If you asked Yixing ten years ago back when he was starting high school and his only friends were the other four Chinese transfers that later in life he would be dating the most famous celebrity in Asia, he probably would have laughed until he cried.

Then again, even if you asked him that now, he’d still do the same.

Because the last time he checked, he wasn’t ing the hottest super model known to man. He would have at least noticed something like that. Or he didn’t think he was, not until he the news to see his face plastered all over it with the streaming words: CONFIRMED! SUPERSTAR WU YIFAN DATING CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART, ZHANG YIXING!

Yixing had promptly dropped his strawberry yogurt in shock, the contents splattering onto the hardwood floor at his feet along with his spoon, dragging his fingers through his hair instead. The TV was now showing an interview from earlier that day in which Wu Fan was talking about how they were together since high school, and that they stayed under the radar for all these years until after Wu Fan decided to come out as openly gay last year.

Okay, so yeah, Yixing and Wu Fan were super close in high school and college. They used to hang out and skip class together all the time, going over to each other’s homes to play video games. Yixing may have had an extremely gay and not-so-secret crush on the taller, way more attractive boy, but the reality of the situation is that Yixing hasn’t spoken to Wu Fan once since the elder graduated from their university. At least, not after Yixing confessed his feelings and Wu Fan turned him down with a “I’m really, really sorry” and then disappeared out of his life.

Sure, Yixing was shocked when Wu Fan came out as gay last year – who wasn’t? – but Yixing wasn’t really bitter about it. They were only in college after all, and the feelings he had at the time probably meant nothing now that Yixing thinks back on it. He’s had plenty of relationships since then, mostly casual. It really wasn’t a big deal. So what if that the guy he used to be irrevocably in love with was now super famous and a million times ier than before? Whatever. He was over it. Yeah.

But then this happened.

The first call Yixing gets that day is while the news about him and Wu Fan is still airing, the interview with the celebrity replaying every five ing minutes and still making Yixing double take every time the words ‘in love since high school’ came out of Wu Fan’s mouth. When he checks the caller ID before picking up, it’s unsurprisingly from Lu Han.

“What in the actual am I watching?” Lu Han demands without preamble, like always, but this time with a tone of hysteria that he shared with Yixing. Lu Han had also been among the four Chinese transfer students, and they’d been best friends the second they realized how much sick enjoyment they got out of making Wu Yifan and anyone else within an arm’s length suffer with their pranks.

“I honestly have no idea,” is all Yixing can respond with, now pacing the length of the living room with his other hand still dragging through his hair. His heart is racing from shock and his eyes feel like they’re about to drop out of his skull; he might start hyperventilating any second now. He’s even chewing at his lower lip again, a bad habit he thought he’d gotten rid of after mastering the Korean language and no longer feeling like an idiot every time he opened his mouth. “I thought I was hallucinating or something, but now that I know that you’re seeing this too, it can’t be a joke, right?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s not a joke. I see it too.” Lu Han pauses for a second, probably listening to the interview again. “I thought that Wu Fan turned you down years ago?“ When he pauses again, Yixing can practically hear Lu Han’s eyes narrowing with accusation. “Don’t tell me you were lying to me all this time.”

“Lu!” Yixing yells shrilly at him through the phone. “Not helping!”

“I don’t know what else to say!” is all Lu Han replies with, and he sounds as equally as panicked at Yixing. “You guys haven’t spoken in forever! What the hell is even going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know–” Yixing cuts off abruptly when he hears more honking and other loud noises outside of his home. He’d been hearing it all morning but the sound hadn’t really registered until he heard a guy yelling his name. He moves over to his window to pull back the curtain and, holy hell believe it or not, there were actual paparazzi camping outside of his place with their mic and cameras at the ready, eyes zeroing in on Yixing the second he pulls back the curtain.

Before the first camera can flash, Yixing is already dragging the curtain closed, panic attack at the ready as he collapses onto the ground with his back against the window. “Oh god!” he cries out, tearing up. Wu Fan was a big deal in the entertainment industry, and something as huge as him having a boyfriend was bound to ruin Yixing’s life even after he explains to everyone what a big mistake it all is. Any chances of Yixing continuing to teach music at the middle school where his job was already being threatened of being dropped due to lack of money, was definitely out the window now. An openly gay music teacher instructing the youth? One that was dating a world famous celebrity? if he ever gets hired again. “Oh my god.”

“What happened?” Lu Han sounds even more worried now, with every right to be. “Do you need me to come over? I can be there right now, if you–”

“No, don’t!” Yixing interrupts. “The reporters are crawling everywhere! There is no way for you to come over without causing drama.”

