When you don't know how to smile.

When you don't know how to cry.

When you don't know how to breath.

When you don't know how to live.

Jinhwans p.o.v

I silently cried. The inside of me was crying.

Loud.

Long.

Always.

I sat in class. Nobody noticed me. I was invisible. But I didn't care. That's how life is sometimes. When my life wants me to be alone, then I should take it like a man. I didn't pay attention to the teacher. I just sat there. Living my life. Living a useless life. Maybe I was not useless, but it felt like it. I didn't know that my life would change with just those few words.

"Everybody, say hello to our new student."

A young, about my age, taller than me, brown- haired boy stepped inside. He went next to the teacher and bowed. Then he looked at every person sitting in this room. His eyes jumped every time he looked at someone else.

"Please, introduce yourself."

He nodded and started speaking up.

"Hello, everybody. My name is Kim Hanbin. I'm a transfer student from Saruka High School. It's nice to meet you all. I hope we understand each other and thank you for taking care of me."

His voice was pretty high, not fitting his appearance at all. But he sounded fake. 'It's nice to meet you all.' sounded like 'Can't wait till I'm out of here.' And 'I hope we understand each other.' sounded like 'Don't talk to or you're dead.' For me everybody in this world sounded fake. Every sentence sounded half- hearted. That’s why I decided long ago not to trust anyone anymore.

The teacher said he should sit down on a free place. And of course my life loves me. The only free places where next to me or in front of the teacher. His decision was next to me, as if he would sat in front of the teacher. He walked over to me, sat down.

Not talking to me.

Not looking at me.

It was ok. I am used to it.

When the lesson ended he stood up. Me too.

He packed his things. Me too.

Not talking to me.

Not looking at me.

It was the last lesson of the school day and I was so ing happy to leave this school. I wasn't happy to go home. Not at all. Home was just another stupid word which would make my life only more useless.

When I was already out of the classroom, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around, straight looking in those light- brown eyes. It was Hanbin. Standing right in front of me, smiling. For a moment I was startled, but then he started talking.

"I wanted to ask if you could show me around."

I didn't answer. I just stood there, looking into those beautiful eyes. I was lost. How can someone have such beautiful brown eyes?

"Hello, anybody home?"

He waved his hand in front of my face. That’s when I snapped back into reality. I shouldn’t do it again. I should never do it again.

"What's wrong?"

He asked with his high voice, when he noticed that I wasn’t answering. I quickly looked at the ground. I couldn’t answer, I didn’t want to.

I hate talking.

I hate my voice.

I hate me.

"I-I have s-something t-to do."

I muttered, noticing the already light blush in my face. God, this was so embarrassing.

"Then how about tomorrow morning?"

I couldn't say no. He would notice that I didn't want to show him around. But I couldn’t bring my head to nod. My eyes were glued to the ground, my body wasn’t moving. If this would continue Hanbin would think I was weird, not that it would bother me. Everybody thought it, so what would one person change? Eventually I brought my head to move just a small little bit as an answer and then quickly turned around. I started going towards the big entrance door, which would give me my freedom for the rest of the day. I stopped when I saw him standing there.

"Jinnie, baby! Where were you during lunch breaks?"

He asked with his smug grin. I didn't answer. My eyes shot to the ground, I was too scared to look up. I was too scared of him.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

He pushed himself away from the wall. He came a little closer, but still stood far away, blessedly. I was still looking at the ground.

"L-leave me a-alone."

I muttered again.

"What? Speak out lo-"

"He said you should leave."

I jumped a little when I heard Hanbins voice right next to me. He heard what I said? And why is he protecting me? What is he doing? I glanced at him a second before I looked back to the floor.

"Who are you?"

"His cousin."

The high pitched voice was gone and a deep, very dominant voice appeared. I was a little surprised, but it still didn’t bring me to look at him. I was also surprised about that stupid lie he just told. Why was he lying for him?

"Ahh his cousin. Then you also a like him?"

I saw Hanbins fist twitching. Please just stay calm. It’s nothing, please just don’t say anything. I closed my eyes, not wanting to listen anymore.

"What if?"

Hanbin asked, his deep voice wasn't gone. I still had my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see reality right now. I wanted to disappear, wanted to get away, from Hanbin, from him. He then started laughing out loud. I jumped again when I felt Hanbins hand above mine.

"Come on. That's not our level."

He dragged me with him, around the loud laughing male.

"Yeah your level is lower."

He screamed, laughing at us before we went out of the building. We stopped a little farer away from the entrance door, Hanbin let go of my hand when we stood in front of the big school gate.

"So cousin, your name is Jinnie?"

What? No, my name is not Jinnie. How embarrassing. I felt myself blushing by those words.

"N-no."

I looked at the ground, stuttering the word out. One word and I can’t even say it right.

"Then tell me your name."

"I h-have to g-go."

I turned around and wanted to go through the big gate, but he grabbed my hand and turned me around, so that I was looking at him for a moment. But my eyes shot down to the floor again.

"No, tell me your name first or should I call you Jinnie?"

He asked grinning at me. I blushed again and this time my face went deep red, so that I was looking like a tomato. The way those words left his mouth was enough teasing.

"L-let me g-go."

"Say, do you stutter?"

I looked up and again straight into his eyes. How did he know? Well, yes, it was obvious but I barely talked just now. I was still looking him into the eyes and I…I melted.

But why?

"N-no."

"But you're stuttering all the time."

I know that, you don't have to tell me.

I finally looked back at the ground. God, why was I still standing here? Why was he still talking with me? Can’t he just let me be?

"C-can I go n-now? I h-have to."

But he didn't let go of my hand. Right, he was still holding it. And again I blushed, just because of the thought of it. I am so pathetic.

"Tell me your name."

"Why s-should I?"

My voice was quiet and I didn't understand how he could hear all words coming out of my mouth.

"Because you sit next to me and you're the only person I know in this school."

"T-then m-make f-friends."

"Later. But first, please, tell me your name."

It started to annoy me. Can't he stop talking? Why does he need to know my name? Just because he sits next to me? But it was the first time someone pleaded to know my name. It made me feel weird and dizzy. He needs to stop. Right now.

"J-jinh-hwan."

I couldn't even pronounce my own name clearly.

Pathetic.

"Finally!"

He said with his high pitched voice. Why was he so excited? So happy? Happy to know my name?

"C-can I g-go now?"

He let go of my hand and I turned around quickly. I didn’t want to be near him anymore. I still felt his stares in my back, but I tried hard to ignore them. I walked through the gate and sighed once I finally left the school ground. Now I was free, at least a little. I started going into the direction where my house was. I didn’t want to go home, yet. But somehow I just started walking into the direction. I just made a few steps and again somebody tapped on my shoulder. I turned around again.

Ok, so to everyone who already read the story and now is like: dafuq happened?

I decided to change my writing style a little so, don’t be confused.

Nothing changed in the story only some small details got attached (is that the word for it :D?)

For those who didn’t read it yet, hope you enjoyed reading it till here.

Yes, it is a little short, but it’s just the beginning so…yes. :D

(Nice explanation, bro *thumps up*)