Sehun x Ara

Shanghai, Seoul, London, New York, wherever I went he was always in my mind. The way his black locks would scrunch up in my hand, or the way he always assured me that everything was going to be alright. All those painful yet beautiful memories were all just so, well... strong.

I couldn't get him off my mind, and yet I always found myself scrolling to find his name on my phone once again. "How pathetic am I?" I thought to myself. He left me, he left me to fend for myself, he left me for one stupid career fifty thousand miles away in a different country.

Yet I always wonder to myself, do I ever cross his mind? Do I still have a place in his heart, mind or soul? And does he still feel the same about me as I do to him? All those questions tend to fill my mind each and every single day, down to the last remaining minutes.

As I stare off into the distance I feel my face begin to numb from the cold winding winds of this chilly December morning. Would it hurt if I decided to jump off this building right now? Or would loving him cause me more pain, more sorrow, more... everything.

By now it would have already been half past one in his country, but here time seemed to just have stopped. Days seem like an infinity, hours come down to longing and seconds seem to just stop, yet I'm still moping. Moping like an idiot.

People tell me to get over him, they say he’s just some pretty boy who became famous over night. However he was more than that he was a part of me, he was the missing key to the locked door, he was the sun and I was the moon. Without him I can't function properly, it is really stupid of me to act like this over one mere boy. But I just can't help myself, after all those long nights and mornings in his bed I just can't erase him like everyone else wanted me to.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

This morning I heard that he had found someone new, he had found someone to replace me. Were all those years being together worth nothing to him? Was I worth nothing to him, now? Letting out a laugh I sighed, this was the one thing I had hoped would never happen. Call me selfish, but this pang in my heart, this bullet to the brain is something of which I cannot understand.

Was I not good enough for him? Was all the time that I spent on him just a waste of my time? Did the love that we share not imprint him?

Looking down I could see the city life, and looking up I could see the stars. Would I shine like a star after I left? Would I be remembered like them? Then looking down again I began to think, that three hundred feet drop to the bottom didn't seem so scary anymore. In fact it seemed comforting, it was only three hundred feet separating myself from death. One simple push off this ledge, and I could be free from this painful world.

Closing my eyes I began to weigh my options, I had no one left to care for me. For they have already left, I no longer have the freedom to do as I pleased as the world constantly aimed for those like me. If I left I know no one would be there for my funeral as I would not have one at all. Opening my eyes I felt a tear drop slowly run down my left cheek, so this was really it wasn't it? Pulling out my phone I decided to send out one last message before I left, I had to tell him how I really felt I just had to.

Phone : (xxx) xxx-xxxx

ID : Sehun

Message :

Ah hey Sehun it's me Ara . I just wanted to let you know that no matter what happens after this I just wanted you to know that I always loved you and I will never stop. So please live a happy life, but most importantly please remember me. Remember the way I would hold your hand, remember the way I would run my fingers through your endless hair, but mostly please remember the way I loved you. I still truly do.

Clicking the send button, I let out the breath that I didn't even know that I had held while typing that. Checking the date and time one last time I tried to blink away the forming tears.

December 31st, 2014 23:58:01

It was New Year's Eve, in less than two minutes the new year would have come and I would have already left. Kissing my phone I placed it next to me and I slowly inched forward, three inches is what separated me from falling off this ledge. Moving forward once again I looked down. This was it one more inch and I would be able to feel no more pain. Closing my eyes I pushed myself off the three hundred foot ledge, the last thing I remembered before everything vanished was the way I dropped. I just dropped and that was the last of what I remembered.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

                People always told me as I grew to never ever fall in love. I never understood them, they were all such hypocrites. I mean they all were married, yet they were telling me not to fall in love? What hypocrites.

            But a few years after that phase I learned what they truly meant. Love could drive a person crazy. Like a drug love was an overdose, too much and it could hurt. Too little and you would want more. There was no correct dose of it, you either fell in love too much, or not enough.

            I realized that with Sehun I felt more alive. However the emotion that I thought was love, was actually obsession. I became so dependent on Sehun that life without him would be horrible, there was no point in me living without him with me. The light that was shed on me and Sehun, however died out too quickly.

            And yet, I’m still here waiting.

Author's Note : Hello it's me Smarters and I hoped you guys enjoyed my scenario with Sehun from Exo. I really enjoy their music and made this one-shot for my cousin Angel! I hope you guys enjoyed it and please tell me whether or not you guys would like a sequel thank you!