“This is like the perfect crime.”

“What do you mean?” Jaejoong asks while looking up the sky, trying to figure out if this one cloud in particular looked like a dog or a really strange car.

“Well, you stole my heart and I stole yours. Perfect, isn’t it?”

Jaejoong smiles, inhaling the fresh air. Laying underneath their favorite tree, the one they always sat under in high school, Yunho props up on his elbows, laughing as a funny memory comes to mind.

“What’s so funny?”

“Remember the first time you cooked for me?”

“Hey, I didn’t know you were allergic to peanuts! You could’ve told me, .”

“That was quite something, wasn’t it?” Yunho asks with a smile, leaning so close, the tips of their noses touch. “At least you remembered to order a wedding cake without peanuts. If not, our wedding day wouldn’t have been quite as perfect as it was.”

“It really was perfect, wasn’t it?”

“Just like you are,” he whispers right before their lips meet in a loving kiss.

“Ugh,” Jaejoong whispered as he let go of the pencil. While massaging his hand to get rid of the cramps, he looked at the many pages sprawled out on the wooden desk. There it was, his entire life written in thousands of words. ‘If only the words were true,’ he thought to himself. His hand graced the unfinished page in front of him. This was the only way he could deal with the excruciating pain.  

After losing Yunho 6 months earlier in a fatal car crash, Jaejoong started writing out what his life would have been like had that fateful day never occurred. Yes, he knew therapy was an option, but speaking of it… mentioning his beloved’s name was too painful. He didn’t want to hear himself say that Yunho was gone; he didn’t want to make it real.

His perfect world was shattered into a million pieces the day Yunho died, and no matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never put the pieces back together again. Only Yunho could.

He kissed his engagement ring and asked himself the same question he asked every day. “Why did God have to take you away on our wedding day?”