Jongin wakes up to sunlight falling on his face . It is a lot brighter than usual, without his curtains filtering it. He groans, turning his head to face away from the window. His body is hurting and with a startle he realizes that he is not in his bed. His mattress is soft and comfortable, but he is lying on a hard, solid ground. And since when does his chest feel so heavy?

He blinks his eyes open and looks down, eyes widening more when he spots Sehun there, head resting on his chest. He is not at home. The tiles look a lot like the ones from Oh's Heaven, and a quick look around confirms his assumption. He is currently in Sehun's café, lying on the ground with the coffee shop owner cuddling him. It would be cute, really, if there weren't people staring into the coffee shop, either confused or appalled, a group of high school girls passing even laughing at them. They must imagine something hot and steamy happening between the two of them, even with their clothes still on. Jongin knows fully well that boy x boy love stories sell quite well, even if homouality is a taboo topic no one wants to talk about.

As much as Jongin wants to blend out the world and keep snuggling with Sehun - when will he ever get another chance to cuddle like this? - he can’t. He has work to do and Sehun has to get up and operate his shop as well. Not to mention that their cuddling session is not anywhere as intimate and private as Jongin wishes for it to be, what with them being full on display for all the passersby.

"Sehun," he whispers, sitting up, but careful not to move Sehun around too much. He does not want to startle the other. He succeeds in doing so, Sehun now currently resting in his arms. He looks peaceful like that, and with the proximity Jongin can count each long, dark lash contrasting against creamy skin. Sehun's nose is cute, Jongin decides and his eyes wander further down to pink, enticing lips. There is a moment where his reason blacks out for a moment and Jongin leans in, but then Sehun pushes him away with a startled shriek.

"J-Jongin! Oh my God! I did not mean to push you," Sehun apologizes, seemingly awake now. Awake and face flushed red. Jongin is embarrassed, too, knowing that his face must have taken a rosier tone.

"It is okay," he laughs it off, hoping that Sehun has been too sleepy to understand what Jongin just tried to do moments ago. Well, it wasn't that he tried, but rather, his body listened to primitive instincts, rather than reason, and if Jongin thought he was doomed before, only now he knew the dimensions his little crush has grown into.

"Sorry," Sehun mumbles, rubbing his neck awkwardly. It is endearing, like most of the other things Sehun does, and Jongin cannot find it in himself to be mad. Not that he has been mad at Sehun before. He has never been.

"We must have fallen asleep yesterday when talking," Jongin says, getting up to stretch his limbs. He winces when he hears a few joints cracking and sees Sehun frowning, too.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to spend more time with me. You're busy with your story, right?" Sehun says, now biting on his lower lip. Jongin shakes his head and gives a small smile.

"It’s alright," Jongin says. "You're a very good friend to me. Of course I would spend your birthday with you."

The smile that Sehun sends him in return makes him freeze for a second, heart stopping for a beat. The world seems to be spinning with Sehun smiling like that and it is only Sehun's voice that stops the spinning motion and brings Jongin back to here and now.

"Thank you," Sehun whispers. "I have not had this much fun since forever. You're the first one to celebrate my birthday in years."





Jongin can’t help it . He is so much in love with Sehun by now that the thought of Sehun, as distracting as it is, becomes his motivation, too. He works in record time, writer's block not bothering him as much as in his previous projects. After all, he wishes to see Sehun as often as possible, and only when he has finished a good portion of his work does he allow himself to take a break and visit his friend.

It is only once a week, but a lot more than the few months before, when he has seen Sehun only every other week at most. The barista has become a part of his life, somehow, and Jongin is happy about it.

Sehun is like a change of wind, refreshing, and the more time he spends with the young man, the more Jongin changes, too. He can feel his temper soothing down. Sehun is so calm, so soft-spoken that Jongin cannot help but adapt, out of fear that his rougher edges might hurt the other.

They have talked about a lot, and with each of their talks, Jongin starts to see things differently. He wonders if the way he has lead his life so far is a good way to live. Is he happy? Fully content? Why did not he choose another option? Another option might not let him have his freedom in his doing, but at least success would feel more like success. He would be prouder of himself if there were more people to share and celebrate with. Despite his current series being a hit, Jongin does not feel very happy about it, not even half as elated as Chanyeol or Sehun are. Jongin bites down on his plush lip, suppressing the fond smile that is threatening to break out and earn him a confused look from his assistant sitting at the desk facing his. Sehun, he thinks and pauses in his motions, stopping midway.

He will probably have to redraw that panel, but it is worth it.





It is the thought of Sehun that leads Jongin to the door of a house he has never thought about entering ever again. But here he is, standing in front of his parents' house. It still looks the same, even the set of swings is still there, despite Jongin having grown out of it a decade ago.

The keys are rattling in his hands, yet it feels wrong to enter the house. He does not live there anymore, so he does not have any right to just open the door and go inside, right?

Jongin takes a deep breath, gathering all his courage, before he rings the bell. Sehun's words repeat in his head.Whatever happens, you won't be able to live in peace when you keep thinking about your parents and all the possibilities of things happening if you did this or that, so do it. Talk to them as soon as you can. Things will surely turn out far better than you imagine.

