Aren't you something to admire,
'Cause your shine is something like a mirror
And I can't help but notice,
You reflect in this heart of mine

-

Big doe eyes and a cute-looking nose, pretty pink lips hiding a perfect smile. The beautiful features were almost ethereal, and would be a compliment if he wasn't born a boy.

The young boy fidgeted in his tight clothes, half-cursing and half-whining. His homeroom teacher chided him for using “ugly” words at his tender age of 10, asking him to keep still while he dressed the younger boy up. Once he was done with placing the boy in a white and frilly dress, he would send him off to the female teachers who would know how to put a wig and some make-up on.

“Would you keep still?” The young boy asked with glistening eyes, and the homeroom teacher tried his best not to coo at the sight. “I'm a boy! Everyone will laugh at me from now on! Why must I be Cinderella! So many girls to play the role, why me!”

“Youngmin-ah, don't worry too much about it. No one will tease you, they wouldn't even realise you're a boy!” The teacher in mid-twenties smiled kindly, ruffling the soft locks of the young boy. “The skit is only by us drama club, and you know we don't have enough actresses. All of the girls rather make costumes and props.”

“I would have made props too!” Youngmin cried, flinching when he heard the door open. “Eep!”

“Is Youngmin okay?” A timid voice asked, revealing a boy in a white suit embellished with golden-coloured chains. He looked almost exactly like the boy he was referring to, except the boyish aura he emitted and the minute different in features.

“Kwangmin-ah! Don't look at me!” Youngmin squeaked, hiding behind the adult's legs though the ends of the dress couldn't be hidden seeing how fluffy it was. He hadn't seen Kwangmin in his prince costume, but he was sure nothing was more embarrassing than his dress. “You're the last person I want to see me in this!”

Kwangmin exchanged glances with the adult, worry apparent in his young eyes. The homeroom teacher smiled softly, knowing the boyish, younger twin hadn't thought of teasing his twin.

“Youngmin-ah, I'm sure Kwangmin doesn't mean any harm. I'll go out and get Ms Lee for your wig, okay?” The teacher excused himself, prying Youngmin's small hands off his pants.

“B-but!” Youngmin protested, but quickly turned his head to turn away from his twin. “This is so embarrassing!”

“Youngminnie...” Kwangmin held the shoulders of his twin and slowly turned the six-minute-older boy around. “It's okay.”

“Kwangminnie!” Youngmin cried out, hugging his twin. “I don't want to play Cinderella!”

Kwangmin silently patted Youngmin's back, unsure of what he could say to make his brother feel better. He wondered if telling his twin that he was very beautiful would do the situation any good, but decided Youngmin would probably snap at him if he did. “I wish I could play Cinderella for you.”

Youngmin paused, slowly releasing himself from the hug. He then took in Kwangmin's new look, amazed at how princely his brother was. There was as if some heavenly light shining down on him, his bright eyes clouded with some worry.

Kwangmin was always a bit of an awkward kid, and he is even more awkward when acting so he's probably frightened out of his wits right now, but Youngmin could always count on him to say the right words at the right time. He was sure he would be teasing Kwangmin right now if he was playing Cinderella instead, and wondered how Kwangmin could so sincerely and so kindly speak those words.

“Thank you.” Youngmin smiled softly, leaning in to peck Kwangmin's cheek. He took in a deep breath, then clasped his hands together while giving a toothy smile. “I feel a lot better, my Prince Charming~!”

Kwangmin blushed cutely, then cheering his brother on as a female teacher came in with a wig and a make-up case.

Youngmin watches as Kwangmin retreats timidly, thanking his mother for the umpteenth time. Kwangmin wonders if Youngmin feels the same - because he's glad he wasn't born alone.

-

If you ever feel alone
And the glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

-

“Mom!” Youngmin greeted brightly, happy that his first day of high school went better than expected. He made friends with this cute-looking guy that was a lot more outspoken than he had expected, and was a lot more popular too. Somehow he got acquainted with a large group thanks to this guy. Youngmin's girly features dulled a lot with puberty, especially the low voice that now accompanied his pretty face. “Has Kwangminnie reached home yet?”

