“So, you’re telling me he’s abnormal?” Sehun says incredulously, purposefully eyeing the little male just a few centimetres away from them back to his friend like he grew two heads. Jongin sighs. He knew he’ll have a hard time telling all this stuff to his of a friend here but he took risks because eff! He really can’t just hide this all by himself. He needs someone to talk to about this. It’s not that he’s having a hard time taking care of this little man here who is now enjoying himself playing with the butterflies. It’s just that he needs help how to handle stuffs like him. He seriously convinced himself that the man he’s living with right now is not like them – he’s not human, he thinks, in simple words.

“No!” Jongin runs his hand through his hair, seeming a bit frustrated. Sehun just looked at him. “He’s more of a… special… kid.”

“So…” Sehun says, pausing a bit to look at the man again before looking back at his tall friend. “Abnormal,” He continues, nodding a little bit in understanding.

Jongin almost screamed at him because why the hell can’t he understand that Kyungsoo is not abnormal!? He’s just… innocent. Too innocent for Jongin’s liking. Instead of screaming, he sighed exasperatedly, slumping on the chair provided in his garden.

“Since when did he live here?” Sehun asks. He’s been there for like two hours ago and he still really can’t decode what Jongin is saying. He’d been told by his friend earlier that he saw the boy walking on the streets a week ago, and when he tried to approach him, the boy looked him with wide, glassy eyes and he just started following Jongin everywhere. When he asked why the boy did so, the boy said that he was lost and he couldn’t find his way home. It seemed ridiculous, like life’s playing a game with Jongin right now.

“Just a week ago. I told you that. Have you been listening?” Jongin replied, rolling his eyes. Sehun watched as the smaller male roamed around the garden, all the while talking with the flowers to which Sehun find endearing. Suddenly, he erupted into a fit of laughter.

“What?” Jongin looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

Sehun tried to swallow his chuckles before answering. “This must be your punishment.” He laughed, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. “A god, drug-addict, heavy smoker, not entirely a money saver. Hah. This must be a punishment from heaven.”

Jongin looked at him. “Hey! You’re no better than me!”

“I stopped, okay? I already stopped because Luhan told me so.” He rolled his eyes. “Look what the heavens gave you, dude. It’s an innocent little penguin – the complete opposite of what you are right now.”

Jongin stopped to think a little bit. Kyungsoo had been a little bit comfortable around him despite the fact that he’d been just living with Jongin for a week. He started calling Jongin as ‘Jonginnie ssi’ with his cute, little voice and he’s been all over the house doing house works. Jongin didn’t want to admit it but Kyungsoo was somehow useful and okay to keep around.

“Jonginnie ssi!” The boy suddenly shouted, looking at Jongin’s direction. He was full of joy and Jongin can’t help smiling at him as he looked his way. “Look! The butterflies love me!” He says cheerfully and Jongin can notice the group of butterflies flying all over Kyungsoo’s head. He just had to admit that it was adorable.

Sehun suddenly clapped his hands once, bringing Jongin back from his trance. Sehun smirked at him before standing up, wiping his mouth with the napkin provided to them earlier. “Well, I should get going now. Luhan’s waiting for me. You’re on your own, kay?” Sehun laughed a bit, but he wasn’t that far from Jongin when he mentioned ‘Jonginnie ssi’ like he was mocking the nickname, all the while shaking his head in disbelief. Jongin rolled his eyes and ignored his friend, going towards Kyungsoo to play with him.

~~

Jongin was out buying a pack of cigarettes when he noticed a boy, a lost boy, walking down the streets. He was wearing a white sweater, a maroon cap worn backward, black fitted pants and a pair of white sneakers. He was fiddling with his fingers while walking, eyes scanning the place and mouth forming an ‘o’ shape like it was his first time seeing buildings. Weird, Jongin thought. He walked towards the boy and he didn’t expect him to cower a little bit. He backed away a little, looking at Jongin with wide, glossy eyes. Oh god he’s going to cry, Jongin inwardly panicked.

“I… I d-didn’t mean to… um, scare you.” Jongin struggled with his words ‘cause he doesn’t know how to prevent the boy from tearing up. The boy looked at Jongin for a minute and eventually, much to Jongin’s relief, smiled. Jongin noticed how his lips formed a heart shape when smiling.

“I’m sorry,” He said, looking down. “I’m just lost.”

“Oh, so you’re not from here?”

“I am.”

Jongin raised his eyebrow at his answer. He lives here but he’s new here? He can’t seem to understand the boy. He decided to just leave him there because he might be a member of an assassination team. When he started walking away from the boy, he felt a pair of footsteps following him and when he opted to turn around, the boy was there, following him with wide eyes. Jongin tried to shoo him but the boy kept following – like he didn’t understand what Jongin is saying. When Jongin was finally fed up, he faced the boy with irritation flowing through his system.

