Normally, confessions didn’t go like this.

She wasn’t supposed to know, she wasn’t supposed to be the one asking him if he liked her. It was supposed to be either her telling him she liked him, or the other way around.

It was, absolutely, definitely, not supposed to be like this. But he supposed that was because this wasn’t really a confession.

“I’m sorry,” Amber said weakly, wringing her hands. “I don’t…I don’t like you, Suho, I mean, I do, you’re a great friend, you’re really awesome, but...you’re...my friend, Suho.”

Suho sort of stopped listening after that, watching her expression alternate between guilt and embarrassment. He supposed everybody knew, then, that he’d liked her. Amber wasn’t the kind of girl that would go around asking if boys had crushes on her, not that it was all too hard to develop one on her. Suho must have been absurdly obvious, and it was probably one of the f(x) girls who’d recommended that Amber confront him, and tell him the truth about her feelings, or rather lack thereof, just so he wouldn’t keep his hopes up.

Well she’d certainly crushed his hopes now.

“...and I just, I’m really sorry, Suho. You understand, right? We can still be friends?” she asked hopefully, and he really couldn’t say no when she was looking at him like that, even if she’d just taken his heart and stomped all over it.

He gave her a small smile, nodding his head. “Yeah,” he said, his voice quieter than he’d intended it to be. “Of course.”

She beamed at him, eyes twinkling, and he wondered how many more times she would end up stepping on his heart without her even knowing she was doing it.

--

He avoided her, for a little while. She must have known he was doing it, because after awhile, her messages stopped coming and she left him alone, their interactions limited to small smiles and waves whenever they passed each other in the hallways.

He didn’t mean to really stop talking to her. She was still as awesome as ever, and she still treated him as if he’d never confessed, which was a bonus. There was no pity, no careful phrasing whenever she did talk to him. She talked to him the way she always did, as if nothing had changed. It was Suho’s fault that he kept making things awkward, like blatantly getting lost in her eyes whenever she spoke, or having his heart stutter to a stop when she smiled at him. If she noticed these things, she never brought them up.

Then he hears her talking with Luna one day, and his heart stops for a different reason altogether, a bitter taste rising in his mouth.

“I feel really bad, Luna,” Amber says quietly, wringing her hands. “He’s really nice. He’s probably nicer than a lot of the guys we know. Why don’t I like him back?”

As far as Suho’s aware, no one else has confessed to Amber since their awkward encounter. There’s no one else she would be talking about but him.

“Maybe he’s too nice,” Luna offers, looking sympathetically back at her friend. “You always did like the guys you could banter with. Suho’s” - and that’s his confirmation, they’re talking about him - “too nice, I guess.”

Amber groans frustratedly into her hands, rubbing them tiredly over her face. “He deserves someone better than me,” she sighs at last. “This is awful. I feel horrible.”

Luna doesn’t say anything, patting Amber comfortingly on her shoulder, and Suho feels his heart tremor, then shatter.

Too nice. That whole thing about nice guys not actually finishing last was a complete, total lie.

--

It’s a couple weeks later that Suho spots Amber sitting alone in one of those common rooms that trainees and idols can relax in after practicing. She’s rocking dangerously back and forth on the chair, two of the chair legs off the ground, casually scrolling through something on her phone while using her other hand to grip the table so she doesn’t fall too far backwards.

But it’s also Amber, and she’s prone to accidents no matter what, and her hand slips, her chair falling back. Suho runs into the room and catches her just in time, stabilizing her. Amber’s surprised squeal dies in and she breathes a sigh of relief when her feet are back on the ground.

“You should really be more careful,” Suho reprimands her teasingly, and Amber’s shock is quickly exchanged for a bright grin when she sees it’s him.

Suho kicks himself mentally for not talking to her for weeks.

“Hey,” she beams, and that smile on her face is so undoubtedly genuine, it kills him inside. She lets out a little laugh and gestures for him to sit down, her eyes bright. He loves that look on her, thinks it’s probably - definitely - one of the reasons he fell for her in the first place, and probably - definitely - one of the reasons he thinks it’s impossible to let her go.

Amber doesn’t so much as let him get a word in before she’s rambling again, talking animatedly as if he hasn’t been avoiding her for the past three weeks. She just looks excited to see him, rattling off stories of everything he’s missed.

He can’t take his eyes off her, and he knows he must look embarrassingly in love, but he can’t help it.

It takes a large group of idols and trainees noisily entering the room for him to finally break out of his trance, drowning out Amber’s voice as she cuts off and waves happily at everyone. A hand falls on Suho’s shoulder and he twists his head around to see Yixing taking a seat next to him, turning back in time to watch Henry sling an arm around Amber’s shoulders.

It hits him like a slap to the face when he realizes.

The smile Amber gives him is nothing close to the way she looks at Henry. It’s genuine, sure, Amber’s smiles almost always are. But the way she looks at Henry mirrors the way Suho looks at her; she’s entranced, enamored by the way Henry smiles at her. She hasn’t taken her eyes off him since she spotted him, and Suho knows that Henry can’t keep his eyes off Amber, either.

Henry pulls her closer to him and she squirms and complains, but she’s laughing out loud in a way that tells Suho he never stood a chance in the first place. Not when Henry was his competition.

Yixing squeezes his shoulder knowingly, and Suho hates the way his heart drops to his stomach, because Amber smiles at Henry in a way that she’s never smiled at anyone else before; she gives Henry a smile that is undeniably reserved just for him, eyes twinkling with mischief and affection.

Henry ruffles her hair and pokes her cheeks and she whines, kicking him in the shin, but it hits harder than intended and Henry winces in pain. She laughs and apologizes, her hands on his shoulder and upper arm, and Henry huffs and pouts until she gives him a quick hug.

Someone calls her attention and she turns away from Henry, leaning over to hear them better. When she turns back, she tosses Suho a smile, brighter than the one she gave him earlier. He knows it has to do with Henry being by her side, and it breaks his heart.

But, she looks so unreservedly happy, and he thinks he can live with that.

AUTHOR’S NOTE;

i’m so sorry for the ty ending LMAO also very sorry this took so long

thank you for reading!! comments are always appreciated ^^

oh also here’s my henber one-shot collection in case anybody is interested

i haven’t updated in forever but i mean u can check it out anyway if u want ajsfhkajsf