Bruised with Longing

The Shades of Night

Leaves like golden coins crunched underfoot as Death and Daesung walked together. The brunette curled his arms around himself, more in the mimicry of being chill than from any actual feeling. Though…this was the longest he had stayed outside of his body; he was starting to feel numb in his fingertips and toes. A shiver jangled down his spine at the thought that maybe he was never going to wake up – that this was his last ride before Death took him away. And, deep underneath the jaded weariness, that made him sad.

“Death?”

The immortal looked down at Daesung. “Yes, Daesung?”

“I’m gay, aren’t I?”

That almost managed to make Death laugh. He simply nodded. “Yes. All of your possible futures have you falling in love with a man.” Except one, but that one… Well, Death would do everything he could to prevent that future from coming to pass.

Daesung nodded slowly. “That…explains a lot, actually.” He his full bottom lip. “Do I get to know what happened this time?” Tipping his head back, he brushed his unruly waves out of his eyes in order to look at Death.

“You might want to see it before I tell you anything,” Death mused.

He sighed. “So, where are we heading?”

“You will see.” Death folded his hands behind his back and continued to walk at a nearly leisurely pace. They finally arrived at a quiet park – the ground littered in a myriad of leaves. Finally, Death pointed to where an arched red bridge stretched over a pond. On top of the bridge stood a tall, lean man with jet black hair and a style so sharp it was cutting to simply look at him. Where Jiyong was soft but eccentric and Youngbae was comfortably chic, this man was powerful and hard. Daesung felt his breath catch just looking at him. He was beautiful.

“Definitely gay,” he mumbled under his breath.

The figure on the bridge shifted, clearly becoming uncomfortable with waiting. Then Daesung spotted his future self sneaking up behind the man – an impish grin turning his lips. Daesung laughed a little to himself as the other version of himself managed to get all the way up behind the man before being caught. “Yah!” The stranger growled, his low voice warm in all the best ways. “What do you think you’re doing, Dae?” Reaching out, he curled his fingers around the back of future Daesung’s neck and drug him closer. “You should know better than to try to sneak up on me.”

Laughing, the future Daesung wiggled in his grip. “But it’s so fun to try! Admit it: You’d be sad if I didn’t at least try!”

A playful scowl settled on the stranger’s features before he gave up his hold on Daesung’s neck in order to fold him into a hug. “I admit nothing,” he grumbled. “Why were you so late?”

Daesung rolled his eyes. “Someone decided I didn’t look fashionable enough to be seen with you. I had to change my outfit at least six times before I was allowed out the door. It was a bit ridiculous.”

The stranger leaned back in order to examine Daesung’s outfit more closely. “Mm. The sweater was a good choice – it makes you look very snuggly. And my favorite jeans.” A smirk settled on the handsome man’s lips. “I approve.”

“You would,” the future Daesung sighed sadly. “Here I thought you would just be happy to see me in all of my glory.. even if I were in sweats and a hoodie.”

The stranger’s eye twitched. “I would be happy to see you,” he hazarded, “but I’m even happier to see you dressed nicely. You don’t do it often.”

His Daesung shrugged loosely. “Old habits die hard, I guess. I spent so many years rocking scrubs that real pants just feel weird. I think I’d go without them entirely if I thought I could.”

“Mm, now that sounds enjoyable,” the stranger purred, his hand managing to quickly slide down Daesung’s back.

“Hey-a! I don’t think so, mister. We’ll be dead meat if we are so much as ten minutes late, and that glitter in your eye is at least a solid half of bad intentions.” Daesung chuckled as his future self caught the rogue hand and tangled their fingers firmly together. “You’re just lucky I agreed to come pick you up, otherwise you’d never find your way. And then you’d be dead.”

When the stranger laughed, it was colored with a strange hint of irony. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he drawled.

The future Daesung simply shot him a look. “Did you at least remember your gift?” At the stranger’s nod, a smile broke out over his Daesung’s face. “Good. It means we can go, go, go!” Leaning up, he pecked the stranger’s cheek before dragging him back the way he had come.

Daesung looked up at Death. “Do I get my explanation yet?” Death shook his head. “Sheesh. Either it’s really good or really bad, I can’t tell. Now you’ve got me worried.” He started to jog after the pair – following them deeper into the park. At last they came to a little pavilion settled deep among the trees and surrounded by beautiful maples dripping in bright red leaves.