He smiles when Sehun's face flashes in front of his eyes. He imagines Sehun looking at him with that cute smile of his and that proud expression, not different from when he shares his opinion on Jongin's latest published chapter. He feels optimistic, but once the door opens and he is face to face with his mother, Jongin tenses up. He gets nervous and his smile fades that instant.





It is awkward to say the least. Jongin has not been home for years and his parents look so much older. His mother is still very elegant, very beautiful, but there are a lot more wrinkles visible than she would want to admit, and his father's hair is greying already, too. Apart from that, everything seems to be like usual.

They are sitting at the dinner table, delicious food presented in front of them, yet no one really enjoys it. The silence is pressuring when there is so, so much to say. Knowing his mother's distaste for starting an argument during a meal, Jongin stays silent. He eats spoon after spoon, sitting back in his chair when he is finished. He does not dare say a word when his father is still eating, likewise for his mother.

Jongin stares down at his half empty bowl. The hunger has vanished and instead, he feels sick. It is nervousness, mixed with hope that he does not want to see shattered. It is hard to admit, but sitting with his parents, Jongin realizes what he has always, always wished for: being a son who could make his parents proud.

"So," his father speaks up. Jongin lifts his head immediately, half looking at his father, but not daring to lock eyes. He is still very well-behaved, despite telling everyone how rebellious he has always been. It is even black on white in his first manhwa series, his bold statement that he does not need anyone, least of all parents that do not understand him. Jongin really wants to take it back now. He just wishes for his relations to his parents to normalize, to have his loving parents back, because he seeks for affection and recognition by the two people that have always been important in his life.

"How have you been doing?" His mother interrupts, giving him a tight-lipped smile that Jongin returns with an equally strained one.

"I've been doing okay," he replies, glancing up to watch his parents' expression. His father seems unfazed, face a mask. "My new series is selling quite well. How have you been doing?"

But of course it does not stay pleasant small talk. His father is fast to cut to real business, straightforward as always.

"Why are you here? Did you plan to come back now? You still have a place in the company, you know." Jongin looks to his mother. She looks hopeful, in contrast to his father's poker face, and he remembers the times when she has told him how fine he did, what a talented son he was, how smart he was. He wishes those times back, wishes he was not such a disappointment, because what he will say now is bound to disappoint her again.

He shakes his head. It is time to speak the truth. "No. I will not work in your company. I have built up my own career. I am an established artist now. I am happy with that. I do not think I am capable enough to handle company matters. You know that as much as I do."

Jongin holds his breath. It is silent for a while and for a moment he hopes, despite the sickening feeling in his gut that it is just the calm before the storm. His father will never accept such a decision, and his mother, no matter how much she loves him, has always followed her husband. Whatever Mr. Kim, head of the family, decides, she will abide by that.

"Is that your final decision?" His father asks then. "Look at me, son. Is that your final decision?"

Jongin gulps. He tilts his head up, looking at his father, the man he has admired so much for leading a successful business, a man with morals and ethics and pride. If only, he could have been proud of Jongin, too.

It would be so easy, Jongin thinks, still staring at his father. It is one of the rare moments that their gazes lock, and like every other time, he feels himself wavering. His father knows best, right? His father only wants the best for him, a well-paid job, a stable career. Jongin could stop his rebel phase and return to his parents, be the good son he has always wished but never had the confidence or capability to be.

"Yes. I will continue drawing. That is my final decision," Jongin says.

It does not hurt at first. Initially, it is just the shock that is numbing him. For the first time in his life, his father has raised his hand and slapped him. Jongin's mother is looking away, while his father stares at him with mixed emotions, face red and chest heaving. He can hear his father panting and the soft sniffles, those sounds can only be his mother crying. Jongin opens his mouth, but no words come out. What is he supposed to say? After all, he has chosen to defy his parents again, the people that have raised him and done their best to provide him with everything he needed. And how did he repay them in the end? With betrayal.

"Leave." Jongin's father says, still standing, still staring, still glaring. "I do not have a son like you. Leave this house immediately."

Jongin scrambles onto his feet and whispers an apology before he runs. The tears do not come until he exits the house, leaving behind parents, childhood memories and a few pieces of his shattered heart.





Jongin has taken a taxi to Sehun's place. He knows that Sehun lives a floor above the coffee shop, and so he tells the address of Oh's Heaven before slumping back into the seats. His tears have long stopped, but he feels so empty and confused. It is cold and lonely, too, and Jongin cannot bear the thought of returning to his studio apartment where nothing but silence will greet him.

He is worried, already betting on his bad luck that day, because Sehun might be sleeping already, not bothering to open the door to him. After all, it is night time now, early for a workaholic like Jongin, but for Sehun who gets up early to prepare for his work this might be bed time already. And Jongin has not announced his visit. He feels anxious, squirming in his seat until they finally reach the coffee shop. He pays the driver and looks up, heart deflating as there are no lights. Maybe he should go home, he thinks.

