Luhan was ready with his suit, Sehun came up and fixed Luhan’s tie. “come on, you still cant do it?” Sehun said giving the elder a soft laugh. “umma! Umma! Promise me you’ll be here on my birthday okay?” “yah, Selu, stop asking things to umma” Sehun said finished fixing Luhan’s tie.  Luhan looked down at his little son and bent down a little after took off Sehun’s hands from his neck before the younger struggle him to death.

“I will” Luhan said giving out his pinky. Selu gave out his pinky too and pecked Luhan’s cheek. Luhan laughed a little and picked up his 6 years old son. “don’t use phone” Sehun said. “don’t get distracted” he continued. Luhan just nodded and looked at his son, who was also nodding in either agreement or disagreement. “don’t fall asleep, don’t, don’t, just don’t!” Sehun ended his speech. “this isn’t my first time, why are you so worried?” Luhan asked, his face was shining because the morning sun.

 The airport was already filled with people, bringing their luggage, run here and there.  The calls were also everywhere. Sehun was wearing a blue t-shirt with blue jeans and black converse, there was a wallet popped out from his back pocket. Sehun leaned closer, squishing Luhan’s not so chubby cheeks. “like usual, I’ll wait till you come back and bring me presents” Luhan handed Selu to Sehun, he was ready. “Selu ah, please take car of appa, while im gone okay?” Sehun ruffled his son’s hair gently, Selu was wearing the same style as Sehun, just he used white as color. Selu nodded. “don’t worry! I’ll take care of him, carefully.” Selu said giving an ‘ok’ sign with his little fingers. “oh you little kid” Sehun said.

“should we take a picture?” sehun asked. “like we don’t always do that?” Luhan replied. “sir, can you take a picture of us?” Luhan stopped a man who was walking in front of them. “sure” the man said and Sehun handed him his phone before picking up Selu and held Selu on his arm while the other arm wrapped safely around Luhan’s waist.

The picture was taken, like how they usually took a picture on the event like this, it couldn’t be counted how many pictures did Sehun have on his phone. “I’ll see you later darling” Luhan said pecking Selu’s forehead. “you are so disgusting” Sehun sighed. “you too, brat” Luhan laughed, he was ready. But Sehun put Selu down and pulled Luhan close to him. “I love you” Sehun said softly almost whispering before leaned in to give Luhan a soft touch on his lips using his. “I love you too” Luhan replied, smiling and hugged Sehun tightly. Selu watched them in silent but indeed, a smile appeared on his thin lips.

Sehun let go of his hug and another sigh came after. “don’t forget to drop Selu to school” Luhan said. “I wont forget”. Sehun nodded with a big smile on his lips. “okay, then” Luhan looked at his son again “be good” Luhan caressed Selu’s cheek and hugged him tightly before letting go.  Luhan took his luggage and pulling it, walking to the gate. Sehun picked up Selu and held him on his arms, looking at his husband walking further with his uniform. “Luhan, Luhan!” Sehun shouted. Luhan stopped his step and turned his back at his family, slowly but sure he took his most proud hat and putting it on his head before smiling at his family.

Days passed, it was near Selu’s birthday. On the other day. Selu usually would run to the front door and found his umma, Luhan standing there with presents and…….presence.

“he’s coming right?” the little child’s smile greeted Sehun early in that morning, Sehun was still lying on his bed with his white pajama, blinking his eyes slowly and pulled up the blanket to cover his son’s body. He gave the little one a soft smile, a sign  that he, too, was in doubt.

It was Sunday morning Selu was ready with his favorite green t-shirt and blue jeans. Sehun was on the couch watching tv as usual. Sehun stood up and poked his son’s head. “what are you doing?” he asked while reaching the kitchen to make breakfast. Selu didn’t answer but his hands were busy playing with something. Sehun picked up Selu and put him on the chair, ready for breakfast. Sehun didn’t know, but it felt so empty that morning. “I missed umma” Selu said between chewing his food. “me too, terribly” Sehun replied, Sehun got up and did the dishes.

Selu back to play with his toy, while Sehun was still on the couch watching the tv, he looked again at his phone, checking his husband’s flight schedule. “hmm flight G-303 boeing 737 from Tokyo he should be back to Korea by now.” Sehun smiled at himself. He listened to the newest breaking news.