While they were in the same school, they were allocated into different classes and hence have different schedules. They agreed beforehand not to wait for each other, instead coming home to talk about their first day at school.

“He's in his room, but he doesn't seem to look very good.” The mother sighed with worry etched between her knitted eyebrows. “Would you go talk to him for me?”

Youngmin nodded and curiously wondered what happened. Kwangmin was still all smiles this morning, excitement apparent on his face as it was apparent on his own. He headed to “Kwangmin's room”, because really, they sometimes have sleepovers at each other's room anyway. (And just to test if their parents were sharp enough to realise they swop rooms, though they don't do it as much since puberty.)

“Kwangmin-ah...?” Youngmin knocked on the door and cautiously turned the knob. He then peeked in, watching Kwangmin hide behind his giant Pikachu soft toy. (Youngmin had chosen it for Kwangmin with his parents on Kwangmin's 15th birthday (aka his too). He even took out ten dollars to chip in!)

“I'll talk to you later.” Kwangmin tried brushing off the older twin, grabbing his blankets and all ready to hide under them.

Youngmin frowned, not used to Kwangmin rejecting his company. They have been together for almost everything in their whole life, so it wasn't time to change that either. Youngmin put on his brightest smile and jumped onto the big bed, hands grabbing the ends of the blanket to dive under. “Kwangminnie~~”

“I'm serious.” Kwangmin gave a straight face, sitting up and emerging from the blankets when Youngmin joined him on bed.

“I might look like that, but I'm serious too.” Youngmin replied firmly, grabbing hold of Kwangmin's hand and clasping it between his own, His tone softened as Kwangmin looked away, lips pressed together refusing to say anything more. “Kwangmin-ah...what's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Youngmin realised, sixteen years of living and it was always Kwangmin who knew him best. Somehow, he couldn't do the same for the younger. Whatever telepathy twins have, it sure only worked one-way in their case.

“Come on!” Youngmin whined, tugging Kwangmin and refusing to stop until Kwangmin turned to look at him in annoyance. “Tell me, tell me, t-t-t-t-t-tell me~”

“That song is so old.” Kwangmin made a face, but obviously softening seeing his brother try so hard. He looked at Youngmin's anticipating expression, sighing softly. “The kids in school don't seem to like me a lot.”

“Why!” Youngmin widened his eyes in shock.

That would be the last thing he had expected, because Kwangmin was so lovable in his eyes. He's awkwardly cute, and always makes silly jokes whether or not the situation calls for it. He sometimes say things without thinking, but has the kindest heart in the whole world. Even their mother say Youngmin should learn from Kwangmin to be nicer to everyone. (Although their father said he should protect his brother because a kind person suffers in this cruel world. Maybe this was what he was referring to.)

“Not sure, but they all have their own cliques and don't seem really welcoming of me.” Kwangmin tried and give a smile, but the pain in his young heart refuses to let the ends of his lips rise.

Youngmin pouted, hugging his brother and pecking him softly on the cheeks. Kwangmin made a disgruntled sound, but didn't pull away from Youngmin's loose grip. “I'm always here for you, okay? I might not be in the same class, but if you want, I can have lunches with you and we can wait for each other after school to come home together.”

Kwangmin finally gave a small smile, nodding lightly. “...thanks.”

Kwangmin doesn't tell Youngmin how guilty he feels to keep Youngmin with him even at school. Youngmin smiles as if knowing, assuring those fears.

-

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass, I'm trying to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

-

“I'm saying you can't do that anymore.” The trainee coordinator gave a stern look, bordering disgust. The two exchanged glances, unconsciously moving away from each other. “I can't believe I have to tell you this, but you both are adults right now and this sort of affection is weird.”

