“I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”

It’s too early, almost an ungodly hour if you ask me and maybe if you ask him, he would agree. But you can’t, because even though he’s getting ready for some kind of absurd shoot, he’s more asleep than alive.

Now, why am I awake? This might sound like some sort of dumb thing but my body always seems to register when he’s not near even when I’m too deep in my sleep, this is our biggest problem since we got together but fortunately or unfortunately, depends on how you see it, he seems to have the same problem. Sometimes I fall sleep after he’s gone but not for too long, anyways we both have places to go and stuff to do but we somehow always find time for ourselves. Yes, we are lame that lame.

Cons of having a boyfriend whose band is super famous: he’s always ten times busier than me.

“Are you busy today?” he ask, eyes almost closed and hair falling on his face. I could laugh if I didn’t know he’s truly too tired to function. So I just say no with my head. “Would you like to come with me? This might take a while but if I have the rest of the day free then we might get to go see that movie I’ve wanted to watch?” he has that beggy face, almost as if he’s waiting for me to say no, cause he know that some days I just don’t feel like going out.

I just look at him for a while, trying to think in all the stuff I should be get done before even consider to go out but I can almost see him pouting so I just say yes earning my favorite smile from him. And in that simple way, I can tell I couldn’t care less about the rest of the day or the stuff I should be getting done.

Fortunately, we kind of get our morning routine quickly enough to now hear complains from the manager when we finally get to the studio where the photoshot would be done. He tells me that if I want I can stay in the dressing room or hang out where they’re going to be taking the photos but after fooling around with the guys a bit I decide just to go with them.

After they get their clothes and make up done they start doing the photos but with the ten members of the band this might take a while. It doesn’t bother me, and he knows it. But as soon as it’s his turn he know he’s going to regret having me here cause I love to mock him, even though he’s in all his glorious self when he’s posing I always about being too serious, just because he get a lovely shade of red and too shy to function. But he gets it done, laughing too hard in some shots and trying hard to stay serious in some others. I head towards to his dressing room so I can wait for him there.

 When he finally enters the rooms, he’s smiling so bright he could put the sun in shame and I’m loving every minute of it. He sits in my lap with his playful attitude making me laugh; he puts his face in the crock of my neck laughing too and when he finally lifts his face he looks at me with that serious yet playful stare of him and ask me if he looked good and I’m just looking at his face for a while before I get up and find some kind of towel so I can clean all of his makeup, while I’m at it he just looks at me with browns frown, and when I’m done I stare at him for another while, drinking the view, getting drunk on the perfection of his bare face. So I just smile and lean in, kissing him first in the frown he has wich makes him almost smile then on the nose and finally on lips quickly before I can give him an answer.

“I think you look better like this, bare faced, something I can get drunk on or get lost with” he smiles, definitely putting the sun to shame, and kisses me.

“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints” he quotes in a whisper and kisses me again, and it almost feels like falling in love over again.

How do I love him?

Let me count the ways: the way his eyelashes seems to project shadows over him when he’s sleeping in the middle of a tiring day, the way his lips seem to fit perfectly in the crock of my neck, how when he dances he’s his passionate self, almost intimidating. How his hair falls over his eyes when he’s still too sleepy to notice. How when he talked he seemed too focused on choose the right words so everyone can understand perfectly. How time seems to go so slow when he’s not here for too long, and when he’s here time is not slow enough. The way he reads poetry.  How one time after we met he seemed to be so focused on making me laugh and when he finally did I ended up spiting my soda. The way he stills try to get into every piece of me even thought he knows he’s already everywhere in my body, in my soul, in my heart, in my life. His smell, and his smile, and how he’s loving to everyone, how loving he is. How he loves. The way he sometimes seems to look so deep on me I could drown in his eyes. How he looks like he could save me from everything bad in the world.

The secret is: he did, in more than one way.