“good morning, back with me. Kai, on the breaking news, today. 12.35 pm, the flight G-303, departure from Tokyo, Japan and should be arrived in an hour in Seoul, Korea. Reported lost contact from the airport and cant be detected its location. People on the control tower are still trying to reach this plane brought by Captain  Xi Luhan this morning from Tokyo…….”

Sehun couldn’t hear anything anymore, his ears were like stabbed by knives his eyes couldn’t see things clearly anymore, the cold sweat falling from his head, his heart beat faster than it should be. He leaned himself on the couch, trying to comfort himself, maybe, or trying to deny it, the news. Or triying to deny his broken heart.

The afternoon sun broke the windows, Sehun slowly opened his eyes, he didn’t realize he fell asleep crying on the couch. He rubbed his puffy red eyes and finally got himself settled down on the couch, he looked around for Selu. “Selu?” he called. Sehun got up from the couch and found his one and only son was asleep on the floor holding on something that always reminded him of his umma, Luhan. “Selu?” Sehun bended down and shook his son’s body gently, making the younger awake. “noooo!!! I fell asleep!” Selu got up and ran to the front door. Sehun could only fall on his knees, biting his lower lip, and also biting back the tears.

Selu ran to the front door, taking the knob and tunred it. “umma!” the little Selu shouted, but he found no one was there. When he usually always found his umma standing there. Selu was still smiling. “umma, are you hiding?” Selu looked around. Sehun forced himself to get up, walking slowly to reach the front door, when there was a tone came from his phone, but he didn’t want to care about it now.

“Selu” Sehun said softly and wrapped his arms around Selu’s neck from behind. “lets get back in the house” Sehun said. Selu looked at Sehun and nodded. Both of them entered the house. The night had come, the time when they needed to go back to sleep. Selu was already lying on his own bed, he wanted to sleep on his on bed tonight. Sehun pecked his son’s forehead and walked out the room when someone knocked on the front door, Sehun quickly opened it. “yes?” he said. “are you Sehun?” the bunch of people were on his front door. Sehun nodded, he couldn’t stand on his own feet anymore, he lips was trembling, his soul was like forcibly  pulled out from his body. He nodded at them before closing the door, leaning his back on the door and fell sitting on the floor. He covered his face and cries, in silent.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Both Selu and Sehun brought their own flower taking their heavy steps to the place they had never wanted to visit, it was dark, quiet, the feeling of helplessness and loneliness. They bent down on the grave that they both wanted and didn’t want to see. Selu ran his fingers through his messy hair and wiped his tears that kept falling from both of his little eyes, remembering again how Luhan would greet him after the flight, standing on the front door with open arms. Sehun wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders and leaned on him.

“blow the candles!!” Sehun shouted with his red eyes, and ugly white shirt and  boxers. Selu was taking his deep breath, he wore the red t-shirt along with black jeans, the last piece Luhan bought for him. “wait!” Selu shouted. Selu jumped off he chair and went somewhere, came back after a while hugging something. Sehun smiled a little. “1……2…….3…!!!!” the little Selu blew his birthday candles, hugging the miniature of the plane that sent his one and only umma far away to heaven above. No there was no happy birthday’s that night, just Sehun and Selu and a small cake for Selu’s birthday. Both of them looked at each other for a quite long. “I want to go to sleep” Selu said almost whispering, Sehun got up and picked up his son, holding him on his arms.

“don’t you want to change your clothes?” Sehun asked Selu who was already on bed, Selu didn’t answer it, he just shook his head and closed his eyes. “okay” Sehun pecked Selu’s forehead. But Selu too, he felt that anxiety he never thought he would feel before, the separation with the person he loved. Sehun was pulling the blanket to cover Selu’s body. But Selu smiled a little, it felt like it was his umma, Luhan was pulling a blanket for him that night, wishing him a sweet dream, Selu hugged tight the plane miniature as a single tear fell from his eye.

Sehun closed Selu’s room door. He looked around the place. Things were still the same. “it’s just you’re so far away now that I cant reach” sehun bowed his head, taking out his phone and decided to look at the last photo he took together with Luhan. “you told me once that sky is your home…” Sehun started to sob silently. He remembered the tone back then, Sehun found an unread email on the day he heard the news.

From: [email protected]

To : [email protected]

Luhan wrote :

Sehun, Selu.  I love you, with all my heart, approximately from the highest limit of sky.

Reply, forward…

Sehun burst into tears, he threw his phone and covered his face with both of his hand  

“……..but it’s okay because the sky knows how much i love you, approximately…..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Till Selu and I can touch your sky too”