Youngmin had, as usual, pecked Kwangmin on the cheeks after the younger twin gave his all for the small dance battle held at the company they signed with. Kwangmin whined at Youngmin's affection but didn't really resist, and their coordinator had a bone to pick with that.

“I told you.” Kwangmin whispered, even though they both knew he didn't.

Youngmin puffed his cheeks and made a face behind the coordinator's back. What does he know about having a twin, tch.

Adults are really weird. They always coo when kids kiss each other and always edge it on, but somewhere along the way when their voices starts to deepen and annoying facial hair start to grow (along with those cursed pimples that loves to grow in awkward places like the tip of his nose), it suddenly becomes disgusting.

“You hear me? You guys are debuting soon as the people above have decided, so you better take note of your conduct.” The coordinator gave a look to Kwangmin who immediately bowed back. Satisfied, he turned to Youngmin who was obviously not as docile. “I said-”

Kwangmin reached for Youngmin's hand and tugged once. Sighing, Youngmin bowed his head. “Yes, sir.”

Youngmin glared at Kwangmin as their coordinator left. What's wrong with loving his very own twin brother? Were they expected to be on bad terms or something? Ridiculous.

“Humpfh!” Youngmin made a cute angry noise, to which Kwangmin chuckled softly at. Was this person the older of them two?

“I'm sorry, but you know, it's true you should stop this.” Kwangmin tried comforting, although his words made Youngmin glare harder. “I mean, we're sixteen! You didn't even shower your ex-girlfriend with so much affection 'cause you said it was awkward, so I guess that's what we're supposed to be. A bit awkward.”

The older twin made another face at Kwangmin's logic that usually don't make much sense, and only worsened today. Did he also forget to tell Kwangmin he dated that girl for a while because she was crying hysterically when he rejected her love letter?

“Sixteen, so what?” Youngmin pointed at two boys who were on the other end of the practice room - their dance battle rival duo, minding their own businesses. Of the two, one was the same age as the twins, but that didn't seem to stop him from being all touchy with the older guy by his side. “Minwoo's like that even though he's sixteen.”

“Don't drag me in!” A voice squeaked.

Kwangmin gave a weak smile and shrugged. Youngmin didn't like how being a trainee changed his brother.

-

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm looking right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

-

“Get a room!” Youngmin snapped, and he knew it was a bit too much of him to be so irritable. Was it the stress of debuting way too quickly with so many loose ends (last minute member changes, piling homework, overlapping schedules), or was it the pressure of idol life on the relationship between him and his twin? Kwangmin moves away almost instinctively, and a certain duo just keeps rubbing it in.

“Watch your language.” Donghyun lowly warned back, while Minwoo whimpered at Youngmin's attitude. Donghyun was messing with him as usual, and Minwoo couldn't do anything about it especially when Donghyun switches from serious to playful all within a second.

Minwoo long sensed the twins had some kind of tension, so he was always a bit cautious around them especially since he was classmates with Youngmin. This time wasn't his fault (well, it usually never is), but it was the first time Youngmin clashed with Donghyun, and clashing with people older than you by at least 1/3 of your life wasn't the best idea in Minwoo's book.

Minwoo tried to hurry to find Kwangmin so they could at least each try to calm one person down, knowing the two personalities don't have the best temper. The hand around his wrist resisted his movement, and Minwoo silently lamented his need to build some muscles so he doesn't get dragged around like a doll.

Youngmin was about to apologise when he rebelliously wondered why. Why should he apologise? What's with the society and their damned expectations? What made Donghyun and Minwoo's antics any more acceptable than a small act of affection between brothers. He opened his already big eyes wider and stared back defiantly, while Minwoo jumped onto Donghyun and wished whatever strength in him worked its magic to at least restrain the leader a bit.

“Kwangmin-ah!” Minwoo yelled, and the said person peeked his head out curiously, quite unaware.

Kwangmin strolled out and let himself have a second to look amused at Minwoo's position.

Minwoo coughed.

