I watched as you strode into the room, I could tell from your expression that you had just woken up. You didn’t bother to throw on a suit or fix your hair. You didn’t bother to flash me a smile or acknowledge my presence with greetings when you saw me. You didn’t bother to please me any longer. You didn’t bother any longer about my existence.

You took a seat directly in front of me and started looking through the menu, as if I was of no importance to you. And so I did the same.

But the more I tried my best to distract myself form the real reason I called you out today, the more I kept thinking about it.

We spent quite some time deciding what we were going to have, and when we finally did, we placed our orders. After which we simply sat there in silence, not even looking at each other. It became so quiet to a point where I simply could not take it any longer, and started laughing at how ridiculous everything was.

I looked up to you as I laughed; your expression was blank. You stared at me for the first time today, even if it was just seconds long. You looked around you to see people staring at us, at me, because of my sudden outburst. Then you furrowed your eyebrows and frowned at me before slightly nodding at everyone who stared – a gesture of apology.

 How come you didn’t notice the tears forming in my eyes? 

You started fiddling with your fingers, and then you played with your utensils. Finally, you drew your phone out from your pocket and started scrolling through it for the rest of the time, until our food came.

I stared at you, the whole time.

How come you didn’t notice my gaze upon you?

You started to dig in; you took bite after bite. I was worried you would choke on your food; at the rate you were going.

I started to dig in too, but it was hard to swallow. Nothing I push down my throat can fill up the emptiness I feel within me at this moment. Nothing can fill this tasteless feeling.  I have so much trouble just eating.

Did you feel the tension in the air? How I haven’t said a single word to you today? How are you eating so well, knowing all of this?

You soon finish, while I’m still hallway through. But I gave up, I couldn’t force anymore down. And so I placed my utensils down, a sign that I was done. I watched as you waited for my hands to reach the table, before you gave me a glance and stood up, wanting to leave.

This was our normal routine - we stopped having dates, it became a tiring and meaningless routine. We would meet, I would be the only one speaking – today was a fine exception – while we ate. After which we would get up, you initiate leaving first, in which I follow behind, and part our ways not long after. 

We would not converse; we would not interact like normal lovers do. This was not love, this was utter ludicrosity.

When you noticed how I did not follow behind as usual, you turned behind to look at me. Finally, you have noticed my presence, even if little.

Your eyes told me to get up, stop wasting time, for you do not wish to spend another dreading moment with me. You do not speak such words, your stare may not even mean such malicious statements, but I know that is how you really feel.

And that’s all that matters, dear.

“Let’s go.” You finally speak to me. I almost laugh. You speak and converse with me, only because you wish to leave.

“Sit, Taekwoon.” I say to you, but I dare not look into your eyes for I fear you may see the tears in them.

No, I am not crying for the sadness, which frequently creeps into me due to your behavior. I cry for what I am about to say, because I want to say it.

You sit down, and I hear your silent groans of frustration and annoyance.

Maybe once you did love me. Maybe once, not so long ago, we were burning with passionate desire for each other. But fires can be put out with the slightest tremble of the wind. Yours, was not strong enough to withstand the cold wind. However, I do not blame you, such things are inevitable.

I understand completely that our love has died.

You stare at me, and for t