Will You Learn My Name [1/1]

Will You Learn My Name

6,380 words

 

“Are you coming?”

Kyungsoo almost doesn’t register the door opening, or the voice. Quickly, before he or anyone else catches Kyungsoo in a dazed state, he turns around and smiles at the intruder. It’s a distraction at least, because otherwise Kyungsoo isn’t doing anything except sitting on the window sill, spying on a boy in the courtyard, and sometimes Kyungsoo needs a distraction even for this. His smile when he turns his head falls upon no one, however. It’s too late, and the practice room door is already hinging slowly shut and footsteps echo down the hallway. Kyungsoo doesn’t bother erasing the smile now plastered to his face. He knows it was his accompanist Yixing because the pianist had been with him just an hour ago. 

You’re coming to lunch, right? Right? had been the unspoken addition to his request. 

Yes, no. Yes, fine. Kyungsoo deliberates with himself. 

He wants to stay and practice more. Spring semester juries are barely a month away, he has several songs left to master, and not a single one of his professors would praise him for trying to maintain something of a social life when the whole rest of his career still lays before him. Rest your voice, rest your mind, and sing. Nowhere in the unwritten Daily Schematics for Vocalists was it ever listed that Kyungsoo was allowed to let his mind drift to the outward world. Or that he should want to actually descend from the security of his practice room to the courtyard below. 

Except he did. He does. 

He can’t hear them through closed glass windows three floors up, but he sees them. Yixing and several other musicians whose names he vaguely remembers. They’re an excited bunch because it’s Friday evening and classes are over for the weekend, and now comes the weekly celebratory feast at what will probably just be the local on-campus pizza place. It’s exciting, not. 

Kyungsoo usually doesn’t go with them. Pizza never sits well in his stomach, the tough dough usually scratches along the back of his throat and he feels like a bloated pig, which distracts him from his craft. Who can comfortably sing with greasy dough and cheese in their belly.

Then again, and this is the whole reason Kyungsoo has been snooping out the window: Minseok is down there with them. He knows Minseok, he likes Minseok. He can just never seem to talk to Minseok. 

Maybe today is his day?

 

Or not.

 

 

 

 

The din of his bedroom is always one of Minseok’s favorite places to be, in spite of his friends’ testimonies to the contrary. The time inching towards one o’clock, his bed still unmade from the morning before. It’s so inviting and after a long day of of mixed academics and dance, and then a guys' night out, he really can’t wait to dive beneath his comforter and sleep in til noon. 

“Hey, you want a soda?” asks his roommate, barely ten seconds after they’re both in the door.

And there goes that brilliant plan.

“Why don’t you sleep instead?” he tells Luhan. 

Minseok turns on his desk lamp because he already knows where this is going. His roommate is bending over before their tiny dorm-sized fridge and popping open a can. He drinks from it heavily, swallows unattractively, and then lets out a huge and disgusting belch that has Minseok cringing away from him.

“Nah, I can’t sleep.” As if Luhan needed to confirm that. His roommate hasn’t gone to sleep on a Friday night before 4:00 am in all of Minseok’s living memory - three years to date.

Minseok takes comfort in the sounds of his computer starting up and tries his best to ignore him.

Another belch later has Luhan sighing uncomfortably. “Man, I can still feel that pizza in my gut. It’s been, what? Six hours or something? I should have just joined you for a chicken salad.” 

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Minseok murmurs. “Hey, did you send me that video file from earlier?” He starts punching at his keyboard.

“Yeah? I think so.” Luhan rubs his stomach in discomfort. “Why. Don’t tell me you’re going to stay up doing not-fun things on a Friday night?”

“We’ve already done fun things, at least in your book we have. I want to edit this video though and post it.”

“Ah yes, the YouTube celebrity,” says Luhan, and then he laughs cheekily while he bounces on his bed. “You know some day I better see my name listed near the top of all the people you want to thank for putting your career forward. It’s not every dancer who gets the benefit of my recording expertise.”

“I’ll include it on my tombstone, I’m sure,” says Minseok. “Anyways… thanks.” He’s clicking on the video file and it really is of good quality. Although Minseok will really never like the way he dances  he’s his own worst critic  it’s terribly beneficial to have something to measure himself by so he can practice harder later. And, as Luhan likes to overhype, some people actually like watching the few practice videos he uploads. 