“Jo Youngmin.” Donghyun started, and that alerted the younger twin of the fact that something wasn't right. Minwoo nodded furiously.

“Donghyun-hyung.” Kwangmin stood between the two man, smiling softly. “Let him off once, for me?”

“Doesn't really help that you guys look like carbon copies. Get away or I'll drag you in.” Donghyun frowned.

Minwoo got off Donghyun and sighed. Well then, time to practise some of his charms that always seem to work better on guys than girls. “Donghyun-hyung! Just once! Come on!”

“Stay out of this.” Donghyun pushed Minwoo roughly away. “Shouldn't you be offended-”

The twins stared at Minwoo's fallen figure and how the slightly younger cringed in pain, eyes watering. Donghyun turned back when he realised the twins' faces were more serious than it should have been if Minwoo was just pushed away.

“, Minwoo, no, I didn't mean it!” Donghyun widened his eyes and hurriedly tried to reverse whatever he had done. “, I'm so sorry!”

Minwoo bit his lower lip and winced while Donghyun fussed for some first-aid around their dormitory (“Hell, what the heck am I gonna tell the manager?”), the leader showing an exceptionally clumsy side as he panicked. The youngest of them all looked up to the twins who were at a loss as to what they should be doing, and then smiled brightly.

“Run.”

“We owe you this.” Kwangmin smiled back in a second, holding out a thumbs-up as he took Youngmin's hand. “Definitely an actor.”

Youngmin wasn't sure if the fingers intertwined with his made him happy, or the fact that the word Kwangmin used was “we”. He let Kwangmin drag him out of the dormitory, reminding himself that he should let Kwangmin do this more often.

Maybe they could spend today recollecting how they were attached at the hips since forever but recently aren't.

-

Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Coming back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

-

Youngmin cautiously brushed the stray hair away from Kwangmin's face, hurriedly withdrawing his hand when the younger stirred.

He then leaned back and looked around to see if anyone noticed what he did. Jeongmin snickered.

Well, he could probably live with Jeongmin's teasing.

“You guys are cute.” Jeongmin said quietly, even though the grin never left his face. Maybe it was the fatigue of their schedules drawing energy away from the usually loud member. “Makes me wish I had a twin too.”

Youngmin smiled softly back. He was glad he had a twin, but he hadn't thought others without one would want one too.

“You know, two people with this awesome face right here.” Jeongmin laughed, enjoying his little joke until he felt a kick from behind. “Right, I'm sorry, I'll be quiet.”

Youngmin shook his head and chuckled a little, not wanting to piss Hyunseong off since he was always a little more grumpy when you disturb him from his much needed rest.

It was six months after debut, which meant two singles, an official fan club and another single all ready to be released. That's about four dance choreographies that Youngmin was struggling with, not to mention extra dance practices just in case he was asked to freestyle on the variety shows lined up for them, the “up-and-coming” boy group for 2011.

Youngmin was tired. And that was probably the worst case of an understatement. He could feel his soul dragging his body around, and while everyone who saw him told him he was too skinny, he definitely feels heavy. He would mutter it under his breath, saying things like “I'm exhausted” and “I needed a good holiday, not more schedules”. He does so knowing it would annoy the other members because everyone was in the same state, but does it anyway.

Kwangmin would give him a small squeeze, his hand, his wrist, his shoulder, anywhere, a small squeeze. Youngmin thinks maybe that's why he keeps doing it.

Donghyun will get all irritated though, probably not quite satisfied with how their unresolved argument went. But he was the leader, and he knew better than to hold a grudge. (And maybe Minwoo kept giving excuses for him, maybe.)

“Aren't you tired?” A voice quietly asked, and Youngmin turned to his twin who had his eyes closed. “You should try to sleep.”

“Did I wake you?” Youngmin whispered back, then checking if he was disturbing anyone. Jeongmin had his earphones plugged in while staring out of the car, while Minwoo and Hyunseong were sleeping soundly at the back (minus the random noises from Minwoo once in a while). Donghyun was knocked out in the passenger seat next to their driving manager, so every other Boyfriend member pretty much couldn't hear them.

