”Happy birthday Taehyun!”

Everyone claps, then raise their glasses. Everyone as the other four of them: Seunghoon by the piano, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and his glass already almost empty. Jinwoo smiles from his seat at the table, a half-eaten cupcake standing deserted on his plate where he left it for who knows how many hours ago. Minho is sitting on the couch as always, slowly moving his hand to stir around the champagne in his glass. Seungyoon has taken his spot on the floor, his guitar that he played on earlier, discarded and ignored on the floor next to him. And finally there is Taehyun, the birthday boy, standing by the window, looking at what they believe is the shining lights that make up Seoul all around them.

Instead he is looking at his own reflection, carefully observing as he pulls his lips up into a smile, checking to see if he looks as happy as is to be expected of him. How much had it not taken to finally gather all five of them again? Everyone is busy with their own worries and their own problems. And yet Jinwoo has done his very best to make sure that they are all there for his birthday. He should be happy.

He should.

Taehyun finally turns around to face them all, puts on his brightest smile and raises his glass to them. The words of thanks he has prepared dies on his lips at the sight of all of them, so the least he can do is smile.

“You could at least try.”

It is Minho, his dark and characteristic voice cutting the silence like a knife. Everyone reacts to it, all in their own way, all as is expected of them, Taehyun thinks. Seunghoon remains quiet, just run his fingers over the keys of the piano without even pressing them. Seungyoon remains quiet on the floor, and Jinwoo stands up and glares at Minho.

“Do you have to put it like that? We are all trying. Or not trying at all, if you wish!” he protests as his big, dark eyes takes in the sight of the room. Everything is a mess, the balloons are in a disarray, empty bottles and glasses placed on most surfaces in the room and the birthday cake made up of cupcakes looks a bit like it had been dropped and then picked up again. Was this really what it took to make them all speak to each other and try to act as friends again?

“Hyung, don’t…” Seunghoon finally speaks, and they all look at him. He smiled the most out of all of them, and now none of them can honestly say they have seen his smile in forever. However long forever really was. “We all knew what we were going to when we came tonight. We all know what is going to hap-…”

“It’s not!” This time it is Seungyoon that speaks, but none of them even look at him. He claws a bit for an unopened can of beer and pulls it to him. “It’s not happening. This isn’t a dance of death, it is a dance of life, stop talking about this as if it really is the end!” It has been hard for them all to look at the former leader after it happened, after the announcement. Minho even once pointed out how he was stuck in the past, unable to come back  (to which Jinwoo had calmly said that they should just let him).

They are all quiet again and Taehyun turns back towards the window. Only this time he looks past his own reflection towards the silhouette that has been ever growing on the horizon. It is pressing on all of them. Or is it all in his head? He looks back at his face again. That faint smile is still there, but his eyes are not even trying. Just like Minho said. He always was able to read them all, as if they are all a piece of art he has cleverly put together. You would think their colours were too blurred and faded for him to still be able to do it.

“This is a joke. We knew this wouldn’t work.”

And  then Seungyoon leaves. The only traces of him are his guitar and the little pile of curled up beer cans on the floor. For him the shock was still too fresh, his dreams were too big. To mention just a few of his problems.

Minho is the next to leave, and none of them are surprised. Seunghoon is even relieved to see the other go, and feels as if a burden is taken off of his shoulders. Was it really that hard for them to see each other again?

It feels like a repeat of the past to see them leave, and Taehyun feels the old weights starting to pull him down. If he is not careful, they might pull him out of the window and down, down, all the way down. The feeling is eerie and the room spins in and out of focus. Is he okay, someone asks. Does he want to sit down? No to all questions.

No, he is not okay.

--

As soon as he has left the room the sound of shattered glass rings in the hallway, but he does not stop. Even if the sounds are dulled by his own mind, he draws the wild guess that it was Seunghoon who finally exploded. Only Jinwoo knows and is allowed to see his real feelings, an unwritten rule.

 It is of no matter. Nothing is.

The door to his room closes safely behind him and he stares dully at the big bouquet of roses someone has left on the nightstand. Only one person would do such a thing. Only one person would try to reach out even if it does not work.

It does not work at all, and the sight is starting to look more repulsive than beautiful. Pink petals fills the air with a sickening scent, so sickening that something turns in Taehyun’s stomach and he runs off to the bathroom to empty it.

What is the point?

He stumbles, the weights are pulling at him once again, but he is determined. After an almost desperate hunt through the desk drawer, Taehyun pulls out a long, golden pair of scissors. And one by one the big heads of the flowers fall to the floor, something like a silent scream passing through them as they go. What is the point in even picking them in the first place when they are all going to die? They should just have been left to wither, not dry out in a vase for someone’s entertainment.

What is the point of anything at all?