“Why the hell are you following me!?” He shouted, sending the boy in complete shock. His eyes widened more, if that was even possible, and gradually his eyes started watering again. Jongin started panicking again because there were more people on this street than the one where he saw the boy earlier and he didn’t want them thinking that he’s the culprit behind the small commotion. He groaned in frustration, tossing the bag of cigarettes aside before placing his hands on top of the boy’s shoulders.

“Don’t cry.” Jongin managed to say, a little too gentle than what he expected. He really doesn’t know what to do because he hasn’t seen such a vulnerable person before. He grew up in a community where everyone, as Jongin would describe, is a warrior.

“I’m just lost and I don’t know how to find my way home.” The boy explained, rubbing his eyes as if he’s willing the tears away. Jongin found it cute but he wouldn’t admit it. Not in a million years.

Jongin didn’t know where he inherited this attitude where he just helps people. He said that it’s just out of habit but seriously, he even brought a stray dog home because it was freezing outside and kept it until today. It was okay – at least he convinced himself that it was okay – because he’s living alone after having his parents die in a plane crash. He knew he’d curse himself if he does this but to hell with it.

“You can stay with me. I’ll help you find your parents.”

He figures he’ll curse himself some other time, thinking that it was the brilliant decision ever made when he saw the adorable smile creeping on the smaller boy’s face.

~~

For the past few weeks, Jongin never encountered trouble with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was quiet and calm. Just by looking at the boy will make you smile. He looked so delicate that you’ll want to hold him and protect him. Kyungsoo also helped with the house chores so Jongin had no problem with him.

Jongin was in the garden when Kyungsoo joined him. He was in the middle of smoking when Kyungsoo came and then there comes those inquisitive eyes again.

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo asks, pointing at the already half stick on Jongin’s mouth. Kyungsoo was even amazed when he saw a red flame coming from the of the stick.

“This is nothing.” Jongin said, shrugging Kyungsoo’s question off. He didn’t want the innocent boy to have ideas about those kinds of stuffs. He blew the smoke out, which amazed Kyungsoo even more. He tried to touch the smoke only to realize that it can’t be touched. He chuckled when Jongin blew another puff of smoke, and when Kyungsoo tried to inhale it, he suddenly coughed which made Jongin’s eyes grew wide.

“Ya! You can’t inhale that!” He chastised, but Kyungsoo just chuckled.

“It’s weird.” Kyungsoo said as an afterthought. “Can Kyungsoo try?” He added, jumping a little bit because of excitement.

Jongin looked at him and faced the other side, away from Kyungsoo. “No. It’s bad for your health.”

Kyungsoo pouted, albeit Jongin not witnessing it. “If it’s bad then why is Jonginnie ssi doing it?”

Jongin looked at him. “Because I’m already old. I’m already eighteen and I’m already legal.”

Kyungsoo nodded in understanding and Jongin thought that was the end of conversation but what Kyungsoo said next caught him completely off guard. “But I’m nineteen. I’m also legal, right?”

Jongin looked at him with wide eyes and he dropped his cigarette. The eff he’s older than me!? The whole time he thought Kyungsoo was five years younger than him only to find out that he was a year older. Damn, my whole life was a lie.

Jongin decided to stop smoking from that day on because everytime Kyungsoo sees him smoking, he’d ask Jongin to let him try and Jongin really wouldn’t let him despite him being older. He doesn’t want to taint the boy’s pure soul. At first it was difficult that he had to go out to a park to smoke but after a week of not smoking, he grew accustomed to it that even Sehun was surprised.

Kyungsoo was inside Jongin’s room, deciding that he’s going to clean the latter’s room after seeing the state of it. He even grimaced when he saw it and thought that a little makeover wouldn’t hurt. Jongin didn’t mind anyway because he’s too lazy to clean his own room and having someone to tidy it up for him is an opportunity from the skies above. However, he regretted having his room clean by an innocent penguin later because the boy started finding things that he should never even find.

“Jonginnie ssi!” He called and Jongin trudged to his room from the living room. “What’s this? I found these things under your bed.”

Jongin looked up in horror, immediately retrieving those ‘things’ from Kyungsoo. He cursed himself hard because how the hell could he leave his materials underneath his bed!? Kyungsoo had this inquisitive eyes again as he watched the things Jongin was holding right now.

“I-It’s n-nothing. G-Go back to cl-cleaning.” He stuttered, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. He kept the box of inside his pocket and reminded himself to throw it later. He sighed in relief when Kyungsoo shrugged and continued cleaning but it wasn’t long after he hauled a big box and Jongin was sure he could die from embarrassment right then and there. He never knew he’d wish the ground to open up and just eat him alive.

