Taehyung was lounging on the sofa, fooling around with his phone, when his roommate came in dragging an ultimatum behind him one Saturday afternoon.

“Taehyung,” began Namjoon as he placed the object at the younger man’s outstretched feet. “Do you know what this is?”

“Uh… a laundry hamper?” replied Taehyung, looking up from his game.

It was indeed a white plastic bin, and Taehyung was correct in his assumption that it was to be used as a receptacle for dirty clothes. Namjoon explained that he was sick of seeing the other man’s discarded garments scattered around the apartment, so he had bought the hamper in an effort to help Taehyung be a bit cleanlier.

“You put your clothes in here at the end of the day, and then I don’t have to wake up to find your used shirts on my bedroom floor,” finished Namjoon.

Taehyung nodded in agreement. He hadn’t even realized that this was a habit his roommate was annoyed by, but looking back he could recall several occasions on which his boxers had somehow ended up on the coffee table instead of the pile that was usually in the corner of his room. Hopefully having the laundry basket would make things look a bit neater and more organized in the apartment, so Taehyung dutifully put the empty bin in his room, and vowed to start using it immediately.

❧

That night, Taehyung stripped himself of his tee-shirt and jeans, and threw them at the open hamper before heading down the hall to brush his teeth. On his way back from the bathroom, Namjoon stopped him in the hall.

“Tae. Clothes. Hamper,” he reminded gently.

The younger man could have sworn he had remembered to put the clothes in his new basket, but when he got back to his room, he could see through the open door that the shirt and pants were both on the floor. Assuming he had missed his throw the first time, Taehyung scooped them up and made a point of dropping them securely in the hamper before closing the lid and hopping into bed. He quickly fell sound asleep, content with the fact that he had taken steps to making a change in his routine that would benefit both himself and his roommate.

His good mood was tested the next morning when he was awoken by a heavy piece of fabric hitting him squarely in the face.

“Taehyung!” snapped a voice.

The young man pulled the cloth off of his eyes to see a half-asleep Namjoon hovering over the bed with crossed arms and a snarl on his face.

“Why were your jeans on my bed this morning?” grumbled the older man.

Taehyung looked at the pair of pants in his own hands, convinced that he had put them in the hamper last night as Namjoon had asked. His bewildered expression wasn’t enough of an answer for Namjoon, though, and the older man tugged on Taehyung’s arm until the latter got out of bed, still in his boxers from last night, and stood to see the laundry hamper - empty and propped open against the wall.

“Come on, dude; I even told you again last night,” sighed Namjoon, more groggy than annoyed.

Rubbing his eyes, Taehyung saw the shirt he had worn yesterday still lying on his bedroom floor next to the vacant hamper, although he was almost certain he had picked it up last night after Namjoon reminded him to.

“Sorry; I could’ve sworn I put them in there,” mumbled Taehyung.\

He was about to drop them back in the hamper when Namjoon stopped him, lugging a basket full of his own dirty clothes in from the hallway.

“Don’t bother with that now; it’s laundry day anyway,” said the older man. “I have no idea how you managed to mistake my mattress for a goddamn laundry hamper, but I’ll forget it ever happened if you do my clothes this week.”

That was a deal that Taehyung felt happy to accept, and after a quick breakfast and a few minutes to round up his own scattered piles of laundry that still littered the rest of the apartment, the young man went down into the basement where the washers and dryers were kept.

❧

In the bowels of the apartment building, Taehyung got to work locating an open machine, which he stuffed the lighter-colored clothes into first, saving the darks for the next cycle. He dug around in his pocket for some quarters, and started the wash cycle before leaning back against the tiled wall.

Although most of the machines were in use, none of the other residents of his and Namjoon’s little block of apartments seemed to be around at the moment. Taehyung decided to take the opportunity to have a few seconds to himself; his only company the soft whirring and gushing of the washer as it cleaned his and his roommate’s clothes. The young man closed his eyes.

“I’m sure I put those stupid pants in the hamper,” he muttered out loud to the empty room.

The tee-shirt he could believe he had missed and accidentally left on the floor of his own room, but the pants on Namjoon’s mattress were a slightly different story. Taehyung hadn’t been in his roommate’s bedroom at all yesterday night, and the last he had even seen of Namjoon was in the hallway when the older man had reprimanded him for not putting his clothes in the hamper. And Taehyung was sure that he had gone back to his room and done just that, so how could the pants have ended up anywhere else?

