun was an awful doodler.

His own bedroom was right across the hall. The previous tenant had converted it from a bedroom into an office so it had two doors. The one he rarely used faced SeugHyun’s bedroom and was staring him down from across the hall the instant he stepped out. The morning light was blaring thought every window, mocking his tired eyes. Mocking the gloom that settled in his bones. He honestly had no idea what he was about to walk in to. There were any number of choices; an angry fight, a physical altercation, a screaming match, who knew? All he knew was that he couldn’t keep ignoring how unhappy he was. He was starting to sink under the pressure of his own sadness. Something had to give.

Several moments passed in silence while the orange haired man collected himself, and ran through a couple of possible scenarios. Nothing prepared him for what happened when he crossed the white expanse of the wide hall. He hadn’t even crossed the threshold after he dragged the cherry wood door open when gasping breathy, distinctly masculine noises reached his ear and his stomach did an uncomfortable flip as reality slammed into his chest. All of his angry words left him. All of his everything left him. His world turned upside down for the tenth time in two months. Rage coiled tight around his gut and made his face hot.

He could have sworn in that moment that he gagged down ten years worth of pain and choked on his own pride. In a flash of a second he left JiYong behind and embraced the persona of G-Dragon, the suave, cocky cake decorator with a sassy attitude. If he was going to have to face this, he was going to do it with dignity and poise because he had wasted more than enough time on agony only to walk in on his boyfriend in bed with another man.

Seungri had done a lot of stupid things. Seungri had slept with a lot of people that he shouldn’t have, but this was…unbelievable. GD stepped through the door with a grace he’d been lacking not two minutes ago and turned his head to the left for just long enough to see the sheets wiggling around suggestively. Clearly they had heard him come in, because Seungri made of point of always mentioning how he hated the way that their big fluffy down comforter overheated him at night. There was no way he would be rolling around under it all sticky and sweaty of his own volition.

“Hurry up and finish,” GDragon deadpanned, “You’re already late for work.”

The comforter peeled back just enough for Seungri, who was evidently laying on his back, could peek his head out, “Don’t worry, I’ll wash the sheets.”

“You can just burn them instead,” GD offered. There is a point at which sadness and anger began to blur together; Ji was swimming in a pool of mucky purple depressed fury as he crossed through his room to his bathroom. “You better not be in this room when I come out.” Was the last thing he said as he threw the door shut behind him.

He wanted to punch something, or cry, or both. He wanted to scream in hot boiling rage, shatter a mirror, and sob but there would be time for all of that later. Right then, in that moment, the only thing he could think was that he so badly wanted to go to work. He could pour all of his rage into brightly colored frostings…and Cinnamon rolls because it was Tuesday. 

No time to feel the pain. It was cinnamon roll day. Even though his heart kept threatening to drop out of his body and splatter all over the floor he held himself together. Cinnamon roll day was a community tradition. Every Tuesday he put on a tank top and frosted cinnamon rolls at the counter; pretty much the whole neighborhood bought breakfast for their employees. It had the benefits of being ridiculously fun and making them a whole ton of money.

He was, admittedly, not at all in the mood for cinnamon roll day.

With a frustrated grumble he flicked on the light and dragged himself to the mirror. To his surprise he found the bags under his eyes had actually diminished. For the first time in nearly half a year he looked well rested without a full coverage concealer and a thick layer of foundation slapped on his face. JiYong decided that would be his silver lining today. The contents of his make up drawer rattled around as he pulled it open and dragged his stool out from under the peeling white countertop.

A smile spread across his face as he looked in. Another Sticky note was planted at the bottom of the drawer in the very middle. “Swag check” was scrawled across it in mock graffiti. He wondered when that had been put there. If SeungHyun had seen Seungri’s new boyfriend (not likely), or if he had had someone else put it there. Maybe it had been there for weeks and he just hadn’t noticed until he then.

He pulled it up with some difficulty and stuck it to the mirror instead, pressing his thin fingers along the edge, forcing it to grip the glass. JiYong was smiling despite himself, despite his thoroughly shattered heart. He was smiling because his rage had passed, and if he didn’t smile he would start to cry. So, he turned his attention back to the drawer and reached back, wading through the plastic bins that caged his products by category until his had reached the very back. The bin at the back was for things he hadn’t been using but weren’t expired yet. That was where he found his BB cream. Glorious, magical, tinted moisturizer that wouldn’t feel heavy on his face.

Literally all he did for make up was throw on some eyeliner and rub silky colored lotion onto his face with a sponge. He threw some gel in his orange hair, shook it out a little, washed his hands, sighed out his negativity as best he could and wandered back into the bedroom.

The bed was a rumpled mess but no one was in it. He thanked his lucky stars for that, because he really didn’t want to have it out with a post coital mess of a human; he didn’t even really want to think about what that would have looked like.

It was nearing nine in the morning, which was when the majority of their friends and neighbors came in. So he hurried to trade his t-shirt for a baggy hot pink tank top and rushed out the door.