“Omo! Look. It’s your toys!” Kyungsoo said innocently excited, grabbing one ‘toy’ from the box and waving it in front of Jongin. “This is weird. What’s this? This looks like a mini baseball bat.” He says, swaying it back and forth like he’s hitting a ball. Jongin looked at it in dreadfulness. He wanted to hit himself over and over again until he’s battered and too weak to get up. He looked at the box behind Kyungsoo and was actually surprised because how in the world did he own so many toys!? He grabbed the Kyungsoo was holding and placed it back in the box but Kyungsoo was too enthusiastic to see more of Jongin’s toys that he rummaged inside the box.

“Jonginnie ssi. Did you dream of being a cop?” Kyungsoo asked, holding out a pair of handcuffs. Later on, he grabbed a rope from the box and asked Jongin if he like playing skipping rope and started hopping with it. Jongin drowned in his own embarrassment that he can’t even stop Kyungsoo from what he’s doing. However, when Kyungsoo started retrieving a bottle inside the box and squirted some of it on his hands, that’s when Jongin went back to his senses to stop Kyungsoo from exploring his toys.

“It’s cold.” He giggled, looking at the liquid closely. He poked it with his free hand and giggled again when he felt the cold liquid on his finger. He started spreading the liquid all over his hands, thinking that it was some sort of a hand sanitizer. When Kyungsoo innocuously rubbed the liquid on his finger, Jongin should never find the situation suggestive but eff if he knew Kyungsoo wasn’t such a small baby he’d knew that he was teasing right now. He unconsciously his lips and walked towards Kyungsoo, placing his hands on top of his shoulders. Kyungsoo looked up at him and giggled because he really enjoyed himself playing with the lubricant. He was leaning down and Kyungsoo was too innocent to realize what he’s doing but when Kyungsoo unintentionally poked Jongin on his cheek, Jongin went back to reality and stepped away from Kyungsoo, grabbing all of his materials and telling Kyungsoo to proceed cleaning his room.

After he closed the door behind him, he sighed heavily. He looked at the contents of the box he was holding and inwardly chastised himself for it. He went downstairs and wrapped the box in a big, black bag and threw it away.

He sighed in contentment as he went back inside his house. He just got rid of the things that almost ruined his life.

~~

A week after the whole fiasco, Jongin seemed to move on from his embarrassment and was now standing in the kitchen, watching as Kyungsoo baked cookies. They agreed to watch a movie that night (to which Kyungsoo was so enthusiastic) and Kyungsoo promised to bake cookies to eat. Jongin didn’t have his own cookie cutter so Kyungsoo had to manually cut the cookies in different shapes with a knife. He even made a penguin shaped cookie.

They settled in the sofa after the cookies were baked and silently watched as the movie started playing. Kyungsoo was simply amazed at the graphics shown in the screen. He gaped at all the equipment like it was his first time seeing it. Jongin found it weird, but cute. Jongin knew Kyungsoo wouldn’t like watching action movies so he opted for horror movies. He actually didn’t have a choice ‘cause he doesn’t own those chick flick movies or whatever you call them. Jongin was silently watching, munching on the cookies Kyungsoo made while the latter was the total opposite. He screamed, shouted, shuddered, and all those typical reactions you’d get from a person watching a horror film. But Jongin seriously regretted playing the film because Kyungsoo started crying. He’s scared, Jongin thought. Kyungsoo was covering his eyes, tears streaming down from it and his whole body was shaking. He didn’t even get to finish his cookie because he was too scared to even eat it. Jongin turned off the movie and immediately aided Kyungsoo. He didn’t know what to do but in the end he opted for placing his arm around Kyungsoo, patting him gently on the back. But Kyungsoo wouldn’t stop crying.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin apologized in a soft voice, which Kyungsoo found soothing. “I’m sorry I played that kind of movie. I don’t have any other movies and I didn’t think you’d be like this. I’m sorry.” He explained. Kyungsoo didn’t say anything but he nodded, indicating that he understood.

“Come on. You should sleep.” Jongin said and helped Kyungsoo going into his room. He had two guest rooms and he let Kyungsoo use the one opposite to his own room when he took him in. Actually, Jongin had been asking Sehun for help to look for the boy’s parents and still they got nothing. Jongin didn’t ask the boy’s surname and it’s rather because he’s too shy to ask or he just didn’t want to ask. He thinks it’s the latter, although he doesn’t why he wouldn’t want to ask Kyungsoo. He grew comfortable around the other that he would panic when he doesn’t see Kyungsoo inside the house. He feels it’s too empty without Kyungsoo. He didn’t want to ask the other boy’s surname because he’s afraid that if ever he has his full name, it would be easier to find him and he’ll be gone in just a snap.

