SEHUN HAS BEEN sitting limply on the edge of his bed for the whole ing day, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, not even moving an inch. He's gone insane, he knows he has; so for the first time in twenty ing hours, he stands up and decides to take a walk outside.

He enters a quaint convenience store downtown, the bells clinking against each other as he opens the door. He reaches for something he has not imagined ever in his life to touch. The little box feels odd and awkward in his clammy hands, but he still purchases the box of nicotine-filled sticks anyway.

Sitting down on the lifeless bench by the bus stop, he awkwardly lights one cigarette, not exactly knowing how things work. With a quivering hand, he raises the stick to his lips and tries his very first puff. The sensation brings him to tears and makes him choke and cough up violently but to his surprise, it felt nice - addictive, almost. Inhaling the nicotine and allowing smoke to fill his lungs, Oh Sehun has never felt more relieved in his life. Now he finally understands why smokers can't stop smoking albeit this being his first time.

Before he lights his third stick, however, Sehun's phone vibrates in his pocket, a message coming in but not from the devil himself. He only then notices how many messages he has received throughout the day asking him where he went, but none of which came from him. Cursing himself, he throws the unlit cigarette and down it goes to the ground. And so does his phone.

x x x

SEHUN FINDS HIMSELF buying his seventh box of cigarettes in the same little convenience store as last night. The lady over the cashier was already giving him strange looks by then but he couldn't care less. Unable to stop himself from inhaling the comfort the cig gives, he heaves a felicitous sigh and smiles bitterly to himself. "I miss you," he mutters in his nicotine-induced voice.

He reaches for his phone in his pocket but finds it to be empty except for his trusty lighter. The gangly idiot almost slaps himself when he remembers he threw it away last night. Sehun shrugs and walks off without any idea of where he's headed to.

x x x

HE REMEMBERS HIS very first puff in the bus stop. He remembers how much relief and comfort it gave his miserable state. Then he remembers his second puff which was much, much better than the first - which led him to the third and so on and so forth.

Now Oh Sehun cannot stop.

He doesn't even go back to the dorms anymore. He stays in the same lifeless bench by the bus stop and purchases the same box again and again and again, waiting for the box to become empty - again. He only came back to his room once when he was out of money to buy those nicotine-filled sticks. He's cooped up on the bench, still thinking about him, which makes him feel a lot tier about himself. He laughs mirthlessly. "Jesus, spare the life of the devil."

x x x

IS IT BECAUSE of the dark bags under his eyes? Or because of the dirty and filthy clothes he has been wearing for four days now? Or maybe because of the awful, awful smell of smoke, sweat, and despair that's reeking from him? Either way, Sehun has attracted quite a few pairs of judgemental eyes as he roams the city streets and slums, holding onto his cigarettes like a lifeline.

He misses him.

God, he misses him.

How could he not? They were always together - day and night - like two pieces of paper stuck together by a chewed up gumwad. That's exactly how their relationship was. It was sweet and soft and who the doesn't like chewing gumwads? But then again, gums get a bit tiring to chew and it loses its taste after a while. Maybe that's why he broke his promise. Maybe that's why he up and got ready to go leave him in pieces. Maybe maybe mayb-

He couldn't live with another maybe.

He needs an answer.

Oh Sehun is desperate for an answer.

The next things he did became a blurry haze of get me one ticket and Guangzhou and where's the damned bag and screw the ing bag and I need to ing shave and screw the damned scruff and Guangzhou Guangzhou Guangzhou Luhan Luhan Guangzhou Guangzhou Luhan Luhan Luhan Luhan. . .

x x x

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG with seeing him again, right? He just needs some ansers to his questions, that's all. He just needs to clear up his mind before he goes completely insane. For a moment, he thought he was. The plane boarded late, flew late, landed late but now that's all at the back of his mind. He's arrived, finally.

Sehun wanders around, not really knowing where to go. The poor idiot is too dense and too tense to ask for directions, too prideful to ask the devil himself.

His (new) phone vibrates. A message from one of his hyungs back home. He can never be more grateful for good samaritans helping him out when he's in need.

The text consists of ten words and ten words only: "I know what you're planning to do. I'll help you."

Sehun rings up Zhang Yixing hastily and bombards him with frustrated questions, all of which Yixing only laughed off. The angel who keeps in contact with their hyung instructs him where he can find the said boy and the fair maknae blurts out a speedy "thanks hyung you're the best" and rams the phone back into his pocket.

x x x

HE HAS PICTURED OUT out how Luhan would appear when they would see each other again: still godly, still (feeling) manly, and still the love of his life. Even though he left, Sehun will never never never stop loving him.

His visions of their reunion were pretty accurate, actually. Luhan - standing there in all his glory - is still godly, still (really) manly, and still (undoubtedly) the love of his life.

But it seems like he missed out one little thing.

There's somebody else by his side. And she's pretty.

She's pretty and she's cute and she's nice and she knows when to laugh and she knows when to not laugh and she makes Luhan feel manly and she's the love of his life.

She's everything Sehun is not.

x x x

SEHUN LIGHTS HIS eleventh cigarette for the night. He laughs bitterly at his worrisome state. Who would have thought that the once smiling, once giddy, and once happy Oh Sehun would be smoking in the sophisticated night streets of Guangzhou?

He knew coming here would be a bad idea. He knew he'll regret it if he came and ask for answers. He knew his hyung, his friend, his brother would be here, of course. And he knew that there might be the small possibility that he might have found somebody else. He knew, he knew, he knew-

Yet he came.

And now he weeps.

Oh Sehun boards the next flight home - sorry as that he even went there, that he even thought of going there, when the one he needed most obviously had someone else there for him.