It's a double update, so make sure you read the chapter before this one!!c:

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Watching movies makes me think of Kyungoo. And the popcorn makes me think of Kyungsoo. Okay, everything makes me think of Kyungsoo-or maybe I'm thinking of Kyungsoo 24/7 and the other things are just getting in the way.

So avoiding him is a good policy. It's better than having a friend crush on him, telling him I love you, man in government, and handing him a copy of the school's magazine with I'm gay practically printed in the centerfold. If I don't see him, I'll have to stop thinking about him and I won't have to talk to him. So then he'll never ask about what I said in government or why the hell didn't I come out to him like a normal person instead of publishing it in the magazine like a freaking idiot? And I won't have to hear him tell me, Jongin, you're the world's worst best friend. Or, It's cool you're gay and all, but I don't think we should be best friends anymore.

Jieun and I make plans to spend the weekend together so I can pretend everything is okay between me and Kyungsoo-even though it clearly isn't-and give us a chance to talk about her drawing.


On Saturday morning, we decide to study for exams. So I drive downtown.

          When we're stopped at a red light, I ask, "Why'd you draw it, Jieun?" She doesn't answer, so I look over at her. "The picture?"

          "I know now that I shouldn't have done it--drawn it," she says to the passenger-side window. "But I just had this picture in my head--a picture of what should have happened-what didn't happen because I let you take me to prom when you should have asked him."

          "I asked you to prom," I say. "On purpose."

          "I know you did. And I had a great time." She turns my way and touches my arm. "But, well, I had this fairy tale in my head. So I drew it--it was in my sketchbook. My private sketchbook."

          "But you showed it to Seulgi and the art geeks," I remind her.

          "Yeah," she admits. "But only because it turned out so good."

          It was good. It looked exactly like us--well, us if we were in a comic book.

          "You know what it's like to like someone who doesn't notice you?" she asks shyly.

          Actually, I've been having the opposite problem. Kyungsoo noticed me all right, because I, well, opened my big mouth in the middle of government. But I nod anyway.

          "I wanted her to notice me." She almost chokes on her confession.

          "You wanted Seulgi to notice you?" I whisper.

          She nods. Hiccups. "She's such a good artist. I-I wanted to impress her."

          "And it all backfired?" I ask.

          "She ripped it out. Crumpled it up." Jieun swipes at a tear.

          "Um, yeah," I say, because I'm kind of with Seulgi on this one. "Because your drawing was of me! Kissing Kyungsoo."

          "I know."

          "So it wasn't about you and Seulgi. It was about me. Did you think about that? How I might feel?"

          "Yeah," she says. "I was thinking of you. And how you should get your fairy tale. How you deserve to be happy."

          "No. If you were thinking of me--the real me--if you were, you would have known it was wrong to draw us like that. We aren't some fictional couple you can slash together. We're people. Real people!"

          "I know," she says, wiping another tear. "It was stupid for me to want you to have a happily ever after, even if it was just on paper."

          "Happily ever after?" My voice jumps up an octave. "That's jumping the gun. I'm not even out to Kyungsoo."

          "I know you like him. And face it, you need to do something about it."

          "No. I. Don't!" The light changes, and I press the gas. Hard. Slam it into second.

          Jieun grabs the door handle. "What?" she shouts over the engine as I jam it into third. "You don't think he knows you're gay?"

          The speedometer inches up over the speed limit as I shift into fourth gear. "No," I repeat. "No. No. No."

          But she has a point. Of course he knows. Everyone knows. Sehun, Dasom, Naeun, Taemin, Mr. Kim, Principal Baek, Jieun, Seulgi, Jin. And maybe even Choi Minho.

          "You said you wer