Jongin shrugs the idea away as he settles on his own bed after sending Kyungsoo in his own room. He sounds in love and he convinces himself that he isn’t. He’s not. I’m not in love, he thinks, looking at his ceiling. Why is he even afraid to lose Kyungsoo? He just grew comfortable with him. It’s not like he’s going to die if Kyungsoo’s not there, right?

Right?

He sighs and convinces himself again that he’s not in love with Kyungsoo and he’ll be able to live without him. I lived for eighteen years without him. I can live for eighteen more years. He comes with a decision that he’s going to ask him tomorrow. There’s nothing to be afraid of. After this, this whole letting-a-little-penguin-live-in-his-house thing will be over.

His thoughts were interrupted with a knock on his door. The smaller man came in rubbing his eyes, face troubled and Jongin could see the tears in his eyes. He ran towards Jongin’s bed, stopping just on the side, sobbing a little. Jongin sat up and asked Kyungsoo what’s wrong. He’s starting to worry him.

“I’m scared, Jonginnie ssi. Kyungsoo is scared.” He said, continuously rubbing his eyes.

Jongin would’ve found Kyungsoo cute and adorable if it wasn’t for the situation they’re currently in. He felt guilty because he absolutely knew it was his entire fault. It he hadn’t played that stupid horror film then Kyungsoo would have been sleeping soundly by now.

“Why are you scared?” It was probably the dumbest question of the century because come on! It’s obvious why the boy was afraid. But it’s just that… he didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Kyungsoo continued sobbing lightly. “What if the woman with the long hair will come and get me? She has a horrible face and I’m all alone in my room! She could come in anytime and get me!”

Jongin really was still contemplating whether the male in front of him is faking his age or not. He obviously possesses the mentality of a four year old child. Jongin found it adoring, actually, but he was seriously curious as to why Kyungsoo owns this kind of attitude. He really hates childish people, but every rule has an exception, right?

Kyungsoo was still standing there, rubbing his eyes with Jongin gaping at him. He thought of a solution, the one and only solution he’d come up, but he was hesitant because what if Kyungsoo would decline? When he heard Kyungsoo sniff, he decided to throw all of his thoughts down the window.

He stood up in front of Kyungsoo, carefully removing the latter’s boy’s hands away from his eyes. He realized he’d been rubbing his eyes too much because now they’re becoming red. He slowly placed Kyungsoo’s hands down and wrapped his arms around him. Jongin patted his back gently and much to his relief, Kyungsoo’s sobs died down. He smiled when he felt the boy leaning into his touch.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” There comes the question he thought Kyungsoo would decline. He really thought Kyungsoo would deny though, but he smiled after hearing the petite boy’s response.

“I can?” He said, his voice muffled by Jongin’s shirt.

Jongin backed away a bit to look at the boy in his arms, smiling down sweetly on him before muttering ‘of course’ as his reply and they both slipped into bed. Kyungsoo was already closing his eyes. Jongin hoisted himself up by his arm, elbow resting on his pillow and his head resting on his palm. He gave Kyungsoo tiny and gentle pats on his leg and it wasn’t long before the boy dozed off. Jongin faced the other side of the bed, away from Kyungsoo, when he decided to sleep. Just a few minutes after, he felt the slight shuffling of the bed beside him and a pair of arms circled around his waist. He froze and looked at the pair of arms around his body. Jongin looked over his shoulder and viewed the peaceful face of his penguin – I mean THE penguin. Jongin was so tempted to cuddle the boy but he didn’t want him to freak out by the time he wakes up. After a good three minutes of contemplating, he decided to hell with it. He rolled over, facing the smaller male and gathered him in his arms. He placed a soft kiss on his forehead before he drifted off to sleep. He’s just going to tell Kyungsoo a lame excuse tomorrow.

~~

By the time the second month rolled, Jongin started to regret his lifestyle choices.

Kyungsoo was in the bathroom, washing his face when he remembered he didn’t bring any towels with him. He guessed that there would be spare towels around the room so he rummaged through all of the bathroom’s cabinets. When he came to check on the cabinet below the sink, he came across a small brown box. Forgetting the main reason why he rummaged through all of the cabinets, he opened the box, witnessing a few packs of white powders, some pills and a couple of syringes. He tilted his head to the side, wondering what these things are for. He settled the box down on the sink, grabbing one pack of the white powders he saw inside. He opened the pack and much to his delight, it smelled like candy. He jumped a bit in excitement before inhaling some more of it, enjoying the scent it radiated.

It wasn’t long before Jongin trudged to the bathroom, intending to use it because he really needs to pee, seeing Kyungsoo holding a pack of heroin. His eyes grew wide, wider than Kyungsoo’s, and immediately snatched the drug from the innocent boy’s hand.