Minseok doesn’t just have a YouTube account; he has a whole website portfolio. Jongdae made it for him as a side project of his web designing minor, and it is stunning. Minseok’s face covers whole left side the page in a black and white filter. Animation art from some of Minseok’s best choreography graces the upper right corner, and underneath his short — and lame — dancer intro profile, appears the latest uploaded video. 

He clicks on it to gain some context. Is this new video better, worse, uploadable? Or is it best fit for the trash bin icon, or at least a dark and buried file somewhere in the depths of his hard drive?

Will he ever get used to watching the way his body moves or the way he does hip-hop? People say he’s good at it, but Minseok doesn’t necessarily trust people’s words. Not the ones that come from their lips anyways. People lie all the time. 

And sometimes the internet is more brutally honest.

He sees he has a couple new comments on this video. The usual drabble: girls calling him hot, girls calling him oppa, just because he is Korean, and calling him hot. A few usernames that look to be males calling him y, and… he stops scrolling, one genuinely nice comment that compliments his style, his movement, the song he chose, and it ends with an unassuming smiley. The whole thing is so unoffensive and just... nice, that Minseok smiles back, as if the writer of the comment was waiting around to see it. 

Minseok clicks on the username he’s sure he’s seen before on his stats, VoiceBoi93. The link takes him to a blank profile page, no name, no picture, no videos. It does, however, list an embarrassing number of likes and comments, the majority of which are for videos Minseok himself uploaded. 

He closes the page quickly, suddenly embarrassed to realize he has a genuine fan. Only the large picture of his black and white face shows up now, as Luhan pads over to see what he’s doing.

“Woah, it’s so gorgeous.”

Minseok almost wants to blush. “What? My face?” he says in a panic.

“Nooo, this webpage. Hey, do you think Jongdae would create one for me? Can I have his number?”

Minseok snorts, and shakes his head, laughing. Whatever it takes to clear his mind from wondering about this VoiceBoi93. 

“He said, no thank you, and would you please stop stalking him.”

“Who, Jongdae? He never!” cried Luhan.

“Oh, he did.” 

“He didn’t!” Luhan looks mortified. “He thinks I’m stalking him?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“No! I mean, I don’t think so… I mean… okay, maybe… but it’s only a little bit stalking…” He stops abruptly when he realizes Minseok is laughing his head off, silently. “Hey, don’t tell me you don’t ever memorize class schedules, and wonder about people all the time, so that when you accidentally run into people you… decide to frequent those places more often… Minseok?? Minseok?? Minseok, quit laughing! I said, quit it!”

 

 

 

It's a week later when Kyungsoo realizes there's something wrong in the world. And this something wrong isn't the fact that his roommate Sehun keeps disappearing from his bed at night, reemerging only in the early morning with messy bed head from somewhere else. It's that Sehun's now usually deserted mattress is taken up by Kyungsoo's pseudo-best-friend-around-campus Jongdae.

"What are you doing here again?"

"Here? Oh, because it's safer. Nobody knows I'm here," says the guy in a halfway-conspiratorial whisper. 

"What's that mean?" Kyungsoo asks him. They aren't really best friends. Truthfully, Kyungsoo hasn't had what some people call best friends since maybe kindergarten. He does have a lot of acquaintances though, and Jongdae is probably the best of them. 

"Means, I'm being stalked!" 

Jongdae doesn't look all that freaked out. 

"Who? That weird guy again, Luhan?" He places a bookmark across the page of his sci-fi novel, an indulgence he allows himself for all those times when he doesn't feel like singing and he doesn't feel like being social, which is a lot more often than it should be. In any case, right now Jongdae has his attention, and it's getting rather silly that he keeps showing up unannounced. Not that Kyungsoo really cares. 

"Luhan?" Jongdae is saying. "Yeah, something like that. Okay and truthfully it's because my room is otherwise occupied most nights and I'd rather not sit around watching Yixing breathe heavily into some other dude's neck. Something about that image is..." he shivers to prove his point.

"Okay... well, long as you know that that is technically Sehun's bed so... if he decides to come back then you're out a place to sleep, and I promise you the floor isn't all that comfortable."

Jongdae smiles like he knows something Kyungsoo doesn't. "If Sehun comes back here, then I won't have a problem back there..." he sing-songs with a tilt to his head.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. So what are you doing. What's happening in the world. Anything exciting? Interesting? Any new wars? Pop culture scandals?"

