"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

This question can be met with a wide array of answers. My teacher asked me this question in second grade and my answer has never changed.

I wanted to be an idol. 

Growing up with the dream of becoming an idol was a life of hard work and sacrifice. I've trained for years under the scrutiny of management, with every little aspect of my life under harsh rule. My weight, my habits and my singing and dancing skills were all under the watchful eye of people who wanted to make me a star. This kind of life was hard enough for an adult, but for a young girl, this life could be very lonely... 

  As trainees we were all in the same boat. But we also acknowledged that we were in direct competition. We shared the same dream of debuting in a group, but we knew that as we grew closer to each other as we trained, that one day we may have to betray one another to reach our dream.   I was ruthless. I had dreamt about this ever since I was a young girl and would sing and dance to kpop songs in my room, on the bus, at school and at the dinner table (much to my mothers disdain). This was my one life goal and nothing was going to get in my way.   Sure, maybe I would meet people and develop friendships, and we may even debut in the same group... But to me, popularity was everything.   I wanted to be that shining member.   I wanted to be the one who is met by the loudest cheer by fans during our introduction, t