To Soojung, Jongin is everything.

The first day they met was when little trainee Soojung hides in the empty renovated room where no one was there at the time and Jongin was lost because he thought it was the practice room since he was so clueless and new.

            “Why are you here?” he asked.

            “Who are you?” she snorted. “Why are you even here”

            He scratched the back of his head as he looked around. “I’m lost, how about you?”

            She sighed. She wasn’t sure of him at first but somehow she managed to open up to him.

            “The teacher wants me to go out since I have nothing to show. He said I’m not talented enough to be here” told Soojung as she pulled her knees closer to her chest.

            Jongin approached her and offered his hand, “I’m Jongin, I don’t know who you are, but I’m sure you’re talented.” He grinned, “if you don’t have one I’m sure you’re not going to be here in the first place, so let’s go to the practice room and practice together, we can help each other!”

Since then they became friends. Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday they would meet at the practice room and practice together and they did that for almost 3 years until Soojung finally debuted as a member of f(x) while Jongin is still a trainee. But that doesn’t really affect their friendship.

Jongin watched the first performance of f(x) with Soojung’s parents and sister, Jessica. The night before her first performance both Soojung and Jongin couldn’t go to sleep.

            “Yah, I’m the one who’s going to debut, I should be the one who is nervous, not you!” she said talking on the phone even though it’s late.

            “I don’t know Soojung, I feel like I’m going to send my kids to their first day of school or something, I don’t know why I said that because clearly I don’t even have a kid and – yah! It’s 3:27 AM you should go to sleep! You’re going to be really tired if you don’t go to sleep now”

She knew Jongin is sleepy headed and the fact he stayed up all night with her, she also knew that Jongin is genuinely worried about her.  “I’ll be fine Jongin, let’s go to sleep we both really need a rest and see you tomorrow”

            “I know you’ll be fine, because I’ll be there”

            Soojung just wanted to punch him in the face for being cheesy yet she accepting what he just stated. Because it’s true, whenever Jongin’s around her, everything goes the way it supposed to be.

When Soojung first scandal came out (Soojung was pointed for her ‘rude’ attitude because she didn’t smile when everyone else did on a quiz show) Jongin came to her dorms even though he knew he shouldn’t be there but he insisted since he also knew that she’s not the tough person everyone thought she would be. He bought her snacks and gave her a warm hug as soon as she opened the door for him. He can tell she had been crying all day since the news came out and it made him sad to see her like this, she must be shocked from the negative comments and it was her first time getting so much hate from stranger. She told him that she wasn’t being rude on the show, she was just tired and she had nauseas since that morning so she didn’t feel well that day, and she did smile on the show, just not at that time.

            “I’m sure you’re not being rude. It’s just that you have a straight face so people mistakenly took you for being rude.” He smiled at her and shoved a mandu to “Eat this so you don’t feel sad, I don’t really like seeing you like this but-Yah! Don’t bite my hands! Oh god, I forgot you can eat everything, I forgot my friend is a monster dressed like a member of a girl group”

            “Jongin, that’s mean” she pouted. “You always mock me, I hate being around you”

            Jongin shoved another mandu to . “Don’t lie, I know you love me as much as you love your Lego collection” he said, earning a smack from Soojung.

Everything she does in her life always remind her of Jongin. They’re always together it feels like even in after life they would still remain like this. Soojung celebrated f(x)’s first win on music program, her drama debut and her first solo song with Jongin. He always believes that there’s so many thing they can achieve together. And just like that he debuted as a member of 12-member boy group who (he said) came from planet EXO.

            “That’s just stupid and embarrassing. But it does matches your personality since you look and talk like an alien; you do know that sometimes I can’t keep up with your mental level right?” she said as she stopped laughing.

“But despite everything you do, I know you will do well and you will always have me behind your back supporting you”

Soojung and Jongin became very cautious of their action even though they’re both just best friends but people can easily misunderstand their relationship. Soojung knows how much effort he put for his place right now and she doesn’t want to ruin it for him, and the same goes to Jongin.

EXO was a huge hit when they first came out. Soojung was there when they held a showcase. He always told her that dancing is his life, and she believes it. Seeing him on stage was very pleasant scenery for Soojung and she almost couldn’t believe on what’s happening in their life. That night they met at Soojung’s small apartment (Jessica was going to buy her a very expensive loft but Soojung didn’t want it and found a place near their parent’s house a small yet decent apartment so she can live by herself) and Jongin couldn’t stop smiling, he was all giddy and dazzled from all the new things he just experienced.

            “ I’m so happy Soojung”

            She smiled, “I know”

He pulled her into a warm embrace and buried his face in her hair. “I want to stay like this for a very long time, I’m not going to say forever because I know life has ups and downs and maybe someday I won’t be doing what I’m doing right now, I just wish every moment in my life will always revolves around you”

He cupped her face and lean in as he planted a kiss on her soft plump lips. Soojung was startled at first but she was comfortable in his embrace and kissed him back. They both laughed between the kissed as they just realized what they’re doing is not normal for best friends.

