Reccomend to read this while listening to AKMU's Melted. It was the sole reason I wrote this story. And remember! It's a oneshot! Enjoy xx

 

 

 

Roses, orchids, and daffodils were my favorite flowers. My mom used to teach me how to arrange a bouquet when I was little but I didn't do much. All I did was play with the flowers she didn't use because it wasn't what she calls perfect. I asked once with a sunflower in my hand, "why won't you take this one, Mommy?" she plucked the flower from my hand and slipped it behind my right ear and murmured "There." My hand crept up to my right ear. "Sometimes something different may not stand out with the wrong bunch, but when it is in the right place it can be so beautiful."What are you talking about, Mommy?" She pursed her lips into one of her blinding smiles and patted my head. "You'll understand." And that was the last time I ever saw her before

 

Before.

 

The sound of rumbling from the train woke me up in a daze. I looked at my watch and it has been 20 minutes since I've got on. Flashes of evergreens past through with speed, I watched in awe. I wish I could see this with her. I closed my eyes and shrugged off the wariness that's building inside. She would've wanted this for me too. She would've supported me running away following...... I don't know what exactly. Ever since she died my dad married a rich widow with an 8 year old son. Hey, I love Pierre (Yeah, she's ing French!) but his Mom is so annoying. She keeps on trying to change me. I know I need to adapt to a new family but signing me up for table manner classes and balancing books above my head while walking Jimmy Who's or whatever- is taking it too far. I'm glad she didn't interfere with my dream of becoming a fashion designer although she did threw out my whole wardrobe because they're too 'punk' and 'rebellious' and 'homeless hobo'.

please, hobos are homeless.

What she did interfere now though is the fate of my love life. She practically said this was a vacation to get along with the whole family. Tightening our bonds and stuff. When what really went down in her vineyard in Schlitz, Germany was she set me up with a guy. Not some guy. A dandy trustfund baby something that can't take care of himself as seen from the way his Mum controlling every word he says and the way his Dad telling him to fix his hair. That's really not a future I want, being controlled by somebody.

So basically when Jean and I went by ourselves riding his mustang around the city I told him to drop me off to the nearest train station. When he asked why I just shoosed him as i put my fingers to his lips. "You're a really nice guy but.... it's not going to work out. You basically like talking to your Mom more than me, and you find my feet more interesting than my eyes-" or in this case, my s. "Eyes up here buddy- right. So I'm just gonna leave you here to find somebody else. You're rich, nice, and not bad looking either. The night's still young." I kissed his cheek and I hopped out of his car. I ignored the fact that he shouted at me saying that I was 'it!' and 'vibrant!' and 'unlike any other!' and some along the lines of 'Shereen please or my mom will kill me!' I turned around and smiled "Boy, you don't know the half of it. And it's Chaerin, you dimwit!"

 

As the train slowed down the Eiffel tower finally came in to view. Here I am, in the city of love. Not exactly my main goal here though. Because I actually chose the train that's going to leave the earliest. If this is what I'm destined for then I am so lucky today!I got out and immediately greeted with the crowded European atmosphere.

I looked at  the clock at the center of the hall as it showed 4 PM. No wonder the station was so busy. I mindlessly followed the current as I have found what may be the exit. I may have skidded a bit too fast as I lost my balance waver and I fell and scraped my knee. "!" A helping hand came across my face as I saw a man with white paint all over his face, and judging by the stripped shirt and beret.... "Oh! You're a mime! Monsieur Mime!" He nodded gleefully as his eyebrows shot up. I took his hand as he got me up and bowed. He shot me a look. He's asking me for a dance? We're in front of the station with lots of people although it is the promenade so probably people will be just passing by but... what the heck. Sorry to say, YOLO.

I took his hand again as we swayed happily for two turns and I felt cheerful again. I even forgot the scrape on my knee. Giving him probably the last of my euros I grant him thanks and walked along again. Embracing the clear skies, I jumped. It's Paris, baby!

I opened the map I obtained from the station earlier to see which destinations should I go first. Cafes and restaurants are out of the question because I probably can't afford them. I'll probably just chill at the landmarks and take a few pics. I'll probably finish at night and then I can go back to Schlitz. I do plan on getting back to my family, of course.