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud beep, and one of Taehyung’s neighbors entered the room to unload and fold his own load of laundry. Aware that he had been talking to himself - and not wanting to seem too overly insane - Taehyung tried somewhat awkwardly to make conversation with the young man, whom he remembered was named Jimin and who lived a floor above him and Namjoon. After they had talked about the weather and other unimportant pleasantries for a couple of minutes, Taehyung brought up the funny story of the laundry hamper.

“So my roommate, Namjoon, is trying to get me to be more organized,” he laughed nervously as he watched Jimin fold a pair of sweatpants. “He bought me a hamper for my dirty clothes, but I’ve been having a bit of trouble remembering to actually use it.”

“How so?” asked Jimin, only vaguely listening as he picked up his basket.

“Well, actually, I could have sworn I put my clothes in it last night, but when I woke up this morning they weren’t in there. I don’t know how they got out…”

“You could have been sleepwalking,” suggested Jimin with a chuckle as he left the room. “Maybe you should think about getting that checked out.”

❧

Taehyung slapped his own head as soon as Jimin had rounded the corner.

Of course!

The answer was so obvious. It had been months since his last episode, but Taehyung had been very prone to sleepwalking as a young child. It had only happened a handful of times in adulthood, but he could very clearly recall the morning after the last time an incident had occurred. Namjoon and he had just moved into their new apartment - the one they were living in now - and the older man had informed Taehyung after their first night there that the latter had spent most of the early morning hooting like an owl as he sat perched atop the kitchen counter. Taehyung, of course, remembered none of this, but the look on Namjoon’s face had told him that his friend was telling the truth, and besides, it fit with his previously established patterns from when he was a young boy.

Confident that he had stumbled upon the answer, Taehyung quickly finished up the other load of laundry and brought the basket of folded clothes back up to his apartment to find Namjoon flicking through channels on the TV.

“Namjoon, I’ve figured it out!” announced Taehyung assuredly. “Last night I was sleepwalking, and that’s how my pants got from my hamper to your room.”

“Huh,” replied Namjoon. “That would make sense, I guess. Just… try to not let it happen again.” He returned to clicking repeatedly at the buttons on the remote. “Thanks for doing the laundry, by the way.”

❧

Before bedtime that night, Taehyung dug out his old CD of “Relaxing Nature Sounds” in an attempt to prevent himself from sleepwalking again. Listening to it had helped him kick the habit as a child, so he assumed and hoped that it would be able to accomplish the same thing now. He set the volume on his little bedside radio to a low frequency so it wouldn’t disturb Namjoon, and took a couple of deep breaths as the artificial pitter patter of rain gradually filled the quiet room.

Taehyung went about getting ready for bed, focusing on being calm and sleepy, and by the time he was prepared to go to sleep, he was so busy yawning that he nearly forgot to put his clothes in the hamper.

“Whoops,” he sighed dreamily as he opened the lid. He dumped his discarded shirt and pants in the bin before patting the top of the hamper. “You guys are staying in there tonight, okay?”

He crawled into bed and again slipped into a restful sleep.

In the morning, Taehyung woke up refreshed and certain that he had slept through the night without incident - which is why he was so shocked to see Namjoon, arms crossed, when he entered the kitchen the next day. The older man looked like he had been standing in the middle of the tiled floor for quite a while as he waited for Taehyung to get up, and the former wasn’t in the best of moods.

“Taehyung, do you care to explain this?”

Namjoon swung the door to one of the cabinets open as he spoke, revealing a not-so-neatly folded pair of socks sitting on top of the dishes. Taehyung’s mouth hung open as he looked from the socks to Namjoon’s frowning face, which was set in an expression somewhere between tiredness and contempt.

“I know you can’t help it that you sleepwalk sometimes, but this is disgusting,” growled Namjoon as he removed the plate holding the generous serving of smelly socks. “You need to find a way to get this under control before a pair of your underwear ends up in the orange juice.”

Taehyung promised that he would try again that night, and begged Namjoon to give him another chance to handle the problem on his own. Namjoon agreed, although he didn’t seem very happy about it.

“I don’t know why this is happening all of a sudden,” sighed the older man. “You haven’t had this problem since we moved here, and now as soon as I get you a new laundry hamper your subconscious starts to rebel and make you leave your crap all over the apartment.”

