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optional; Lee Boram - Jequirity two (Hongd doo 홍두 ||.)

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I stared at the box as I came home and stared, just stared into it as I decided to see if I should open it or not.

Looking at the clock, it was already 4:00 AM, and I already had a schdule in an hour, and I had to get ready, but getting ready could've wait.

"Just open it, Doojoon." A voice inside me yelled as I reached for the box and untied the pink bow on top as another voice held me back.

"No, you have no reasons to open it. She is no longer here, no in your heart, don't you dare open it." It said as I tried to shake off the memories.

"Well, since she's no longer in my heart, I'd open it cause it wouldn't do much damage." I whispered to myself as I took off the ribon and threw it to the side as I gently opened the box.

Before checking what was inside, I recieved a call from Junhyung as I put the phone by my hear.

"Hey." I said as I heard his tired voice on the other line as I fiddled with my fingers.

"Hey, Doojoon. Just to let you know, we're going to meet soon, see you in a little bit?" He said as I nodded and looked at the things inside the box as I studied them.

"Mhmm--, see you then." I muttered as I put my phone away and looked inside the box to see a bunch of envelopes.

"What--the--hell?" I said in a soft whisper as my hands began to tremble as I picked up the enevelope and looked at it.

"Oppa, let's write letters to eachother and give it to one another before we leave this earth, okay? It'll be like--, goodbye letters?" Her voice in his head said as he remembred her saying it and pinky promising it, right in front of his eyes.

"No, she would never have did that." I muttered as I took out the first envelope and slowly ripped it open as I stared at her handwriing on it.

Slowly taking out the letter, I examined it as I began to read, read her writings.

August 11 , 2010 ;

'Doojoon oppa,
Remember how I said we're going to write letters to eachother until we leave this earth? Well, the only reason I said that was--, because I'm going to leave soon and I won't be there to actually say what I really wanted to say before I leave, because I don't know when I will.

August 20 , 2010 ;

`Doojoon oppa,
I just got a checkup from the doctors right now, and I know I should've told you, but they told me I'm in danger, I have cancer. Oppa, I'm scared. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of leaving you.

August 22 , 2010 ;

`Doojoon oppa,
I saw you with Jieun the other day. I told you, she likes you, how come you don't believe me? Haha, I like her too, so--, I would be okay with you going out with her.

August 28 , 2010 ;

`Doojoon oppa,
To be honest, I'm scared of having you leave my side. You see, I know I'm going to leave you first, but I'm scared you might fall in love with someone else. Like Jieun. You are mine, and you will always be. But I feel so selfish, and I hate myself. Please forgive me.

After reading four letters, I slowly dropped it on the floor as I looked at myself through the mirrors.

"No, I don't like her anymore." I said to myself trying to get the thought that she wouldn't be coming back as I dug up more envelopes.

August 30 , 2010 ;

`Doojoon oppa,
I'm in the hospital right now. Wooyoung doesn't know about my cancer, I told him I Was staying at Sunny's house. By the way, Wooyoung has a huge crush on Sunny. Don't tell her though. Haha, but right now, it's raining. And sometimes I only think the clouds are crying. But Oppa, would you cry if I told you I had cancer and was going to die soon? Or not?

"Die--, soon?" I whispered as I felt myself pounding on my heart as I should've known, as I hated myself for not being there for her, when she really needed me.

September 1 , 2010

`Doojoon oppa,
You were so scared when I stayed home from school cause I was sick. You came to my house and gave me my favorite chocolate and sang me a beautifully lullaby. I know I said thanks a million times, but I am really thankful. Knowing that would be the last time I would hear your voice.

September 3 , 2010 ;

`Doojoon oppa,
it hurts. It hurts a lot. My stomach hurts, and my heart hurts. Help me.

After reading that letter, my tears starting falling from my left eyes as I didn't notice.

If the tears fall first from the right eye, it means tears of happiness, while if it falls first on the left eye, it means the tears of saddness.

The sadness, from the left eye--, she needed me, she needed my help, and I ignored it.

Losing my balance, I looked away from the letters as I checked one last letter, which was pink and pointed out as it was the only pink one.

Picking it, and ripping it, I looked inside to see one sentence.

October 10 , 2010 ;

`Dooojoon oppa, I'm really tired and I feel like sleeping, so I'll let you know something, something important; I love you and I'll miss you terribly.

With that, I fell to the floor as I looked at the ceiling, feeling my breath quickened as I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"I miss you, I love you." Her words from stung my heart as I could feel it pumping and trying to rip itself out, as I tried to hold it in.

"_____." I said her name, and this time around, I said it louder, and even louder.

AFter saying those words, those beautiful words of her name, I closed my eyes as I reached over my phone, as my tears fell on my screen.

Calling a number, I sighed as I heard his voice on the other line.

"Yeah, Doojoon?" I heard.

"Junhyung, I can't come to practice today. I have something important to do, I have to meet someone, someone special." I whispered as I hung up and dialed another number.

Waiting for a response, they picked up as my eyes widened.

"Wooyoung--" I said as I heard him panic on the other line.

"Doojoon, what's wrong? What happened?" He asked as I shrugged and just laid on the floor remembering.

"Do you have time right now?" I asked in a faint whisper.

"Yeah, I do. But why?" He questioned.

"I want to go meet _____ today, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me." I said as I waited for his answer/

After a long pause, I heard him chuckle a bit.

"Sure."

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