“Jonginnie ssi!” He chuckled, eyes forming into small crescents. “It smells good! Like candy! You should try it.” He said, a little too enthusiastic for Jongin’s liking. He felt his insides boil, immediately regretting the day he started using drugs.

“WHAT THE , KYUNGSOO!?” He yelled, the sound reverberating throughout the whole room. Kyungsoo was frozen, seemingly shocked because of Jongin’s sudden attitude. Jongin immediately grabbed the box, throwing it into the trashcan beside the door. “Do you know how dangerous this is
!? These are drugs, Kyungsoo! The ! You shouldn’t go around trying stuffs just because you’re curious about them! No matter how innocent you are, think first! THINK!” He growled. He was breathless by the time he ended his speech, but he immediately regretted it when he saw the tears building from Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“I-I… I didn’t… I didn’t… know…” He stumbled for words, looking up at Jongin with tears already streaming down from his eyes.

Of course you don’t know, Jongin thought. He sighed, his angry aura earlier disappearing and substituted into an apologetic one. Crying Kyungsoo is really his kryptonite.

He stepped forward and gathered Kyungsoo in his arms. He ran soothing circles along his back, but that wasn’t entirely effective to make Kyungsoo stop from crying.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo said, his voice muffled by Jongin’s shirt.

Jongin sighed. “No. I’m sorry. Jonginnie is sorry because he yelled at Kyungsoo.” He planted a chaste kiss on top of the boy’s head and Kyungsoo started to relax a bit. He really can’t blame Kyungsoo because he’s just an innocent boy, trying to explore the wonders of the world, although he didn’t know why Kyungsoo is this innocent.

When they settled into the sofa, Jongin decided that he would ask. He has to.

“Kyungsoo, what’s your full name?”

Kyungsoo looks up from the throw pillow he was holding. “Do Kyungsoo.”

Jongin nods. “Where do you live?”

“I don’t know where I live. Kyungsoo doesn’t even know how to go back.” He replies, brows furrowing.

Jongin decided to let the weird answer slip. “What happened? I mean, to you? You look like a newborn baby, eager to see the world.”

Kyungsoo stopped poking the pillow at Jongin’s statement. He looked at Jongin for a bit before going back to what he was doing before. “I was locked up for nineteen years.”

Jongin was alarmed at that. “Why?”

“Because Kyungsoo is an illegitimate child, like daddy said. Mommy said that Kyungsoo has a different daddy and mommy said that my real daddy was dead. My step daddy said that he didn’t want me going out because he didn’t want the people to see me. Daddy said that Kyungsoo is a disgrace to the family.” Kyungsoo started tearing up at that. “I didn’t know what disgrace means, not until my step brother said it. Step brother said that I’m embarrassing, that I’m not worthy to see the world. I was locked up in the attic, but Kyungsoo was thankful because they still gave me food to eat. They only let me out when I need to do things for hygienic reasons.” He sniffed. “I educated myself using the books that I saw in the attic. I even learned how to bake cookies!” He said, feigning enthusiasm, rubbing his eyes to wipe his tears.

Jongin was speechless. He had no clue about what Kyungsoo had been through. He felt anger towards Kyungsoo’s family. How could he lock him in the attic for nineteen years!? So this explains why Kyungsoo was so eager about stuffs. Jongin wanted to slap his family members one by one.

“What about your mommy?”

“Daddy never lets mommy come near me. Everytime mommy sneaks to teach me, daddy would hit him with a stick. I cried, because mommy was also crying.”

Kyungsoo started sobbing again, probably because of the bad memories creeping inside his head. Jongin wrapped him in his arms, trying to calm him down by reassuring him that everything’s going to be okay. They just stayed like that for a few minutes, none of them talking, and the only sound that can be heard was their steady breathing.

“How did you get out?” Jongin asked after a few moments of silence. Kyungsoo’s cries died down a bit.

“Mommy let me out. We were supposed to run away. But when mommy and I were walking, there were so many people and Kyungsoo suddenly lost mommy. I think mommy is looking for me right now.”

Jongin smiled, knowing that Kyungsoo still has someone despite his step family’s ruthlessness. But, he shudders at the idea of Kyungsoo’s mother looking for him because that would mean Kyungsoo won’t be with him again, if ever she finds him.

Yes, he might as well admit that he didn’t like the idea of not being with Kyungsoo.

He grew closer to the older male, having lived with him for two months surely made a difference. He admits Sehun was right, though, about Kyungsoo being a gift from the heavens. No, Kyungsoo wasn’t a punishment for him but rather, he was a reward – maybe an advance reward for changing. He needed change. Change from his old, messy lifestyle. He couldn’t even believe that within two months, he was able to get rid of his addictions. And it’s all because of the boy he’s holding right now.

