OST

 

 

 

 

 

"His name is Minhyuk. And I will always love him."

 

 

 

 

Seolhyun smiled recalling. They sat in the same corner of the coffee shop, the rain outside wasn’t heavy, just drizzle that pleasant to look at. Seolhyun mused, staring at drop by drop of rain that formed a similar blob tear on the window, count them carefully. That day Seolhyun told him about her past, about Minhyuk, her fiancee who snatched away from her the day before her wedding. Jonghyun observed Seolhyun.

 

"I'm sorry on your loss, Seolhyun."

 

"It's okay, Minhyuk will always live here." She touched her chest, where her heart was. Minhyuk was already dead, his heart was no longer beating for Seolhyun as he promised. But Seolhyun’s heart still beating for Minhyuk, hopefully forever.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look at that who's waiting for you."

 

Hyejung smiling and pointing to the front gate of the campus. Some people seem gathering and some students seemed whispering excitedly, staring towards the gate where a figure was there that interested them. It’s Jonghyun. The hedonist prince was standing there, as if unaware that he caused a stir because of his appearence. He was wearing a dark brown cardigan and jeans that seemed fitting wrap around his body, standing, leaning back on his car, a bright red car. His appearance was unusually handsome, especially for the standard on Seolhyun’s campus that filled with nerds and geek students. Jonghyun looked so modern and classy.

 

 

 

"Why is he here?" Seolhyun asked, more to herself.

 

"Did you tell your campus to him?" Hyejung smiled.

 

"Yes he asked, so I told him. But I never thought he would catch me up to campus." Seolhyun frowned.

 

"Maybe Jonghyun decided that he wants to know more about you, not just from the brief meetings at the coffee shop... that .... How many times is it already Seolhyun? I think it's been almost three months you routinely meet in a coffee shop."

 

 

 

 

 

Exactly three months eleven days, Seolhyun muttered to herself. And twice a week they met in a brief afternoon, mostly while accompanied by rain, discuss things, make them closer. Yes, Seolhyun and Jonghyun got closer in line with the frequency of their meetings, but Seolhyun didn’t dare to go any further. In her heart MInhyuk was always there, her ex-boyfriend had taken a permanent place in her heart, and would not be replaced by any man. And although Seolhyun felt comfortable and warm with Jonghyun, she held her hold. Not wanting to step further.

"You don’t want to introduce me to Jonghyun? From his appearance, he is same with what you described Seolhyun, a hedonic prince."

 

"But that hedonic prince really loves reading comics like Naruto and novels of fantasy adventure, come on, I’ll introduce you to him, you'd like him." Seolhyun won Hyejung’s hand, approached Jonghyun. He straightened up when he saw Seolhyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hi." she muttered, smiling sweetly.

 

"Hi." Somehow Seolhyun loss for words. Jeez, what’s happening to her? She only realized when Hyejung nudged her waist with her elbow. "Eh .. why are you here?" Jonghyun shruged.

 

"Just finished class early and we promised to meet in Union this afternoon, I think it would not hurt me to pick you up first."

 

"Oh .." Seolhyun hesitated and turned toward Hyejung.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This ... this is my friend Hyejung." Jonghyun looked at Hyejung then smiled sweetly and held out his hand.

 

"Hi Hyejung, Seolhyun often talks about you."

 

"Really? I hope she told you good things." Hyejung welcomed Jonghyun’s hand and smiled. Jonghyun laughed.

 

"Mostly." Hyejung accidentally glanced at her watch.

 

"Oh well, I have to immediately go home, otherwise my mom will look for me, I'll see you tomorrow Seolhyun. Bye Jonghyun."

 

"Don’t you want to join with us?" Jonghyun offered, make Hyejung shook her head.

 

"No thanks Jonghyun. I brought a motorcycle." And Hyejung walked away, leaving Seolhyun standing alone, face to face with Jonghyun.

 

 

 

 

"I hope you're not mad at me to pick you up on this campus." Seolhyun rolled her eyes, found several pairs of eyes looked at her curiously and Jonghyun.

 

"No, but really, you're really an attention maker in here. Can we go from here?" Seolhyun smiled.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I feel so comfortable with you." Jonghyun looked at Seolhyun gently, then took a breath. "I’m always happy when I’m with you." Seolhyun sighed.

 

 

I’m always happy when I’m with you... it's the same sentence she said to Minhyuk.