As he reached the bottom of the stair well the loud rattle of chairs and the bustle of shouting voices all trying to converse over one another greeted him. It sounded just like any other Tuesday morning.

JiYong sighed and wandered towards his hook. Habitually, he scanned his box for his mail and business notes that sometimes got left in there when he fell asleep early. Instead of the usual fair he found yet another sticky note. He had to try hard no to snort when he read it.

“You like?” it said, with a little arrow pointing down.

That was when he noticed the apron that was hung backwards there. Sliding his hands along the black on the back, and winding his fingers around the cheetah print trim around the edges he smiled. New aprons were always appreciated. He wrapped his hand around the patterned neckband as he flipped it. Honesty he couldn’t help but snort that time. In more of the same cheetah print material it had appliquéd words tumbling down; Actual Cinnamon Roll King. With ‘actual’ being small and in the top left corner and ‘king’ hovering above the pocket. The ‘i’ in king was dotted with a bright yellow crown that had rhinestones on all three of its pointed peaks.

In that moment he was sure he had the weirdest, best friend ever.

He threw the neckband over his head and reached behind him to tie the strings around his waist as he slowly dragged himself out into the lobby. With a deep breath of spicy cinnamon-sugar air he pasted his most genuine fake smile all over his face, cracked his neck to the side, rolled his shoulders and walked out.

Everything in the lobby stopped, and by association everything in the dinning rooms went still too. The warm air shifted like a void had been ripped right through the middle of the building. The orange haired baker was suddenly painfully aware of himself in the shifting silence as the crowd parted ways with curious eyes. Some of them had undoubtedly watching Seugri’s mystery man do the walk of shame. The sad truth of the matter was that to get out of the bakery, no matter which door was used, the lobby had to be walked through in one direction or another. Ji wondered for a moment if maybe he should turn around and slink back up the stairs. Despite his G Dragon armor the host of watching eyes in that moment made him very uncomfortable. He recognized probably ninety eight percent of the people peering at him curiously.

“Hey Ji,” a particularly cheerful Tao whispered from the left, in the red room.

Ji dipped his head in recognition at the tall black haired sandwich shop employee and spared an extra smile.

“Thank heaven,” YongBae’s voice called out from he counter. The sound of him shuffling broke through clearly as he pushed through the crowed with a moderately sized piping bag thrown over his shoulder.  His eyes were glittering with a weird sort of happy sadness and sympathy. Oh how Ji hated that face. “I thought I was going to die.” He huffed.

The older man’s ruffled hair and white glaze frosted shirt showed all of the signs of working a Tuesday morning pastry shift. “How do you do this all day?” he asked.

The orange haired baker shrugged, hoisting the bag onto his own shoulder as it was offered to him. YoungBae had clearly been struggling to keep pace with the orders because SeugHyun was at the counter standing next to Daesung helping to fold out orange boxes while Dae ran the register and Seungri made coffee.

“Hallelujah,” SeugHyun sighed, “I thought I was going to have to start frosting too.”

“That would be a disaster,” Dae laughed. “You’d get one an hour done trying to make sure it had the exact right amount on it.”

Ji quirked a smile and opened the counter so he could walk through. He took his place with his head held high and started twisting globs yellowish-white vanilla butter cream onto blazingly hot dough rolls as they were spread out before him. Youngbae slid over and took SeugHyun’s spot, and the oldest clapped Ji’s shoulder gently as he slid back into the back to check the oven.

“I’m going to need more frosting,” Ji offered.

“I know,” SeugHyun sassed, “I already made it.”

“Look at you all out in front of things for once,” Ji snorted, “I’m surprised.”

A host of loud cheers and claps erupted as he shook his hands out and got to work, absorbing himself in the task at hand. Order after order flew by. Box after box filled and fled and before he knew it three whole hours had passed.

JiYong finally had the chance to walk back into the kitchen then, it was just passed noon and he dismissed Daesung and YoungBae with a “You look like death.”

To which the blonde had responded, “Let’s not point out the obvious,” before he untied his apron and walked out of the lobby.

Youngbae waved and smiled brightly, “You sure you guys will be okay?”

“We can handle ourselves,” Seungri huffed.

Ji bit back the urge to say ‘clearly you can’t,’ and opted for nodding instead.

“There are cheesecakes in the fridge for the afternoon crowd,” SeugHyun yawned out. “I’m going to take a nap.”

“In your bed?” Ji asked as the older man tried to turn and walk towards the hallway where he kept his pitiful cot.

“Daybed in the office,” SeugHyun offered with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. He was leaning against his station. He was wearing a white button up under his white and grey striped apron, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he managed to be seemingly untouched by the chaos of the day except that his hair was a fluffy mess on top of his head. The long stainless steel table behind him was a mess of flour and oozing with cinnamon roll filling, and all kinds of other sweet things. It wasn’t like him to work fast and messy, but it had been an exceptionally stressful, oddly busy Tuesday. It was the unwritten rule of their routine that he cleaned up in the afternoon, no matter how bad the kitchen looked.

