Sehun didn’t know at which point he grew complacent with Jongin by his side, so much that it felt weird when they went their separate ways in the evenings. He ended his shift at the bubble tea shop and they parted with a smile; a smile, just one, specifically Jongin’s smile. For a second, Sehun froze. He stared at the smile that tugged those lips upward, revealing Jongin’s pearly whites; the way his eyes smiled too, two crescent moons hanging upside down.

He ended up thinking about Jongin’s smile on his way back to the house. It was just a house, not home. Nope, the only two homes he’d ever known had been ripped away from him, one by a fire, the other by…. Wait, what was he doing, reminiscing about the past? He shook his head, like a dog trying to get water out of its ears. It had been that way since the past few days, the memories hitting him out of the blue, forcing him to relive his past, to remember those who had shaped him into what he was today, a bitter man trapped in a teenager’s body.

He had not thought of it for a long time now. But being around with Jongin had made him ponder on lots of stuff, even when he tried not to. He was being changed, bit by bit, by Jongin.

Was that a bad thing? Yes, it was. Wasn’t it? Damn it.  He was holding a conversation with himself now.

He paused in his steps, there was no one in the quiet alley; the one he took each day back from work just to avoid crowds. I am not being changed. He repeated that to himself a couple of times as if to insist on it.

Late that night, he stood in front of the mirror, looking at his face. He tried using the facial muscles that were rusty from disuse. Lips were tugged up in a parody of a smile, a mockery of a grin. No, that wasn’t it. That wasn’t how Jongin did it. Sehun tried squinting to make the crescent eyes Jongin had when he smiled. Nope, wasn’t working. It just distorted his face, turning it into a travesty of a smile.

Sehun scowled, giving up. What was he trying to prove to himself anyway?

The curl of your lips,

The twinkle in your eyes,

Something I can’t do,

Despite all my tries.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two worlds clashed the next evening, the two worlds of Kai and Jongin.

Jongin had left Sehun earlier than normal at the library, telling him that he had plans for the rest of the day. Why he was explaining himself to Sehun, he had no idea. Perhaps he had wanted to see Sehun react, wanting to catch a glimpse of disappointment in those hazel eyes, wanting indisputable proof that perhaps, just maybe, Sehun would miss him a little. But Sehun had kept his face down, rummaging around his bag when Jongin had delivered the news, rendering Jongin in the dark about what his reaction was.

So here he was with his friends in a club. The music was blaring as Baekhyun dragged him from his seat at the bar where he was nursing a beer. “Come on, Kai, live a little!” Kai sighed; he didn’t feel like partying, not when he had so much in his head. Baekhyun looked at him, assessing his mood, his stare piercing. “Are you thinking about him?”

Kai pursed his lips; there was a fierce debate in his mind whether to admit how he was feeling. He nodded, there was no reason to keep his friends guessing of his feelings, not after the conversation they had last night.

Flashback:

“Wait, let me get this straight, you like Oh Sehun?” Chen was looking at him with a look of disbelief. “You? The playboy of S.M High?” He looked at Kai skeptically, “Are you bull ting me right now?”

Kai let out a sigh of frustration. “Yes, I like him, okay? If you don’t believe me, then stop ing asking me all these questions!” Damnit, he didn’t mean to end the last part with a yell. It was just so exasperating trying to admit something that he hadn’t even come to terms yet. But he had said it, admitted that he did like the other boy.

He didn’t know when he started liking the kid; maybe it happened somewhere in between stalking Sehun in crowded corridors and the one-sided conversations they had, one-sided on his part, obviously. Maybe it happened while he stared at Sehun biting his lips while reading Tolstoy, maybe he just liked Sehun’s tiny frown when he swears around