RENT 6 - BOYFRIEND TRAINING
Note: The information below about the Triad Organizational Structure came from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triad_(underground_society)
[ Friday ]
Boyfriend Training? Hahahahahaha!!
GD pocketed his phone after texting and immediately ducked to dodge the steel bar that was swung onto his head by the man behind him. He spinned on his heels and threw a punch at the guy who was about to attack him again. A while ago, he received a text from Dara reminding him of the so-called Boyfriend Training.
He looked around and saw all his men still busy engaging with their own fights. GD then lazily strided towards the guy pinning their youngest member, Seungri, and quickly immobilized him.
"Thank goodness you're done texting!", Seungri exclaimed, almost running out of breath.
"Can we use our guns now, boss?", Daesung asked after kicking a hooligan on the face.
"That's too noisy. The Local Bears (cops) might hear us", GD replied while dodging a body that was hurled by TOP on their direction.
"Ooops, sorry", TOP smiled, trying to act adorable.
"What a big klutz", Youngbae remarked and all of them burst into laughter.
GD and his crew were ambushed while inspecting an abandoned building that the Triad plans to buy. These kinds of senseless fights is but a normal part of their life. Daesung and Seungri just got back from an overseas business trip and they can't wait to hear about their Boss's recent shenanigan with a girl named Sandara Park.
"TOP, do I have any schedule later?", GD asked, not even flinching while gripping the throat of a man.
"Boyfriend duties", he answered matter-of-factly.
"Whoohooo!!! Whoot! Whoot!", everyone cheered and whistled as if they're not in the middle of a life and death battle.
I was sitting by the fountain while observing the people that walk past me. He's late...AGAIN! Heaven help me.
I scanned the place one more time. Na-da. No Jiyong in sight. I wonder what's holding him up. Is he alright? I've texted him before coming here and he said he's on his way. I sighed as I watched some people who momentarily stops in front of the fountain to throw a coin and make a wish. That gave me an idea.
I threw a bunch of coins, clasped my hands and made a wish. Then I went back to being miserable.
I pulled out my iPad and started to review the codes of my programmers. Might as well be productive while waiting, right? I got too preoccupied with what I'm doing; oblivious to the noise around me.
"Unnie, watch out!!!", a kid's voice slashed through my consciousness. I lifted my head and saw a huge coin flying directly towards my face! I'm absolutely certain it will hit me! IT WILL HIT ME!!! Oh my gosh, why is my body not moving!
I was about to shut my eyes before the impact when a hand suddenly materialized before me and caught the speeding coin. I blinked rapidly trying to digest the whole situation. A hand?
"Geek", a voice muttered and pulled his hand away from my face. Jiyong!
He strided towards the kid and gave the coin back.
I exhaled in relief. Whoahhh. That gave me a scare.
"Thanks. But you're still late", I said. He was just standing there with his hands inside his pockets, looking intently at me.
"What?", I scoffed.
"Congratulations. You have reflexes as good as a grandmother's", he mockingly said.
It took him less than two minutes to annoy the living crap out of me. Awesome.
"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that because I'm a very PATIENT WOMAN", I retorted.
I gave him a tight-lipped smile, the kind of smile that says I-will-scratch-your-eyes-if-you-don't-stop-your-mouth-from-moving. He apparently didn't read my mood.
"You should've ducked to dodge it. Or you could've tilted your head sideways.", he continued.
"Here dodge this", he took one step forward and poked me in my forehead with his forefinger.
"YAH!!!", I tried to slap his hand but he was quick to dodge it.
"See? Grandmother reflex"
He attacked my face again, this time poking my cheeks.
"YAHHHHHHHH!!!", I abruptly stood up and swung both my arms in rapid succession to hit him. He just calmly stepped backwards whenever I try to go near.
"I thought you're a patient woman?", he was already chuckling at the pathetic sight of me trying to hit him with my hands. He was able to dodge each of my attacks. WAAHH!! I WANT TO HIT HIM BADLY!! I WANT REVENGE!
"Here's another one", he poked me on my shoulders, making me step backwards.
"YAH!! LET ME HIT YOU!", I stomped my feet in frustration while my arms hang limply on my side. It amused him even more and started laughing loudly at me.