The scissors fall from his hands, and with a sudden gush of anger he picks up the vase and throws it at the wall. Naturally it shatters, flower stems without heads, water and glass flies everywhere. Sound seems somewhat muted, the scene as if in slow motion. Only when strong arms pull him back Taehyun can somewhat take a step back to reality.

What was that?

“…are you doing?”

The arms belong to a body, to a person. And said person is speaking.

“What are you doing, Taehyun?!”

He is blinking like an owl, trying to focus on a blurry face, and slowly he makes out the familiar features. Minho. Of course it is Minho. Who else would come to his side when everything was falling down?

“It was disgusting.”

“Taehyun, it was a gift.”

They stare at each other in silence. Taehyun’s eyes are almost dull as he watches. As if he is looking at something far away? Minho on the other hand is glaring, looking ready to throw a punch or give a long lecture. This is not the first time something like this happens. Probably not the last either.

“Forget it…” Minho mumbles, runs a hand down his face and turns towards the window. However many times he has tried to understand Taehyun, he just cannot. There is a barrier there, keeping them from each other and making sure they always end up having a hard time. “Sometimes… sometimes I really hate you, do you know that?”

Taehyun knows. But he is so distant it feels like Minho won’t even hear him if he answers. After everything they’ve been through, how can Minho not hate him? In some ways they probably hate each other just as much. Still they see each other, and still they give what support they can, even if it isn’t much.

--

Back in the living room, Seunghoon and Jinwoo are still there. Without even looking they can tell how the other feels. And without even looking it is obvious that they both understand. That they both knew just what it took to get them all here, and how important it was for everyone, even if they won’t say it.

“I thought you said you were like Seungyoon,” Jinwoo says slowly, as he picks up a discarded fork to poke at the half eaten cupcake on his plate. It is better than looking at the Seunghoon.. Looking will cause hurt and make unspoken words burn on his lips again. Things he should say and things he should not say.

“Would I have come if I was?” Seunghoon quietly picks up a balloon, weights it in his hand and then pushes it lightly in direction of his hyung. The balloon silently glides through the air, but cannot really reach all the way. Just like they can never reach all the way.

They both know the answer to that, and they both fall quiet. One man is still sitting by the piano, the other by the table. An almost eerie light cast long shadows in the mess left from what was supposed to have been both a reunion and a birthday party. Now it was neither, and all the others were scattered all around the big house.

“You came.” Jinwoo nods, then looks to Seunghoon and corrects himself: “I’m glad you came.”

“I had to.”

And this they both agree on.

--

Conflicting voices. Or is it more right to say two conflicting voices? It is difficult to define, and Seungyoon has yet to figure it out. Ever since they found out, the other voice has been there, whispering little secrets in his ear. It is difficult to make it out, but whenever he looks at a mirror, he can clearly see the other.

The Visitor looks just like him, but this time he holds his guitar and wears that smile that tends to make Seungyoon feel anxious. For the longest time they just stare at each other, both waiting for one to make the first move. This was one of his many problems, but how could he tell? The Visitor there on the other side of the mirror would whisper little doubts into his ears when he wasn’t careful. And judging by expression, he seemed ready to go at it again.

Go away.

“Like you left the others? You would leave your friends?”

Seungyoon puts his hands on the sides of the sink and leans in towards the mirror. It is difficult to fight it again. He never asked for someone to share his mind with, but his theory was always that he worried too much as the leader and kept too himself too much. The Visitor was a result of his of failure.

What does it matter?

It didn’t matter. There would come a time later.

Temptation to break the mirror and see if the Visitor is somewhere on the other side is tempting, but instead he just leans in over the sink and splashes water in his face, on his neck and head. If this was all a bad, long dream, he would like to wake up from it now.

”But there is no waking up. Only the end.”

Shut up. You don’t know that.

”Oh, but we both do, don’t we? Why fight it?”

You’re the one I am fighting.

Fighting alone was hard,  but they all had their problems, complex relations and issues. Who would not have that after everything? Seungyoon sighs. Wipes his hands on the back of his jeans and walks out in direction of his bedroom. Might be just as well to be there when it happens than anywhere else.

”Didn’t you say you didn’t believe it would happen?”

Even in the hallway the Visitor keeps whispering into his ear. He shudders, looks over his shoulder and then down to the floor.

I won’t. But just in case, I might as well be comfortable.

--

”I never learned to play the piano.”

Seunghoon’s voice is faint from where he sits, head leaned against the grand piano. From across the room, Jinwoo smiles before looking back out the window. Just waiting around his making him restless. This eerie light that is not quite night and not quite day is also making him restless. It feels as if he’s rolled a pare of dices, and even if he thinks he knows the outcome, they just keep rolling and rolling, never stopping to show you the true result.