“Minwoo did.” Kwangmin yawned, then giving up on trying to go back to sleep. “How far till the dorm?”

“Twenty.” Their manager replied, turning his head back when he reached a junction. “You guys should try to sleep like the rest, we're coming back out in four hours.”

“What he said.” Kwangmin nudged Youngmin gently, watching his wide-eyed twin.

“I guess I'm tired, but when I'm asked to sleep, it just doesn't quite come.” Youngmin sighed, playing with his fingers knowing Kwangmin's eyes were on him. “On days like these, I wonder why I chose this path.”

Kwangmin pursed his lips for a second,  guiding Youngmin's head gently towards his shoulder. The older twin then readjusted his position to comfortably lay on Kwangmin's shoulder, a soft smile planted on his face. Wordlessly, Kwangmin reached for Youngmin's cold hands and warmed them with his own, humming a low lullaby.

Youngmin wouldn't tell that he sometimes throw tantrums only because he knew Kwangmin would try to comfort him. Kwangmin gave his cold hands a squeeze, as if he already knew.

-

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside of me

-

It's been a while, almost two years after debut. They haven't made a name for themselves in the industry, and their company is ready to throw them out across the sea.

At least in Japan, they'd bring back the dough.

It was a difficult time. Lost motivation and lost hope sometimes plague their minds as they prepare for yet another Japan album. When can they return to Korea? Will they be able to return to Korea?

Japan was nice and all but language barriers and being so far away from home was still too much to ask of the underaged members. Even Minwoo wakes up with red-rimmed eyes after smiling away for yet another interview.

And he was the most fluent member.

Granted, Youngmin didn't try hard enough. Other than the fact that Minwoo's just smarter than them, he didn't really put in a lot of effort to learn the language. He figured they'd be there for a while, promote a bit and flown back to Korea soon enough. He was going to forget the language anyway, so there's no real need to learn, right?

“What do you mean we're going to be here for another few months?” Donghyun snapped, glaring at anything that came in sight as he held the dormitory's phone to his ears. “And don't you have the decency to discuss these things with us, face-to-face?”

There were further exchanges across the phone line, but all the members could hear was the leader's angry words.

“What the hell do you mean by no current plans for Boyfriend in Korea?”

“Why the hell do we have to stay here anyway? All these interviews aren't even consequential and they don't even pay well!”

“You guys will break Minwoo one day, and the day he goes crazy, we won't have any spokesperson left for Boyfriend in Japan. If you know how to play your cards right, you'd fly us back to Korea this very minute.”

Minwoo chewed on his lower lip nervously,  visibly homesick.

“Yeah, yeah, all that stupid crap. Do you guys even know Jeongmin's got indigestion from us eating out so often? He's gonna get appendicitis one day, I'm no doctor, but that day will come. Mark my words.”

Jeongmin flinched, face pale from cutting down his food intake due to the said problem. It's like their leader was cursing at him but at the same time trying to save him.

“The other members? Well, why don't you come see for yourself? Or you can save yourself the trouble and send us 6 plane tickets.”

Kwangmin tried a smile, shaking Youngmin out of his trance.

“It'll be okay.” Kwangmin whispered, even though the scene around them was like everyone became mentally unstable.

Hyunseong was obsessing over the way to peel an apple properly at the side like it was the most normal thing to do in the situation.

Youngmin's eyes welled up with tears he didn't know gathered, but Kwangmin didn't let it fall.

“It'll be okay.”

-

And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

-

“We'll be together, always, and so everything will be okay.”

It became an unspoken promise.

Youngmin got through a lot because Kwangmin was there, and he always wondered what he could offer to his twin in return. It was like Kwangmin was that voice of sanity in people. Everyone has one, but Kwangmin materialised as his twin.

So when Kwangmin got insecure, got afraid, Youngmin was surprised. He was surprised, but he was glad.