"JERK!", I hissed and turned my back at him. I stuffed my things inside my bag while mumbling incoherent words.
"Here", I heard him say. I glanced back at him and his extended arm.
"What now? You want me to dodge again?", I suspiciously looked at his open palm.
"You want to hit me, right? Take your revenge", he smiled.
I stared at him with disbelief. Aigoo, this guy. I slapped his hands away and snarled at him. Then we both ended up laughing.
"So what's the plan, Patient Woman?"
"I will turn you into an ideal boyfriend, you arrogant jerk"
Being a Project Leader, I'm quite organized with the things that I want to accomplish. As for the Boyfriend Training, I've divided it into several parts. Not even my years of hands-on experience in the office prepared me for what I was about to do.
This is the tragic tale of my attempt to turn a complete as$hole into a likeable creature.
[ First Part: Get-to-know-you conversation ]
We were at a coffee shop. I told him that we will ask each other a question and we should answer truthfully. We will do this alternately. I've devised this plan so that we will be able to have the same answers to questions that might be thrown at us by my officemates.
"Shoot", he said.
"What's your favorite color?"
"Mhmmm. Not bad. Mine is yellow. Or pink! Okay, your turn. Ask away", I happily said and grabbed my glass.
"Are you still a virgin?"
The juice almost shoots out of my nose. I was gasping for air while punching my chest with my right fist as I tried to set him on fire with my laser beam glare.
"Just wondering...", he shrugged his shoulders like it's the most normal question in the world.
"You're a perverted retard. Ask another question.", I muttered through gritted teeth.
"Okay. I bet you're a virgin, then"
[ Second Part: Conversing with Other People ]
"During our company's Acquaintance Party, you will mingle with my officemates. You better learn how to carry yourself properly in front of them or else, they might get suspicious. Just converse comfortably. Be confident"
We were walking at the park and I was seriously coaching him, trying to make him understand the gravity of the situation. But he's back to his noncommittal self. I don't even know if he's listening. He seemed detached from the outside world again. <*sigh>
"Pay attention!", I whined.
"Yeah, I am. Talk to them confidently, right? I can do that."
"Yeah, really. Want me to demonstrate it?", he cocked his eyebrows, challenging me.
"Go ahead. I'd like to see you try.", I said. What is he planning to do? Talk to a random stranger.
To my surprise, he strided towards a hot chick sitting by the park bench. Random stranger is not so random afterall. He could've chosen to talk to the guy standing just a few steps away from us but NO! He had to choose that chick wearing almost nothing! Almost NOTHING, I tell you! I seriously want to grab a banana leaf and cover her with it!
I sat at the park bench next to them and eavesdropped to their conversation. I inched closer to the edge of the bench and stretched my ears to hear what they're s-... OH MY GOSSHHHH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT HER BOOB SIZE?!!
He then discreetly glanced at me and winked! <*GASP!> THE NERVEEEEE!!!!
Minutes later, the girl is under his spell. I knew it, he's an olympic athlete of seduction.
Before I spontaneously combust in my seat, he finally stood up and went towards me.
"Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead and enjoy your time with her", I sarcastically said.
"You CRAZY?", I shot back and marched away. He trailed a few steps behind me.
"I thought this is part of boyfriend training? Why are you mad, then?", I heard him ask with a hint of amusement in his voice. I stopped and faced him, my eyebrows criss-crossing.
"I asked you to be confident while engaging in a serious conversation with others. You two talked about her boob size!", I accusingly said.
"Oh, that. It's a serious conversation. There are things that virgins like you will not understand"
Man, I AM PISSED! I was about to explode his skull with the power of my mind.
"Excuse me, I may be a virgin. But I'm not stupid"
"Yes, really", I shot back.
"Shut up, muppet", I coldly stared him down.
"You just admitted that you're a virgin."
"Gotcha", he winked and pointed his forefinger at me.
[ Third Part: How He Should Treat Me ]
If there's a Patron of Patience, I badly need his help right now. I'm so close to slashing Jiyong's throat with my bare hands.
"In front of other people, you should act like you only have your eyes on me. You should act like you're madly in love with me."
"Meh", he stuck his tongue out and pretended to throw up.
I'm slowly losing my hair!