He shook his head as he left the room to get ready for work, leaving Taehyung to mull over how to take care of the sleepwalking issue that was starting to become more and more bothersome. He had nothing to do except try again that night, so he decided to see if using a pair of headphones to allow him to listen to the music a little louder would make a difference.

❧

That night, after making sure that he remembered to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and even putting a heavy book on top of the lid for good measure, Taehyung settled down to sleep as the calming sounds of the ocean practically assaulted his ears.

Unfortunately, the young man discovered that he couldn’t fall asleep. No matter which way he twisted or turned, he wasn’t able to find a position comfortable enough to drift off in. Sighing in exasperation, he ripped the headphones out and looked at his clock.

1:26AM. Great.

Taehyung rolled over onto his side to face the laundry hamper, the outline of which was barely visible in the dim corner of his room. At least he knew he hadn’t taken the clothes out of it yet that night, as one had to actually be asleep to sleepwalk. As he stared at the mundane piece of plastic, he became aware of a strange noise that seemed to swirl almost-but-not-quite soundlessly around the room. It was almost like a quietly howling wind, and although it was hard to pick up, it was undeniably present.

Taehyung checked his headphones. The CD was playing exotic bird noises, and the cackling calls being looped on the tape were most certainly not what he had been hearing a minute ago. He took the earbuds out as he tried to concentrate on the mysterious noise, which had grown slightly louder.

As the wind continued to swirl, it became apparent that the noise was coming from nowhere other than the laundry hamper. Taehyung was extremely perplexed by this, and sat up a little straighter in bed as he turned to fully face the basket. The noise was still soft, but it had very clearly become something that was now almost tangible in the small, dark room. It showed no sign of stopping as Taehyung tentatively placed his feet on the carpeted floor, arguing with himself over whether or not to lift the lid.

❧

Without warning, the wind changed to a sharp swishing sound, and a bright blue light escaped from the space between the lid and the body of the hamper. It looked almost electric, and it certainly had that effect on Taehyung, who immediately lept out of bed and toward the lightswitch.

“What the ?!” he cried as he flicked the switch, bathing the room in an oddly uncomforting yellow glow.

The hamper was back to normal, and the wind had ceased as Taehyung stood frozen by the lightswitch, breathing heavily and staring at the laundry basket.

“Kim Taehyung, are you having a mental breakdown in there?” called Namjoon from his room, evidently woken up by the younger man’s outburst.

“I-I’m fine,” yelled back Taehyung.

He cautiously approached the hamper, and with his heart in his throat, lifted the cover to peek inside. It was empty. The heavy book dropped worthlessly to the floor behind the hamper as Taehyung let its lid hang open, his own mouth also decidedly agape.

This time he was absolutely sure he hadn’t been the one to take the clothes out of the hamper - not to mention he had no idea what had happened with the odd wind and light inside the plastic receptacle just moments ago. As he stood there in confusion and shock, he again heard the harsh swishing noise - this time right outside his bedroom door.

Shaking almost too hard to grasp the doorknob, Taehyung managed to yank the door to his room open, and was met with a pile of clothes on the ground outside. He knelt to pick them up, and recognized the shirt as the one he had been wearing earlier that day. The same one he had made sure to put in the hamper before going to bed.

❧

Now more curious and perplexed than frightened, Taehyung hurried to grab a clean pair of boxers from his dresser, and held them above the laundry hamper for a few moments before dropping them in. He kept the lid open this time, and watched as the underwear sat there at the bottom of the basket, doing nothing.

He was beginning to feel foolish when suddenly the wind started up again. It was undoubtedly coming from the hamper this time, and the open cover allowed Taehyung to hear the swirling air quite clearly as he leaned over the lip of the bin, fearful of getting too close and being in. A very faint breeze tugged at the ends of his hair as he looked in to see the boxers, motionless on the floor of the hamper, get into nothingness as a small hole opened up beneath them, closing almost immediately as soon as the flash of blue light had finished blinded him momentarily.

With that, the boxers were gone, and Taehyung stared in disbelief at the now-empty hamper as his vision recovered and he wondered where the undergarments had been transported. He also noticed that a small speck of the hole that had taken the underwear away remained at the bottom of the hamper, and it was this miniscule black spot that he pressed his fingertips against as he leaned into the basket, consumed with the goal of trying to figure out where the thing led to.