"I think your interests are screwy," says Kyungsoo. He removes the bookmark and goes back to reading.

"I mean, news wars! Internet wars? Hey, can I use your computer? I forgot to bring my laptop."

"Suit yourself."

Jongdae seats himself at Kyungsoo's desk and a comfortable silence ensues. If this kind of thing counts as being social and having friends, then Kyungsoo thinks he's doing pretty good for himself. At least this is a healthier relationship than stalking all of some guy's internet videos. Yeah, sure, people do it all the time when they live across the world, but he feels a tad bit guilty for actually knowing that guy in real life. Every time he sees Minseok around he's almost afraid to look him in the eye. Too embarrassed to even think to himself in his head, Hey hey I'm the guy that thinks you're great and oh by the way, thanks for liking my comment and typing 'thanks' back, and that smiley emoticon looks just as cute as your real smile

Just this week Minseok had started commenting back, and Kyungsoo treasured every one of his short replies. It made him glow inside, but he was starting to worry that glow might someday spill out, and there could only be so many times where they accidentally bumped shoulders in the real world before Kyungsoo let it all loose.

Curse their mutual set of friends that makes them see each other so often. But at least Minseok knows he exists? Kind of? They'd shared a moment just a week ago over their joint decisions to order salads instead of pizza. 

'Hey, good choice. Now I don't feel so lonely,' Minseok had said. 

'Yeah, me too,' was Kyungsoo's sophisticated reply. 

It was funny how much more talkative Minseok was in real life, as opposed to his comments online. Kyungsoo is just the opposite. 

"Did you know Yixing sent me a recording of you singing the other day?" Jongdae suddenly interrupts his thoughts.

"What? He did?" The book in his hands is suddenly not important.

"Yeah, said you might like to be able to hear yourself sing, you know... to practice. Apparently that's Minseok's philosophy. You know Minseok, right? 'You are your own critic, you have to watch or listen to yourself to be able to improve.' All that nonsense. Anyways, Yixing said you sounded good and sent me the file since he didn't have your e-mail address. Want me to put it on your computer?"

Kyungsoo is still trying to coach his face into not betraying thoughts about Minseok when he says, "Sure."

 

 

 

 

 

Well this is something new...

 

VoiceBoi93 actually uploads a video file? Minseok takes a sudden interest in this. VoiceBoi93 has never in all the years his account's been active uploaded a video. He clicks on it faster than he dares admit, checking to see if Luhan is around. He is, but his roommate looks busy reading a book on his stomach on his bed, and he has on headphones so Minseok pays him no attention.

The video is actually blank, or rather it has no image except for the song title and a name that Minseok doesn't actually recognize but he knows it isn't the name of the song writer, because this vocal piece sounds old and German, probably two hundred years old judging by the style. Minseok has only ever heard songs like this being sung by vocalists in the music department. 

Kyungsoo. So that is the name of VoiceBoi93. And he thinks VoiceBoi93 has a terribly lovely voice. 

Pretty :)

He types into the comment bar under the video, and then immediately afterwards stresses himself out. Is it typical for people to leave comments quite so fast on a newly uploaded video? It only has seven views so far, and probably six of those were Kyungsoo himself. Minseok feels like a stalker. However, now it's too late to take it back...

 

Oh well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Can I help you?"

Kyungsoo looks up at the receptionist in the music department office, but the woman isn't talking to him this time. Another boy has stepped up to the desk where just a minute ago Kyungsoo had stood. He's sitting now, patiently waiting for another lady to come back with the ticket he paid for for this weekend's play put on by the theater majors. He'll get extra credit in his Music and Performance Theory class if he attends it and writes a review essay.

"Can I buy a student ticket for the.. the... what is it called... drama thing this weekend?" asks the boy, and Kyungsoo suddenly realizes it's Minseok. 

"Sure thing. Can I get your name, and what department are you in?" asks the receptionist. "I just need to log it down, and then it'll be a moment. Our printer isn't working right now, so we'll get you a ticket copy from the back."

"No problem," he says, and his voice is gentle, subtle. Kyungsoo loves how it sounds. "Kim Minseok. Err, Minseok. Kim. I'm a dance major."

"Thank you, it'll just be a moment," she repeats herself and Minseok walks away. Kyungsoo is disappointed to see him sit down in a chair on the other side of the small office, although it makes sense since all the chairs were empty except for Kyungsoo's, and no one typically sits down right next to the only other person in a room. 

