Zhoumi knocked on the dorm room door. Oddly enough, after that morning’s sudden kiss, Kyuhyun said he wanted to be alone. Without telling Zhoumi anything, he changed and left for some unknown destination. It sort of stung but at the same time, he had to wonder…why didn’t it hurt more?

The University dorm buildings were far larger than the High School Division but the rooms were also built like apartments. Instead of two to a room, there were four to an apartment. It was an attempt to simulate the real world, and for the most part it succeeded. Well, that’s what Eunhyuk had told Zhoumi at least.

Since there was nothing to do and he certainly wasn’t going to go be abused by Key at KUG, he decided to pay Eunhyuk a visit at the University. No, it wasn’t really a friendly visit – when was it ever – but he did have an urge to see the older boy.

A handsome boy answered the door, dressed in only boxers. His hair was a wreck and his eyes were a bit irritated but other than that yes, he was incredibly attractive. Zhoumi flushed, shifting his stance a bit. “Excuse me, is Eunhyuk here?” he asked.

“Huh? Hyukjae?” the University student mumbled, scratching his head and yawning. “Ah, yeah he’s asleep. You can come in if you want.” He stepped away from the door, opening it wider to reveal a rather spacious living room and kitchen.

“T-Thanks,” Zhoumi answered, smiling a bit and walking inside. “My name is Zhoumi. I’m a third year in the High School Division,” he introduced, offering his hand to the relatively man.

The latter’s eyes fluttered in surprise. “Oh…no wonder…,” he mumbled, smirking softly and taking the hand, “I’m Changmin. Nice to meet you Zhoumi. If you want, I’ll take you to Hyukjae’s room.”

“Oh, sure,” Zhoumi smiled tentatively, unsure what to make of the smirk.

Changmin led the way down a hall, stopping at a door near the end. He turned the knob, indicating with his head for Zhoumi to go inside. Once the younger boy was passed the threshold, he closed the door.

Zhoumi hadn’t really been expecting that but he didn’t particularly mind. A grin worked its way onto his lips as he eyed the sleeping blonde. Eunhyuk was half off the bed, his sheets following the sloppy behavior. The normally fixed blonde hair was sticking up in weird places and appearing to be the only spot of bright color in the dim room. A wife beater clung to his muscular frame, backside showing.

Stealthily, he crept over to Eunhyuk, preparing to shock the older boy. Zhoumi opened his mouth, leaning down. He was about to shout something to scare him the head of blonde shot up.

Eunhyuk grabbed Zhoumi around the neck and head, yanking him down onto the bed. In a flash, he pinned the younger male to the gray bed sheets. “You really want it this early Changmin?” he murmured with a chuckle, eyes half closed and very obviously half asleep.

“W-Wait,” Zhoumi yelped but then he felt oh-so familiar lips crashing down on his. Eunhyuk swallowed all of the indignant cries, forcing his tongue into the quickly submitting mouth.

His lower body dropped onto Zhoumi’s, giving him the chance to push the latter’s loose shirt up. “I like it better when you sleep in the ,” Eunhyuk remarked, nibbling at the boy’s throat as his fingers fondled the slim body. “Dude…where’d your abs go?” he laughed, a soft spot near Zhoumi’s jaw.

A moan escaped his mouth, eyes closing as he tried to control his body’s reaction to the ministrations. His heartbeat accelerated – beating faster than it had beat in months.

Suddenly everything stopped. Zhoumi felt the person hovering over him jerk back, forcing both of them to get to sitting positions.

Eunhyuk was covering his mouth, eyes large. “Oh my god…oh my ing god,” he whispered.

Zhoumi was breathing heavily, clothing disheveled. His face was deeply flushed. “I-I…sorry, I was just trying to surprise you…”

“…no,” he shook his head, looking around the room as if there would be an answer to all of his problems somewhere. “Don’t apologize. It was my mistake. I’m so sorry Zhoumi.” Eunhyuk backed away more, nearly falling off the bed.

Zhoumi wouldn’t allow a silence to settle though. “…I didn’t know you were with Changmin-hyung. He seems like a really nice guy…”

“Ah, he is,” the older one mumbled, still trying to get over his shock and guilt, “…but we’re just fooling around…nothing serious. …Why are you here Mi?”

Something wet hit the palms of his hands and he had to look down to see what it was. “Oh…,” Zhoumi mumbled, wiping at the tears.

Eunhyuk scrambled forward, taking the other boy’s wrists and pulling them away from his face. “Why are you crying?” he asked anxiously, his fingers warm around Zhoumi’s thin wrists.

Unconvincingly, he laughed, the noise distorted by trembles. “K-Kyu,” Zhoumi saw the flicker of anger in Eunhyuk’s gaze at the mention of his boyfriend, “don’t be mad…or I don’t know actually…Kyuhyun kissed me…but it was to show that Ryeowook person – you know his old friend – that he didn’t care about him anymore. I…that’s not a good reason to kiss your lover is it…?”

Eunhyuk offered comforting words but none of it processed. Originally, Zhoumi came to see the blonde because of Kyuhyun …but were the tears really because of Kyuhyun’s cold brashness? Because all Zhoumi could think about was how Eunhyuk was sleeping with Changmin and not him.

***

Kyuhyun ran down the soccer field, kicking the ball into the goal. The black and white sphere slammed into the worn-out net with a soft thumping sound. Sweat dripped down his neck, sliding past his loose white t-shirt.

He had finally said it. He had finally told Ryeowook all of the things he had held back from saying over the years. Kyuhyun was supposed to be feeling on top of the world – light as air. Yet there he was in an empty soccer field kicking ball after ball into an old goal to clear his mind. Instead of feeling better, somehow his head was pounding and his chest hurt.

Slumping down in the grass, Kyuhyun threw his head back, stretching out on the soft green field. He didn’t mean the last part. He really would care if Ryeowook died. No – he rolled onto his side – Kyuhyun knew for a fact that if Ryeowook ever died…there’d really be no point in living without him.

Living apart from Ryeowook was one thing.

Living without Ryeowook was another thing.

So why had he said all of that? Well, it was the truth. Those were his feelings…at the time.

Just, now he was praying that the kid wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Kyuhyun clenched his fists, eyes squeezing shut in aggravation. What the was going on with him? Why wouldn’t he stop thinking about Ryeowook like he said? It was always Ryeowook, Ryeowook, and more Ryeowook.

How could he ever explain that he didn’t want the kid, but at the same time he didn’t want anyone else to have him? Or rather, no one else would ever be able to match Kyuhyun.

No one was good enough for Ryeowook. No one but Kyuhyun.