After venturing Arc-de-Triumph and landscapes of the city I thought I saved the Eiffel tower last. It's easy to find anyway since it's so huge and anybody would know how to get there. Thanks to and old lady I took a picture of she showed the way. I took pictures from every angle possible until I got bored out of my skull and I sat down at the edge of the wall perimeters. My feet dangling aimlessly as I took a cigarette out and smoked one. Eases off the hunger I'm feeling right now.

As I browsed my camera I saw a photo of a guy smoking. Curious at his hair color, I zoomed in. It's blonde but not blonde.... but not ashy white either, huh. When I looked in front of me, there he is! All in his leather jacket and ripped jeans glory. And he had tattoos! Wow he must spent a lot of time because his left sleeve is full of it. I wonder if the right arm is too but he still has his jacket. He doesn't look really tall either. His broad shoulders makes him look leaner though. And his hair looks like he just got out of bed. Or he got pulled back into bed several times. I can see why. Okay. Why am I ogling this man. I'll just take pictures of him so I don't seem like a creepy ert. That much.

 Every flex of his muscle and the wind blowing in his hair amazes me. I don't know why. He draws me in.... literally. I didn't realize I was now within 2 feet from him. He stands still until now, occasionally changing which feet should he slump on. He flinches and looks at the camera. Probably he heard where did all the shuttering came from. Oh my God, I'm so sorry Monsieur hottie! And a hottie he is... he had the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen, eventhough it's dark out but the lights from the city twinkles around him like he's mystical or something. He wears eyeliner though, but it makes him look y as his mouth hang open with a cig dangling.

Speaking of his eyes, they're slanted and I said, in Korean. "Hey, are you asian?" Slightly happy because finally i met someone i can connect with, at least, with my mother tongue.Not a second has passed then I felt my camera been taken away from me. A ing pickpocket! I stare in terror as I saw him ran away and shouted "YOU I'M COMING TO GET YA" and ran after him. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I ran a marathon. I didn't know where I was going, I only followed this guy in an all black attire. We zigzagged until I think we reached a quiet neighborhood where he stopped to catch a breathe. Whew, me too fella.

"Yo, T. Give her back the camera." As I saw the white haired guy from before! Only this time he emerged from the dark alleyway in front of us. How did he get there? I think I ran so fast, how did he even know where we were going? This T guy hands over the camera in defeat as he cursed something under his breath and looked at me. Well, I looked at him back with a stinkeye bonus. T guy disappeared as there's only me and white haired guy left.

"I take it that this is yours?" He says as he moves closer and hands me the camera. His hands are big and I can feel the callousness of it as it brushed mine. "Ah, merci..." I said to the ground, afraid of making eye contact. He's probably like the boss of the neighborhood or something. Sensing that he actually walked off just like that made me run after him. But he could kill me or strangle me at one point. The neighborhood is so quiet at midnight i couldn't help but seek company and I don't know why, he makes me feel safe regardless of what he might be. I walk behind him at a 2 feet distance. Not too close to strangle yet not too far to lose him out of sight. He seems to sense that I'm following him seeing that he controls the pace. He slows down whenever I slowed down.

The awkward silence is deafening so I tried to ease the tension. "S-so, you speak Korean?" Judging by the way he said it while he handed my camera over it was definitely Korean eventhough it had a foreign slur to it. "I'm French now." He said. "Ha! See? You are Korean. You were." "What's it to ya?" He still had his head down, talking to the ground. "Well, so I can have someone to talk to. It's pretty crazy out here with all the foreign people and their way of speaking... i'm like swimming out of water!" He shrugs. "You don't have a problem now do you?" He says nonchalantly. "My step mom's French so I kinda have to learn the language too. To you know. 'Communicate'" I say as I made airquotes. I'm talking about my family now? How desperate am I?

"I'm Chaerin." I say as I give my hand out. If we're talking now might as well have our names out first.

