Oh, today is Sept 5!

           It’s been 16 years since I knew him. He’s a good friend and a great brother to me. Today, I visited his grave to pay respect. “How are you today, chingoo? I come today especially to celebrate the day the first time we met each other 16 years ago. Do you remember?” We were seven years old at that time, very innocent and vulnerable. I remember like it was just yesterday. The day that we become chingoo is the day when I got bullied. I remember you ran to me, you shouted ‘Stop!’ to them (the bullies) but unfortunately it doesn’t work and we end up getting beat up even worse. It’s funny, after we got beat up; we still made time to eat patbingsoo at the store (lol!) I told you that I was mad and plan to get revenge on them, but you calmly tell me “No, don’t keep a revenge on them, maybe they beat us up, but look at the bright side, at least we didn’t run right?” I don’t understand you, but after hearing those words, I suddenly become relief. We just met, but I felt like we are meant to be friends. “My grandma was from Thailand, she’s the one who gave me the name Nickhun.” My chingoo, Nickhun, my name is Taeckyeon.

           Chingoo-ya, I’ve been meaning to say this word to you for a long time. I am sorry chingoo, mianhe. I knew I gave you a lot of bad influence while we were friends. Your parents were worried about you, I knew it, but I did not stop you from doing bad stuff. Truthfully, I was jealous of you. Even though, our life is the same, at least your parents are always there when you need them. I am ashamed of my dad. I notice you were watching me when my dad punch me and threw me out of the house. I can’t lift my head and look at you at that condition so I ran as far as I can. But the longer I go, the faster you catch up to me. You said your instinct always right. We became friends until high school. Every worry, secret, I told you. I don’t keep anything when I’m with you but there is one thing that I’m good at hiding.

       I had a crush. I had a crush on your sister. Yes, I hid it, but not because I’m afraid to tell you, it’s just, my condition is getting worse. The loan shark kept storming at my house; I kept getting beating up by them and my father. In the end I had to move and quit school to make money to pay for the debt. My dad ran away and leaves me alone. Every week, the loan shark will come to collect their money, and it was frustrating. It’s been a year since I move from my home. Chingoo-ya, do you know how much I have to endure this stress?

       One day, I was surprised by your visit. “Annyeong” you greet me with that warm smile. We went for a drink, and get off all my tension from my chest. You don’t know how relief I am at that time. “When will you be fine? You been paying you dads debt, he should be the one who’s responsible for it, not you.” You asked me. “ Ahh, it’s the same, everywhere you go, they still recognize me as his son, I can’t run away” I explained. “ Ya, all you need is a little encouragement and bravery, I want to see you happy, especially after you became the punching bag to that old man!” At that time, I felt like there was a shiny crystal in my eyes. I was touched by your concern.

       The next few days were hard for me. The loan shark kept increasing their debt on me, every week turn into every day. I was so desperate at that time. If I didn’t pay the debt, my life will be in danger, if I pay the debt, I will be hungry. Even if I work multiple of job, I can’t settle that increasing debt. I was tired. My mind can’t think straight, all I ever think is money, how to get money easily.

       In the end, I robbed a shop with couples of my friend, but faith had spoken, we were caught in the act. My head is full of stress, ottoke? How should I pay my debt now? The villagers gave us to the police and I was sentence for 3 years in jail for attempted robbery. I thought for the next three years, they won’t be anyone asking me for a debt, but my thought was wrong, totally wrong! My worst nightmare slowly coming true, I am outnumbered by the loan shark kids in the prison. “Ya! You think you are safe in here? Our boss just call us and he said you still owes him money. ottoke?.. Don’t worry, you can pay your debt here… We will collect it on behalf of our boss. HAHAHAH…” It was no laughing matter to me, everyday I’d got into trouble, fighting, drug –dealing, and more fighting. It was all for only one reason, that is money.

       Sept 5, a year after I’ve been prison, you came to visit me. “Annyeong, how are you?” you asked bluntly. To tell you the truth, I was quite ashamed of myself “ohh, annyeong, I’m doing just fine, why are you here?” I replied. “Ya, today is Sept 5..”. “What about Sept 5?” I quickly cut your conversation. “As your close friend, I think today is a special day to both of us… don’t you know?” I shook my head. “Ya, sept 5 is our anniversary…” “huh?”. “It’s been 11 years since we’ve been friend, today is our anniversary!” . I was stump by your action. “ I came here to tell you that, Taekyeon-ah, I knew you’ve been in tough condition, I wish I can help you as many as I can, my part time job can’t pay your debt, but I guess I can work even harder to help you..” “Nickhun-ah, why did you help me? You shouldn’t involve yourself!” Yes, my heart is full of concern. “You’re my close friend, the one who I can rely everyday for the rest of my life, I want you to know that even if you are in the prison, even if you are a convict, I will still be your friend.” You replied. It was a very touching moment for me. I smile all the way back to my prison, I know now that I’m not walking alone in this path, there is someone who kept me motivated and pump, and he is Nickhun. My best friend.