 

 

 

 

 

"Thank you Jonghyun. I hope we can be friends like this forever. I also love spending time with you." Jonghyun’s face slightly pale, he then smiled sadly.

 

"Just as a friend. Is that what you want?"

 

"Yes. You know I can’t be more than that." Seolhyun smiled, trying to sound steady.

 

"Because of Minhyuk?"

 

"Please Jonghyun."

 

"But it’s true, right? Because of Minhyuk? I see that time when you told me about the tragedy before your wedding. Your eyes were empty, as if you had run out of tears... and I'm aware, he hasn’t died for you."

 

"He didn’t die for me. Minhyuk will always be here." Seolhyun pointed to her chest, holding back her tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And then how are you going to continue your life? Are you going to act like this forever? Trying to keep the memories of Minhyuk in your heart, while the world goes on, leaving you crying over your dead lover?"

 

"Stop."

 

"No. You should be aware Seolhyun, Minhyuk is already dead. Yes, you love him. So what? Minhyuk’s life had stopped, but yours continues, inevitably you have to live it, you have to move on."

 

"You don’t have the right to set my life. I want to stay like this, live with memories of Minhyuk."

 

"I don’t have the right, who am I anyway. But you should know, I love you Seolhyun." Jonghyun smiled softly.

 

"No.”

 

“Yes! I love you!" Jonghyun voice slightly raised, making some visitors who were enjoying coffee turned toward them curiously. "And my heart is hurt to see you like this. My heart is really hurt to see you never recovered from the grief."

 

"Enough. I don’t want to hear anymore. I thought you understand, but seems like no one does." Seolhyun rose and wiped her tears.

 

 

 

 

 

"Seolhyun-ah…" Jonghyun tried to call, but Seolhyun already didn’t want to hear. She ran away while holding back her tears. And the rain fell as if to accompany her crying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So you will keep being childish and avoid Jonghyun?" Hyejung put her hands on hips, staring Seolhyun who was so grim, sat hugging her knees in the corner of the bed.

 

"He was mean, asking me to forget Minhyuk."

 

"He is not mean. He just wants you to move on and enjoy your life."

 

"And forgetting Minhyuk?"

 

"You don’t have to forget him. You can still keep memories of him in your heart. But you should move on, Seolhyun."

 

"You sound like Jonghyun, I suspect you both are plotting." Hyejung laughed.

 

"Listen my pretty friend, we both love you. And because we love you we think the same way. I bet if Minhyuk is here, he also will be thinking the same with us." Seolhyun stunned, permeated Hyejung’s words in silence.  

 

 

 

At that time they were choosing a ring and engrave each name in the ring. Seolhyun was very happy and looked Minhyuk in a smile.

"If we’re married and you put this ring on my fingers, I'll wear this ring forever." Minhyuk, as always staring Seolhyun gently.

 

"Me too, Seolhyun. This ring is a sign that I tied my heart to you."

 

"We will always be like this right Minhyuk oppa?"

 

"Why do you ask that?"

 

"Because this happiness feels too perfect. Sometimes I’m afraid it will be taken away from me." Minhyuk laughed, embracing Seolhyun into his arms.

 

"No one knows God’s will. The important thing is we’re grateful for this moment, when you and I become. Isn’t that enough?"

 

"Yes it’s enough. But if later I died first, you should remove that ring and get married again." Minhyuk laughed.

 

"Don’t think of absurd things. If I died first? Will you marry again?" Seolhyun immediately shook her head vigorously hear Minhyuk’s question.

 

"No! I would be a widow forever." Minhyuk heaved Seolhyun into his arms and kissed her forehead gently. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don’t let memories hinder your steps to move on, baby. I would be sad if it turns out I die first and you close your heart for someone else. When my life stopped and your life continues, you have to find happiness in front of your eyes. Promise me."

 

"No way. After all you wouldn’t die first, no one will die. Can we talk about happy things instead?" Minhyuk chuckled, holding Seolhyun’s hand happily leave the ring shop.

 

 

 

 

When awakened, Seolhyun’s face was full of tears. That dream ... Why did dream about that conversations appear now? Did Minhyuk want to convey a message to her? About Jonghyun? Seolhyun closed her eyes again, confused as hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun was there in his chair usual, this time the man didn’t read any book, just a cup of coffee that seemed untouched on his desk and the man was being pondered, staring at the heavy rains that hit windows. Looking sad. He should reveal everything to Seolhyun from scratch. Everything. The fact, which he had been hidden from Seolhyun. About his heart, that pounding only for Seolhyun, his heart that only love Seolhyun. Wholeheartedly. Jonghyun's eyes then closed remembering his past. 