“You mean more than there already is about to be?” the other decides to remind him. “Didn’t Zitao also have the biggest crush on him back in high school, too?”

In light of everything that has happened so far, Yixing had completely forgotten about Zitao, the youngest of the only four transfers. The two of them never did have much in common, other then their crushes on Wu Fan, so they didn’t hang out much outside of school. Between the two of them only Yixing had confessed, but after he’d been turned down, Zitao had become a good friend to him over the years. Things were different now though and he dismisses Lu Han’s worries with a wave of his hand. “He’s been dating Sehun now since college, don’t you remember?”

Lu Han pauses for a second before he finally remembers. “Oh, yeah! That Korean kid with the resting -face, right?”

“Lu,” Yixing whines, calming down enough that his panic was now turning into stress. “We shouldn’t be discussing Zitao’s love life right now. We need to deal with my very real and very immediate problem. What do you think I should do? Confront the paparazzi and tell them it was all a huge misunderstanding?” As soon as the words come out of his mouth, the sounds outside get even rowdier, startling him. More of the paparazzi must have showed up. He groans internally. Yixing doesn’t do well with large crowds of hostile people; there was no way he could go out there now.

“Well, hasn’t Wu Fan contacted you at all over the years?” Lu Han finally asks, curious. “Like, not even once? You guys used to be so close.”

There is a very sudden and very noticeable twinge in Yixing’s heart that he didn’t know he could still have, and the feeling startles him for a second as he rests his hand on his chest. “Never, not since you guys graduated.” He sounds a lot more disappointed than he intended to be, but luckily Lu Han doesn’t seem to notice. “I’ve changed my phone twice since then, so he can’t possibly have my number, either.”

“About that–”

Lu Han’s words cut off when his phone beeps with an incoming call. He thinks nothing of it first, glancing at the unknown caller ID for a second. Yixing isn’t one to give out his number often so he decides to answer the call, putting Lu Han on hold in case it was important. “Hold on a second. Hello?” There is a beat of silence where Yixing thinks the call was a mistake, not a single sound on the other end of the line.

But then: “Xing?”

Yixing can pretend all he wants that he hasn’t kept up with Yifan – that he hasn’t watched every movie or drama, listened to every single, flipped through every magazine featuring his friend – but the second that familiar voice pours through his phone and into his ear, he’d be a goddamned liar if he pretended not to recognize that same rough voice, the one that hasn’t changed a bit since the last time he heard it say his name.

“Fan?” the nickname comes out almost too easily, making him feel self-conscious and embarrassed. Yixing hates how the blush immediately crawls up the back of his neck and into his ears, slowly spreading into his cheeks. He’d forgotten how easily Wu Fan could make him blush without even lifting a finger; Yixing had always been perpetually red around him, hence his not-so-secret crush. Honestly, he was shocked Wu Fan hadn’t rejected him sooner, but thinking back, Wu Fan had always been too nice for his own good. It was no wonder he had no idea how to properly reject Yixing’s feelings without being guilty about hurting him.

“Yeah, it’s me. Look, I know you must be shocked right now,” Wu Fan’s voice sounds sheepish even over the phone, tapering off at the end, and it makes Yixing a bit more confident.

Sighing heavily, he replies, “You don’t say? Fan, what’s going on?”

Wu Fan doesn’t respond immediately, and there is scuffling noise coming from his side of the line before the sound of people yelling and shouting fill his ear. Yixing has to move the phone away, that’s how loud it gets. When he does this though, he can hear similar sounds outside, and Yixing swears he can feel his stomach dropping to floor.

“Oh my god,” he whispers to himself before scrambling to his knees, pulling the curtain to side to peek out. Sure enough, there a huge black luxury van parked on the street with the paparazzi swarming around it. It looks like a red carpet event, that’s how many people are there, fans and reporters alike. Between them, Yixing can see six hulking body guards forming a circle around a very familiar and extremely tall person who is wearing sunglasses, a wide brim hat pulled low and a cell phone pressed to his ear. Yixing is sure his heart is about to beat out of his chest, it’s thudding so hard. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone made him feel like this. It’s been so long, but just the sight of Wu Fan approaching still makes him so completely breathless.

Suddenly, all he can remember is all times in high school when Wu Fan would hold him close to his side, making sure the bullies never lay a finger on him because of how easy Yixing had been to pick on. The times when Wu Fan would patiently help Yixing with his homework because of how much Yixing struggled with reading the Korean text, so much that he cried. Those thunderous moments in college during parties when Yixing was sure Wu Fan would finally lean in to kiss him, he was just so damn close, his breath on his cheek, and Yixing could count every single lash. Most of all, the memory he remembers the best is the way Wu Fan had looked straight into his eyes and apologized so sincerely that he couldn’t return Yixing’s feelings, his large hands warm and firm around both of Yixing’s, squeezing so tightly that Yixing’s chest felt like it could burst.

