My name is Hwang Sonna. I was born in a reputable family. My father is a successful businessman and my mother also came from a wealthy family. My older brother, Hwang In-Sung is still studying at the college. His age now is only 24, but he already has the title ‘doctorate’ in front of his name. My older sister’s name is Hwang Shinna. She owns a Wedding Organizer business at the age of 22. Shinna is already married and lives with her husband in the States. In sum, all members of my family are great and successful people.

Except me…

I am the youngest of them. Being the most spoiled in my childhood because my parents had great expectations for me equal their success. But in fact, I couldn’t be like what they hoped. I don’t have a genius brain like In Sung-oppa, nor creative and intelligent like Shinna-eonni. I'm just myself. Hwang Sonna who never reach rank during schooltime, only works in a small office and… oh yes, as it is not complete yet, I am a free offender and as the result, now I’m pregnant, and the person who did this to me doesn’t even recognize his own child, his flesh and blood!

I’m so sure that my parents wouldn’t hesitate to remove my name from our family.

And… this is my story.

***

-Sonna's POV-

Pain, sadness and downfall. I’ve felt them all, but the truth that I have to accept, is more pathetic than all of it fused.

Today, is the worst day of my life…

I’m just a girl in my early nineteens, and I was so stupid to surrender my ity to a man who doesn’t even deserve it. Now, I only can let those tears flow down, but everything has already happened. How much I ever regret, it’s useless. I’m still so young but I’m already pregnant, and without I realised. My pregnancy has already entered 5 months. I don’t know anything at that time although I didn’t get my menstruation for 2 months sequent. I just thought it happened because I was stressed of my job. Entering the third month, I began to feel nauseous and it was just getting more severe the next weeks, and again, the stupid me just taking drugs because I thought I only suffer stomach ache. Now I hope that those drugs didn’t give any effects to my womb. Hopefully the baby is fine.

On the fourth month I was getting suspicious. My weight keeps gaining continuously, and I always felt like desire to eat certain food. That desire was very strong. Just now I find out that I've been craving. In the end I braved myself to buy a test pack at the nearest pharmacy and yes… the biggest fear in my life just became reality.

I am pregnant.

Suddenly I felt like everything became dark. I couldn’t think for a moment. My eyes couldn’t stop to look at the red lines on my test pack. I am pregnant! There is someone in my body, to maturate and grow with me. It is inside of me. Became one. I don’t know, but at the moment I felt upset, sad, resentment also regret. I just can’t describe it. But there is a feeling that welled up in the deepest corner of my heart.

Happiness.

I’m happy. I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a child. I’m will be a mother.

From that time, I decided to see a doctor to get examined, and how surprised I was when I was told that I have been pregnant for 5 months! How couldn’t I even realise? Fortunately, the doctor said that the condition of my baby was fine. I could also see it’s body shape clearly from the ultrasound screen. I’m so proud and grateful that my baby could survive through the hard months of pregnancy while I even didn’t know about it’s existence. But I know that my baby is healthy and strong.

From this day, I still have to wait 4 months before my little angel would see the world with all it’s perfection. I want to hug that tiny body and kiss it’s soft forehead. Warm tears filled up my, and a compassion emotion becoma tight in my chest while I fully realized that I’m going to be a mother.

***

At home, I quickly run into my sleep room to hide several things I just bought which were a book about pregnancy and special milk for pregnant women. I know it’s already too late to consume it but at least I will try to fulfill my child’s nutrition.

But sadly, those inestimable happiness which I just felt vanished like being crashed by a wave. A hard slap landed on my cheek as my foot stepped into the living room.

“Ungodly child! How could you do this to us?! You’re  shameless! See what you've done!”

My mother could only sat weakly while crying, and I saw I testpack with two red stripes on it in front of her. Just at one time, I understood everything what’s happening here. That’s the testpack that I used this morning. So, it means that they all already knew it. My dad, mom, and older brother. They all already knew that I’m pregnant.

That was the moment when my nightmare begun.

I’m not just pregnant. I’m pregnant without any husband. There no marriage bond between me and the man who plants his cell in my womb. I got pregnant without marriage.

"How could this happen, Sonna?"

I looked at her sad face. Dissapointed was expressed in every inch of her face but I could still see her sincere smile. She smiled like she wasn’t disgusted with someone who has done who has done the forbidden act, a person who has committed adultery. And that person is her own daughter. I can’t imagine how dissappointed my mother felt. But even though she’s upset with me, how could that smile still remains while she’s facing me? Does she still love me? Could she forgive my severe sin?

“Nana, please tell me. How could this all happen?”

I couldn’t hold my tears. Nana was the way she used to call me when I was small, and she still uses it until this day.

“I Don’t know mom. I’m sorry…”

She sighed

“But you know who the father is?”

I didn’t answer which made my mom continues her question.

“Do I know him?”

Immediately, I shook my head.

“Then who did this to you, Sonna?”

“My… boyfriend…” I answered hesitate.

“Then marry him, Nana. You have to be responsible for what you two have done. Tell your boyfriend to come here tommorow, introduce him to me. I will call your sister to manage the marriage immediately.”

“No mom… I can’t!”

“Hwang Sonna, what are you talking about?!”

