No…Eunsook didn’t want Taemin to lose his ity. She was afraid it would lead to something bad.

“Promise me we will do it one day.”

“O…ok Taeminnie.”

Though Eunsook promised Taemin, she wondered how could she do that? How could she corrupt the love of her life? She just hoped that Taemin would forget their promise.

Again December came too soon for Eunsook. This time she felt happy as she had a boyfriend to celebrate Christmas with. Actually she wasn’t that happy. The past two weeks Taemin had acted strangely towards her. He was a bit cold and harsh to her lately. He had also stopped coming to her apartment.

Deciding to ask him the reason for his coldness, she texted him.

“Taeminnie, are you ok? do you have any problem? you seem too far to reach lately and cold to me. Waeyo?”

“Please noona… you were supposed to know that I have a problem 2 weeks ago and you asked about it now? What kind of a girlfriend are you?”

Eunsook’s heart felt so hurt to read his message.

“Sorry Taeminnie. I thought you needed space and time to think, that’s why I didn’t bother you. Do you mind sharing your problem with me?”

“How will you help me? My parents are about to divorce without thinking or asking about my opinion. Damn my parents.”

Taemin answered her text coldly. Eunsook was shocked to see him change from a nice and polite boy into a rude one.

“Trust me, they will not get divorced. You are their one and only son. Just be patient Taeminnie. Don’t let this affect your actions.”

Eunsook tried to give him support. But what he wrote next tore her heart even more.

“I don’t give a about anyone. Damn them. My life, my rules. If they accept it, fine. If they don’t they can just leave me or else I’ll crush their bodies.”

Eunsook didn’t know what to do. She wanted to tell someone about it, but who? She kept their relationship a secret from everyone, so whatever happened she could only take it by herself. She cried and prayed that Taemin would return to his old self. She also tried her best to support him no matter what.

Starting from January everything was different. Taemin changed even more drastically. He rarely called Eunsook. Neither did he come to her apartment. His texts to her were also very cold. She started to feel that their relationship was crumbling.

Early in February, Taemin texted her and confessed something that tore her heart apart.

“Noona, I need to make a confession to you. But before that I need to say sorry. It was because of the situation at that time.”

Eunsook’s tears started to form in her eyes.

“What is it Taeminnie?”

“This happened during new year eve. I … I made out with Sulli. Both of us got and pleased each other. But I can guarantee noona… we didn’t have .”

Eunsook dropped her phone after reading the text. She felt betrayed by Taemin. She had closed her heart and mind to every other man and was faithful to Taemin. But Taemin easily got intimate with another girl. Eunsook then decided to give Taemin what he really wanted all this time. . He was begging her last month to have with him, but Eunsook always declined his request. Now she felt that she needed to grant his wish.

“Taeminnie, please come to my apartment now. I have something for you.”

Taemin replied shortly.

“OK.”

Eunsook prepared herself. She put on her y lingerie and waited for Taemin. When he arrived, she opened the door and quickly pulled him inside. Locking the door, she turned to Taemin and kissed him passionately. Her hands explored his body. Without breaking the kiss, she ed his shirt and unbuckled his pants.

Taemin couldn’t resist her lustful attack on him and started to kiss, and her body like a beast. Soon moans and pants filled Eunsook’s apartment. They did it in every part of her apartment. After 4 rounds, they collapsed in bed and panted heavily.

“Noona, that was amazing,” Taemin gasped for breath. “Thank you for granting my wish.” He hugged her tight. Because Eunsook hid her face in his chest, she missed the evil smirk on his face.

Eunsook thought that after getting his wish Taemin would change back to his old self. She was wrong. He remained the same like he used to be since the beginning of the year. One day she opened his profile in facebook and her eyes widened in shocked. His status had changed from ‘married’ to ‘divorced’. That time, she really felt that her relationship was on the verge of breaking. But, she had no courage to ask Taemin about it.

In March everything began to completely fall apart. She opened his facebook profile again just to find something that broke her heart. His status was changed from ‘Divorced’ to ‘Engaged to Na Eun’. She cried in front of her laptop and decided to ask Taemin about it.