It would be rude to stare, but it's also rude to not acknowledge someone he's sort of acquainted with. Minseok obviously thinks the same way and they nod at each other awkwardly, but don't speak.

"Mr. Do?" A second lady emerges from the back. "Here's your ticket. Thank you, and enjoy." Kyungsoo takes his print-out and rushes for the door as quickly as he dares. 

 

 

 

 

Do. Mr. Do. 

Minseok wishes he could remember what the boy's first name is. He knows he's been told it before, or he's probably heard it mentioned by his friends, but his memory must be bad. Plus, the boy rarely ever speaks, and Minseok is horrible at striking up a conversation with people just as naturally shy as himself. Even if he's always thought the guy was kind of intriguing, in a shy-but-attractive sort of way. Perhaps he'll ask his friends to remind him and then Minseok can actually greet him by name the next time they meet.

 

Three more videos by VoiceBoi93 aka Kyungsoo are uploaded throughout the week and Minseok unabashedly likes them all. One of them even claims to be an original composition inspired by a dancer, and he secretly gets his hopes up. The beat is slow but beautifully rhythmic even with just a piano for accompaniment and Minseok could totally see himself choreographing something to it. He   likes this one a lot!!:D   but Kyungsoo hasn't replied to any of his comments so far, and Minseok keeps wondering why not. 

Internet friendship. What is it, and where did he fail.

 

 

 

 

"Excuse me? Are you... do you mind if I sit with you?"

Kyungsoo looks up and immediately pales. It's several minutes before the play is supposed to begin, and here stands Minseok before him, and he's expressly talking to him. "Uhh, yeah, sure. Sorry let me move my bag." He hastily rearranges his school bag which was blocking part of the aisle and then gets a faceful of Minseok's shapely rear end as the dancer squeezes passed. It's strangely invasive, but Kyungsoo isn't complaining too much. 

"Thanks!" Minseok says as he happily plops down. "I uhh... hate coming to these things by myself. But it's extra credit and half of my friends are either busy or... up on stage."

"You too?" Kyungsoo asks, eyes wide. He's still a little in shock that Minseok not only spoke to him but actually sat down beside him. 

"Me too, what?" says Minseok.

"Oh, the extra credit thing."

Minseok hums in affirmation. "Yeah... for Performance theory? I don't think I've seen you in any of my classes though."

"I have it Monday-Wednesday at eight in the morning."

"Ah, that makes sense then." Minseok nods. "I have it Tuesday-Thursday at 9:30. Oh well. Hey, perhaps we can work on our reviews together? Help each other with whatever this play is about?"

Kyungsoo gulps, but he doesn't know how to say no, and he's not sure he really wants to. It would be helpful, of course, to have a friend to work together with. If they can be considered friends... 

The lights begin to dim, and there is no more time to talk. The curtains open before Kyungsoo remembers he hasn't even looked at the playbill in his hand and he has absolutely no idea what this is about or what's going on. He didn't even realize that Yixing and Sehun were in this, or that it was apparently a play about gay men. He wonders where Minseok stands on this thing, if it makes him uncomfortable or perhaps... not uncomfortable at all? 

He's certainly slouching into his chair comfortably enough, his posture so unlike a dancer's that for a moment Kyungsoo finds himself smiling so brightly he forgets he came here to watch a play. Minseok has his head resting on the back of the seat, and his scooted down low so that he's almost reclining, knees out wide and hands resting carelessly atop his thighs. His left elbow perches on the armrest between them, something Kyungsoo doesn't realize until he moves his own, and he feels the hairs on his arm tingle at the accidental skin-against-skin contact. Minseok squirms only the tiniest bit, but he doesn't remove his arm, and they pass the rest of the play like this, vaguely touching. 

Onstage, Yixing and Sehun are acting rather well for side-characters, but when the two of them have to perform a slow kiss scene, they seem more than comfortable with one another. Kyungsoo suddenly has a hunch where Sehun keeps disappearing to at nights, and he doubts it's just to practice acting.

Minseok is totally unphased by it all. At least, he thinks that's the case until the play is over and Kyungsoo realizes Minseok has fallen asleep. He taps him lightly on the arm, then a little more forcefully as the overhead lights begin to turn on. 

"Minseok? Hey... Minseok? The play's over... are you... you should wake up?"