"I'm annoyed." He puts his hands in his pockets. How rude! "Why are you following me? I gave you back the camera." "I don't have a place to stay." "You said your step mom's french?" "Well yeah, but she doesn't live here. And-" as I start to babble off this guy mumbles "what the " and shook his head. Probably at this ridiculous situation that he's in right now. Sorry not sorry, bucko! He fastens his pace. "Why don't we go to your place?" I ask which I forgot totally sounded like I'm trying to get laid. "So sorry! That came out wrong!" He seems to ignore me seeing that I spit out nonsense all the time. "It's just for one night! I'll catch a train tomorrow first thing in the morning!" I heard him sigh. 

10 minutes later we arrive at what I assume, his place. An ordinary apartment for one person though the mess looked like it caused by zoo animals.

"I heard that." He simply said. Wait, I said it aloud?

"Yeah, you did."

Beer cans everywhere but no signs of guns though. Maybe this guy is not so dangerous? I stayed quiet knowing that if I said anything more stupid he'd kick me out. "Are you just gonna stand there and look dumb? You're sleeping in my room. I'm just gonna be on the couch smoking." His statement was clear he didn't want me asking any more things. I was a bit uncomfortable knowing I was gonna sleep in his bed.

When I got to his room it really was clean and untouched. As if he never sleeps here..."I sleep outside with the TV on. Helps me with the noise."He appeared closely behind me as he gave me an icebag. What's this for?"For your knee. I noticed you wincing when we walked." I cursed myself for saying what i'm thinking for the millionth time. As I applied the icebag I sighed in content. He must be pretty lonely. Living alone and I don't think he has friends either. He doesn't have someone to take care of him. Not that i want to.With all the walking and the that I had gone through this day you'd thought I would pass out on this. I wish I could. I went to peek to the living room. He's still smoking. I tiptoed in on him and sat next to him.

"Tell me about yourself." I nonchalantly said. He looked bored but not surprised.

"Aren't you the stranger in this household?"

"At least I told you my name!"

"At least I don't shove my annoying self to strangers."

"I'm not annoying!"

"Yeah. You're a stalker."

"I was taking pictures of your tattoos, you big-head!" I wish I knew the French one for dickhead to be honest.He laced his hands together and had his elbows on his knees.

"Jiyong."

He said. Pointing to his tattoo on his right forearm of what I assume a dragon. Encasing his forearm almost half of it. "Ah yes. Though I think what you meant was Yong in korean it means-" as I touched his forearm an electrical zing that made me gasp. "Sorry." I said. "It's..... Jiyong." He said.

"Oh."

"Though here everyone calls me G. Easy on the tongue." I'd like to know how easy. I didn't say that out loud right? I don't think I did because the next thing that happened was he took off his tank top.

"Holy ! It's a little too fast don't you think? We just learned each other's names and your-"

"I'm hot."

YES!

He smiles the smallest of smiles which by the way looks really good on him, and said "You're really not from around here are you?"

So after that I think we past our awkward phases as I told him my backstory and how I got here. And he too. Jiyong is actually a war veteran! He decided to legally move to Paris because he had nobody left back at Itaewon. I asked what does he earn for a living he just says he gets by. I didn't pry further because he has that sadness in his eyes. Although his eyes light up whenever I talk about designing and my dreams of becoming an artist one day. His hand would shake. I think he's cold. I put my hands on his. "Are you okay?"

He's silent. "I used to paint." Before I even opened my mouth words came pouring out of him. "Before the service, I was a mural artist. I painted my whole life. My whole life was painting. But my parents forced me to do my duties or they'll disown me. The idea sounded appealing at the time but I didn't have any money. I figured a year won't hurt. Plus they would pay for art school."

He got me in awe. This man.

This beautiful man.

He continued, "We got sent to North Korea during my service. I got shot at the back right here." He guides my hand that I never let go of his all the time we've talked. So warm. I could feel every ridge of his spine until it stops 2 inches from his jeans. "I have night sweats and tremors then. It was trauma but now it's just the tremors."

I grasped his hand tightly, feeling his agony of not being able to create anymore. "Hey, none of that." He wipes a lonely tear I didn't realize. "You're beautiful." He says out of the blue. I laughed. "I'm a crying mess. You say contradicting things, Jiyong."

We talked and talked until I didn't realize I slept in the living room. The sun shone bright from his window indicating that it's already late. "Oh my God. I'm late!" I straightened up and head for the bathroom. He seemed to have woke up because of the racket I made. When I came out of the bathroom he was already in a grey wifebeater and black ripped-at-the-knees jeans. Honestly, this man doesn't look like he's reached 30.