“Enjoy dreamland,” Ji said with a wave that counted as approval and a sigh as he thought about the hours he was about to spend cleaning. How had that frosting even gotten in the fryer hood?

He fully expected his dear friend to stand up and walk away at this point and turned away to find a suitable trash bin to sweep all of the baking refuse into. Running a hand through his orange locks he began to slide towards the tiny, stuffy janitorial supply closet that was positioned between the fryer and the box truck dock.

“Ji?” SeugHyun asked

“Hmm?” the leader replied without turning around.

“JiYong,” he said again as the shorter man wrapped his fingers around the old brass doorknob.

The door popped open with a squeak as the wood scrapped hard against tile flooring. Fake lemon and a weird greasy orange smell greeted him and made his nose twist up a little in disgust.

“What?” Ji asked

“Kwon JiYong, you should respect your elders,” SeugHyun huffed, “And look at them when they’re speaking to you.”

Rather than spin right around, the younger baker took his time scanning the warped plywood shelving, gathering up the de-greaser and stainless steel cleaning spray and some rags from the bin that was hanging off the door.

“Why did you make such a mess SeugHyun?” was the question he asked when he finally did turn back around to find his ‘elder’ unmoved. The younger man sighed again as he set the cleaning supplies down gently. “It’s going to take me hours to clean this.”

SeugHyun shrugged, “It gives you an excuse not to go out front?” he shrugged.

The shorter man snorted, “You did it on purpose huh?”

He shrugged again, “I maybe wasn’t as careful as I could have been.” The table legs made a gentle screeching noise as SeugHyun shifted, sliding over and pulling his long legs up so he was actually sitting on the table. The metal of the ring on his middle finger made a loud clang as it contacted the empty space next to him.

It had been awhile since that gesture had been used. Ji obliged, and came to sit next to his senior, resting his head gently on the other’s shoulder.

“Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed,” he sighed out softly. The applewood smell crawled up under his skin and comforted him gently the way it had when they were children.

SeugHyun hummed in response and rested his own head on JiYong’s.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Ji warned.

His companion hummed again, and grew intentionally heavier, pressing his weight in to Ji’s fluffy orange hair.

“Ya,” the smaller man grumbled. “You’re going to squish me.” As he tried to pull away, strong arms wrapped around his middle, “SeugHyun” he seethed as the air was squeezed out of his lungs.

The elder continued to hum.

“I thought you were going to bed,” Ji argued.

SeugHyun shushed him and whispered, “Don’t ruin the moment.”

“What moment?” Ji hissed, “You’re crushing my ribs.”

The blue haired baker rubbed his face into Ji’s head and busted out laughing right as the timer at the front counter went off. He released his captive and landed his back on the cold metal slab behind him as he shook with violent laughter.

“What the heck?” Ji puffed as he hopped off the table and ran to go rotate the pastries, “I hope you have a terrible nightmare.” He offered.

Suddenly the door slammed open so hard that everything jolted and Ji and SeugHyun both shot out into the lobby to find a white knuckled Key stomping through in. Onew followed sheepishly behind him, grabbing at the blonde man’s arms only to be shaken off like a misbehaving puppy. “How dare you,” Key seethed, fixing a murderous glare at a bewildered Seungri who was milling about washing his cappuccino machine.

“Excuse me?” JiYong asked.

“I would say this doesn’t concern you,” the brunette seethed as he reached the counter, “But it does.”

“Key don’t” Onew sputtered trying to hide his face in his hands. “Key, just leave it.”

“I will not,” The other hissed. “Seungri…no, Lee SeugHyun how dare you take advantage of my friend.”

“I didn’t take advantage of anyone,” Seungri defended, “He asked for it.”

SeunHyun’s eyes went wide and Ji had lost his lower jaw somewhere on the floor. Onew for his part was red eyed and puffy cheeked and nearly in tears screaming at Key to “Just leave it alone.” But Key was having none of it. In fact, Key looked more furious than JiYong had ever seen him. Focusing on the younger diva’s rage kept his at bay for a moment, a very small moment.

“Of all the people on this freaking block you choose to screw the one that is ually confused?” Key raged on, his filter was turned off and he was boiling over with the kind of fury that JiYong envied.

He wished he could be that mad…and then he was when Seungri said, “We were both drunk, how do you know he didn’t take advantage of me.”

“Am I the only person this block that you haven’t had with this month?” Jiyong hissed, and the floodgates opened.

~~~~~~~

I am a terrible person. I am so sorry; please don't leave me over this chapter. I love you all. I swear this is going somewhere good. (Really, I promise) The next chapter is going to be a lot more fun. 

I love you all, thank you so much for reading. Pretty please leave a comment if you like the story. I will love you forever.