RAP MONSTER (NAMJOON)

Whatever I do, I can’t help it,
It’s definitely my heart, my feelings, but why don’t they listen to me?
 

SK PETROL STATION, SEOUL

9.47 PM 

“Are you going home already?” Namjoon asked Ara, who is busy putting her stuff away in her locker.

Kim Ara, a girl who has the least ladylike features ever. Nothing fancy about the way she dresses, nothing screaming for attention from the way she walks and talks. Nothing girly, nothing at all.

Looking up from her locker, she answers quite seriously yet lazily. “No Namjoon, I’m actually headed to the zoo now. I just got a new part-time job there brushing lions’ teeth. It’s interesting, really.”

“WHAT? Are you serious?” Namjoon asked, half screaming.

Ara burst into a laughing fit, she couldn’t believe that the gangster looking guy in front of her would actually fall for something like that. “Gosh Namjoon, of course I'm kidding, I'm going home. Our shift ended, remember?”

“You're so mean! Why couldn’t you just have told me the truth to start with?” Namjoon is now towering in front of her, blocking her from the exit.

“Well, you ask me the same question everyday, so I thought I'd make it more.. erm.. stimulating.. today.” Ara answered, shrugging her shoulders.

“Sheesh.. you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to actually believe it. You’re funny Namjoon, very funny” she said while smiling.

That smile. He can tell from the way she smiles that she’s not someone who smiles much, and he wants to know why. Namjoon is always curious, especially if it has to do with Ara.

“Sigh. Well anyway, I’m going the same way as you today. Want me to walk you home?” Namjoon said, averting his gaze from her, trying to hide the red pigment glowing on his face. He thanked God for the dim lights in their locker room, and also his tall height.

“Why do you always ask the same question Namjoon?” Ara asked while tying her shoelace.

Namjoon’s brain almost screams when he tries to process that question in his head. He needs to answer this correctly, if not ..

“Well...”

“Let’s go!” Ara cuts Namjoon’s sentence short as she gets up and pushes away from Namjoon’s body which is blocking the door, which takes her a fair amount of effort - he's strong.

Namjoon is still in a daze, but remembers the existance of his feet and jogs until he sees her walking out of the petrol station they both work at. He stopped right behind her, observing the way she walks. The way her eyes always look up at the night sky instead of at the road in front of her.

Kim Ara. Kim Ara. Kim Ara.

You guessed it, he's heads over heels for her. Looking back at their first meeting, he couldn’t believe how close they've become now.

Namjoon was the school’s top student when he graduated 2yrs ago, and afterwards he was accepted to one of the SKY Universities, the most prestigious universities in Seoul. Unfortunately however, Namjoon had to decline due to his family's circumstances. Poor is an understatement for him, he's almost broke. He spent most of his parent’s inheritance to treat his grandmother’s illness, so he knew that he would never be able to afford University. Besides, if he pursued his studies, there would be nobody to look after his grandmother. His grandmother is the only family member he has, so he doesn’t want to lose her as well.

The first time he met Ara was when he started work at the petrol station near his house. He didn’t feel anything at first, but Ara’s mysterious vibe always triggers his curiosity. She’s different, that's what he got from all of his observations. He never knew how his curiosity turned into affection, all he knows is that it is far too late to turn back now.

No one knew about his interests towards Ara, except for his best friend, Yoongi, nicknamed Suga.

“Hey Namjoon!” called Ara barely louder than whispering, but Namjoon still heard and effectively woke from his trance.

“Yes?” he answered.

“Do you think you live a fair life?” Ara questioned.

She is so unexpected. The questions she throws cannot be answered like the genius Namjoon usually solves math equations.

Namjoon stays silent for a while, still walking slowly behind her.

“Every morning, I always see a guy who comes to our petrol station,” Namjoon’s voice breaks the silence. “He drives the most expensive cars, wears the most expensive suits,” he continues, now tilting his head a little to the right. “But there is something about him that seems off,”

Ara chuckles. “You mean the guy who smiles at everyone? I almost thought that if he smiled any wider, his face might rip or something,” said Ara, quite amused.

“Yeah, that guy. I don’t know if you've noticed, but everytime he gets back into his car, his expression changes instantly. It’s almost like the smile on his face is only a mask. For some reason, I don’t really think he is any happier than us, even with all that money, you know?” Namjoon says, looking up at the night sky.

When he looks back down, he sees Ara already standing in front of him with an unreadable facial expression.

“Thank you,” Ara said after a while.

Namjoon swears his heart is beating like a hummingbird's when he looks into her eyes. He unconsciously holds his breath.

“Thank you for what?”

Silence.

Ara smiles again. She points her hand behind her, towards her apartment. They arrived. Namjoon almost curses at how close the distance from the petrol station to Ara’s apartment is.

“Oh,” is the only thing he manages to say.

Ara chuckles. “And thank you for your answering the question well. You really are a genius,” Ara says whilst making her way towards the entrance of her apartment building.

Namjoon was left dumbfounded in front of her apartment, and he stayed that way for some more time just processing the whole situation in his head, again and again and again.

Namjoon cuts away from his trance when his phone vibrates - it's a txt from his grandmother.

1 message

Halmoni

‘Namjoonie, I cooked your favourite food. Why aren't you home yet?’

Namjoon smiles and replies 'I’m on my way home halmoni,' before tucking his phone back into his pocket.

After both Namjoon and his grandmother are done with their dinner, they have a little talk at their small dining table.

"Namjoonie, you received another offer to go to the university this morning," his grandmother said while slipping a letter in front of him. "Namjoon, don’t you want to pursue your studies?"

Namjoon smiles, "I dont want to study halmoni. Books are boring," he answers.

"Don’t lie. I saw the engineering books you borrowed from Jun Jin in your room! Do you really need to know engineering to work at the petrol station?" his grandmother replied sarcastically.

"Oh that. I borrowed it for... errr, well sometimes I can’t sleep and I need something to read to get me sleepy. Halmoni aren’t you tired? It's almost 11 o’clock now!” Namjoon tried to change the topic.

“Namjoon-ah, I know you worry about me, but you know that there is nothing else left that can be done about my health. I’m more worried about your future, I don’t want you to live a life full of hardships since you've had enough of them already,” Namjoon’s grandmother says and continues, “I’m old, and there isn't a lot of time left for me. You'd better start thinking about yourself now. You are my only hope, my only grandchild. I love you and I don’t want you to suffer anymore,” 

“Sigh. Halmoni, please don’t say that. I will try to think about it again, okay? But you need to rest now,” Namjoon says whilst guiding his grandmother to her small room, in hopes their conversation will end as soon as possible.

When he’s about to get out of her room, she says, in an almost whispering tone, “You know your parents wouldn't like how you’re living your life right now, right? I’m sorry for being a burden to you Namjoon. I’m so sorry.”

Namjoon hears what she said, but chooses to ignore it. He shuts the door to her room and stands in front of it for what it seems like forever before making his way back to his own room with a heavy heart.

hey everyone!

I'm super sorry for not updating for quite sometime but I was really busy the past 2 weeks and ergh yeah sigh sigh 

anyways I uploaded the 4th chapter and it's Rap Monster's turn woohoo

it's actually the longest chapter so far so I hope I get it on point and not just blabbing some weird stuffs ha ha and im very glad Jstarfully helped me with editing it huuu TT~TT

do tell me what you think of it by commenting below. I appreciate your comments I swear. and I will reply to it as well! hu hu

I hope you enjoy this update 

who should I update about next? hmm haha

see you soon loves ~

purplebear18 <3