“That guy has already married, mom!” I shouted with a painfull tone in my voice.

“Oh my… Oh my…” She massaged her fontanelle. “My daughter… why? Why Lord?”

After that, none of us said anything. We were both drowned into our own tears.

I’m sure God will curse me for making the person who give me birth crying like this.

***

The following day, my father entered my room while throwing various objects to me. I could only lay my head down and finally saw the form of those objects. Those object were abortion medication.

“Take it all. Get rid of the baby! You’ve ashamed this family! Abort it or I don’t want to see you anymore!”

The door of my room has been closed violently. I couldn’t longer hold back the tears. On that day, I let it all out. I cried crazily, screamed, and shatter some items. I don’t know how to live with this situation. It’s too heavy for me!

I think I had lost my mind when I took all those drugs. I didn’t remember whether I drank it or not because the only thing I know is that I woke up in a hospital bed the next morning. I had a uterine bleeding and I think that's a sign that my father wish has fulfilled. My baby... my child... my little angel...

has gone…

***

“If she opens her eyes later, please don’t impose her first thoughts. Her condition is still weak and needs time to calm down."

"Well, thank you." Hwang In-Sung bowed to the doctor who had saved her sister's life. Sonna is now out of her critical period although she’s still unconscious. In-Sung glared towards the people who stand not far away from him. His mother was crying while holding Sonna’s hand and his father was at the end of the room. He looking outside from the hospital window. That man must have regretted his actions which might kill his own daughter. Sonna already unpacked the drugs, she even did drink half of it before finally losing consciousness. Fortunately, she threw up those medicines so the bleeding wasn’t caused by the abortion drugs, it was because Sonna felt so depressed. The doctors even didn’t say that her sister was under stress, they said that she was depressed. In Sung eyes roam around the room again, he saw a woman busy calling and discuss something. That woman name is Hwang Shinna, Sonna’s older sister and also In-Sung’s sibling.

She just arrived from America and is now taking care of Sonna’s wedding. Shinna wants that all the preparation for the wedding is ready if Sonna opens her eyes. Everything has already been set up by Shinna. That woman always take actions so quickly at this kind of situation. The wedding will be held 7 days from now. Next week, Hwang Sonna, his little sister would enounce her sacred wedding vows.

“Okay, I have reserved the wedding hall. We are lucky, mostly those buildings are always full. After this we only have to look for Sonna’s wedding dress.”

In Sung just nodded as a respond. His eyes also catched another man in this room. He looked at that person from top to bottom. In Sung doesn’t know him, but Shinna said that he was a close friend of Sonna when they were small.

And that friend will be the future husband of his pregnant sister!

"Hey! Hey! Sonna is waking up." Their mother said when she felt movement from her daughter's body. In Sung and Shinna quickly approached. They saw Sonna’s eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the bright light around it. Sonna’s father turned his body, but he was not able to come closer. He felt like he couldn’t walk properly.

“Nana… how do you feel?”

Sonna’s mother was so worried when she saw that her daughter only opened her eyes but didn’t do anything else after it. Her view was like empty.

“In-Sung! Call the doctor!” Shinna told In-Sung who immediately pushed the button to call a doctor many times impatiently. It doesn’t took a long time for the medical team to reach Sonna’s inpatient room. They started to check the patient’s condition right away because everybody feared that her conditions dropped again after being conscious and rememberes all the hard times she passed.

The tension in the room increased while In Sung, Shinna, and her parents were asked to wait outside. Fright began to grow in their hearts imagining Sonna face already covered in a white cloth as they re-entered the room.

Minutes by minuets passed. The family didn’t stop praying. They begged for the safety of their daughter and sister.

The long-awaited moment finally happened. A man with a white long coat came out of the room.

“The patient is in stabilized condition now but still has to conform herself.”

All the family members were so relieved and thanks God who still allowed Sonna to breathe in this world.

"All right, doctor. Thankyou so much. "

Sonna’s mother wiped her tears away while getting back in the room. She directly hugged her little daughter whose still lying in bed.

“Mom… I’m so sorry... please forgive me…” Whispered Sonna softly in her mother’s ear.

“No Nana. You’re not wrong. It’s okay, just forget about it.”

Hwang Sonna looked at her in disbelief.

“But, mom… I…”

“Ssstt…” Shinna put her finger at her youngest sister lips.

"Do not overwhelm yourself right now. You'd better rest first and we will talk about everything tomorrow, okay. "Added In Sung.

Sonna just kept silent, her eyes were staring at her father with very guilty feeling.

"Forget everything dear." Sonna’s father also hold her hand which was free from the infusion. "Please calm down now, we have finished it all for you."

That girl shocked after hearing her father’s words. Finished it all? What have they finished? Is it about the baby? Where is her little angel now? Shall  it still feeling the warmth Sonna’s womb? Or had it already been taken to heaven, in the lap of the Almighty?

Thousands of questions were spinning in her head but she was unable to voice them. Drowsiness suddenly attacked her, the effect of medicine’s that the doctor injected. But of the number of drugs with high doses that were given to Sonna, she was able to conclude a case. Pregnant women may not be allowed to consume that much drugs because it will affect the fetus.

So yes. It seems that her little angel doesn’t exist in the world anymore.

-To Be Continued-