The dancer's eyelids tremble, and then open, and he groans suddenly when he realizes what's happened. He sits up straight so fast it dislodges Kyungsoo's hand from his arm, and Kyungsoo jumps back in reflex.

"Did I? Ohhhhhhh, damnit, I... oh woah, I'm sorry. I really feel asleep." Minseok whispers harshly to himself. Kyungsoo only stares at him in alarm. 

"It's... okay. I'll... fill you in whatever you missed. We can do our reviews together, remember?"

Kyungsoo doesn't know when he became so bold, but Minseok looks relieved and that's worth everything surely. 

"Thanks," Minseok gushes gratefully. "Thanks. I, wow. Anyways, I'll definitely owe you big time."

 

 

 

They're filing out of the auditorium, Minseok still brushing his eyes awake, when he remembers he still can't remember what this guy's name is. Do something, and now that Do something is offering to help him basically do his entire review, he feels doubly embarrassed to have to ask now. Fortunately he's saved from the task when, as they exit into the courtyard, the computer whiz Jongdae catches up to them both. 

"Minseok! Kyungsoo! Hey, I didn't even see you guys in there. Where were you sitting?"

Minseok accepts the cell number Kyungsoo gives him a few minutes later so they can meet up to do the review, and as the other two walk away, Minseok is still in a little bit of shock.

Kyungsoo. His name is Kyungsoo, and now he knows why even the guy's speaking voice sounded so beautiful to him.

 

Three days later there's another recording of VoiceBoi93, this time with full video and a face, but seeing as how Kyungsoo still hasn't replied to any of his earlier comments, Minseok steadfastly resists commenting now. He's so mortified that he didn't recognize him before now that it takes another day to remember that Kyungsoo (or rather VoiceBoi93) is also one of Minseok's biggest fans.

Meanwhile, Kyungsoo's number is burning a hole in his cell pocket and he doesn't know what to do about that.

 

 

 

"I feel kind of sick," Minseok says to his unfortunately not empty dorm room.

"Why?" asks Luhan unhelpfully, "because you found out your internet crush was real?"

On second thought, Minseok probably shouldn't have confessed his little problem to his roommate. 

"It's not a crush..." he tries to persuade himself.

"Isn't it, now."

Minseok groans, but the simple truth of the matter is, not a single sound that Minseok can make in the back of his throat will help him through this situation. Before Luhan can break it down for him, Minseok goes into hibernation mode, reflecting on everything currently at odds with his life. He can't, however, get passed the notion that Kyungsoo and VoiceBoi93 are one and the same person, or what he's supposed to do about that. He feels like he knows each entity in a completely separate manner. The account name, in Minseok's mind, belongs to some super cute guy based on personality alone who likes Minseok's dancing and sings like an angel. Kyungsoo the person though is a real, solid figure who Minseok has only occasionally spoken to, and he's cute in the physical sense. 

The two merge in his head, a cataclysm Minseok never expected, never wanted to have to experience. He can't separate them now though, but he's still left with the same nagging question: why doesn't Kyungsoo the person acknowledge Minseok in the real world. It would be so much easier too if he'd just say something online, if he'd respond to Minseok's comments. The comments Minseok left in ignorance and now it will probably embarrass the heck out of him once Kyungsoo says something.

"So, what are you going to do?" Luhan mentally stabs into his brain. "You should call him. If you want to complete your review. Seeing as how you... fell asleep during the play."

Minseok frets for another half hour and then makes a decision which will greatly affect his life.

"It was just for extra credit. I don't actually have to turn it in..."

 

Minseok was always good at holding patterns. 

 

 

 

 

 

The fact that the dancer never called him weighs heavily in Kyungsoo's mind. It was a rare burst of courage that had him giving over his number, but by not calling, Minseok squashed that flat. Perhaps he'd been too forward. Perhaps Kyungsoo wasn't cool enough for the dancer to bother with, or perhaps he'd asked somebody else for help with his review.

Kyungsoo spirals into a two-day fit of depression before he tears himself out of it, declares that he's being overly dramatic and it's not like it's important anyways. Crushes come and go, and his attraction to the dancer isn't something Kyungsoo really has the time for. His jury is one week away, and his voice has been shaky. He got yelled at by his teacher for his lack of focus, and then Sehun came home one night coughing, and the next day Kyungsoo wakes up with a sore throat and the day after that he has a full-blown cold. 

