Hopeless Love by Park Jimin(15&)

How can you smile so beautifully?
When I look at you, my time stops
How am I in this kind of love?

It's been seven years that Hannie and Jaejoong have been friends and close. No secrets were kept from them because they were just that close. There was said to be no secrets, but Hannie had one that she couldn't tell anyone, not even Jaejoong. What was that secret? ohh it was nothing but a cliche secret. Hannie was in love with Jaejoong for 4 years now. 

Everything was fine until just last year, They had met Minah. She was the opposite of Hannie; Minah was skinner, prettier, smarter, had wide doe eyes and more feminine, while Hannie was a little thicker, chubbier and more tomboyish. Minah was a transfer student who happen to be in the same class as Jaejoong and Hannie. The three of them became friends easily as they all had the same interest. 

It's been a year now that the three of them have been friends.These past few days, Minah and Jaejoong has been acting weird. They have been smiling and laughing with each other more.

The words you say, the body movements when you talk
It knocks on my heart endlessly
But I am tightly shutting the door

"Hannie-ah.. let's meet at my place afterschool yeah?" asked Jaejoong, looking at Hannie with hopeful eyes while Minah was standing next to him.

"But I have to stay for cleaning, I don't think I'll be able to make it oppa" Hannie gave a soft smile and took a glance at Minah.

"Come on Unnie... I want you to be there. It'll be fun.. It's to celebrate our friendship for one year!" Minah said with excitement beaming in her wide doe eyes and pearly white teeth showing.

Hannie sighed and looked at the two, "Someone would have to cover for me though."

"I already had that covered! Yunho is taking over your spot since he owes me a favor. Now come on and let's go!" Jaejoong smiled at Hannie. 

In your eyes that look at me, there aren’t any feelings that are like mine
It’s such a sad thing to know your heart

Truthfully, Hannie already knew what was happening today. Today was the day that he was going to confess. He was going to confess to Minah. The girl that transferred to their school a year ago. 

I know there’s no hope, so every time I look at you
It’s so hard, because I love you so much
It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend
I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross
It hurts but why can’t I turn away?
This hopeless love

Once Jaejoong had told Hannie that, she knew that she was nothing but a close friend who he grew up with. To Hannie, it felt like someone had punched her in the gut, pulled out her heart, and threw it down a deep well. 

As soon as the three had reached Jaejoong's apartment, they went to the roof. At the rooftop, were buckets of soap to play with. Bubbles were flowing everywhere. As time went by, it was getting darker and they were just leaning against the railing at the rooftop, enjoying the sun setting. 

"I have a gift for you guys." Jaejoong said as he took out three evenly cut ribbon from his pockets. He tied them around each other wrist and smiled. "This is to us three. To show that we will always be friends no matter what." He smiled and looked at Minah. 

Just a little bit more, I’ll just look at you a little more
Then I can put away my feelings
That’s what I believed, that’s why I’m doing this
But my feelings are getting bigger and deeper
My heart won’t listen, it won’t get better

Hannie looked down at the tied ribbon on her wrist and gave a soft sad smile.. Hers was the only one tied on her left arm, while Jaejoong and Minah's ribbon were tied on their right.

"hey! let's go down and play with those toy machine. I bet I can get one." Jaejoong smiled and pulled Minah's hands as they went down, leaving Hannie running behind them.

In your eyes that look at me, there aren’t any feelings that are like mine
It’s such a sad thing to know your heart

As Hannie got to the machine, Jaejoong and Minah were hovering over the from glass and debating on which one to get. Hannie then joined and debated with them. Jaejoong took a glance at Hannie and smiled at her with one of those smiles that Hannie loved.

 After a couple of minutes of playing, Jaejoong finally got a pikachu doll. They all cheered in happiness as Jaejoong took out the pikachu doll. Hannie smiled and slowly backed away as Jaejoong handed the doll to Minah with a bright smile. She was hurt, never in their 8 years of knowing each other, Jaejoong had never gave her a doll before. He always thought that she wasn't into those stuff.

I know there’s no hope, so every time I look at you
It’s so hard, because I love you so much
It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend
I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross
It hurts but why can’t I turn away?
This hopeless love

They decided to go back to Jaejoong's place. Minah and Jaejoong were talking and walking infront while Hannie was walking behind them and just staring at Jaejoong's back with a sad smile. 

Inside, Hannie felt like dying. She knew it was a bad choice to come along with them, but she couldn't help it. She had love him for 4 years now, eventhough she knew that there was a line that she could never cross because they were nothing but friends. It was nothing but a hopeless love. 

Before Hannie knew it, she was walking up the last couple of steps of stairs to Jaejoong's apartment, as she turned, she saw Jaejoong and Minah backs against the railing and close to one another talking animately with smiles. Hannie saw the way that Jaejoong was looking at Minah. It was the type of eyes she wished that Jaejoong would look at her with. 

Lonely, my heart that looks at you
This hopeless love
Is so painful

Hannie knew that she had to keep her distance, so she stayed near the stairs and turn to look the opposite way from Jaejoong and Minah. She looked down at her left wrist and fiddled with the ribbon and thought, 'was it worth it?' 'can i ever let him go?'

Everything was just so painful to her. Falling in love with him for 4 full on years and being seen as nothing but a close friend was just too painful. She had to make a let go because she knew if she didn't then she would get hurt more and more.

Lonely, my heart that looks at you
This hopeless love
Is so painful

Hannie turned to look at Jaejoong and Minah. There she saw that Jaejoong was facing towards her while Minah's back was was facing against her. She knew that he was going to confess right then and there, so to prevent her from getting hurt even more from this hopeless love, she smiled at Jaejoong and gave a small wave, letting him know that she was leaving.

I know there’s no hope, so every time I look at you
It’s so hard, because I love you so much
It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend

She turned without letting Jaejoong answer her and walked down the stairs as fast as she can while tears were trailing down her cheeks. Hannie bit her lips to hold back the sob from coming out. This love was and has been hopeless. She knew it but thought she should just give it a try. Hannie knew that she had choosed the wrong choice and this was what she deserved. 

As Hannie was walking home, she untied the ribbon from her wrist and held onto the ends. She looked at the ribbon and blinked her tears away. She was going to have to let him go. 

I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross
It hurts but why can’t I turn away?
This hopeless love

"Goodbye my Hopeless Love. I Love You." She sobbed out as she let go of the ribbon and watched as the wind carried the ribbon away from her, just like her one-sided love was being taken away. 

"Why did you let that go? Did I mean nothing?" A voice said behind her.