"I don't blame you." I said as I watched her with him. I started walking wherever my feet took me. It was a cold night. I've always loved cold winter nights better, there's something about it that I can relate with. I've been called cold, emotionless, I don't mind anymore, I have accepted it.
"I love you. You're not what others say you are. I love you. You're my weirdo"
Feels like years have passed since I heard that. Truthfully, it's not even been a month. I told you I'm a mess but you insisted. Do people like that? Breaking the broken ones? Or do they think it's too easy to fix someone? Or is it merely because it feels challenging, exciting at first.
"Never tell someone you love them out of fear of losing them, kiddo. I love yous are thrown around a lot these days. If you love someone, do it with all your heart and never ever break them. Find someone who loves you and accepts you, accepts the mess you are. They are not going to make you a better person, nobody is, you are gonna do that yourself when you find the right one. Never hold back. Love.
Seems like yesterday when granny gave me that advice.
I did. I loved you so much. I love you so much, I never expected you to say it back but you did and no words could describe that feeling I got when you did. 
I believed you, my mistake, I don't blame you for breaking me.
I wish you had been honest. I wish you had told me that you don't love me.
But then again I don't blame you, it was my fault. My fault for wasting my first I love you ever on you. Regret. That's what I feel.
Anger. That's what comes after a second of regret. Am I really regretful? I'm not. Loving you might be the worst thing I ever did but it was the best as well.
"Taeyeon ah, you're not worth it, I just I dunno."
Worthless. That's the best word to describe how I am feeling for the past few weeks.
I hope you stay happy, no matter who it is, I hope they make you happy.
Happiness. That's all I ever wanted for you.