Bib, bib, bib.

A funny smell of medicine and chemicals is handing in the air like a thick air-bobble. The pain is growing back and it's like being forced to breath. The view begin to come back and he look into some strong, beautiful eyes. The eyes only owned by Baekho.

“Hey Ren” He says low and smiles. He has tears in his eyes, like nothing Ren has seen before. Not like that. It is pure fear.

He looks down on himself and see he is laying with a white duvet on and looks beside him and some different medicine.

“Where am I?” He asks and looks at Baekho which is still looking like he is crying. “You are at the hospital” He says sad and in some way Ren don't understand why he is here or why he is crying. What had happened or anything.

“What am I doing here?” he asks and looks around. He can still hear the heart monitor machine at his right side. “You don't remember anything?” Baekho asks mostly crying. Ren looks at him and shake his head. “Ren... You... You jumped down a bridge” Baekho is crying and touching Ren's cheek.

Ren looks down and now he actually remember what happened. “Ren what is wrong with you? Why did you do that and how long have you tried to commit suicide?” Baekho's voice are shaking and he sink nervous, waiting for Ren to answer.

“I remember” Ren says low and looks down on his hands. “I did that”

Baekho's eyes got harder “But why Ren, why did you do it? Why in that way?” He cries and Ren looks at him in a hard way. “Because I just couldn't do it anymore” He says and break out into tears. “I just couldn't” Baekho hold around him while submissive boyfriend are crying. “Ren I love you” He whisper, but then his maknae just push him away.

“No you don't” he says hard. “If you really loved me, then you would be there for me. I know I do like our lifestyle, but Baekho... I... I just feel like... Like you are just using me” He cries.

Baekho then feel this anger raise inside him.

“You where dead Ren. You where dead when they found you and they did everything they could to bring you back” he mostly yell and cry in the same time. “You are just so... Selfish to think that it was the way to do it. Do you even know how scared I was, I couldn't get her fast enough and you jumped down from a bridge. I don't know what I should do without you” he says sad.

“Keep living” Ren says hard and looks at his master. “My mother don't love me and my father left. I have no friends, no work, nothing else then... Then... Not even you want me, just admitted” he says with tears in his eyes.

Baekho kneel down beside him and kiss his hand. “Ren I do love you” he says sad “And if it will make you happy that maybe we are not together I do understand. I will chance lifestyle with you, I promise. I will do anything for you, I will go past fire and water for you. I know who your mother are and she is very sick Ren. She is very sick”

His eyes keep looking into Ren's. “But honey... You where dead when they found you. When they called me... T...They told me... You...” he sink and cry. “Two girls saw you jumping and they had yelled after you, but you didn't answer them. They tried to get to you, but when you jumped it was to late. Then the ambulance came and you... You just laid in the water, but a boat got to you. When they found you, your lungs where filled with water and you where drowning inside yourself. Your heart stopped Ren.. You... You wasn't alive anymore. You...You where gone” he cries and hold Ren's hand tight. “You where gone”

Baekho just keep on crying, but Ren didn't know how he should react. He thought Baekho didn't care about him, but now he got this massive guilt that he has brought him though so much pain.

“I am sorry” Ren says and can feel the tears appear again. “I am so, so sorry Baekho... Please... Please don't leave me. Don't forgive me, but don't leave me” he says sad.

Baekho didn't really know what he meant at first, because normally it's please forgive me.

“I won't forgive you for doing that and you are going to a psychologist to deal with what ever there are wrong with you. I will help you with everything I can, I promise” he says and lean up, kissing the young, blond boy's lips.

The doctor came into the room and smiles to Baekho as he step aside. “My name is Mr. Kim” The doctor says with a very professional voice and a very big smile. Of course he is very proud of having saved the young boy.

“Hey” Ren whisper and looks down on his hands there are still holding Baekho's. “We are going to make some tests on you, to see how your body is doing and when you can go home” He says with a smile.

Ren doesn't do anything else then just nods and smile. When they begin to do every sort of tests a lot of questions came back into Ren's head. Where were he, how is his mother, what day it is, when did they found him.

“So what day is it today?” He asks the doctor. “It's the 11^th September” The doctor say short. “You jumped the 10^th September, but luckily we saved you”

Ren just nod and listen to what the doctor had to say, even he is not really sure that it was such a good idea that they saved him.

“Why did you do it?” The doctor which is called Mr. Kim asked.

Ren lift his shoulders and bite his lip. “I don't know, maybe because I just... I couldn't see any other way” he says sad and looks down. Mr. Kim nods and then finish his work. “I understand, but you need some help Mr. Choi” he says gentle.

Ren nods and looks up at him “Thanks doctor” he says and smiles a bit, but his smile is sad. Very sad.

Baekho hold his hand again and kiss him. “I never hope this will happen again” he says sad. Ren smiles to him “It won't, I promise”

After a few days Ren is ready to take home. Of course Baekho is there and holding his hand all the way out to their car, which Baekho has got while Ren was in the hospital. On the way home they talk about everything there had happen. Why he did it and what will happen now.

He open the door and look around in that place he call home. The place with Baekho and he walks in, when Baekho got the things from the car.

He got this anger in his eyes and of course Ren do understand why. “Minki?” Baekho asks and Ren looks at him. “Yeah?” he asks and Baekho take his hands and kneel down. He kiss them gentle and looks up at him. “Please, don't ever make me so scared again, please. I was so afraid that you would die and I will do anything in my power to help you. Please” he beg and Ren got this pain inside him, why did he brought so much pain to the man he love?

“I am sorry” he begin to cry and the tears fall down his cheeks. “I am so, so sorry”. He mostly can't stand the feeling, but his get use has Baekho's right hand go into his pocket on his jacket.

He take a small black box out and show it to Ren. “If you promise me you will never do such a thing again, I will make a promise to you” He says and smiles, then lean closer and stand right on his left leg. He breath in and breath out to relax himself.

“Choi Minki, I promise you to stay by your side no matter what kind of life you choose with me. I promise I will always be there and I always will protect you, but please” Then he open the box and show the ring “will you marry me?” he asks and then he actually got tears in his eyes.

Ren stand mostly in shock and he can't even move “Yes, yes of course I want to marry you” He says with a big smile, but wet cheeks and kiss him hard. Baekho lift him hard and hold him tight.

“I love you more then anything” Baekho says lovely. Ren smiles and a tear fall from his eyes “I love you even more” he says lovely as well. “But... I will choose our life with our TBLW” He says and giggles.

Baekho lift an eyebrow and doesn't really understand what he mean. “TBLW?” He asks a bit confused. “Yeah, you know... The Black Loving Whip” Ren says and giggles.

Baekho makes a small sound and then giggles “I love it” he says and kiss Ren back. “Then that will be our life my little slave” Baekho says and Ren nods happy.

“TBLW”

This is the end guys ^^ Hope you enjoyed it.