Soojung walked on the streets bracing the cold wind, wishing the wind could take away all her worries. It has been postponed again, her debut. They said she wasn’t ready. Shortly after, she heard other staff talked about INFINITE’s new comeback concept. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t jealous. She had stepped into the company on the very same day as Hoya but she was still down here. And INFINITE has risen high up there, to a level she could seemingly never get to.  Stopping before the company, she threw the packet milk away. If they knew she was drinking these things again, the trainers would give her hell. Worse than the hell you can imagine.

“Is she a fan too?!”

“Why can she enter the building?”

“-I want to see INFINITE oppas too!!”

Soojung heard screams behind her as she walked past the security, flashing a weak smile at the guards who merely shook their heads. She bowed slightly at the staff along the aisle. Walking past the windows, Soojung looked at her own reflection. She attempted a smile which faded away within seconds. Soojung thought she looked awkward and her smile was unnatural. People said smiles always make one prettier but she never thought the same for her.

“Is it because I am not pretty enough?” she thought to herself.

Perhaps that was the reason she would never be enough to debut.

“Soojung, you’re still not ready.” She remembered the CEO’s words suddenly.

Those words from the examination round haunted her ever since. It always come back, as if mocking that she would never be good enough. He did not bother to tell her in what aspects she was not good enough in the previous quarterly examinations. She wanted to improve but she didn’t dare to ask. Maybe it was just a better way of saying, “I cannot debut someone like you.”

With deflated shoulders, Soojung looked away from the window panes. Her role models, SNSD were like goddesses but in comparison, she just looked so ordinary. Even the fans outside thought she was a fellow fan. She felt her heart sink a little deeper than where it already was at the thought of it. Seems like I will never get to debut, she thought to herself. Lost in her trace of thoughts, she bumped into someone rushing in the opposite direction.

“Sorry!” Soojung apologized frantically, bowing down.

“I should be the one saying ‘Sorry’ instead.” The person apologized.

“Hoya sunbaenim.” Soojung bowed again immediately upon recognizing his voice.

Hoya chuckled at her response, “Why are you being so formal? Just call me oppa will do.”

Hoya patted on her shoulder with a charming smile before leaving the stunned girl behind.

“Hoya oppa.” She whispered to herself with a meek smile.

“Crap.” Soojung checked her watch and found herself running like she never did.

“Lee Soojung, you’re late.” The trainer narrowed her eyes at the shorter girl with crossed arms.

“No dinner for you tonight.” She announced.

“Now, they are not giving me salad…” Soojung thought to herself, sighing mentally.

“I am sorry, this won’t happen again.” She bowed.

Sometimes, she wondered if anyone had died of starvation while waiting for their turn to debut.

-

The music blasted in the dance studio and she started learning ‘The Boys’ from the dance instructor. She bumped into the other trainee accidentally, stumbling a little. The trainee glared menacingly at her. Soojung knew better than to trifle with the girl. They said she had connections with the vice president of the company. She moved to the side to catch a better glance of the dance moves. She had to learn fast else, she would be scolded again. Most of the trainees there were pretty, talented and fast-learners. However, they were extremely competitive too. Everybody wanted to be the earlier one to stand on the dazzling stage with thousands of people chanting their names from below.

Just imagining about it gets Soojung excited, every single time. The thought of having so many fans loving her and supporting her was so beautiful. She would sing along with the fans, watch them wave their lightsticks at the same tempo as she sings and cry at her first win. People would be ecstatic just catching a glimpse of her or getting her signature. She smiled at the thought of it but whenever her daydream was over, she would realize she was still the pathetic soul waiting in line for her turn to debut. She wondered if there was probability that it would never be her turn.

Maybe, in the near future, she would be dropped. There were many cases in the past, after all. People mysteriously stopped coming for subsequent trainings. They didn’t even get to say ‘Goodbye.  It was rumoured that they were simply told not to come with their contracts torn before them. After all, there is a hidden clause in the contract that reserves the right of Woolliment to terminate the trainees without further notice the moment they see no value in grooming them. Everyone agreed to it unconditionally the moment they signed the contract.

-

It was round the corner of the quarterly talents test again. Soojung hated it the most because the trainers were extremely critical during these tests. And they would not hesitate to criticize you in front of everyone if you had slight mistakes or imperfections. Soojung was thankful her vocal and rapping abilities had saved her from those nightmares. However, many others were not so lucky. There was once a girl had run out of the room after hearing the judges’ comments. And that was the last time Soojung had seen her. It was rumoured that she chose the easier way out.

Soojung felt her world spin as she sat on the ground. She had been practicing for 24hours non-stop but it was still not enough. She was getting from bad to worse. She would be dropped at this rate. Soojung started crying at the thought of it. She cannot go home. Not now. Not after everything she had been through. She had worked so hard to get her foot into this company. She had worked so hard to stay in Woollim. And she had worked so hard towards the dazzling stage she always wanted to stand on. She wanted people to see her. She wanted to be successful like SNSD, like INFINITE, like everyone else. But she was Lee Soojung.

“Can I really do it?” she finally asked herself.

More tears fell as her dream wavered. She was no longer sure whether she could make it to the end. Her chance to debut seemed further and further away. The silence was daunting and each second passing made her doubt herself a little more inside.

“You can.”

She paused for a second, wiping away the tears b in her eyes. Turning around, she saw Sunggyu leaning against the door with his eyes fixed on her.

“You can do it.” He affirmed.

Soojung instantly stood up, adjusting her training attire and looked down in embarrassment.

“I am sorry. Please forget what you’ve heard. I know I shouldn’t have sai-”

“It’s normal.” He cut in.

“I'm sorry Sunggyu sunbaenim, could you please repeat what you said again?” she asked and met his serious gaze.

“I said it’s normal to feel that way. I’ve been through it before too. It will be over soon, that feeling.” Sunggyu said.

“Thank you.” Soojung felt herself gain strength at his words.

“Hwaiting!” Sunggyu did the ‘fighting’ pose and smiled cutely.

Soojung returned the gesture and smiled back.

He left but his words remained. Soojung continued practicing and she felt she was getting better. The tiredness was washed away with Sunggyu’s words. At the back of her mind, she wondered when Sunggyu passed by the practice studio.

“You can do it, Lee Soojung.” She looked herself in the mirror and said it.

“Where did you go, hyung?” Woohyun asked.

“Nowhere. Just the toilet.” Sunggyu replied, waving it off. 

Author's Note: 
Anyone else found Sunggyu and Baby Soul super cute at the interview too?! :D 
Hope you like the new fic and do leave me some comments! <3