He's really in no mood to be wasting time online checking to see if Minseok has uploaded anything new, but then, he's sick and grumpy and he needs to stare at something that perhaps will make him feel better. Revisit an old crush, and that sort of thing, even if Minseok isn't old - the dancer or the status of Kyungsoo's crush. It's still actually fresh in his mind and Kyungsoo can't supress it.

He logs into YouTube on the e-mail address he uses specifically for that... 

 

... and nearly has heart failure. 

 

Line after line of notifications and stats and comments and likes, all on videos... he never uploaded. Videos of himself. Himself! Singing! In the practice room. Audio recordings he remembers Yixing taking. Yixing would set up his phone and place it on the piano, and when he was done he'd send it to Jongdae because Yixing never remembered to save his e-mail address, and then Jongdae would come over and put it on his computer later and...

He dives frantically for his cell phone, heart racing, head about to burst.

 

To: Jongdae

Did you upload me singing onto Youtube?!?!?!?!

 

His friend answers him inordinarily fast. 

 

To: Kyungsoo

Yeah? Why

 

Kyungsoo can't even reply to that one. He fumes and rages, and his eyeballs convulse because Jongdae doesn't even know how bad this is! Kyungsoo never wanted videos of himself online! He doesn’t need strangers judging his voice based on a mediocre cell phone recording device, and he definitely never wanted his name or his face plastered on the account he uses only for the perusal of other peoples’ talents. Like Minseok’s… Even his username is a minor source of embarrassment; he came up with 'VoiceBoi93' back in his freshman year of high school. High school! How much worse could it get!?

And then he reads the top comment under the second most recent video and he knows that username by heart, and Kyungsoo really knows now how much worse it can get.

Minseok has already found him.

Minseok knows who he is.

Minseok — oh God — Minseok, who has been responding to all of Kyungsoo’s cheesy little comments on his dance videos, back when Kyungsoo had the blessing of anonymity... He’s going to murder Jongdae the very next time he sees the guy, but in the meantime, there's something else bothering him immensely: If Minseok knows who he is, knows that Kyungsoo knows who is, then why has he never said anything to him in person about it? As if they have two kinds of interactions, in two separate mediums that never actually cross or interact. Not only is Kyungsoo incredibly embarrassed, but now he's confused as hell.

And Minseok  both versions of him  seemed so nice. Why then didn’t he ever call Kyungsoo? 

 

 

 

 

Holding patterns are super easy to maintain, that's Minseok's theory anyways. Holding patterns like continuing to ignore the nagging little voice in his ear that says Minseok is doing something wrong. That Minseok should probably do the up-front thing and actually go and find the boy he's been thinking about and say, 'Hi. I know you're a singer,' in the real sense, and not the imaginary sense. He squashes it every time though. He's also too busy trying to iron out a group choreography project with several other dancers, and since these guys are different people than the circle of friends Minseok and Kyungsoo mutually share, he never runs into Kyungsoo, so nothing bothers him in the physical sense.

There haven't been any new recordings by VoiceBoi93, and Minseok doesn't have anything new to upload on his end either. Everything is dead between them. He tries to ignore the fact that he actually downloaded the song Kyungsoo put up several weeks ago, the song dedicated to a nameless dancer, and that Minseok really hopes it was for him. He's not going to do anything with it anyways. It's just music streaming from his iPod through his earbuds and into his head, and in between rehearsals for other things when Minseok wants to unwind, he dances to it. Nothing formal, no rehearsed, remembered movements. It's slow enough to freestyle to and every time he turns it on, he dances a little differently. And it's definitely not Kyungsoo's voice that inspires him... it's music... plain and simple... just music... he keeps telling himself.

Music, that's all it is. 

Somebody taps on his shoulder, interrupting the moment. It's just Jongin, one of the up and coming sophomore dancers. Minseok taps off the sound, and turns around, eyebrows inquiring.

Jongin looks tired, and he puts a hand in front of his mouth, waiting on a sneeze. Minseok backs away because he doesn't want to catch whatever cold it looks like Jongin is working on. 

"What's up," he asks him instead.

The sneeze won't come, and Jongin sighs in frustration. "N-nothing. Just seeing if you were coming with us to lunch today."

"Not if everybody is sick, I'm not," Minseok teases.

Jongin laughs. "Nah, not everybody. Sehun was pretty sick a few days ago but he's mostly better. Claims he saved all his germs for his poor roommate who's got it now. I just have allergies!" he exclaims almost proudly.