No, Yixing never could hold a single grudge against Wu Yifan, could never be bitter towards him, could never dislike him; not when Wufan made the time they spent together so painfully beautiful that Yixing still had dreams about him. Just saying they were “close” could never even cut it. How could Yixing be mad at him when, from the very beginning, he never even deserved Wu Fan in the first place?

“I’m at the door,” Wu Fan’s voice filters through the phone and Yixing is sure he’s going to puke as he stands on trembling legs. He’s not even sure what he’s going to say to Wu Fan in person when they’re finally looking at each other face to face. Yixing isn’t even sure he could look at him directly without fainting. He’s already speaking to him on phone, but the prospect of actually seeing him again is frightening. “Can you let me in?”

All this time Yixing was so sure he was over Wu Fan, but just those five words make goose bumps rise on his flesh. “I don’t think I can.” Yixing’s voice is shaky. He’s scared. He’s actuallyscared.

“I can wait, if you need time to forgive me,” Wu Fan responds after a few seconds. His voice is low even though the sounds of the paparazzi yelling questions at him can still be heard through the phone.

“I’m not angry,” Yixing responds immediately, a little too quickly.

Wu Fan sounds surprised. “You’re not upset that I lied?”

Yixing doesn’t say anything at first, walking towards the door and carefully leaning against it. He wonders how close Wu Fan is to him this very second, and closes his eyes. All these years the elder has felt so distant, so untouchable, but now all they had between them was literally a piece of wood. For some reason, that thought comforts him. “You were half right, anyway. I have been in in love with you since high school.”

There is silence from the elder on the other line; Yixing can hear his breathing, soft and steady. “What if I told you that I was in love with you, too?”

Yixing eyes fly open. “You’re lying.” His heart is still racing but it feels like it’ll stop any second now, it was going so fast.

“We were still in school and I was selfish. I wanted to be famous but I knew that I couldn’t be if we were together. I hope you know that the last thing I wanted was to keep you a secret. If I had you, I would have proudly told everyone. I would have screamed it from the top of the buildings, I would have tattooed your name onto my skin, I would have kissed you in public and held your hand and asked you to marry me even though we live in a society where I would lose everything for being openly gay.

“But then as the years went by, I realized what a ing idiot I was. I woke up every day and thought of what you were doing at that moment, how your life has been, if you were thinking about me or not. I woke up wishing you were with me, that I hadn’t sacrificed what we could have been for the sake of being famous.” Wu Fan’s voice is so sincere that it’s unbelievable; Yixing can almost hear the furrow in his brows, the way he rubs the back of his neck when he’s lost in thought. At his words, Yixing is speechless, hand pressed against his mouth as he continues to listen.

“It’s not an excuse but I did something drastic and stupid and completely selfish again, because you and I both know that I’ll probably never change. I woke up this morning and couldn’t take it anymore. I was so tired of thinking about what we could have been that it just slipped out during that interview. I didn’t even consider that you could be in a stable relationship now, that maybe you hated me and didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, that you probably moved on and only I was living in the past. I didn’t deserve your feelings then, Xing, and if you even have even a little of it left inside of you, I still don’t deserve them now.”

There is a thump against the door that makes Yixing jump, startled from the vibration; Wu Fan is probably resting his head against the door, and they’re even closer than they were before. “You can say no. I promise won’t force you into anything because of my selfishness,” Wu Fan continues when Yixing still doesn’t reply. “I’ll admit it to everyone that I was being desperate, so don’t worry about the consequences, okay? Just give an answer so I can either get drunk and hate myself for losing the best thing that had ever happened to me, or kiss you until you forget how much of a ing idiot I am.”

Even though he is hearing it all firsthand, Yixing still can’t seem to get a grasp on the truth, the shock and suddenness of everything rendering him speechless. Out of everything he ever expected happening, this was probably the last thing. He can feel the tears gathering in his eyes, thinking back again to all the times where he was sure Wu Fan felt the same as him and realizing that he’d actually been right. All this time, his heart had been right about Wu Fan. Every time Wu Fan had touched him, had looked at him, had leaned in so close that they could have kissed if they were any closer – he wasn’t the only one feeling it. He hadn’t been deluding himself. Yixing hadn’t ruined their friendship with his dumb feelings like he thought he had for all these years.