"Jiyong...". there was a warning tone in my voice. We were walking in the streets of Insadong and I'm seriously getting tired of him being uncooperative. I stopped walking and sighed heavily.
"Alright. Eyes only on you", he said as he stopped on his tracks and looked intently at me.
"O-Okay. That's good. Uhm.. And you should be attentive to my needs", I said while meeting his gaze.
"Got it", he said, still looking directly into my eyes.
Wahhhh!! This is getting awkward! My heartbeat is going crazy because of his stare!
"Anything else?", he asked, with a serious expression on his face.
"And..and...", oh boy, I lost my tongue.
"And I should call you Babe, right?", he added.
"I can do that. Want me to demonstrate again?", he declared as a mischievous smirk broke on his lips. Oh no. Oh no no no no NO! I knew that smile!
Before I can stop him, he draped his arm over my shoulder and talked in the LOUDEST voice possible, successfully getting the attention of everybody within the vicinity.
"BABE! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT? JUST TELL ME! I WILL BUY YOU ANYTHING!! ANYTHING!!"
"Stop this Jiyong, this isn't funny", I said between gritted teeth while trying to avoid the curious glances of the people around us.
"AWWWW!! YOU KNOW I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, BABE! BECAUSE I'M SO IN LUUUUUVVVEEEE WITH YOU!"
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
"Ha ha, he's joking. He's joking", I apologetically bowed at the bystanders because of the scandalous behaviour of the idiot beside me.
"<*GASP>! BABE, I WILL NEVER JOKE ABOUT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU!!", he clutched his chest in an exaggerated manner while looking incredulously at me.
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH!!! THE SHAME! THE EMBARRASSMENT!! THE HUMILIATION!!!
"Ji, stop it. Seriously", I pulled his sleeve and was so eager to drag him out of there that I bumped into some guy.
"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU ALRIGHT, BABE? DUDE, YOU ARE SO DEAD! HOW DARE YOU BUMP ON THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!", the poor guy was beyond mortified at the sight of Jiyong charging towards him like a bull. I immediately stepped between them and apologized profusely.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He forgot to take his medicine. Ha ha ha", I pushed Jiyong away but he stepped sidewards and was about to charge at the guy again.
"C'MERE! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? HUH?"
Kill me now, please....
I can almost swear I saw a glint of red in her eyes, like she's about to murder me with just about anything she could grab.
She told me the fourth part of the training is 'Table Etiquette'. What the hell. This whole Boyfriend Training thing is one of the most ridiculous idea I've ever encountered.
I continued eating with as much noise as I could muster - slurping the soup sloppily making her visibly cringe at the sight.
"Please close your mouth while eating.", Dara sternly whispered.
I stared at her innocently and....<*CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP>
She tightly shut her eyes in frustration and blew out some air to calm herself. Hahahaha!
Any moment, I knew she's bound to erupt. I mentally gave myself a pat in the back for a job well done.
"Jiyong, stop sabotaging the training and just eat like you normally do"
That finally does it for her. She put down her chopsticks, squared her shoulders and started nagging me. Her mouth launched a thousand words per minute.
Ahhhh, pissing her off is such a fulfilling hobby.
I wonder why she's still not giving up on this whole setup. I obviously annoyed the living sh!t out of her the entire time she's with me. But Dara didn't even threaten me of backing out and not renting me.
It boggles my mind in so many ways. Sandara Park is such a weird girl.
"Ugh! You're unbelievable!", she exclaimed. I gave her a cheeky smile and decided to drop the act. I've already pissed her enough so my evil side is already satisfied.
We ate in silence afterwards. I was closely observing her. I think she's already weighing if she should still proceed on renting me or not. Oh well, I had my share of fun.
She sighed for the nth time and called the waiter.
"Can you wrap four red bean sweet buns for us, please?", she said.
"I thought you don't like red bean sweet buns?", I asked.
"No, I don't. But you do. I noticed you enjoyed eating it", she answered.
I was taken aback. She was actually the first one to notice that. I shook my head in amusement while smiling inwardly. She's really funny. She never ceases to amaze me.
The waiter arrived and Dara handed me the paper bag containing the sweet buns.
"No thanks. I'm okay", I said.
"Please, I insist. A token of gratitude for today"
A token of gr-.. What? This woman is fcked up in the head. She obviously know I was deliberately sabotaging this boyfriend training.