”I could go ask Taehyun to play?” Jinwoo suggests slowly, eyes fixed on the outside, observing as it all comes closer. They both know Taehyun will not come, even if they ask him, but it is quite a nice idea. Maybe if things were as they once were.

Maybe.

--

Finally he is asleep. Minho stares at Taehyun’s sleeping form from where he is sitting on the sofa. There was once a time when they had been much closer than they were now, when small glances and faint touches had been enough for his heart to beat faster in his chest.  Where had that gone now? Some of it had without doubt disappeared somewhere along the way. The rest of it… the rest of it was what kept him around. How could he leave someone who needed him, even when they did not say it.

”I can’t even fight your demons.”

Just the sound of Minho’s voice and Taehyun stirs on the bed. He breathes a bit faster, his brow wrinkles, only to rather quickly calm down again. Everything is still, only the strange light from outside making shadows dance across the room.  Even when things are strange, it really is here he’d want to be if it really ends.

”Is that why you brought us here, Taehyun? Did you know?”

No answer. Just soft breaths and the slight ruffling of bed sheets as he stirs a bit. It would not even be a surprise if Taehyun knew it all, and that it was the real reason for bringing them all there. He always had his reason, and he would never explain them.

Minho stands up, walks over to the bed and leans down to brush some hair away from Taehyun’s face. He deserved to sleep. Rest what he could. He straightened up, turned to leave, but a hand grabbed onto his arm to hold him there.

”It is coming…” Taehyun mutters quietly and Minho turns to look at him. Those deep, brown eyes are looking at him with the utmost urgency.

”It will probably pass us. Earth will not stop just like that.”

”No, Minho… you don’t understand. The Earth is evil. And after this it will be no more. It won’t save life.”

Minho shrugs, takes Taehyun’s hand and holds it a little tighter. The light is brighter now, and if he looks out of the window he can se it oh so clearly. Taehyun is right: it will not just pass them by.  It is too late now.

”So we are just going to wait?” Minho asks, feeling strange fading from his legs. He said he had admitted it already, but had he?

”Come.”

Taehyun tugs at his arm, pulls him closer and signalizes for him to lie down in bed next to him.  Minho complies and lies down, putting an arm around Taehyun’s waist. Just like he wanted, they are all together, but not.

They are out of time.

---

”Didn’t we come here to be together?”

Seunghoon lifts his head from where he has leaned it against the piano so he can look at Jinwoo. The other is looking more distressed than ever, eyes big and gleaming with a strange light he has never seen there before.

”This is what we are now. Why change it?”

”Why not change it?”

”Hyung, there is no time…”

For a moment they look at each other, one stubborn mind pushing at another. They both think that they are right. But in the end, Jinwoo wins. He always does, even when Seunghoon is determined not to give in.

”There really is no time…” He tries to protest, but wavers. There is no time, but there is no room for discussion either. Without another word Jinwoo takes his hand and pulls him towards Seungyoon's room. How long is there left?

--

Seungyoon stares out the window. In the bright, greenish light, the bed feels like a floating cloud sending him through space.

”Is that where you are going?”

The Visitor looks at him from his reflection in the window glass. He seems restless too, fingers tapping against his guitar, not even able to lie down like Seungyoon is.

Who knows? Space, heaven, hell… whatever you want to call it.

”So you accept that you are really going then?”

They both look out towards the now unavoidable truth. ”What else can I do now?” Seungyoon said out loud, and they look at each other again. For a moment the Visitor seems to fade, then he crawls into bed and leans back. It is strange with a presence that is such a reflection of himself, but at least he isn’t alone when it happens.

"You don't want to be with the others?"

They can take care of themselves now.

Seungyoon turns away, hoping that not seeing the Visitor will make him go away. It never worked in the past, but as he now looks away there is nothing but silence. A long, deep silence that is first breached when the door opens and Jinwoo and Seunghoon stands there, hands extended as if they have been waiting for him. Maybe he has waited for them too? Was that why the Visitor had left?

"Let's go. Let's be together when it happens!"

And no doubt it is happening very soon.

--

The door opens so sudden that Minho jumps up in bed, confused and for a second scared if it was already happening. Next to him, Taehyun stirs too, then sits up and smiles at the three silhouettes in the door.

Once upon a time they started this all together, why not end it together as well?

--

When it finally happens, they have pushed the bed against the wall to face the big window. All five of them lies there, eyes fixed on the outside world. No more words are spoken between them, but their hands are interlocked and a strange air of acceptance has filled the room. Taehyun smiles where he sits in the middle, glad that at least the five of them can face this together. 

Earth was evil, life was fragile and it all would end today. At least they were together again, even at the end of the world.

The light becomes blinding, a strong rush of wind and a rumble sends the windows shattering. It only lasts a moment, and then it is over.

Melancholia has hit the Earth and destroyed life. The dance between life and death is over.

Death wins.