It took only a few seconds this time, and before he knew it the winds were howling again. This time Taehyung could feel the cool breeze against his skin as the vortex swirled at the bottom of the hamper. The slight draft picked up speed until it was a harsh whirlwind, and suddenly Taehyung’s hand was getting into the bottom of the basket and knocking against something firm and cold.

Taehyung managed to catch himself before he tumbled fully into the basket, and he moved his hand around to test his new, frigid surroundings. The portal stayed open as he dragged his hand along something that felt like plastic, covered with a substance that might have been shards of glass based on its texture. Not only was the object he touched cold, but the entire environment seemed to be chilly as Taehyung’s hand bumbled about, occasionally knocking into items of a variety of shapes and sizes. His fingers plunged into a tub of small, cube-like objects, some of which stuck to the warmth of his hand. He held one, and felt it starting to shrink in his palm as a shout came from somewhere in the apartment.

“Taehyung!”

It was Namjoon’s voice. Startled, Taehyung pulled his arm - now buried almost up to its elbow - out of the laundry basket, and watched as the portal closed with the familiar burst of blue light.

“What is it, Namjoon hyung?” he called shakily.

In his haste, Taehyung had failed to drop the cube he was holding, and he looked at it now, curious as to what the rapidly shrinking lump in his hand was.

An… icecube?

❧

Before he had much of a chance to ponder this, Taehyung was surprised by Namjoon flinging open the bedroom door, a look on the latter’s face that told Taehyung that he was in for a serious scolding - although what for, he hadn’t the slightest clue.

Clutched in Namjoon’s hands was the pair of underwear that Taehyung had conducted his experiment with just a few minutes earlier. He held the boxers up with a raise of his eyebrows that said “really?” and dropped them on the floor at Taehyung’s feet.

“Tae, I don’t know what’s going on here, but it stops tonight,” Namjoon ordered.

The younger man nodded fervently.

“I don’t care what you have to do, but I never want to wake up with another pair of your underwear falling into my face ever again.”

Namjoon glared at Taehyung with sleepy, half-open eyes, but the threat still stuck.

“Those are… clean. Just so you know,” said Taehyung, pointing at the pair of boxers on the floor.

Namjoon made no response. Taehyung stood awkwardly for a moment, feeling the ice cube turn to liquid as it dripped out of his hand.

“I, uh… I don’t think the new laundry hamper is really working out,” mumbled Taehyung finally.

“I’d say that’s a pretty accurate assessment,” agreed Namjoon curtly.

❧

The next morning, Taehyung dragged the still-empty hamper out to the curb to get picked up by the garbagemen. Namjoon stood at the main door to the apartment complex, mumbling something about a waste of money and a crazy, underwear-scattering roommate before heading back inside and making himself some coffee.

“Don’t worry, Namjoon,” said Taehyung as he came back into the apartment and took his seat at the kitchen table. “I have a feeling our laundry troubles are over.”

“For your sake, I hope they are,” muttered Namjoon, a small smile spreading across his lips despite his serious tone.

The older man opened the freezer to get something out, and frowned as he closed the door.

“The house may be cleaner without your clothes lying around, but the freezer looks like a typhoon passed through it,” complained the young man. “It’s a mess in there.”

He sipped on his coffee as he threw a quizzical look at the refrigerator.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” defended Taehyung. “You know I don’t keep anything in there. That’s all your food.”

The younger man glanced briefly out the window at the laundry hamper, which sat unassumingly on the side of the road among the garbage cans and recycling bins. Taehyung stared at it for a moment before continuing.

“You should really try to be a little cleanlier, Namjoon.”

Guess who just got a new laundry hamper? *raises hand* For some reason I have a habit of immediately imagining the variety of ways in which new things in my life could go wrong; thus we get Tae and the uni-dimensional, magical-transportation laundry basket.

I was originally going to make it turn out to be some kind of creature living in the bin, but then I decided I’d rather hold on to my ability to sleep with the stupid thing in my own room. Plus, a laundry basket that scatters your clothes around the house without explanation just seemed so much cooler!

This story ended up being more funny than scary, although I guess it’s still kind of nerve-racking when you don’t know what’s going on, but you’re sure that it’s more than just garden variety sleepwalking. I have no idea if Taehyung has actually ever sleepwalked, but for some reason he seems like someone who would…