Somewhere during their walk from the dance building to the food court Minseok remembers an old tidbit of information from the back of his mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, I heard you were sick! :(( Hope you're feeling better. The sooner you can sing again the better for all of us! :D Take care. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks! I'm almost well now. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn't see him again until the day after his vocal jury. His voice is better, his cold is beaten. He can breathe a little easier now, and somehow the knowledge that he held a full two-way (two-line) conversation with Minseok online makes him walk a little more sprightly than usual. It lasts until he accidentally walks into a group of musicians mingling with other theater and dance performance majors in the courtyard, and Minseok is one of them. They start on opposite ends of the group, a half dozen bodies between them, all of whom are more socially inclined to be rowdy and loud than either Minseok or Kyungsoo. 

He gravitates habitually to Jongdae's side, eyes never quite meeting Minseok's for more than a few half-seconds at a time. The other is sitting on a painted, faded rail separating the bushes from the walkway. He sits higher than most of the rest, like a beacon for Kyungsoo's gaze, but no one else seems to notice the tension that stretches ten feet across. Or it is tension? Because it doesn't feel stressful, and Kyungsoo's heart isn't exactly pounding. Something about this just feels natural, that they would stand apart and not speak, but instead just look at each other, occasionally notice each other. Once or twice actually smile at each other. 

Minseok catches and holds his glance finally, eyes flickering from Kyungsoo to the spot next to Minseok, a lonely stretch of railing with nobody sitting upon it, yet. Kyungsoo's feet start to move of their own accord, around the crowd slowly, naturally. Until he's standing just short of Minseok, and once again the dancer looks at him nicely, taps his hand to the railing. Kyungsoo does the normal thing. He climbs up, finds his balance, and sits there, hands on the railing and feet wrapped around the bar below.

"Hi," says Minseok, the first words they've spoken since the theater incident.

"Hey." A moment or two of silence passes between them while they watch the others laughing and cutting up, laughing like fools.

"I guess you're all better now?" the dancer asks.

"Yeah. I am. Thanks."

More silence, but it's not as oppressive as Kyungsoo might have thought.

"You know..." Minseok starts casually, "I didn't know who you were for a while, online. Actually not until the last video that wasn't just audio. The one that had your actual face on it." He laughs lightly, embarrassed and with a faint blushing tilt to his head.

"Oh." Kyungsoo swallows. Then he asks incredulously, "You didn't know my first name?" Something about Minseok's blush makes him feel easier, more confident.

"I... I didn't actually..." Minseok confesses. "I only remembered your last name, and didn't realize what your first name was until Jongdae called out to you after the play. And then, I felt like an idiot."

"Oh," Kyungsoo repeats, vaguely offended. "Well, I knew your name."

Minseok laughs, but he's even more embarrassed now, and with the way he speaks Kyungsoo determines that Minseok isn't trying to be mean. He looks genuinely sorry that he didn't know who he was. It's not a whole lot to work with, but it's something... Kyungsoo gives him a strange look though, his version of casting shame. 

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. Alright, I'll let you grill me on that forever," Minseok tells him, before he stops laughing. His lips close and he smiles again, almost shyly. "Anyways, I'm sorry. I know now. And... well thanks for always saying something on my videos."

"You know, I didn't upload the ones on my account," Kyungsoo confesses out of the blue.

"What?"

"Yeah, I didn't do that. Jongdae did it without telling me, so I didn't realize for a while that you were actually liking and commenting on my stuff back." He hangs his head, the better to not remind himself that now their identities are out in the open, nothing changes the fact that Kyungsoo had acted like a stalker internet fanboy, and Minseok knows this.

"Oh." It's Minseok's turn to 'oh.'

Kyungsoo lifts his head, practically sneers at him, dumbfounded by the look of relief on Minseok's face. "Huh?"

"Oh. Oh that makes sense then. And, and that means... well I was actually confused why you wouldn't respond to me. So I felt like I'd overstepped my boundaries or something... if... that makes sense."

It does actually, more sense than Kyungsoo ever hoped to make out. Because now that means Minseok wasn't purposefully not calling him because he thought Kyungsoo was a creep - they were just confused together. Or confused apart. Solidarity in one of its rarest forms. 

"Ahh, I see now," he whispers, jointly relieved. His shoulders hunch forward, all energy focused on maintaining his balance. It wouldn't normally be a lot of effort, but it does when Kyungsoo's body feels suddenly light as air and he wants to smile and grin like an idiot but he's not sure it's the time for that yet.