            “God I love you so much it’s almost impossible to believe” he said as he stole another kiss.  “You’re always be mine soojung, back then, today and later on you’ll always be mine”

            “Said who?” she said mocking him

            “Said your best boyfriend ever!” he stated as he wrapped his hand around her again and squeezed her. “But, seriously if you try to find another man I’ll be upset and will destroy your Lego and your brand new vinyl player”

            “So you’re my boyfriend now?”

            Jongin let her go and gave her worried look. “What, you don’t want me to?”

            “Jongin I..” she lowered her head and pulled the hem of his shirt. “love you too, and of course I want you to be my boyfriend”

She laughed so hard when he saw Jongin worried face; he looked like a lost puppy when he’s worried like that. “Did I get you?” she laughed even harder. Jongin laughed and tickled her as a payback.

Since then they are a couple, up until now they still are a couple. But being an Idol it’s not easy to go on a date and meet every weekend like a normal couple would do. They made a promise to meet at least once a month and always stayed in touch. It’s hard, but their love is strong enough to overcome the struggle.

Soojung is busy but Jongin is busier.

Not to mention the life they are living are always involved with reporters, paparazzi and crazy fans. Sometimes it’s hard for Soojung. She knows how crazy Jongin’s fans can be at the time, whenever they are on stage together like in SMTOWN concert they would avoid each other so the fans will not suspect them and every time they have schedule together they can only see each other from a meter away. It is pathetic, but they at least thankful they can see each other once in a while to break their longing.

In every relationship things don’t always go smoothly. And so does their relationship. It was one night when Jongin stayed at her apartment and all he did was sleeping when all Soojung wanted was to watch movies together, she wanted to spend their free time doing something and communicating instead of hearing him snoring.

            “I really can’t do this Jongin” she said as she turned off the TV.

            “Sorry Soojung, I’m just so tired, you know I’ve been preparing for my first concert, I stayed up for 3 days in a row dancing and singing that my waist hurts so much right now you don’t even know”

Soojung knew that, the fact jongin always has had a problem with his waist since before debut always worries her. She knew that day she was just being selfish and it bothered her. “Okay I’m sorry, I’m tired too, I’m going to bed now” she said as she stood up and went to her bed, “you’re staying right?”

She wrapped herself with her blanket as she turned over facing the wall. She hated herself for being selfish. She missed him so much she didn’t want any second wasted, she was also tired, but she knew if she continued to argue with him that night it will ended up with them yelling at each other and went to bed alone.

Soojung was mad, but she couldn’t do anything. She closed her eyes and tried her best not to cry but tears were already streaming down her face. She wiped it as soon as possible so he won’t notice. She tried to go to sleep but her mind and heart won’t let her rest. She can’t help but feeling needy all the time. She’s not an open book so she only trusted few numbers of people in her life and one of them is Jongin. Soojung needed him to understand and Jongin needed her to be more patience. That’s always the case.

Suddenly she felt his arms around her waist as he kissed the top of her head. He slowly turned her over to face him but she refused to do so. He understood. When he texted her yesterday saying that he’s coming over and promise to meet her, he knew Soojung expected something more than just watching movies (or him sleeping during the movies) but he can’t really do much with his condition right now.

            “Jung Soojung, I know you’re mad at me. I’m sorry and I hope you would stop crying because you’re going to have puffy eyes tomorrow morning which makes you look like sad panda” he let out dry laugh to make the situation less intense but turned out he only made a fool out of himself. “Okay I’m sorry I’m not funny. But I’m being sincere right here. I’m sorry I can’t take you out today, or any other day because our schedule always crashed, I’m sorry soojung you can’t have a normal date where the guy usually bring his girlfriend to the zoo or maybe to the cinema or just hang out at Hongdae while eating your favorite snacks.”

He caressed her hair and slowly turned her over as she finally let him. She buried her face into his chest and cried even more. “I’m sorry Jongin”

            “Hey Soojung, I love you, and I always will. We’re chasing our dreams together and we’re getting through so many obstacles together. There’ll be times when you feels like giving up on me, but that doesn’t make me worry because I know no matter what the situation is I know we’re going to be fine, as a couple or maybe just as a friend. I’m not saying I want it to happen but you know life’s full of surprises, we need to trust each other and don’t let our self ego comes between us. I love you, I don’t want to lose you, please have faith in us, we can do it Soojung, me and you.”

            That night after they talked both of them stayed up late because both of them suddenly couldn’t go to sleep. “Oh god I almost forgot!” he went to the sofa to grab his backpack and let out a small box.

            “What’s with the small box, you’re making me nervous Jongin, are you going to propose me or something after all of that things you’ve had just said?”

            Jongin smiled, “We’re only 21 Soojung, I bought us couple ring-“ she chuckled as she looked at him weirdly “get your expression right or I’m going to return this ring”

She laughed and smiled. Even though she looked horrible with her puffy eyes and she’s tired as hell, being with Jongin always bring her joy. Well not for the first two hours. “Okay, okay Kim Jongin”

            He put the ring into her pinky finger “yours has my name inside it, and I’m putting it on your pinky finger because it’s like a pinky promise for us to always be together no matter what”

            “What if people suspect it?”