"What's your play, Geek? Is this reverse psychology?"
"What? No, of course not! Why? Are you feeling guilty?", she answered while chuckling.
"Guilt is not in my vocabulary", I said.
"I bet. You're a jerk after all", she retorted.
"Yes, I am. So why are you still renting me?", there. The million dollar question has been asked.
"Hmmm.. Because I have a feeling that there's more about you that I have yet to see"
"Don't worry. I won't give up on you", she smiled gently at me.
I saw TOP and Seungri hugging each other while pouting their lips for a smooch like a couple of gaytards. Har-har. Those suckers are gonna die in my hands later.
Errr...Okay, this is awkward.
We're already on our way back to my apartment and he is back to being an android - lost in his own thoughts as we walked towards my building. He has a very intimidating air around him everytime he wears that serious expression on his face.
"Today's a total waste, huh?", he finally broke the silence when we're a few minutes away from the building entrance.
"Not really", I answered. He stopped on his tracks and looked questioningly at me. I wonder why he seemed to be always surprised with my answers.
"Not really? I didn't comply with any of your training regimen", he said.
"Yeah, you deliberately annoyed the crap out of me.", I smiled while recalling my day with him.
"But because of that, I became comfortable in showing you my temper and calling you names. I think that's better than what I had in mind.", I fixed my gaze at the ground, watching my feet take every step.
Silence again. Seriously, what the hell is running on his mind?
"At least I got my wish today", I continued. He glanced at me curiously.
"At the fountain, I wished that I would get to know more about you. And I did! Ha! Your favorite color is red and you like sweet buns!", I enthusiastically exclaimed.
"Those details are irrelevant", he nonchalantly said.
Why does he always have to burst my happy bubble? Why?!
I stopped and turned to him when we reached the apartment building.
"So..uhm...", I was still trying to properly phrase my words of thanks when...
"What? Want me to kiss you goodnight?", he calmly asked.
Argh! This jerk!
I showed my fist at him and turned around, leaving him roaring with laughter.
GRRRR...He was instantly promoted to prime as$hole rank in my list.
"Hey geek!", he called out as I was about to open the door.
"What?!", I grumpily replied.
I saw him striding towards me. What now? He stopped in front of me, smiled and leaned forward. OMG!! What is he doing?! What is he doing?!!
His face continued to slowly bridge the gap between us. HE'S GOING TO KISS ME!!! I firmly shut my eyes. I can feel his warm breath on my face. Ottokae! This is it!
"G-Dragon", I heard his soft whisper.
Huh? I peeked through one eye and saw his face tilted towards my ear, his cheeks almost touching mine.
"G-Dragon. That's my alias. But I prefer you calling me by my real name, Jiyong", he whispered and pulled away from me.
Oh gosh, he'll be the death of me!
"You sure you don't want me to kiss you goodnight?", he playfully asked while tilting his head in amusement.
GAAAAAAAAHHH!!! I ran out of there as quickly as possible!
I collapsed on my bed, still thinking about the entire thing.
A warm feeling washed over me. Somehow, it felt like he granted my wish of knowing something about him. Without meaning to, a smile crept on my lips - which was immediately wiped off the moment I read a text message from Jiyong.
Next week will be the Girlfriend Training. You better prepare, geek.
I was about to reply when my phone beeped again. This jerk, really! I opened my inbox, convinced that the message was from Jiyong but..
Dude! Let's go out for a drink next week! We haven't had our drinking sessions since December. Are you avoiding me?
It was from Lee Donghae.
Thank you to OhItsLai (daragonlai), jomi25 (Joan Constantino), joeish, jaybee238 and kamepi_chan (Ellie) who all gave me chap banners to aid me with every chapter! THANK YOU, I REALLY LOVE THEM!! (I posted them on the foreword section)
. I WILL USE EVERY ONE OF THEM IN MY FUTURE CHAPS!!
If you do know how to make a short video like a fanfic trailer, I would also gladly appreciate it! (I'm just curious 'coz I tried doing one, but I'm not sure why mine is so messy. And the sound is off and...I could go on and on.)
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!!!
Ellie, you and your battle cries for long chappies! I'm trying to make them short, woman! =))
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