Junmyeon could feel the panic build the longer he stared at the screen, and the more his panic increased, the more panicked he became. The cycle seemed endless, and Junmyeon was beginning to wonder if he should have kept a paper bag next to his desk in case of hyperventilation, when his savior appeared. Well, one of them at least.

 

Cool hands crept up his back under the fabric of his shirt, and Junmyeon felt his body's instantaneous reaction as it relaxed into the familiar touch. There was a quick kiss to his neck, and Junmyeon knew the touch was Baekhyun's because of the well-used method for reducing the panic and making his lover calm down a little. (Tao was good a calming Junmyeon too, but his ways were a little more...physical. Not in a y times way--both Junmyeon and Baekhyun found that unfortunate--but more like he would act all wushu and terrifying until Junmyeon was more afraid of pissed off Tao than anything else.)

 

Junmyeon groaned at the sudden rush of heat his body experienced as Baekhyun draped himself across the back of the desk chair and somehow ended up with his face at Junmyeon's neck and his teeth on Junmyeon's ear lobe.

 

"Baek," he moaned out, wishing Tao were home to appreciate how attractive their shared lover was being right then. At that thought, though, Junmyeon's blood ran cold and he lost all interest in Baekhyun's advances as the panic set back in.

 

Shared lover.Shared lover. Shared lover.

 

Because really, that's what Baekhyun was to him and Tao, right? One person shared in love by two other people; one person who loves each of the other two equally, except without the other two loving each other at all. That's what his screen said, at least. Which is why Junmyeon had panicked. Because the Internet was supposed to hold the answers he'd been looking for, but it just ended up making him even more confused.

 

Baekhyun, though at times a little self-absorbed, was aware enough in that moment to recognize that Junmyeon, for some reason, was suddenly not in the mood. Still a diva at heart, however, Baekhyun instantly assumed Junmyeon just didn't want him, and left the room abruptly, calming attempts forgotten. Junmyeon sighed, rubbing his tired eyes with long fingers that spent too much time at a keyboard and not enough time entwined with Tao's or Baekhyun's.

 

"Baekhyun-ah," he tried, coaxingly. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just confused all of a sudden, okay?"

 

Junmyeon meant well, but his words were a far cry from the one's Baekhyun needed in that moment, and he heard a muffled reply of "Couch" before the slam of a door echoed throughout the house. If Junmyeon's panic had felt unbearably cyclical before Baekhyun's entrance, it was practically never ending now that he'd gone. Junmyeon felt like he was drowning in his thoughts, and since Tao was still at work and he'd apparently made Baekhyun angry, he didn't know what to do.

 

But Junmyeon wasn't the oldest of four for nothing, and he figured that if putting on a thinking cap worked for him at age 6, there should be no reason why it couldn't still work now. (And anyway, if his thinking cap grew in proportion with his brain, Junmyeon figured he'd be more than equipped to properly address his current problems.)

 

First, Baekhyun. Junmyeon thought this problem could be solved pretty easily because he loved Baekhyun, and he knew the guy wasn't exactly complicated when it came to reasons he got upset. If not smudged eyeliner or skinny jeans which no longer fit because being in a stable relationship was actually making him more filled out, it was the fact that Junmyeon and/or Tao were too tired or too hungry or too whatever for se--ah. Junmyeon understood.

 

"Baekhyun-ah," Junmyeon tried again, getting up from the desk in his home office to knock on the bedroom door this time. "You'll let me in, won't you?"

 

Junmyeon could hear a scoff from somewhere beyond the door, but he figured even a negative response was better than none at all, and pushed on. "Baekhyun-ah, hyung's cold. Let me in so I can get my slippers and a sweater? Maybe a snuggle?" Still no response other than a an even louder scoff, probably because Junmyeon was the only one of the three who slept shirtless and in boxers all year round--it was practically impossible for him to feel cold. Junmyeon remember this detail about himself a second too late, so he sighed again and resigned himself to a little bit of a wait. He sat down with his back against the door and continued to complain half-heartedly through the wood about how cold it was in the rest of the house without Baekhyun to keep him warm.

 

That's how Tao found Junmyeon when the former can home from his after-classes job 20 minutes later. "What's going on?" he attempted to ask Junmyeon. Before he could finish the question, though, the bedroom door flew open and Baekhyun launched himself into Tao's arms.

 

"Tao, sweetie," Baekhyun wailed, "Jun-hyung is confused about us. He said so himself."

 

Junmyeon spluttered defensively. "I didn't--I mean, that's not what--cause like--ugh."

 

"Shhh," Tao soothed Baekhyun with a comforting hand on the small of his back, but calmed Junmyeon too when he said, "Ge, breathe, okay? When you're ready, then you can share." (It never ceased to amaze Junmyeon how mature their maknae could be sometimes. Obviously he was most often a soft panda, but Tao could be grown up when he wanted to. Junmyeon loved that about him.)

