August, 2009

Ryosuke

Soon, my hospital life begins. I was given my own room at the pediatric ward of the specialized hospital that I was admitted in. Ryu and Mirai assisted my parents to take care of my moving procedures, while all I could do was lay on my bed, as my surgery wounds needs process to recover. My parents had to be there for Misaki, so, like how they promised to me, they went to Misaki for the rest of the day, while Mirai and Ryu stayed to look after me. I was very thankful to have them.

Ryu even went to the extent of bringing my saxophone, his guitar, and Mirai’s keyboard into the room.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. The three of us also play music together.

“Hey, I’m doing this for Mirai and I,” Ryu said, before I could even make any comments. He gave Mirai a secret wink, and Mirai just giggled silently at it. “So you can play a swag jazz melody for us, while Mirai accompanies on the keyboard and I jammed out on the guitar—“

“Dude, you know this is a hospital, right?” I laughed, but my face was still amused by his action.

Ryu placed the saxophone beside my bed, above the holder.

“This is so it’s easy for you to reach,” he added, giving me a wink. “Just in case you get bored.”

“The head nurse could skin me alive if I ever try making any tone with that thing,” I chuckled, pointing at the silver saxophone. Seems like Ryu had been polishing it before he brought it here. It was shimmering under the room light.

“Come on dude, let’s have a try,” Ryu suggested. “We haven’t played for a while. What do you say Mirai-chan?”

“I don’t know…” Mirai seemed hesitating. “Can we really do that here?”

“I’ll take full responsibility if ever it gets us into trouble,” Ryu insisted.

“Hey, I’m at a serious disadvantage here,” I objected. “The keyboard has a volume control, the guitar doesn’t sound that noisy if you strum it slowly, but this thing,” I pointed at the saxophone. “This will wake an entire herd of lions in Zimbabwe if ever it got blown from Egypt.”

My hyperbolic remark received a laughter from both Mirai and Ryu.

“How about, you guys play me a song instead?” I offered.  

Ryu and Mirai exchanged glances.

“Pleaaaaase…..” I pleaded, giving them my best rounded puppy dog-eyes.

“Ugghh, it’s that eyes, I can’t stand it,” Mirai said, started with a look of protest, but continued to a laughter. “Fine, what do you want us to play, soccer boy?”

She casually calls me with names ever since we became friends. It never changed even after we dated.

I search my head for a while.

“What about a Thousand Miles?” I blurted randomly.

“Vanessa Charlton?” Ryu confirmed. I nodded.

I instantly shot a look at Mirai. I noticed her instant blush. I had expected that. It was the song that I once serenaded to her during one of her birthday. I wanted to laugh at her cute expression. The song has quiet a meaning for both of us, so no wonder if she would get flustered about it.

“You sing, okay?”

“Eh?” I was caught off guard by Mirai’s further response. She was unexpectedly fast in recovering from her embarrassment. I thought she was going to refuse it. “I never said I was going to—“

“I haven’t heard you sing for a while,” she said smiling wide.

It’s true that I like singing. But it’s not like I’m some professional singer. I only sing for a hobby. And sometimes I do serenade Mirai at times.

“Pleaaaaaase….” she pleaded, this time, giving her own rounded puppy dog-eyes. Those cute big brown eye s with beautifully curved eye-lashes… nobody could stand it. Not even the legendary puss-in-boots puppy dog-eyes could beat it.

“Urgh, you’re so not creative Mirai-chan,” I laughed, half complaining. “You stole my move.”

“Gosh, get a room you two, will ya?” Ryu interrupted. “I’m still here, ya know.”

Mirai and I ended up laughing at Ryu’s sudden jealousy.

Before I could object any further, Ryu was already starting to strum on the guitar with the chord pattern of A Thousand Miles. Accepting her code, Mirai immediately went to sit in front of the keyboard and started playing the intro. The two of them gave me a glare, as the intro almost reached its end. I had no choice but to cope.

I cleared my throat slightly, preparing to sing. Then, the intro ended. And my singing started.

“Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound…

Staring blankly ahead just making my way, making a way, through the crowd

And I need you, and I miss you, and now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky… do you think time… would pass me by…

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles… If I could just see you…

Tonight…”

As I sing the lyrics, I couldn’t help myself not to stare at Mirai, whose eyes never left me ever since she played the intro melody. She gave me a smile. I can see her eyes sparkle in joy, looking as beautiful as ever.

Do you ever have a song that you listen to at a certain period of time, and every single time that song is played later on, you would instantly remember the memories you have during that certain period of time with the people you cherish?

Well, this song is one of those songs for me and Mirai. It was back during the first time we’ve known each other in elementary school.

"It's always times like these when I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory"

I was the new boy in town. Ryu was the only person I knew in the neighborhood, before he introduced me to this curious little girl called Mirai. Ryu randomly invited the two of us to a nearby park and introduced us to each other. I wasn’t much of a social person so I didn’t really talk much during our first encounter. I remembered back then, I was so engulfed with western music. Once I get bored playing around, I sat at an empty park bench and began listening to songs through my ipod.

That was when that curious little girl sat next to me and asked me on what I was listening to. I wasn’t much of a talker, so I just handed her one side of my earphone. And that time, Vanessa Charlton’s A Thousand Miles was playing. 

I didn’t know how but that turns into a habit later on. Every time I sat on that bench to listen to songs on my own, Mirai would take the empty seat beside me, and I would automatically handed her one side of my earphone. Then we would listen to songs for the rest of the evening. Soon, I began anticipating her every time I went to that park, just to simply seat next to each other and listen to songs. Then, it progresses into a simple innocent conversation, as she began introducing me to songs she like, and we started exchanging song references later on.

I guess that was how we bonded.

And this is how we bonded that night.

"And I, I.... don't want to let you know
I, I.... drown in your memory
I, I.... don't want to let this go
I, I don't...."

That night, carefree singing along and playing music together with two of my closest people, recalling the childhood memory we use to have together, made me realize how precious it was to cherish every single second I spent with them.

Honestly speaking, I have been terrified upon having cancer ever since the first time the doctor gave his verdict. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and there’s this huge weight that’s stuck on my shoulder. But these little moment we spent together somehow lift those weight off of me. It was the first time I felt at ease with this cancer I have. And no matter what will happen, I will do my best to survive this. For the sake of those people I love. Because I need to see those happy smiles of them again.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t expect them to be there for me 24/7, of course. There are times where I had to be alone in the ward. They have another life too. School, activities, and more importantly, their own families too. Despite being busy they always spare some time just to accompany me here. Having that in mind, I also too had to do my best for the treatments so their efforts will not be in vain.

********

Earlier, I’ve mentioned to you about doctor Tomohisa. I was extremely lucky to be handled by him. I’ve mentioned to you about how good looking he is right? I bet Mirai thought so too. I could sense how she occasionally blush every time he’s around.

Well, anyway, he treated me like his own little brother. I guess because our age doesn’t differ that far. And that makes me feel extremely at ease. He’s like the older brother I never had.

He doesn’t make cancer seem scary at all. Several times, every time he checks on me, he would talk about his past osteosarcoma patient, and how they