One of the guys screeches, Luhan, if he remembers his name properly. Jongdae has started to wrestle his arms behind his back in an attempt to make him confess to stalking, and when Luhan does finally - he risks being tripped and falling to the ground - Jongdae whoops. "I knew it! You're a sicko! Come out and stalk me to my face next time! You'll get better results, I promise!" 

The chorus of guys around them laugh hilariously, mostly at Luhan's expression. "I... I can do that then?"

"Sure. Why not?" says Jongdae. 

Minseok and Kyungsoo both smile down at them, nothing verbal to contribute. Luhan issues another pitch-defying shriek when someone tries to tackle/tickle him, and Minseok literally cringes. 

"Loud, isn't he?" says Kyungsoo.

"You don't need to tell me. That guy is my roommate. He's always like that."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. Anyways I hear that enough. Want to go somewhere?"

"What. Just us?" Kyungsoo suddenly balks.

Minseok looks hesitant. "Uhm... well, do you? Want to go... eat something... by ourselves?" 

Kyungsoo stares at him, suddenly at a loss for words. His eyes are probably bulging but it only makes Minseok laugh. He slides off the rail, tugs on one of Kyungsoo's arms to pull him down too, and then he keeps it there... his hand on Kyungsoo's arm. 

"Yeah, let's go somewhere. Just us..." Minseok repeats.

"O-Okay."

As they start to walk away, Minseok terrifies him again. "So, about that song... the song you said was kind of... dedicated to a dancer... I take it that was for me...? Correct me if I'm wrong but! It's... it was kind of amazing... and... oh don't think this is the only reason I want to eat lunch with you but... can I... would you let me, maybe, dance to it?" 

Kyungsoo only nods and blushes like a fool, and Minseok beams and slips his arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder and neck, and this day could definitely not get any better. Maybe in ten years they'll actually get around to saying they like each other. Or sooner. Miracles do actually happen after all. Minseok knows his name.

 
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Spookje
#1
Chapter 1: Aww, I wish there was more! This is really cute, I really like their interaction together. It fits them both well, as the more quiet types.
marrymemary
#2
Chapter 1: Awww~ Xiusoo is soooo awkwardly cute in here >.< i loved every bits of this fic ㅋㅋㅋ ^^
xiu_mine
#3
Chapter 1: Ahh the fluffy one! I love every part of this. Made me miss how was it to like someone from your school and all the interactions you have or don't have with the person, in which no matter how petty it was, it will either send you smiles or bring you frustration. Plus the YouTube!au is a good additional. I adore how shy and a little awkward they both are in person but they are obviously crushing on each other nline. Oh sweet love!

As always, quality fics from an amazing writer like you. The pairing is no longer important as long as you're the one writing, but it doesn't mean the Xiusoo and the Luchen aren't adorable together.
Sheimary13
#4
Chapter 1: Ahhhhhh this was very good!!! I loved it!!!
adrabblemaker
#5
Chapter 1: Virtual friends into real friends! I love the plot so much.
yehet_pcy #6
i remember reading this in squishyfied omfg i loved this so much like seriously how could anyone read this and not think this is cute????? plus i love how it's written in both of their pov's i think that just made the fic better. PLUS THAT ENDING WAS SO GOOD???? LIKE I SOOOOO WANT THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO DEVELOP FROM THAT POINT ON INTO A NICE AND LOVING RELATIONSHIP MAYBE. i love this xiusoo au thank you for writing and sharing
PalmerPie
#7
Chapter 1: IM SCREAMING THE ENDING WAS SO PERFECT AND LMFAO WTF JONGDAE "STALK ME TO MY FACE NEXT TIME" THATLL TEACH HIM
this was wonderful and ur wonderful thank u for such a lovely read ^^
Genie97
#8
Chapter 1: Just at the end, I realised that it was a one shot T^T I want moreeee haha xD Anyways, very nice piece of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Xiusoo ftw!
kiwiandacai #9
Chapter 1: This is sweet! And so cute to boot! The ending had me curling my fingers in delight/embarrassment (?) haha. A great piece of fanfic, thanks for posting it up and sharing it with us.
FairyLove5 #10
Chapter 1: Hahahhahha this story is soo sweet! I like it so much! Yeey Xiusoo! :D