 

Junmyeon took two deep breaths to calm himself and tamp down on the re-rising panic. "I was on the Internet today," he began, eyes shifting nervously between Baekhyun and a gently smiling Tao, who nodded as if to say "It's okay, continue." So Junmyeon did. "Anyway, I was doing some reading and I found this site where some people talk about relationships like ours." He bit his lip nervously, "One's with three people."

 

 "Yeah," Baekhyun challenged, "so what about that confused you exactly? Because we've been together for almost two years now and I've never once seen you act like this about our relationship." Baekhyun was annoyed and the hand cocked on his hip told Junmyeon to tread carefully and choose his next words with caution.

 

 

 

 

 

That elicited Baekhyun's third scoff of the night and a sarcastic, "Not what you meant, huh? Looks like that's happening to you a lot, don't you think?" directed toward Junmyeon.

 

Junmyeon pouted at Baekhyun's words but kept talking because he figured the sooner this was over, the better. "It's wrong because the Internet people said relations with three people only work when there is one person shared by two people. Since we are three people who all love each other and don't share at all, doesn't that mean we are disagreeing with the Internet?"

 

Baekhyun snorted, causing his head to jolt and smack Tao's jaw as a result. "Ow," Tao grumbled, albeit good-naturedly.

 

"Sorry," Baekhyun apologized breezily, kissing the spot where he'd hit Tao, and then once on Tao's lips for good measure. "I can't help being dangerous--dangerously y." Tao giggled in that high pitched but strangely attractive way of his, and Baekhyun winked at Junmyeon like the eldest was in on the joke. For a moment, things were back to normal and Junmyeon forgot his panic and confusion.

 

Until Baekhyun's smiling face became a glare at Junmyeon. "Your age is showing," Baekhyun said degradingly to Junmyeon. "It's not like the Internet is a living, breathing person; it doesn't care whether or not you agree with everything you find simply because it can't even care in the first place!" His voice increased in volume as the first part of his argument reached it's end and Tao had to gently remind Baekhyub that the neighbors would likely complain if their discussion got any louder. Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but took one look at Tao's aegyo and finished his volume agreeably.

 

"And Tao's right, you know," he told Junmyeon. "It shouldn't matter if we are three people who love each other equally or two people who love and are loved by the same person. What is love, if not a choice, right?"

 

Junmyeon could always be appealed to with logic, even through the mind-numbing hazes of his panic attacks, and he found himself nodding along before he could stop himself. He looked at Tao to see their Chinese lover nodding too, seemingly pleased that his other two lovers were well on their way to making up. Just in case, though, Tao felt slightly compelled to add his own argument. "And we do share, Jun-ge, you realize that, don't you? We just happen to share a little ore love than most people, and that's okay."

 

His words prompted more nodding from Junmyeon, who soon apologized profusely and opened his arms to embrace an waiting Baekhyun. Junmyeon made sure to smother Baekhyun's face in kisses so that the shorter male would know exactly how sorry Junmyeon was about the whole situation. When Tao grinned and said in mock annoyance, "Hey! Did I not contribute?" Junmyeon--and Baekhyun--happily gave him kisses too.

 

 

 

The next day, Baekhyun had a sudden and unexpected need to print, so he went into Junmyeon's office to use his eldest lover's laptop. (He had been at breakfast, eating toast while looking over some of the music he'd assigned for a singing lesson that day, when Tao had fallen asleep at the table and hit Junmyeon's coffee into Baekhyun's lap. Honestly, Tao fell asleep so often while trying to eat breakfast that this shouldn't have surprised anyone, but it had and the coffee had spilled and here they were.)

 

When Baekhyun opened the laptop, though, he was surprised to see that Junmyeon hadn't closed any of his open windows from the previous night, probably since Baekhyun and Tao had been ravishingly distracting to Junmyeon once they'd all stopped fighting. As so often happened when Baekhyun was left to his own devices--or when he was with his childhood best friend, Chanyeol--curiosity got the better of him, and Baekhyun chanced a peek.

 

Thankfully, it wasn't . Instead, though, Baekhyun realized his Jun-hyung had been reading fanfiction, and in a way that was almost worse. Unable to contain his disdain, Baekhyun felt compelled to text Junmyeon and inform his lover that he now understood why Junmyeon had been so conflicted.

 

From Baekhyun: Hyung, you realize fanfiction isn't true, right? Most of the people writing about three person relationships have probably never even experienced what we have.

 

From Junmyeon: Uh, I guess, yeah. I did wonder, especially when most of the people only seemed to write about the . (Which is admittedly great.)

 

From Tao: Jun-ge was reading fanfiction? LOL

 

From Baekhyun: It was for Reply 1997 too! Kekeke! Hyung, I didn't realize you were so obsessed.

 

From Junmyeon: Shut up, both of you. I get it, I'm an idiot.

 

From Tao: Damn straight.

 

From Baekhyun: And hyung? This wouldn't apply to us anyway because of of these characters is a girl. I know for a fact that Tao and I are 100% men...but is there something you'd like to tell us?

 

Baekhyun grinned as he sent that last message; he could practically hear Tao's high-pitched laughter and see Junmyeon's appalled pout through the phone.

 

From Junmyeon: Shut. Up.