[CONTENTID1] Forever [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]I could still remember how it felt. 

The moment I saw his coffin, his lifeless body. 

But, I couldn't do anything about it. He was gone, forever. The amount of fans that were there made me jealous, they could give him the attention that I wanted to give him. I could only say what I wanted to say after they all left, with his family casting me looks, pitiful and some, hateful. I knew they despised me for my background, and that I couldn't give him the happiness they expected me to provide. I guess, there's nothing for me to give anymore.

I knelt down in front of his tombstone. The weather was the typical gloomy day, the cliche weather you'd see or watch in books and movies. There was a slight breeze, and I wrapped my black cardigan tighter around me. How I crave your touch, I thought, as the tears dripped onto his name. He was my first love, many might think that I only wanted him for his money and fame, but it was the total opposite. I hated his fame, not much I could do about it now. 

The days following were torturous. His birthday was one of them. When I got there, it was already filled with countless flowers. Those more extravagant and expensive, making mine pale in comparison. I gave a small smile as I left, and visited all the places that we used to go on secret dates. It was scary, but you'd enjoy anything as long as you get to spend it with your loved one. 

Christmas came. Awful. I had no family of my own here, they all either lived somewhere far or passed away in the recent years. I would always get to spend it with him, even if it were for a few hours. I worked for the ent