“Taeminnie who is Na Eun? Why you state that you are engaged to her?”

“Eum… this is to avoid girls who chase me noona.”

“Do you still love me? Lately you rarely text me or call me. Do you still want to keep our relationship?”

“Eumm… well I don’t know noona. Sorry noona, I’m busy right now. I promise I’ll text you later”

Later changed into a day. A day changed to a week. Eunsook opened his facebook again just to find his status changed one more time from ‘Enggaged to Na Eun’ to ‘Married to Na Eun’. She placed a call to Taemin.

“Taeminnie, why haven’t you texted me? And why is your status in facebook changed to married to Na Eun.”

Taemin answered coldly “How does that matter to you?”

Eunsook tried hard to fight her tears, “Of course it matters. I’m your girlfriend. Do you know how I feel when I see that?”

Taemin laughed at her, “Girlfriend? My girlfriend, noona? What makes you think that you’re still my girlfriend? I didn’t call or text you. It’s obvious that you are no longer my girlfriend.”

Eunsook’s tears flowed like river now. She sobbed hard, “I… why didn’t you say anything last week when I asked you about her?”

Taemin mockingly answer her “Noona, I took pity on you that time. I didn’t want you to feel hurt.”

“What does she have? Why did you choose her over me?”

“First, she is pretty. Second, she is slim. Do you know men can’t take their eyes off her when we go on a date in the mall? Third, she is smart. Last, my mom approves her as my girlfriend. While you noona, well you’re only good quality is that you are cute. You know you’re chubby. You’re someone who can’t help me to solve my problems or I can share my problems with. You can only say be patient all the time. Ah, I forgot to tell you, since my mom met you in the mall that day, she told me that she hates you. She said you are neither polite nor any match for me.”

Eunsook’s heart shattered into thousand pieces after hearing his answer. ”Taeminnie, you don’t even tell me honestly about your problems. I can’t give you any suggestion on what to do that’s why I can only tell you to be patient. You said you’re dating with her in the mall? So it means you and her…how long has it been?”

“Before we had . Thanks to you noona, now I can have pleasure with her without being afraid about my ity. Relax noona, our experience will remain a secret with me. Bye!” Taemin coldly hung the phone without waiting for her response.

Eunsook screamed and cried hard. She felt so stupid. She really loved him wholeheartedly. She was supposed to be able to read the signs before. Her heart even told her so, but she kept denying it and calmed herself that everything was ok.  With trembling hands she dialed his number again.

“What do you want now Eunsook? Don’t you know that I’m busy?” Taemin shouted at her.

“I … I still love you Taeminnie. I …”

Before Eunsook finished her words Taemin cut her short and shouted, “I have fallen OUT of love with you Eunsook-ssi. So please keep your stupid I Love You to yourself. It’s disgusting to hear it.”

Eunsook bit her lips hard till they started bleeding, “Lee Taemin-ssi, right,” Eunsook sobbed, “Right now I declare that I regret everything that ever happened between us. Since the very beginning we met, up till now. I hope you’ll be happy.” She could barely manage to speak between her choked sobs. Eunsook hung the phone. She took her bag and went to a nearby bar. She drank to make her pain fade away.

For the next 3 months till the graduation ceremony, Eunsook avoided Taemin. Her heart hurt so much and every time she saw Taemin she felt angry. Later in June she resigned from the school and erased all contacts with Taemin.

Today

Four years later, Eunsook still could feel her heart pain when she remembered Taemin. Yes, she was a fool that time, a mature woman who was fooled by a teenager. She even lost her desire to find love.

After the depressing walk down the memory lane, Eunsook sighed. She took a shower and standing under the cleansing shower she had the epiphany of her life.

Eunsook realized that by closing her heart and mind to love, she had let Taemin color her future bland forever. She decided that to hold herself back from enjoying her life was similar to giving Taemin all-consuming power over her life. She made up her mind to be happy and open herself to all that life had to offer her.

She called her best friend Minho to accompany her to the theatre. Before she left she told herself, “This is the last time I remember you Taemin. I erase all memories with you and the idiot me that time. I’ll not say see you again. But instead Taemin, Goodbye to you forever!”

~fin~