“You guys were nearly late,” a familiar figure with an all-white mowhawk called.

“Not our fault,” Daesung called back, nearly skipping up the rest of the path. Releasing the stranger’s hand, he caught Youngbae in a tight hug. “It’s the perfect day, really. To celebrate.”

Youngbae nodded, a peaceful smile turning his lips. The dying Daesung could not help but notice how different he looked; it was like someone had put the light back in his eyes and shaved a good ten years off his age. “I know. All that praying I did must have paid off or something.” The man then turned his gaze towards the stranger. “It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you could make it.”

The stranger inclined his head slightly. “Glad to be here,” he said simply, his eyes twinkling impishly.

And then Daesung heard a laugh that was like the sound of ringing bells mixed with the cackling of a raven. His body flooded with light as Jiyong came gliding up to the pavilion. “Dae!” The now redhead caught his friend about the neck and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “I see you didn’t manage to ruin your appearance too badly since I saw you. Good. It means I can let you live.” The future Daesung exchanged a look with the stranger.

“You’re very merciful, Ji. What would I do without you?” The dying Daesung’s heart ached; he knew the answer to that question.

“Be less fabulous, obviously,” Ji drawled.

Both Daesungs laughed. “Well, thank you for being in my life, Ji. I appreciate you the way the sun appreciates flowers in the springtime.”

“Sappy,” Ji accused lightly. “But cute.”

Future Daesung rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Right, so we going to celebrate or are we going to stand here doing nothing?”

“Doing nothing?” the stranger drawled. “Here I thought I was standing here looking y.” His eyebrow arched.

“Point. But that is not what we came here for. If it were, we could have done that anywhere,” the future Daesung countered easily. "Like at home, where I could be in my sweats."

Death drifted a little closer to Daesung, and that funny little smile was on the edge of his mouth again. Jiyong tugged the future Daesung over to a table where a little cake had been set up; it was clear that Youngbae had done the decorating because Ji was a disaster with cake. Sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, Jiyong used his lighter to light the candles on the cake. Everyone then turned to Daesung, who quickly blew the candles out. “My birthday’s in April,” the dying Daesung murmured. “Why am I blowing out candles on a cake?” Death simply chuckled, continuing to watch the scene.

“Happy second birthday!” Youngbae said brightly, clapping Daesung on the shoulder. “Ji had me draw hearts on your cake. To commemorate.”

The future Daesung nodded sagely. “They’re very nice. Me and my new heart thank you very much, Youngbae.”

“You always say the nicest things,” Youngbae teased. “How does it feel – having had your new heart for a whole year?”

Daesung took a deep, deep breath. “Like I’ve been given wings,” he decided. “And the chance to really live.”

The stranger wrapped his arms around Daesung’s waist and let his chin rest on the strong curve of the brunette’s shoulder. “I hope your heart beats strong for eighty years,” he murmured softly. “And that, someday, you die safely in your sleep. The way you’re meant to.”

A look of surprise flickered across the dying Daesung’s face. “How…?” He looked up at Death, who shrugged slightly.

“On that Christmas night, a stranger stopped Jiyong on the way home – asked him for directions to the nearest hotel. The doctors were able to stabilize your condition, and the last time you died was November 4th…when they replaced your heart with a viable candidate.” Death looked particularly pleased with himself at that piece of information.

“And…him?” Daesung nodded to the stranger.

Death quietly took Daesung’s hand in his. “Jiyong ended up inviting the stranger home for Christmas dinner when he realized the man was just going to spend Christmas in a hotel room alone. And he brought him to the hospital to meet you, because everyone needs a visitor on Christmas morning.” Death turned to look fully at Daesung. “He had been in love with you from the moment he had seen you, though the nature of that love changed. First it was the need to protect an angel that had fallen and become lost in the body of a weak little boy. Then it was that of a friend who wanted to be there but could not because of their circumstances. And, then, it became something more. Something that made the man give up his immortality in order to spend a lifetime with you.”

Daesung couldn’t breathe or even think. “B-but he looks nothing like you. And why.. but… Me?”

The immortal’s long, cold fingers curled around Daesung’s jaw. “When I gave up my immortality, my appearance changed. It was the descent of mortality. And it has always been you, Daesung. You are everything bright and beautiful.”