 

 

 

A year ago... 

 

 

"Your mom told me they get a heart donor for you. Finally oppa.."

Juniel embraced Jonghyun happily. Jonghyun smiled at his fiancee. His pretty Juniel. That girl was his childhood friend who later became his fiancee. Juniel always faithfully waiting for him, even though their future was uncertain, although Jonghyun had to commute into the hospital because of his condition. Jonghyun even diagnosed that he won’t be able to live a long llife if he didn’t immediately get a heart donor.

 

"Thank God Juniel... I’m... I'm happy. At least if the operation is successful, I could be the perfect man for you."

 

"This operation will certainly succeeded. And what do you talk about perfect man? Whether you're healthy or not, you're a perfect lover for me."

 

"But I'm afraid. I’m scared, what if when the surgery is running, it turns out that heart doesn’t suit me?"

 

"That heart suits you, they've done all the necessary tests."

 

"What if I got complication and in the end I would still die on the operating table?"

 

"Oppa." Juniel interrupted, reminding. "Life and death are on God's hands. God must has seen how much you wanted to live. How much I keep you alive. The surgery would succeed, believe me." Juniel said with a gentle kiss on Jonghyun forehead. Jonghyun smiled and clutching Juniel fingers gently.

 

"Thank you baby, you know, I always love you."

 

"Me too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The surgery was successful, that new heart fit perfectly in his chest cavity. Jonghyun could feel the strong beats, full of vitality, pumping his blood through his body, making him feel stronger. That afternoon Jonghyun awakened again, because of a dream, a dream that had always plagued him since his surgery, the dream of a girl, with a ring and a wedding dress that was crying. Crying uncontrollably.

 

"Oppa, did you get nightmare?"

Juniel grasping his fingers. Jonghyun tried to focus his eyes and found Juniel’s beautiful face, staring at him anxiously. He then winced. Juniel was still the same, still beautiful, still faithful, still love him wholeheartedly. But why can’t he feel the same? His heart wasn’t pounding lovingly when looking at Juniel, it didn’t feel same  anymore, it’s almost felt bland, almost like... Jonghyun didn’t love Juniel anymore. But how could that be? Jonghyun shouldn’t change like this, nothing had changed him, except... his heart. Yes. Though it couldn’t be explained logically, his new heart wasn’t pounding for Juniel. His heart was just pounding for a woman, the woman who was always there in his dream.

 

 

"Did you dream of that woman again? Am I... Am I going to lose you, oppa?" Juniel’s voice was trembling and cried when Jonghyun turned away not answering her question. Silence. Even Jonghyun himself wasn’t able to explain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Actually it’s not recommended for the patient to know where the donor came from." Dr. Lee, Jonghyun’s bestfriend, a heart specialist doctor that taking care of Jonghyun frowned while reading a file in his hands. "But because the donor's own family didn’t ask us to keep it as a secret, I guess you don’t break the rules to ask."

 

"Who donate this heart to me, Jungshin?"

 

"Why are you so curious Jonghyun? Wouldn't it be better if you don't know? So you can live your life well without feeling guilty, because I knew that heart is very healthy and fits you." Jonghyun massaged the bridge of his nose, feeling dizziness in his head. The question had been haunting him a lot and his dreams that always present every night, to the extent that Jonghyun felt was real.

 

"I need to know for my own reason." His friend sighed.

 

"This has nothing to do with you canceling your engagement with Juniel right? You make that good girl so sad." Jonghyun grimace, feeling so guilty.

 

"I'm very sorry to do it, I’m also sad. But Juniel deserved a man who loves her."

 

"And you don’t? As far as I see, you love her so much."

 

"Not anymore. Whether you believe it or not, this heart loves another woman." Jonghyun pointed to his chest. Jungshin sighed, obviously he didn’t believe Jonghyun’s words. He was a doctor and medically, it’s impossible if a donor heart brought memories of previous owner. How could it be? But Jungshin didn’t want to confront Jonghyun, he wasn’t fully recovered from the surgery and he hopes this information could eliminate Jonghyun disturbing dreams every night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That heart came from a man named Minhyuk."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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sorry just update! been so busy T_T