They were happy, the happiest ones.

People say that human forever won’t able to predict the future. When you thought that you chose the right choice and walked on the right track, but sometimes everything turns out that you chose the worst choice and the track lead you to hell. Everyone deserves to be happy, but no one knows where their happiness is.

Minseok takes Kyungsoo’s backpack, stuffs the small bag with the boy’s favorite toys, some mini cars and mini size Pororo. Minseok rechecks Kyungsoo suitcase to make sure that he packed enough clothes. And the most important things he won’t forget to bring, Kyungsoo’s blanket – the one he must hold while sleeping – and Pororo plushy. Minseok looks around room, as if he tries to memorize every inch of the room. He stands up and ready to leave with everything he packed before.

Minseok walks slowly. Every steps he took just makes him question his own decision. He stops and turns his self to face the wooden door – his and Luhan’s room. He bites his lower lips, trying to give his self strength.

“Appa...” Kyungsoo’s voice takes him back to reality. He can see his son’s confuse face from the spot he is standing. Kyungsoo slept after finished his lunch so Minseok got time to pack. Minseok glances at the clock at the wall, it is ten minutes to five.

“Soo, I’m here” Minseok waves his hand. Kyungsoo looks around to find his dad, his round eyes wandering, he smiles when he finally finds Minseok. Kyungsoo runs to Minseok, he looks confuse again when he sees two suitcase and his backpack.

”Are we going to somewhere?” Kyungsoo asks. Minseok takes him to his arm and holds him tightly. He doesn’t answer his son’s question, he kisses the boy’s cheeks instead.

“Appa!” Kyungsoo whines because his dad didn’t say anything. Minseok just smiles and stops kissing his cheeks.

“Yes baby, we are going to uncle Jongin’s house”

Kyungsoo looks more confuse. Of course Kyungsoo is confuse, all of sudden Minseok says that they are going to visit his brother’s house in Seoul. Kyungsoo never been there before, he only knew that his uncle lives somewhere far away from Beijing.

“Uncle Jongin’s house? Why?” Kyungsoo asks again. And this question was unthinkable to Minseok, he didn’t think that Kyungsoo will ask it. How could he say that…

“I miss him baby. It has been long time since the last time I saw him. You will come with me, right?” Minseok found a lie to be told. He just can’t tell Kyungsoo the truth now.

“Yeah I will, but how about daddy? He will come with us too, right Appa?” And a lie will be continued with another lie. Minseok just realizes it, he needs to tell another lie to his son.

I’m sorry Soo…

“No baby. Daddy is busy now, so it’s just you and me” Minseok puts Kyungsoo down. He doesn’t want any other questions from his son, which he is going to answer with a lie.

“Let’s wash your face and change your clothes” Minseok says and starts taking off the boy’s clothes.

***

If I told you how sorry I am, would you forgive me?

They are on the plane, it has been thirty minutes since the take-off.  Kyungsoo sleeps soundly with his head on Minseok’s tight. The boy is too tired after nonstop asking Minseok about Jongin and about his daddy. He kept asking why they went to the airport with taxi, why Luhan didn’t took them to the airport and finally Kyungsoo cried when Minseok didn’t answer his question anymore. He kept asking his daddy when he was crying. It was hurt for Minseok.

If only Minseok was braver, he won’t need to go to Seoul, but he just can’t think anything clearly now. He never told anyone, just never knew who was going to be told.

He didn’t regret everything. If he regrets it, he won’t meet Kyungsoo and have the four year old boy in his arms. If only he listened to Jongin, the only family he has and he left him just because Jongin couldn’t accept his decision. He was a fool. No, Minseok still thinks that he is a fool.

Minseok remembers a movie, the lead character has an ability to go back to past so he could fix the mistake he did. Minseok envies that character so much, he really want to fix his biggest mistake. Minseok would listen to Jongin, stayed with him till the time he would say that he tired of Minseok so he would kick him from their house. Minseok shouldn’t doubt his brother.

The Minseok from two years ago never imagined that he would live in hell, the only thing he remembered was he finally met the one. His only one.

MInseok’s hand keeps creasing Kyungsoo’s hair. He doesn’t know what to say if Kyungsoo wakes up and starts asking about Luhan. And he still doesn’t know what to say to Jongin for his sudden visit, it is not just a visit, he might stay with Jongin for a while. Should he tell Jongin the truth?

Everything just makes him dizzy, Minseok tries to close his eyes but his brain doesn’t let him. Kyungsoo’s peaceful face is the only thing keeps his sanity. Minseok looks to his son’s closer, he can’t stop his hand from touching the boy’s black lashes and tiny lips. He wants to hold Kyungsoo in his arms so no one could take him from Minseok.

It’s okay if the whole world hate me, as long as I could hold my sunshine’s hands…

***

Could you let me in, again…

Here they are, in front of Jongin’s apartment door. Minseok is holding Kyungsoo in his arms, the boy is busy with his water bottle. He is still in his silent mode, he refuses to talk to Minseok after waking up from his sleep. He didn’t say a word on their way from the airport to Jongin’s apartment. It hurts Minseok even more.

“Soo baby…” Minseok tries to talk to Kyungsoo again.

Still no response from the boy. Minseok lets out a heavy sigh.

“Should we ring the bell?” Minseok asks Kyungsoo, he tries to meet the boy’s eyes but Kyungsoo’s eyes are focused to the water bottle.

Minseok finally rises his hands, ready to push the bell button. His finger is just millimeters away from the button, and he just needs a simple move.

A whimpering sound stops Minseok’s finger. Minseok looks at the boy in his arm, Kyungsoo is no longer holding his water bottle, his face is on Minseok’s shoulder and Minseok can fell the boy’s tears starts wetting his shirt.

“Soo I’m here, it’s okay” Minseok whispers, trying to comfort the boy. The whimpering is getting louder. Minseok knows that Kyungsoo hate this situation, but he can’t do anything, they already here, in Seoul. It is impossible to go back to Beijing now.

“Baby soo stop! I know you hate me now, but please…” Minseok starts begging. He loses his mind, he really wants to cry too but he realizes that they both are in the mess. He just holds Kyungsoo tighter.

Minseok closes his eyes, hoping when he opens his eyes again they would be somewhere not in Beijing, nor in Seoul.

“Hyung”

Someone calls him hyung. It has been long time for him to be called hyung. Minseok still can’t believe his ears. He can’t open his eyes, he is too afraid.

“Hyung” that person calls again.

Minseok opens his eyes slowly. A man in his midst of twenty is standing not too far from him. The man with darker skin makes Minseok finally facing the reality.

He is Jongin. Kim Jongin. His only brother.