3Days before the party 

 Flashback 

Kwon Ji-Yong POV

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 
― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP 

I was reading one of my favorite books in my hotel room , i keep reading over and over again this part , it's really stick in my mind "“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either.." such wise words i totally agree .. Life , nothing good about it , trust me Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can.. aish what i am saying right now make no sense right ? I am supposed to be the most happiest man in the earth right ? i have everything , money , fame , power .. that's right , i should be thankful and glad , i have everything , people fear by hearing my name , women wants to date me , and every one wants to be in my circle .. yeah that's me , that's my life .. but why do i feel lonely ? why do i feel like there is something missing ? why do i have this awkward feeling ? To be honest i have never trust anyone in my whole life , my Dad used to tell me : " don't trust anybody , in our world , you have to be standing by you own .. there is many people who wants the death of you , who wants you to souffrire just to take your money , and to make fun of you .. so DOn't you trust anyone."

Aish i hate being alone .. it makes me overthink about everything , past , present and future , this is not helping me at all .. i think i need to go out for a drink ... a