~~

“I found little penguin’s mom.” Sehun said when he came over to Jongin’s house a week later. Jongin told him Kyungsoo’s background – save for the personal stories – and he came a week later after reporting to the police about the missing boy. Jongin was somehow saddened, though, and his heart immediately sank after hearing Sehun’s news.

“That’s great then.” He said, feigning happiness and he even surprised himself about how his words came out firm.

Jongin didn’t know what to do.

~~

What is love?

This question suddenly popped inside Kyungsoo’s mind. He really didn’t know. His mommy told him she loved him for like a million times before, but his heart didn’t flutter like it did right now. Whenever he’s spending time with Jongin, he feels happy and contented. He likes Jongin’s smile. He likes how Jongin’s hugs felt. He wants to make Jongin’s arms as his home where he can run to anytime. He finds Jongin perfect. He panicked the first time he felt his heart flutter, and that was when Jongin hugged him for the first time. He stopped thinking about it though, telling himself that it was nothing.

“Kyungsoo, what if your mommy finds you?” Jongin asks suddenly. Both of them are seated on the sofa, watching a chick flick movie Jongin just bought a few days ago. Kyungsoo looks up to Jongin from the popcorn he was holding.

“That would be great!” He said cheerfully, seemingly excited about the thought of reuniting with his mother. Jongin faked a smile. He still wasn’t really prepared of Kyungsoo leaving him. Just the mere thought of it gives him nightmares.

“Won’t you miss me?” It was supposed to be a joke, but Jongin decides to let reality speak when Kyungsoo looked at him with eyes that, to him, seemed to reflect his own emotions.

“O-Of course, I w-will,” He said inaudibly but luckily Jongin was able to catch that. Kyungsoo felt his cheeks flare up and there’s this familiar feeling in his chest again. They stared into each other’s eyes, forgetting the popcorn and the movie. Their feelings felt too overwhelming.

Jongin ran a hand on the side of Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, which Jongin found beautiful. “Don’t go, please.”

Kyungsoo opened his eyes to meet Jongin’s sad ones. “I can’t… I can’t promise that, Jonginnie ssi. Kyungsoo can’t promise.”

Jongin’s now cupping the side of Kyungsoo’s face, rubbing circles around Kyungsoo’s cheeks. “Why can’t Kyungsoo promise? Don’t leave Jonginnie please.”

Kyungsoo started tearing up because god, he’s new to all of these. He’s sad, so sad that his heart might drown in it. Jongin fully cupped Kyungsoo’s cheeks, wiping the tears with his thumb. He leaned down, kissing both sides of Kyungsoo’s face, just beneath his eyes. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, trying to feel Jongin’s kisses. His heart raced, and he realizes that he could get addicted to Jongin’s kisses. Jongin then proceeded to kiss his nose, then the both sides of his mouth, stopping on the center. Kyungsoo could feel Jongin’s breath on hovering over his mouth. Kyungsoo waited and it was definitely worth the wait when he felt Jongin’s soft, plump lips against his own. He was new to these stuffs, so he let Jongin take the lead but it wasn’t long after he started to experiment, moving his lips against Jongin. Jongin’s heart fluttered at that.

Kyungsoo was the one to pull away first, trying to regain his breathing. It was magical, as he would describe. He never knew a kiss would feel like that. After reading so many fairytale books stored in the attic, he never really had the chance to experience what it would feel like to fall in love. But after today, he realized it was more than an experience.

However, Jongin curses himself inwardly. What the hell am I doing? He just found another reason to not let Kyungsoo go. He needs to let him go. He doesn’t own him. He’s too innocent for him. He’s… too good for him. He sighs, backing away from Kyungsoo a bit, much to the older’s dismay, and ran his hands through his hair. It’s bad, he thinks, because he’s already attached to the boy. Jongin never feels attached to one person. He only had flings before, and he never felt something like this. He even had numerous of ual activities with them but he never really felt something like what he is feeling now.

He stands up, running his hand through his hair again before turning off the movie. “Go to bed.” He ordered which made Kyungsoo bewildered. Kyungsoo tried to think what made the younger upset, but he was too clueless to think of possibilities. Both went to their respective rooms that night, Jongin thinking what he should do with his feelings and Kyungsoo thinking what he did wrong.

~~

“Oh my! My baby!” Yelled by a woman, immediately running to the little penguin who’s currently talking to the flowers.

Kyungsoo looked up to see his mother, all signs of worriedness and happiness evident on her face, with Sehun trailing from behind. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. His lips immediately broke into a heart-shaped smile after seeing his mother and sent her mommy in a bone-crushing hug. They started tearing up, tightening the hug as if they’re making up for the two months they’ve been far from each other.

