He’d tried to keep up with him,

willed himself to finish the race.

But Jongin was too fast, too quick

for him to match the pace.

He’d attempted to feign a smile,

when Jongin started coming

home late. A small,

dance practice went on for longer

than I’d expected

and Kyungsoo can only usher him inside,

feed him cuddles and ruffles to tousled brown hair and dinner

even though dinner, like many other things, had long gone cold.

He’d strived not to cry, when Jongin

doesn't turn up to their anniversary

dinner. He is left sitting there,

the wedding ring encased in his hands

dropped to the carpet and he assures himself,

I’ll propose next time.

He’d resolved not to hit Jongin

when the latter turns up drunk as hell,

reeking of feminine perfume and littered

with lipstick stains

all over his white button down shirt.

That night, Kyungsoo had tried to refuse

but Jongin, like all other nights,

pulled him to the bed.

Fast forward to a few hours later,

Kyungsoo is left alone on the stained sheets,

reeking of a mixture of Jongin’s

cologne and some woman’s perfume.

He aches all over, face red from the heat.

That night, he cries and cries, but he still doesn’t leave.

And Kyungsoo snaps when a breaking point is reached

A limit, a boundary, a barrier, all is breached.

The snap arrives, welcomed and anticipated,

when Jongin raises a palm and brings it across alabaster skin.

White, pure, innocence is tainted with ugly, red, angry marks

and you could hear Jongin’s regret, you could hear a drop of a pin

when Kyungsoo rises, eyes ablaze

cheeks rosy

fists clenched

and he tries to walk out of the house,

pushes away warm arms clad in white shirt sleeves. Button-down.

but it’s like being trapped in a maze

Which way do I go?

--

This is a story, a story with twists and turns

A story, when being told, causes eyes to burn

with tears

bringing the memory of smiles and honest happiness

button nose

soft, sweet, steady breathing against necks

lips sealed

b with unsaid words that would’ve healed

empty promises, sweet nothings

were all of these worth it?

Life goes on, and 6 years later, life still goes on.

26 year old Kyungsoo is a phoenix.

Reborn from burnt, dry, black, black, black ashes into a beautiful bird.

Soaring high, flying, free.

He is successful. A businessman.

He owns one of the top music industries in all of Korea, and he is going great.

Going perfectly great.

Until one day, one cold, winter’s day, a candidate for an opening for a choreographer pops up, trudges in for an interview.

And its like Kyungsoo is rewinded back into the past

when he catches sight of who it is.

Creamy, pure, innocent. White button-down shirt. Crisp and clean.

Tousled brown hair.

A killer smile, Kyungsoo remembers, but then he realises that

now

that killer smile is no longer there.

In its place, a thin, weary line.

His twinkling, mischievous, deep, chocolate eyes?

Replaced by a dull, murky brown.

Kyungsoo gives him the job.