1: Now a Man

Entry #1

My name is Lee Donghae. I am twenty-two years old and today I graduated from the Seoul Academy for the Arts. It’s been four years since I began my journey to Art excellence and now I can finally be free to find my artistic feet.

Today… should be a happy day. I should feel overwhelmed with joy and excited to take on the world that is now at my disposal. But… this is not the case as today is the day I finally become a man; dependant on myself and no one else.

_____

Sitting at his desk for what would be a long night, Donghae hovered over the newly bought, freshly opened journal he’d received as a gift from his parents. It was golden in colour, silver rimmed, with metallic letters forming words at the front stating: “Write your dreams, as to dream is to be.”  He found those words quite curious as he’d never before that day found any of his dreams significant. He wondered if perhaps by dreams the phrase meant ambitions. That could very-well be possible as that was exactly how people viewed their ambitions nowadays; as dreams.

To Donghae, a dream was a dream; nothing more. It began when he slept and ended when he woke up. A dream; nothing more than a passing thought within ones subconscious mind, meant to fade as daylight came. That’s all they ever were to him… Until the day he graduated, that is. First in his class student with a bright future staring him right in the face and yet he was afraid; A cowering weakling fearful of his inevitable future and that stupid dream. It had started off as his day always did; a peaceful breakfast with his loving parents; exchanging opinions on the latest daily news; conversation running smoothly from world events to how well he’d done the in the past years and how proud his parents were of him. Everything was normal that morning, until his mother coyly handed him a red envelope; an envelope that reminded him of the dream he’d had the previous night.

“Here” his mother said as she tucked the envelope into his lap, brief thoughts of opening it later flashing in his mind like déjà vu. “Your father and I want you to have this. It’s our graduation gift to you for making us the proudest parents in the world” he mused at the exactness of the words as he had seen them in his dream. They matched up to form a perfect replica of what should have been false reality. Perhaps it was coincidence, perhaps he just knew his parents too well. He didn’t know, and he wouldn’t have cared had it not been for the next words to leave his mother’s mouth. 

  Perhaps it wouldn’t have mattered had it not been for the fact that they had scared him even in his dream while he’d slept and perhaps he wouldn’t have panicked inside had he not heard them spoken by his mother, in reality.

“We’re giving this to you now” she began her dreaded speech “… because we won’t be able to give it to you later. We have to start your special day off on a sad note I afraid. It’s bad news… Your grandmother has passed away and your father and I have to leave in an hour or so to make all necessary arrangements for her funeral. We won’t be able to come to your graduation ceremony love. We’re truly sorry.” And so was Donghae, though he didn’t say it. He knew those words were all lies; somehow he just knew, but instead of showing how upset he really was with his parents for doing what he’d been dreading for a long time- worst of all on his important day- he decided to help them pack their belongings-which were far too many for a return trip- and walked them to the front door of their home. As they were about to turn and leave, Donghae halted them and gave each a loving kiss and embrace goodbye only to watch their backs as they walked away and out of his life for good. 

Needless to say, that was the last time he ever saw them.

The Lee family always believed in independence. They were firm believers in each member finding their own two feet and walking life’s path alone until they found their life partner. Parents would have no place in the life on an adult and that is just how it worked.

  This is why, from a young age the Lee children were taught to refine their natural talents and hone them in such a way that would allow them great success in their inevitable adulthood. It was because of this that Donghae was trained in the field of fine arts from an early age; his parents having spotted his constant drive to scribble with deep concentration for a child as young as he had been at the time. It had been one of their finest decisions as his parents yet, as well as the decision that led them down the path they presently walked. 

Donghae never once regretted his talent. What he did regret, however, was growing up.

It was at the age of thirteen- when he was no longer a child but a blooming adolescent- that his parents sat him down at their dining table in their Mokpo home and told him that they were moving to the city. It was for his own good, the said, and one day he would come to thank them for it. That was the first time Donghae had dreamed what was to become reality; the move that had been a vision while his slept had become his reality. Though he’d somehow forgotten about that dream until now; it had been so long ago that he’d forgotten his other gift until it came baring bad news once again. As he sat staring as the freshly inked page before him, Donghae wondered why could never find the courage to ask the necessary questions like: why are we moving away from all of our friends or why are you leaving me alone? Or even: Why do I know that you’ll never come back? These were the questions that needed asking. These were the questions he’d failed to ask. Closing his new journal Donghae stood from his desk and collected the large red envelope that he’d violently thrown onto his bed in a fit of rage upon arriving home to find it void of all else but furniture. Even the photographs that filled their Seoul apartment had vanished while he’d been out, just like his parents. They were all gone, and he was all alone.

He spilled the contents of the envelope contemptuously onto his bed and sneered at them as they lay scattered about. Amongst them was another envelope, this time yellow in colour, which he scooped up and harshly opened. Upon doing so he found himself not in the slightest bit surprised to find a neat stack of money, probably meant to serve as compensation for his broken heart. How useless, he thought in disdain, wishing that he’d get his parents back instead of money. Digging further into the yellow envelope he found a piece of paper, folded thinly into a small square. He opened it up and began reading, but found that he only got sadder with each word he read.

Dear Donghae

It was written in his father’s scrawny hand writing.

Without saying much else I want to explain to you what this money is for.

Firstly, we expect you to use it wisely. It is mainly just so that you can survive for a couple of months while you try to find work. We know you have connections at Nature Poem so now is the time to use them son. Try to get your work exhibited as frequently as possible there. That will help you sell your art and get commission work.

Secondly, if you open the folded papers that accompany this money and the diary, you’ll find the deed to the apartment we’ve lived in for the past nine years. We know it’s not much, but the place it yours now, so treat it well and take good care of it.

The money we gave you should last you two months at least. I know it’s only $4000 but I always did say that anyone can survive off a teacher’s salary now didn’t I? 

I know this is sudden, but we’re only doing this to thicken you up son. You’ve been dependant for too long and the world chews on the likes of you so toughen up. Keep well and know that we will always love you, no matter where we are in the world.

With love

Your parents

And those were the last words he had read or heard from them. They were gone, and he was a man now. That was the reality he had dreamed.

***

Hi :D

So this is the first official chapt of Still Life. A bit short and angsty but I hope you like it. I ask that you bear with me because it does get better. There’ll be some romance galore once the ball starts rolling with this one; Hyukjae gets introduced next chapt so watch out. Thank you all for subbing and up voting. I never expected such a large audience for my first fic so thank you. I will try to update in a few days again. 

‘til next time