From where they stood sharing a piece of cake, the future Daesung leaned back in order to look at the man still wrapped around him. “I love you, Seunghyun… my dark angel.” Rising up onto his toes, he kissed a bit of frosting off of the man’s lips.

Death gave Daesung’s hand a gentle tug. “Time to go,” he murmured.

Daesung frowned. “Am I going to die now?”

They were suddenly standing in the room where the doctors were fighting to save him, and Jiyong was still being drug out of the room. Only moments had passed. Death shrugged. “It’s up to you, Daesung. Do you still want to die?”

The brunette looked up into Death’s eyes and shook his head. “No… Life’s too beautiful to give up yet.”

Death nodded. “Then you won’t die today, Daesung.” He wrapped the young man into his arms for a gentle hug before releasing him. “Until we meet again, Daesung.”

Daesung needed an entire two weeks to recover from yet another surgery, but the doctors were at last more optimistic about his condition. When Jiyong was finally allowed to visit, he barged through the door and wiggled to see Daesung awake. “You’re alive!” He danced over and gave his best friend’s hand a squeeze. “I brought you some additional company. Thought you might enjoy something to brighten up your Christmas morning!

“It’s .. Christmas?” Daesung’s gaze immediately locked on the door, which swung open to reveal a rather impressive mowhawk. His lips twitched. “Youngbae.”

Jiyong’s eyes went wide. “How did you – I didn’t tell you about him!”

Daesung his bottom lip. “Lucky guess,” he murmured. “He looks like a Youngbae.”

Running a hand over the back of his head, Youngbae entered the room more fully. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Daesung,” the man said shyly. “Jiyong’s told me all about you.”

“I’m sure we’ll be great friends,” Daesung murmured. “So long as you take care of my Ji.”

Jiyong was about to say something snarky in reply – Daesung could see it on his face – when the door suddenly swung open again. “Oh, here is your other visitor! He’s new to Seoul. Told him he had to meet the coolest person in town if he was really going to fit in.”

Daesung’s heart nearly stopped beating again when his gaze met a pair of jet black eyes that were as bottomless as the ocean and as fierce as a falcon in the dive. The man, who looked only a year older than Jiyong, smiled slightly. “I’m Seunghyun. I've been dying to meet you.”

---

Ta-da~ And that’s a wrap. :D You likes? Tell me all about it in the comments. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it! Also, long live ToDae! 

 

 

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Rl-Tatsu #1
Chapter 4: OMG I really loved this story, wow the end was what I liked most. Simply beautiful❤❤❤?
pikachu79 #2
Chapter 4: Wow I really love this piece!! Been a fan of ur todae works and came to ur repertoire to read every single piece. Erm on todae. Kkk. Wonderful journey so far and definitely bookmarking this one!!! ❤️
SunDaeDreamz
#3
Chapter 4: Omg, so awesome. SunDae, Gdae, &ToDae! So happy that Dae gets a happy ending.
Mahblues
#4
Chapter 4: Oh my gosh i'm so happy with the ending :)) I love your fic :)))

I discussed with my friend while I was reading chapter 3 and I guessed the next person would be Riri, who would be in love with Daesung and I also thought that Seunghyun was Daeth, so finally Dae would die and spent his life after death with Seunghyun :))))))) how silly am I :)))))
gsdragonvip #5
Chapter 4: Would it be too much to ask for a sequel? What is their life together after death I love this I can't get enough todae like this it's A+ really it is
kumakuma166
#6
Chapter 4: okay. i am going to country named Feeliphine and straight to Todae-ville. so much feels for the pairing but of course I ship ToDae so hard :")
Daenosaurus
#7
Chapter 4: I love you. This is ART, I cried so hard cuz ToDae is MY LIFE. I will go down with the ship... Thank you so much for writing such a beautiful piece, ToDae needs so much more love and recognition~

~Until Next Time!
todaeforlove #8
Chapter 4: omg !! this is so good ... i feel so overwhelming reading this three chapters... so great .. really love it... totally into my todae feels... thank you so much.. love your fictions so much...
meypyong
#9
Chapter 4: Ungaaaaa....!!! That was awesome and beautiful and sweet and fluffy. Daebak, author-nim