“Mommy…” Kyungsoo muttered, his face buried in the crook of her mommy’s neck. His mommy just smiled, rubbing the back of Kyungsoo’s head to calm him down.

When they both actually calmed down, the four of them – including Jongin and Sehun – settled themselves in the table provided in the garden. Mrs. Do was holding his son’s hand, as if she was afraid Kyungsoo might drift away from her again. Jongin could see the smile ghosting from Kyungsoo’s lips after reuniting with his mommy. He’s so happy.

“Thank you for taking care of my son. I owe you this, Jongin ssi.” Mrs. Do smiled. Jongin bowed, offering her a smile that seemed fake. Weird, ‘cause they both call him like that. Although Kyungsoo calls his name a bit cuter.

Mrs. Do turned to look at her son, smiling. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“Now?” Kyungsoo seemed a bit hesitant, sending Jongin a look. For Jongin, it looked like Kyungsoo didn’t want to go. Sehun glanced at the both of them, sighing when Jongin didn’t give any response.

“Yes. Don’t you want to go home? Don’t worry. We’re not going back to your step daddy.” If Kyungsoo wasn’t so sad right now, he would have rejoiced that he’ll never go back to that house.

Mrs. Do decided to leave with his son afterwards, thanking Jongin and Sehun a million times. Kyungsoo and Jongin’s mood were down, but only Mrs. Do didn’t notice it. Kyungsoo kept sending Jongin looks and Jongin catching all of it but he remained silent, save for the occasional ‘no problem, ma’am’ as a response to Mrs. Do’s gratitude. When they were already at the gate, Jongin knew that once Kyungsoo’s steps out of the gate, he’ll never see him again. He has a minute to stop Kyungsoo from going, but he thought that would be selfish. He wanted to stop them. But he can’t. He can’t bring himself to stop them, seeing Mrs. Do so happy after seeing her son for two months of being away from him.

Fifty three…

Fifty two…

Jongin you have fifty seconds to stop them!

He watched as Mrs. Do carefully escorted her son towards the gate. He kept looking over his shoulder, at Jongin. Jongin tried looking away but he’s too slow that he kept catching Kyungsoo’s gazes.

Thirty two…

Thirty one…

Jongin! Thirty seconds!

“Aren’t you going to do something?” Sehun suddenly asked beside him, lightly nudging him with his elbow. Jongin just shrugged, stuffing his hands on his pockets. They were a few steps away from the Dos.

Fourteen…

Thirteen…

Twelve…

Ten seconds!

He started counting down after, glaring at the gate as they went nearer and nearer to it. He was already having a mental breakdown by the count of six, contemplating whether to go for it or not. At the count of three, he took one step forward, closer to Kyungsoo but fck. Time’s too fast and he was too slow. They reached the gate, Mrs. Do bidding them goodbye and Kyungsoo on the brink of tears.

With one step, it was game over for Jongin.

~~

“Aren’t you going to get up?” Sehun asked, poking his disheartened friend on the shoulder. Jongin just groaned, his voice hoarse from crying too much. Yes, he’d been crying. He never left his room for almost a week now. He hasn’t been eating properly. Sehun had been visiting him everyday, bringing him food but Jongin will only have two to three bites of it before abandoning it on his desk. Sehun cursed at him so many times – which Jongin thought he deserved – because he was given the chance but he didn’t make a move to grab it. Now he’s sobbing alone in his room.

“Leave me alone.” Jongin said, making Sehun sigh. He got up because he knew Jongin was stubborn. When he says no, it will always be no. When he says he won’t eat, he won’t really eat. His decisions are pretty much final all the time. Sehun left afterwards after muttering a ‘call me when you need something’.

By the last day of the week, Jongin heard someone ringing his doorbell. He groaned. He thought it was Sehun, so he covered both his ears with his pillow.  However, the ringing didn’t stop. He shot up and glared at his door like it was the culprit. Sehun already has the key to his house but why is he suddenly ringing the doorbell!? What? He finally learned his manners? He groaned again, lazily moving towards the front door. Maybe it was one of Sehun’s tactics again to get him out of bed.

“Coming!” He shouted, annoyed when the doorbell kept ringing. He thought of running back to his room when the ringing stopped. But he supposed it would be rude to leave his friend outside and it will be too tiring to run from here to his room. Besides, he’s already near the door.

His usual droopy eyes and depressing aura were replaced with shock as he tries to register the person standing in front of him after opening the door. He pinched his side, trying to wake himself up if he was dreaming but realizing he isn’t when he felt pain.