       A couple years have passed, every month you came to visit me, you always told me that the debt almost done. You jokingly told me you just need to only pay 100 won to settle all the debt. I laughed, because every month you will repeat the same thing over and over again. On the day that I’m going to be free, the loan shark kids came to visit me in my bunk. “Ya, you little rascal, you had a man who settles the debt for you out there don’t you, how sneaky….”His voice sounded somewhat threatening me. “So? Isn’t the debt settled yet?” I asked him. He nodded “it seems like you’re kid did a good job settling the debt eyh? Too bad his life can’t settle them all at once..” My eyes become wide, I am boiling inside, I am angry “ What have you done to my friend!!?” I snatched his collar and pull him up. I couldn’t stand my anger anymore. “Patience son, you will know when you get out from this prison, maybe in a couple of hours. Bwahahaha !” he laughed.

       I slowly walk out of my bunker, today, I’m a free man. The police took me in front of the counter. “Here’s your stuff sir, your wallet, notepad, and key.” I took them and walk to the front door hoping my friend will be there for me. “Don’t worry; on the day you get out of the prison, I’ll be the first one to greet you!” Those word, it kept playing in my head over and over again. I waited for you to come. ‘ Why aren’t you coming?’ my heart whisper. Suddenly I saw someone similar, I knew her, she’s Kim Nana Nickhun sister. She came running toward me and stop when she reached the front door. “Where’s Nickhun?” I asked her. Her eyes is full of tears, her hand are sweating… “Oppa just passed away..” She told me. I lost every strength in my body, I kneel in front of his sister, my man tears drop like a waterfall. “When…when did he passed away?” I asked her. “Just this morning..the police found him lying around at the street near you’re house. He was brutally beat up..” this time she cried together with me.

       I gathered the strength I had lost a few years ago, I asked my other friends to help me settle this problem, whatever happened, it happened for a reason, and I’m giving them a reason to settle it now. We storm the loan shark place. One by one were beat up by us, I was determined, if I get imprisoned by this, at least I know I do it for the sake of friendship. “Hahaha, what are you doing now kid? Don’t you know you can’t be us?” I was mad by that statement, I knew I can do it, for the sake of Nickhun and Nana, I would do everything to make it better. The number of people slowly decreasing. Now, there’s only me and their boss. We fight knife by knife, my left ear lobe was cut, I had an injury to my armed, and he even stabbed me in my thigh. After a few minutes, I started losing my strength, ‘This is it, I’m going to die with him’ my heart spoke. But something triggered my mind ‘all you need is a little encouragement and bravery’. I got up on my feet, gathered all my strength again and charge to the boss, stabbing him at his heart. He tried to endure the pain. “Die! You piece of junk, die! You have taken what is precious to me and his family; you should die a long time ago!” I shouted to his face. He smiled at me and whisper “hehe, even if I die, do you think you can get your friend back? He’a a gonner.” The salty tears that mix with the blood drop like waterfall. The loan shark boss is now dead.

       I ran away from that place, I ran as fast as I can to the hospital. Everybody was looking at me ‘let them be’ my heart shout. I just want to see my friend. “There is someone name Nickhun here, where did they place him?” I asked the counter nurse. “He is on the third floor, in the morgue room” she replied. I took the lift and ran toward the morgue room; there he is lying on the cold table. I slowly walk up to him “Chingoo-ya, wake up, I killed the the loan shark just now” Even though I knew he was dead, I want him to know that I had gathered my strength to kill them for him. “Nickh…” something stuck in my throat, I kneel beside the table. “Mianhe for bringing you into this mess, mianhe!” I hold his hand, it was cold, I cried as much as I can.

       Outside of the morgue room, Nana was waiting for me, I couldn’t see her very clearly but I know she’s sad. Her tears told them all. We sat outside of the hospital. “You’re brother was a good friend of mine…” I told her. “ I know, and he will always be your best friend. Here, this is for you” she hand me a note that written my name on it. “What is this?” I asked her. “My brother wrote this, he said to give to you after you are out of the jail.” She explained. I opened the letter immediately. It was written

       “ Chingoo-ya, mianhe I can’t pick you up today, I am a little busy working to pay your debt here. I hope you can be a better man when you are out from there, as for your debt, you don’t have to worry, I only have to pay them 100 won to settle them all. I sent my sister to pick you up, ya, why don’t you spend some time with her, go for a date. I know you liked her since middle school. Maybe you didn’t tell me, but I always knew. Since you are out, let’s celebrate it tonight at my house. I want to see you become a better man in your life, get married, have a kids, and even buy a house. Till then, see you tonight”

       The tears slowly dropping one by one onto the ground. “Oppa works everyday for the whole year to pay your debt” explain Nana. I am determined ‘ I will be a better man, I will make you proud my chingoo.’ 

3 years later

       I am married to Nana, I have a child and we live in a pretty sturdy house. It is hard at first but I am slowly adapting to it. I work as a farmer and I make money every year. Thank you chingoo because you gave me strength to keep me moving. I will take care of your sister and your entire family. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Rest In Peace my dear friend.