Yixing had always wished he’d kept his mouth shut, that he never confessed, because then maybe he and Wu Fan would still have been friends. Yixing wouldn’t have minded being unrequited for the rest of his life if it meant seeing Wu Fan every day, if it meant feeling those kind eyes looking at him, those warm hands touching him, that smile directed at him. He thought he’d have to resign the rest of his life to watching interviews and flipping through magazines at the checkout counter after shopping.

But then this.

The best part? Wu Fan didn’t want him to be a secret. He wanted Yixing and he wanted everyone to know that he wanted him. By telling the world that he was still in love with him, Wu Fan had apologized for all the time he’d wedged in between them, for that single second that it took for him to break Yixing’s heart and then piece it back together when he apologized and truly meant it. It had been like ripping off a bandaid, turning Yixing down and then leaving. Wu Fan could easily have been more selfish, could have kept his relationship with Yixing a secret while he went out and told everyone that he wasn’t in love with his best friend, that he wasn’t dating anyone. He could have easily done that, but he chose not to. Even now, Wu Fan is still choosing Yixing, unapologetic in his feelings.

He must take too long to answer because Yixing can feel the weight of Wu Fan’s head shifting off the door, the sound that his shoes make when he steps back. “I’m sorry for bothering you with this,” Wu Fan whispers into the phone, his voice softer and weaker than Yixing can ever remember hearing, the same way he sounded when he said goodbye to him all those years ago. “Thank you for listening, at least. I’ll leave now.”

Yixing has never opened his door so fast before in his life, the sound of it slamming against the side of his apartment so loud that it echoes into the open air. The first time Yixing lays his eyes on Wu Fan again up close and in person after so long, Yixing’s dark hair is curly and sticking to his face from the shower he’d taken earlier, cheeks wet with tears he’d been holding back, wearing his wrinkled pair of sweats and favorite old band t-shirt (one that he’d borrowed from Wu Fan all those years ago, and if the elder recognizes it, he doesn’t say anything). Wu Fan is just as tall and handsome in person now, thick eyebrows raised with shock and eyes rimmed red, visible only because he’d taken off his sun glasses; he’s wearing his designer jeans and an expensive leather jacket, utterly pretentious and stupid, but it wouldn’t be Wu Fan if it wasn’t.

“You’re an idiot,” is all Yixing says before running over and slamming his body into Wu Fan’s, wrapping his arms around his firm waist and burying his face into his chest. And when Wu Fan wraps his arms around Yixing, tight and warm and familiar and exactly the same as always, Yixing truly feels like everything is right with the world again.

“I am,” Wu Fan agrees; he sounds choked up, like the big baby he is. Yixing wants to giggle because he feels so lightheaded, unable to believe this was actually happening. Like a dream. If it was, Yixing hopes he never wakes up. As if sensing Yixing’s doubt, Wu Fan pulls back a little to look down at Yixing, cupping a warm hand against his cheek and making him look up. He runs his thumb just under Yixing’s lower lash, catching the droplets against his finger and wiping them away. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice gone soft.

Yixing’s cheeks turn pink and he shakes his head, burying his face back into Wu Fan’s chest. “Since you asked, you can’t. It’s too embarrassing. Why are you still so embarrassing?”

Wu Fan chuckles, and that’s when he remembers that they have an audience, cameras flashing like crazy. “But I can come inside now, right?”

“Stop asking for things and just do them,” Yixing replies, voice muffled. “I won’t say no.” He doesn’t want to let go of Wu Fan anymore, basking in the warmth of his body. The longer he holds on to him, the more real everything is. He remembers Lu Han on the other line in the back of his head but decides that he doesn’t care. He’s heard enough of him, honestly. “I’ve been waiting too long for this.”

Wu Fan doesn’t say anything at first, pausing for a second, before he’s pulling Yixing back inside and promptly closing the door behind him. Yixing notices that he left his six disgruntled bodyguards outside and is about to comment on it when suddenly he’s being pressed up against the door and Wu Fan’s lips are finally, finally on his, hot and a little chapped, but that changes quickly the longer they kiss. Yixing melts like putty in his hands, legs going weak and eyes fluttering shut. “I’ve been dreaming about this for years,” Wu Fan admits between kisses, just before his tongue slides along the seam of Yixing’s lips, slick and wet, making him whimper. “They can wait outside for a bit longer, don’t you think?”

Yixing twists his fingers into the lapels of Wu Fan’s stupid leather jacket and pulls him closer. He couldn’t agree more.

a/n: ayyyyyyy i’m supposed to be doing other things but this prompt was so inspiring that i had to keep writing it until i was satisfied orz

if you’re fanxing trash, say i ;u;