There stood his little penguin, a yellow lunchbox in hand. Kyungsoo was smiling up at him sweetly and Jongin wanted to melt. After a few minutes of doing nothing, Jongin wasted no time grabbing Kyungsoo into his arms, taking him in a bone-crushing hug. He smiled when he felt Kyungsoo returning his hug. When they both pulled away, Jongin cupped Kyungsoo’s cheeks.

“You came back.” Jongin said, his face lighting up.

“I did.” The little penguin replied. “Kyungsoo missed Jonginnie ssi.”

Jongin couldn’t help but chuckle, pressing a small kiss on his forehead. “Jonginnie missed you too.”

“I came back because… there were so many things that I wasn’t able to say.” He says, drawing a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry for being so bad when I lived here. Kyungsoo felt like he was a burden to Jonginnie ssi. You didn’t know me but you fed me, you gave me clothes and took care of me. Kyungsoo is happy and thankful for that. Kyungsoo haven’t properly thanked Jonginnie ssi for all the good things he have done. So, thank you so much, Jonginnie ssi.” He smiled. “And…”

“And?” Jongin pressed.

Kyungsoo blushed. “Kyungsoo wants to say that… he loves Jonginnie ssi. Kyungsoo’s heart always fluttered when Jonginnie ssi is around. Kyungsoo didn’t know what it was at first, but Jonginnie made Kyungsoo realize what his feelings meant. I love you, Jonginnie ssi.” He ended, his face turning bright red.

Jongin was speechless after that. He didn’t expect Kyungsoo to confess to him. His heart felt so happy that it was pounding loudly inside his chest. He thinks it might come off anytime. He didn’t know Kyungsoo reciprocated his feelings all along. If he knew earlier, he would have stopped Kyungsoo from going long time ago.

When Jongin didn’t respond, Kyungsoo started regretting his words. Tears started welling in his eyes, his mind having a mental breakdown. He thought of so many things like what if Jongin was too shocked at his confession or what if Jongin didn’t like him.

He hadn’t realized tears were already falling down from his eyes. “I’m sorry for saying that. I should go—“

All his thoughts went away when Jongin leaned down, capturing his soft lips in a sweet kiss. Kyungsoo dropped his lunchbox, arms coming up to wrap around Jongin’s neck. Jongin’s lips moved expertly against Kyungsoo’s and it made the latter’s knees go weak. He was grateful that Jongin had his arms around him or he would have collapsed a long time ago. They both smiled when they pulled away, gasping for air. Jongin connected their foreheads, offering Kyungsoo his sweetest smile. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I took long to answer. Jonginnie loves you too, Kyungsoo. I love you too.” He says. Kyungsoo’s heart swelled in happiness, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at Jongin’s confession, eyes forming into small crescents. It was so adorable that Jongin couldn’t help but scoop him up, bringing him inside the house and leaned him against the door before capturing his lips into another kiss. It was fiercer this time, but Kyungsoo didn’t mind. He was too innocent that he didn’t realize Jongin’s kisses were becoming so strong. He thought it was normal.

Jongin was too overwhelmed with his feelings that his desires became uncontrollable. His longing for Kyungsoo for the past few months gathered all at once, and now he was venting up all his frustrations. Jongin’s lips travelled down to Kyungsoo’s neck, giving it open mouthed kisses and his collarbone.

Kyungsoo wasn’t that naïve to know where this is going. The last time the both of them watched a movie, there was this part where the male lead kissed the girl until he reached the female lead’s neck, and then a ual ensued after that. Kyungsoo froze when Jongin’s lips came down to his neck. When Kyungsoo let out a low moan, Jongin suddenly stopped, eyes widening. He suddenly realized what he was doing and he cursed himself for almost tainting the innocent boy.

“J-Jonginnie ssi… I d-don’t want to… I d-don’t—“

“I’m sorry.” Jongin said, sighing and bringing Kyungsoo to his arms. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to. I just missed you so much.”

“Do you want to do that?” Kyungsoo asked innocently and Jongin found it so endearing.

“Of course. I want to do that with you. But not right now. I don’t want to rush you. I’m sorry. Next time, okay? We’ll take things slow.” Jongin said, plating a soft kiss on the smaller male’s forehead.

“O-Okay.” Kyungsoo replied.

Jongin smiled. “I haven’t properly eaten for the past few days. I’m pretty sure that lunchbox was for me. Why don’t we eat it?” He pulled away to look at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo smiled and nodded. They both headed to the dining room, enjoying the meal Kyungsoo prepared. They talked a lot, trying to know each other more. It was impeccable, they both thought. Jongin didn’t mind taking things step by step because he knew it was worth it.

author's note:

EDITED!

I'm sorry if there are any errors. I didn't proof read this. After I finished writing this, I immediately posted it. :)

First fic. Thank you for reading. :D

PS: If you want a ChanBaek version, click here. ;)

-alphajee♥