When he turns around, it is the sight of Sehun greeting him. He blinks, not believing his luck, but then the tears start to flow and Sehun is with him in a second, pulling him into a warm hug.

"Jongin! Are you okay? Let's go inside or you will catch a cold."





Jongin has never imagined his first time visiting Sehun in the privacy of his own apartment would be like this. Sehun has brought him a cup of hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows on top and there is a blanket wrapped around his body, although it is not that cold. Jongin just feels cold with the rejection he has experienced earlier and the feeling of loneliness that has eaten away at him.

They do not speak. Sehun sits right next to him and he can feel the other's gaze, but Sehun does not ask. Jongin is not sure if he is thankful for that or not. Part of him wants to keep it to himself, while another part of him wants to share, to somehow lift the burden. Shared pain is half the pain, right? But does he want Sehun to feel any pain?

Half an hour later, the mug in front of him is empty and Jongin feels only slightly better. Sehun is reading a book next to him. The silence between them is heavy, unbearable, because it reminds him so much of the silence between him and his parents. It shouldn't be like this with Sehun when their times together are always spent with laughter and light conversation. Or at least there is some background music or the sound of other people's chatters. Not so in Sehun's apartment though.

"I talked to my parents today," Jongin whispers, fiddling with his fingers. He does not know if Sehun has heard him. "I told them I wouldn't take over dad's company ever. He got mad and told me to leave. He does not have a son like me, he said."

He does not talk about the details. Retelling what has happened in short is already enough to make him tear up again, and he does not want to bother Sehun more. He whispers a thank you and removes the blanket, ready to leave, but then Sehun pulls him into a hug again. Jongin's face is pressed against Sehun's chest and that is all it needs for the dam to break again. His quiet sniffles turn into wails and sobs, uncharacteristic for Jongin. It is the pent up fears and worries and frustrations that he has to empty now. He is shaking in Sehun's arms, body wrecking with every violent sob.

It must be ugly to watch, Jongin thinks, but he can’t stop himself. The tears and the cries just come, only ceasing when he is exhausted. His throat is sore, no sound coming out except for hiccups, and his tears have dried. Sehun is still holding him, and only now, when he has quietened down does he hear that Sehun has been whispering to him the whole time. You did well. You did good. You did the right thing. Everything is okay now.

Crying is exhausting, Jongin learns that day. He feels weak, robbed of all energy, so he does not even feel embarrassed when he asks to sleep over. Sehun, being the good friend he is, agrees. Jongin gets a change of clothes and Sehun gives him a new tooth brush, too. With much effort - and Sehun's help and supervision - Jongin manages to get ready for bed, glad and happy that Sehun is cuddling with him. He feels so much closer to Sehun now, and he is infinitely grateful.

Jongin's eyes close and his mind shuts slowly, but he still hears Sehun's voice consoling him with small whispers.

"At least you talked to them. You tried, Jongin. And no matter the outcome, the thought and intention is the most important. You did the right thing in confronting your parents. I'm sorry things turned out that way, but at least you still have me supporting you, right?"

Jongin hums softly, feeling all warm and content with Sehun spooning him. It is the warmth and the feeling of safety that lulls him into sleep in the end.





Jongin wakes up the next morning with swollen eyes and negative thoughts flooding back. The room he finds himself in is unfamiliar until he remembers that he is in Sehun's bedroom now. There is no Sehun in sight though. Instead, he finds a message on the bedside table, telling him that Sehun is downstairs to operate the coffee shop. Jongin sighs and falls back into bed, pulling out his phone to check the time. It is eleven, far too late as he usually starts working around ten. There are a few missed calls from both his assistant and Chanyeol, but for now Jongin wants to ignore them. He needs a break, at least for one day.

Sighing, he ends up sending Chanyeol an apologetic text, saying he was sleeping until now because he does not feel so well. At least it is not a lie, he thinks, laying back down into the pillows. They smell a lot like Sehun, a sweet smell of caramel and chocolate, but also something very distinctly Sehun. It soothes his nerves, so he stays there until he feels the need to get up and move. He can’t fall asleep, and if he stays here alone, thoughts of his parents will come back. In fact, they are already returning, and Jongin wants them out.

It takes a while until Jongin is representable - as much as he can be in yesterday's now wrinkled shirt and with his eyes red and swollen still. Sehun does not say anything when he comes downstairs. He just smiles and motions him to sit at his regular place, and a little later, he brings a sandwich, a chocolate muffin and a warm drink. Jongin thanks him with a little smile, hoping that things will turn better from now on. At least, he is disillusioned now. He won't wait for his parents to come and support him and his work anymore. There is no way they could ever be proud of their son who could not manage to stay in line and walk down the path they had chosen for him. But at least he still has Sehun supporting him, right?





Things turn back to normal after that . Jongin delves into his work, burying himself with doing extra projects at the side. He rarely sees Sehun, even though he keeps visiting the other every other week. There is barely time to talk when Jongin is in a hurry, always rushing into the coffee shop to say hi and chat a bit, maybe five, ten minutes of small talk about the weather, their health and well-being, how work is going. He alw