"Ya ready?" As a battery. We've walked for miles as I stopped to a halt and pulled him by the elbow. "Where do you usually grab breakfast?" He blinked dubiously. "What happened to 'first thing in the morning'?" I decided that I want to spend time a little longer with Jiyong. It's okay, right? He sighs. Did I say it again?

We took a right at an intersection into an alleyway full of cafes and homemade bakeries. The smell of freshly baked bread wafted through the air. "This all smells sooooo good. I can imagine a strawberry shortcake right about now. Or an apple crumble. Or cheese-" I got cut off as he pulled my hand     inside a bakery. Still holding my hand we were venturing the aisle of pastries. He smiled at the owner who was at the cashier. Who is Jiyong and why is he well known? Or people do know him? Is he respected in this town? 

"Pick whatever you like okay, baby?" What the did he just call me? He held me tighter as he whispered in my ear, lips touching. "Just go with it." I browsed through the row of baguettes. "Here, try this." He shoved a chocolate choux in my mouth.

"Mmph! Wa weh dat fo?!"

"Shut up." He says as he casually eats a pistacchio macaroon. He asks casually if I wanted the slices while stuffing goodies in his jacket. It made me sad a little, if this is what Jiyong has to do everyday to have something fill his stomach- I don't know what he'll do if he gets caught. Starve for days? He rubs his finger on the corner of my lips as he said I had cream. His hand lingered a beat longer as I become lost in his gaze that was not on my eyes rather on my lips.

"HEY! YOU!" The baker shouted. "," Jiyong murmured as he hurriedly grabbed my hand and ran out of the bakery as fast as we could.

It was an exhilirating feeling. It was roller coaster loops and pushed in a swimming pool. The adrenaline made me hear nothing but my own thumping heartbeat. His eyes made me see nothing but his own. The way his mouth curved into a wide grin tells me that he's smiling. The way we gasp out of breath tells us that we were laughing too hard. We don't give a about this world too much.

It was all doves flying and rainbows gliding as we ran into a culture festival in the town square. Brown eyes. Tangerine sheets. Flamenco music.

I swear we were infinite.

My legs gave out as I turn my head realizing I lost Jiyong. He was still in the crowd of dancers and performers. He was talking to a little girl with a red scarf. He crouched down and gave her what I think is the leftover pastries we took. She smiles. He smiles. My heart drops. The image in front of me makes me realize that I could never have this.

Have him.

This exact moment, forever.

He was just temporary.

I was leaving him sooner or later and I don't want this to end.He approached me as I stood there helplessly waiting for him to catch me as I cry my heart out. As if he knew, he enveloped me in his embrace. I was suffocated with sweat, musk, and fresh bakery.

Jiyong, Jiyong, Jiyong.

"I'M LEAVINGKSJMDBDJSBS" I sobbed through his shirt. He gave me a final squeeze as he looked at me square in the eye. "I know." I blinked the excess tears away which draws his hands on my face evening the moisture on my cheeks. "I hate that I can't see you anymore," I sobbed.

"Chaerin. Know that you can come back again. With the same wit and courage I saw in your eyes the first time we met. I don't want it to disappear. I don't want you disappear. Like me. You have your dreams and you can, and I want you to follow them. Nothing in this world can separate this pull between us. I trust you will come back with flying colors and I will be here where I will always be, waiting for you."

I choked an ugly sob.

"But-" I want to be with you!

"I'll see you when I see you." I want to see you everyday!

He took me as far as I could reach my train back to Schlitz. We held hands the entire time. I stayed silent. Absorbing the last bits of our moments together. The train came to a halt, I didn't dare to look up. Facing back reality. Facing her. Everyone. Instead he made me look up. I swear he was going to kiss me when he actually aimed at my mole below my lips.

"I'll see you when I'll see you?"

"I'll see you when I'll see you."

I got on the train sitting close to the window again, eager to see the view. Each tree has passed my face becomes warmer. My fingers trail the path where he kissed me there. I can still feel it. I actually believe him.

That I will see him when I see him.