Chapter 5

Jaejoong wondered what it was to have a mother. He barely remembered her as she died of sickness when Jaejoong was only two years old. He often thought of her as someone warm that rocked him softly until he fell asleep. She was so kind and her smile was so tender, yet he couldn’t remember her face. At least, his heart remembered.

He got baby brother and he loved Junsu so much. He even more thrilled when he found out he had another little brother, but once he asked his father about it, he was scolded. Jaejoong was curious why he couldn’t meet his other brother so he sneaked out one night to meet him. He did meet him, but it hurt his heart so much. His other baby brother didn’t even have a name and Jaejoong decided to call him Changmin.

Changmin was a little bit like Junsu, yet, he’s proven to be a lot smarter and has this bright eyes that reminded Jaejoong of his mother. Even though he knew they had different mother, it didn’t bother him. Yet, he did a grave mistake to let Changmin out until his father found out. It was the first time he knew his father true color.

“How can you let that cursed child out?!” the emperor yelled as Jaejoong shrunk down to the floor, crying. They’re in the throne room and there’s only the two of them there. Jaejoong’s cheek that was slapped was still burning, yet, nothing hurt more than his heart. He couldn’t get the reason why his father called Changmin like that or why he was hit and scolded. It didn’t make sense in Jaejoong’s seven years old mind.

“Father…I’m sorry I went to see Changmin behind your back. But he did nothing wrong to be born into this world. Please let him go. Let him have his free---“ Jaejoong couldn’t finish his sentence as the emperor threw a ceramic vase next to him.

“You won’t ever meet or talk about that cursed child again! The night your mother died that child was born! It’s his fault!” the emperor shouted as Jaejoong went silent. No, it still didn’t make any sense. His mother died of sickness. His father was just blaming Changmin for no reason. Yet, Jaejoong knew nothing good came out if he kept insisting Changmin’s freedom now. His father was mad beyond reason and it scared Jaejoong. He had no idea his father could be like this.

Yet, Jaejoong didn’t give up. He kept trying his best in everything he did so one day his father would fulfill his wish to free Changmin. Then, after some time, his father praised him of his sword play and gave him a playmate, Yunho. Having Yunho around was really good; Jaejoong knew he could depend on him. Yunho was very skillful as a soldier and had a good heart, Jaejoong could tell.

He really didn’t expect he got another playmate slash future advisor that was at the same age as him. He was expecting old man or woman that would dictate him. Yet, Yoochun was proven to be smart for his age and it reminded him of Changmin. He wondered how Changmin had been doing; he couldn’t meet him because his room was heavily guard. Jaejoong also didn’t want to anger his father like before.

Once, he did magnificently well in a court meeting because he had consulted Yoochun of the matter before hand and everyone was so proud of him. After the meeting, he took a walk with his father alone; Jaejoong knew it was the right moment to ask.

 “I’ve proven myself as a worthy heir. Would father please fulfill my only wish?" Jaejoong spoke in his respectful voice as the emperor nodded.

“Let Changmin has his freedom,” Jaejoong spoke as the emperor stopped on his track. It felt like forever until the emperor turned back and faced Jaejoong. Afraid to be stuck down again, Jaejoong closed his eyes. Yet, nothing touched his face.

“…I can’t free him and let the world know his existence,” the emperor spoke in cold voice Jaejoong didn’t recognize,” It’s time that cursed child die for our well-being…”

“…What?” Jaejoong couldn’t believe his ears. Without waiting, he rushed to Changmin’s room and there was no guard. He went inside as he saw the padlocks were unlocked. What he discovered broke his heart into million pieces. He was too late.

Changmin was lying on the floor with his back exposed and Jaejoong could see whipping mark on it. He rushed and embraced Changmin, calling his name fanatically. He shouted for servants to bring his warm honey and he fed it to his dying brother. He barely managed to save him as he promised him he would free him and wouldn’t let anyone hurt him ever again.

