final.
these unbreakable barriersHe’d tried to keep up with him,
willed himself to finish the race.
But Jongin was too fast, too quick
for him to match the pace.
He’d attempted to feign a smile,
when Jongin started coming
home late. A small,
dance practice went on for longer
than I’d expected
and Kyungsoo can only usher him inside,
feed him cuddles and ruffles to tousled brown hair and dinner
even though dinner, like many other things, had long gone cold.
He’d strived not to cry, when Jongin
doesn't turn up to their anniversary
dinner. He is left sitting there,
the wedding ring encased in his hands
dropped to the carpet and he assures himself,
I’ll propose next time.
He’d resolved not to hit Jongin
when the latter turns up drunk as hell,
reeking of feminine perfume and littered
with lipstick stains
all over his white button down shirt.
That night, Kyungsoo had tried to refuse
but Jongin, like all other nights,
pulled him to the bed.
Fast forward to a few hours later,
Kyungsoo is left alone on the stained sheets,
reeking of a mixture of Jongin’s
cologne and some woman’s perfume.
He aches all over, face red from the heat.
That night, he cries and cries, but he still doesn’t leave.
And Kyungsoo snaps when a breaking point is reached
A limit, a boundary, a barrier, all is breached.
The snap arrives, welcomed and anticipated,
when Jongin raises a palm and brings it across alabaster skin.
White, pure, innocence is tainted with ugly, red, angry marks
and you could hear Jongin’s regret, you could hear a drop of a pin
when Kyungsoo rises, eyes ablaze
cheeks rosy
fists clenched
and he tries to walk out of the house,
pushes away warm arms clad in white shirt sleeves. Button-down.
but it’s like being trapped in a maze
Which way do I go?
--
This is a story, a story with twists and turns
A story, when being told, causes eyes to burn
with tears
bringing the memory of smiles and honest happiness
button nose
soft, sweet, steady breathing against necks
lips sealed
b with unsaid words that would’ve healed
empty promises, sweet nothings
were all of these worth it?
Life goes on, and 6 years later, life still goes on.
26 year old Kyungsoo is a phoenix.
Reborn from burnt, dry, black, black, black ashes into a beautiful bird.
Soaring high, flying, free.
He is successful. A businessman.
He owns one of the top music industries in all of Korea, and he is going great.
Going perfectly great.
Until one day, one cold, winter’s day, a candidate for an opening for a choreographer pops up, trudges in for an interview.
And its like Kyungsoo is rewinded back into the past
when he catches sight of who it is.
Creamy, pure, innocent. White button-down shirt. Crisp and clean.
Tousled brown hair.
A killer smile, Kyungsoo remembers, but then he realises that
now
that killer smile is no longer there.
In its place, a thin, weary line.
His twinkling, mischievous, deep, chocolate eyes?
Replaced by a dull, murky brown.
Kyungsoo gives him the job.
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