He could finally be the pillar of support for Kwangmin like the younger always was for him.

Every single day, they were another day closer to their comeback.

Youngmin was excited. Finally. Everyone mirrored his hope, except his twin.

“What if there are no fans left?” Kwangmin's sleepless eyes spoke, the frown upon his eyebrows adding worry to those voiceless words.

So Youngmin read them with ease, and wondered if this was how Kwangmin usually reads him. This insecurity was so loud it was literally screaming at him, and Youngmin wanted to do everything he can for Kwangmin in return. It was as plain as a font 40 Times New Roman text to him, but Hyunseong stared weirdly at the two of them, inquiring out loud if there was something wrong with the younger twin's face.

“Twin telepathy.” Jeongmin whispered with a wry smile, guiding the curious member away.

He extended his arms, he watched the younger bite his lower lip hesitantly. He took a step forward, he waited for the younger to shift.

Forward. Towards him.

This was going to be awkward for the younger, as it's supposed to be for him. But he wanted to do this for a very long time now, only waiting for the other to notice.

All meaning is lost when things are said verbally, afterall.

They haven't done this in a while. Youngmin felt his arteries swell in anticipation, the blood rush so much more apparent.

Kwangmin stiff facial expression crumbled,  his feet pushing off forward into the waiting arms. His tears welled up, his voice choked up, but the familiar warmth provided a comfort he didn't know was possible. As if something was cushioning him from his fall, a shield to the clenching of his heart that ached so bad.

The younger twin buried his head into the crook of Youngmin's neck, and the tight hold that went around his back pressed their hearts so much closer.

The heart that beat of anxiety.

The heart that beat so loudly.

The heart that beat beside him ever since he was just a clump of cells, in the same rhythm.

“It'll be okay.”

-

Yesterday is history

Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you looking back at me

Keep your eyes on me

Baby, keep your eyes on me

-

Somewhere along the way when they lost their teenage years to their dreams, Youngmin realised his affection for his brother fell. Gone were the pecks on cheeks and overly-invasive hugs, and they even draw their hands back when their hands touch nowadays.

Was it the adult side of him taking over?

Was it society?

Youngmin watched his brother from afar as the news played back in his head. Things were happening to Kwangmin, and it didn’t sound good.

“I’ll carry it.”

“He can’t.”

“I can.”

He watched Kwangmin’s eyes dulled, the words in them so ironically clear. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“I can carry it.”

“I can.”

“I can.”

Youngmin hears every word drip of desperateness.

You’re gonna die under the weight. Kwangmin’s trembling voice stopped Youngmin in his tracks. He didn’t say those words, but Youngmin heard them anyway.

Kwangmin was crying.

It was conflicting. Kwangmin had a sprained ankle and carrying his 20kg load was all but the most obvious course of action for him. But then he cried because of that, and suddenly Youngmin had to weigh whether causing Kwangmin physical pain or emotional pain was the better option.

You idiot. Youngmin stared as Kwangmin wore his bag again, hiding the slight wince his facial expression let on. “Just rely on me.”

Youngmin reached for his younger brother’s hand, the sudden warmth comforting even under layers of clothes and a burning hot sun.

His affection did fell.

But love never changes.

And only because so, that they both wished to lessen the pain on the other with whatever they could burden themselves with.

I love you.

It’s not so easy to say it out anymore. Words of love linger at the tip of their tongue, and Youngmin squeezed Kwangmin’s hand tighter if only to telepathically send the message.

He felt a short squeeze back, then turning to look at his brother trudging alongside him.

Youngmin watches as Kwangmin walked, thanking his mother for the umpteenth time. Kwangmin wonders if Youngmin feels the same - because he's glad he wasn't born alone.

--

Started writing this from way back in time but never finished it because the lyrics got harder at the end.
I took out two verses instead of forcing a story.

Hope you guys liked it ^___^
Didn't wanna deal with too many issues so it's just brotherly love eheheh.
Song is way too applicable for our twins <3