Jaejoong realized from that time, he couldn’t wish for his father to free Changmin. He made a deal with his father instead. Jaejoong would be an heir his father had wish for and no one would ever hurt Changmin again. He didn’t ask for Changmin’s freedom because he knew it would only make his father hurt Changmin more. Then, in secret, Jaejoong duplicated the padlocks keys as he visited Changmin. Yet, this time he was so careful and made sure no one discovered it.

It kept going on for some time until he was ready to share Changmin’s existence with Yoochun. Like Jaejoong’s expectation, Yoochun kept open mind about it and agreed with him to free Changmin. He was about to share it with Yunho too but Yunho had to go to war. Jaejoong didn’t want to burden Yunho so he could concentrate on the battlefield. Yet the thought Yunho would get hurt or he could even lose his Yunnie scared Jaejoong to the bits.

He wanted to tell Junsu about Changmin too, but he couldn’t do it without exposing his innocent baby brother to their father’s darkness. For years, Jaejoong kept the other side of his father in secret. He didn’t tell Yoochun but somehow it was like Yoochun knew. Junsu obviously had no idea until one night; the emperor struck him down in front of Junsu. It hurt so much, not because the slap, because he had to make Junsu witnessed such thing. He somehow wanted Junsu to have a perfect image of their father since Junsu remembered nothing about their mother.

It became worse. Jaejoong couldn’t stand it anymore. He witnessed his father drown in insanity. The war drove what left of his sanity away. Alcohol became everyday drinks for the emperor and he wasted so much time with many women. It disgusted Jaejoong to the bits. He couldn’t hide the dark side of emperor anymore. Maybe it was the time the world knew, Jaejoong told himself.

Jaejoong spent most of his time staring at the sky these days as he wondered if the war would end or would their kingdom be destroyed. Honestly, Jaejoong began to feel empty and he was too tired. His wrists and back were still hurt because last night punishment. The emperor broke his promise and wanted to torture Changmin again, blaming him for their last defeat on the battle front line. Jaejoong begged he was the one who took it instead of Changmin. He did.

Then like mocking him, the news of their victory echoed through the air this morning. It was like it was proving his father’s insane proclamation of curse. Jaejoong had enough of everything, sometime he wished he could make his father disappeared. He even began to dream about killing the emperor. It drove Jaejoong mad. He knew it wasn’t his nature to feel or even think like that. Yet, it was like something invincible binding him to imagine and do the bad deeds.

One day, like other day, Jaejoong was staring at the sky until he felt someone was staring at him. It was rude to stare at prince and Jaejoong somehow became irritated with it. He usually didn’t but lately he just couldn’t help it. So, Jaejoong turned back and what he saw surprised him. It reminded him of the old days that seemed so far away; when he still remembered how warm and beautiful the world was. He called the name he missed so much as he embraced that person.

“Yunnie…”

Yunho finally came back and it was like Jaejoong remembered how to breathe again. He missed him so much until he couldn’t help but to cry on his shoulder. Both of them had grown so much but they could feel their feelings for each other didn’t change; the trust and deep bond they shared from childhood.

Yet, Jaejoong’s smile disappeared as Yunho noticed the mark on his wrist. Jaejoong begged Yunho to not ask anything about it as he cried. Jaejoong could only show his tears to Yunho for unknown reason and it was the same for Yunho. Both of them cried as they felt how close they’re; Yunho in regret as he failed to protect his precious Jaejoong and Jaejoong because all the pain and heartbreak he had endured.

The heartful reunion ended up with Yunho getting smacked by Junsu from behind as he thought Yunho just made Jaejoong cried. Yoochun laughed softly at the background. How Jaejoong wished Changmin could join them. He knew Changmin would perfectly fit the picture.

That was the moment when wheel of destiny that bind all of them started to move again. It was time for a change and soon enough they would face a storm together. Yet, at least they’re going to make it together or so they hoped.