            “You don’t have to wear it all the time, just don’t lose it” he tilted his head as he pouted, “please?”

She couldn’t help but to shower him with kisses when he’s that adorable.  

Life’s good and EXO’s doing very well. Soojung’s happy and Jongin’s happier.

But we all know nothing’s really lasts forever.

It started when 2 of EXO members left the group, f(x)’s Red Light promotion was really put into a red light, Jinri sudden hiatus, Soojung’s sister, Jessica was ‘kicked out’ of the group, Soojung and Jongin can only hug each other and pray that everything will go well for both of them.

But then Soojung had too many works she keep losing her stamina. Every time she’s on stage at SMTOWN concert, jongin always watch her from the monitor, even though her dance lacked of energy these days he knows she still giving her best to her fans by giving them smiles. But Jongin heart almost fell when he started noticing Soojung having a hard time on stage while performing red light, her movements became unstable and it looks like she’s having a bad time trying to catch her breath. Jongin heart really does sunk in when he saw her fainted on the stair and got carried by her manager.

It wasn’t the first time but it always made him horrible, seeing the person you truly love having a hard time.

            “Please be strong, Soojung” he said as he gripped her hand.

            “I am Jongin” she smiled, “And so are you” she tightened her grip as well.

Jongin had his comebacks. Their music and their choreography improved as their album pleases everyone that has been following them. But everything is so intense for Jongin. He felt like his group slowly falling apart, with the departure of the 2 Chinese members at the beginning, now it seems like everyone’s ready to go their own way. Soojung is still preparing for her new album but even though she’s busy she always have time for Jongin, especially when she knows Jongin’s not in his best condition right now.

            “Oh hi Jongin, when did you come? I didn’t even hear you coming” she walked out from the kitchen to approach him and gave him a peck. “Have you eat yet? I made donkatsu kimbap and there’s also leftover beef stew my mom made last night, did I tell you she came here last night? Oh well, you want to eat right? Let me get you-“

            “Soojung”

            She looked at him. He was holding a document and she can tell he got news for her.  He placed the document on her dinner table. Her face stiffened, she saw the document as she realized it was from the hospital. Soojung hoped Jongin’s okay.

            “I can’t dance anymore,” he said, looking at her.

            “Oh no, Jongin” she rushed to him and hugged him. “It’s temporary right? You still can dance, nothing can stop you from dancing, I know, I know, I know Jongin, there must be some way for you to dance”

Jongin closed his eyes. Earlier when he was at the hospital, after he met his doctor he sat at the waiting room looking at the document. Dancing is the only thing that keeps him alive. Both of them know that very well. The thought of Jongin without dancing is very far away from expectation.

Tears rolled down his cheek. He tightened the hug and cries even more. Soojung patted his back as she tried to hold back her tears, which is really hard for her because she knows Jongin’s career will stop at some point. She can’t, no; she doesn’t want to see him like this. Jongin needs to be happy, and dancing is one of his happiness.

            “Jongin,” she cupped his face and wiped his tears. He kept looking down even though she wants him to look at her. “I know you’re strong and I know we can get through this together, I will find a doctor to heal your waist and maybe you can dance again, I beg you to rest for the whole year, if it’s too long then maybe 3-4 months, you always practiced so hard you don’t even realize you’re damaging your own body. Please get some rest. We will find a way for you to dance again, because I know how dancing means a lot to you.”

            “I love you Jongin, you can do this. Please be strong”

Jongin did listen to Soojung and took a year off. He would sometimes do photo shoot, cf or variety shows but he only took the easy one which didn’t require much actions.

A year passed and there’s still no chance for Jongin to dance like he used to. But for Jongin, it is okay. At first he was so mad he locked himself out from everyone including Soojung. They lost contact for almost a month until one day Soojung came to his room and begged him to face the struggle together.

“…..I love you, I don’t want to lose you, please have faith in us, we can do it Jongin, me and you”

He then got used to his current condition, he dance once in a while to flex his muscles and he find it all of this is surprisingly relaxing.

To Jongin, because of Soojung who always support him, he grew even stronger. Maybe Soojung might look careless in people’s eyes, but no, from Jongin point of view she’s very caring, thoughtful and full of responsibilities.

Every ups and down, they still manage to be together and it amazes both of them. Jongin even pushed her away when he was depressed but still they(mostly her) outcome it. Soojung loves him so much to the point there’s no other space in her heart for someone to take, and the same goes to Jongin. He felt so bad he did such stupid and careless things to her and broke her heart so many times even though she always denied that. He promise himself he’s going to give her all of him because even though it’s not enough, that’s the only thing he can offer to her.

To Jongin, Soojung is his other half. All his life trying to find his missing pieces and now he found it.

The answer is always have been Soojung.